The Lost World (1960)

A load of tosh but an enjoyable monster romp all the same. Professor Challenger (Claude Rains) returns from the Amazon with an amazing discovery, though not one he can prove, he has found dinosaurs atop a remote plateau! Despite official scepticism, Challenger assembles a new expedition to gain the proof. Unfortunately his team is a motley team including a sceptical scientist Summerlee (Richard Haydn), a dodgy adventurer Lord Roxton (Michael Rennie), a journalist Malone (David Hedison) and... a young woman Holmes (Jill St John) who brings her little yapping dog for an adventure to find dinosaurs!

The group find the plateau thanks to helicopter pilot Gomez (Fernando Lamas) but things soon take a turn for the worse when a dinosaur wrecks their helicopter and chases them into the jungle. Really you wonder why they were not a little more prepared. Soon things get worse as they are captured by a native tribe after finding a native girl (Vitina Marcus) and are prepared for the chop...

The plot is obvious but the film is good old fashioned adventure fun though fairly ridiculous in many ways, including the low budget "dinosaurs" which are basically large lizards with horns and plates glued to them!

Doomwatch (1972)

An environmental horror, though rather dull. Dr Shaw (Ian Bannen), from a government department investigating ecological problems called Doomwatch, arrives at a remote Cornish island to get samples of flora and fauna. He finds the villagers rather... odd. No one wants to help him, especially the policeman (Percy Herbert) and the vicar (Joseph O'Conor). This is beyond the usual suspicion of outsiders though. Dr Shaw uncovers evidence of something far more sinister behind closed doors...

An experimental growth hormone has been illegally dumped off the coast of the island. The Doomwatch team discover that the hormone is causing problems with many of the islanders, making them violent, deranged and deformed. Can Dr Shaw, with the help of the teacher Victoria (Judy Geeson) persuade the villagers to accept help?

A rather low-wattage drama. It was based on an early 1970s TV series and this shows at time with the lack of budget and plodding, yet well measured, plot. It is an interesting film and has enough drama to keep your interest, just. 

Swiss Miss (1938)

Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy have come to Switzerland to sell mouse traps, as it is where the most cheese is! After a mix-up with fake money which leaves them broke but with a huge lunch bill, they end up working in a hotel kitchen and won't get out until they stop breaking plates... well that probably means never! 

Meanwhile, the famous opera composer Victor (Walter Woolfe King) is working on a new opera and must not be disturbed under any circumstances. Especially from his wife.

But his wife Anna (Grete Natzier) is also at the hotel, pretending to be a maid while she spies on Victor. To get the peace and quiet he needs, Victor gets Stan and Ollie to move his piano up the mountain to a secluded chalet... unfortunately an escaped gorilla has other ideas!

A fine enough Laurel and Hardy film though at times it has the air of a pantomime where they are the comedy double act to punctuate the main story which is a light hearted musical. Not their best film though enough Laurel and Hardy magic remains, even if it is a bit stretched out.

Indestructible Man (1956)

A kind of variation on the Frankenstein theme. "Butcher" Benton (Lou Chaney Jr) is a hardened criminal who goes to the gas chamber without telling the police where the loot from an armed robbery is stashed. His corpse is stolen by mad scientist Professor Bradshaw (Robert Shayne) for his medical experiments. Somehow his experiment brings Benton back to life, and what is more he is now virtually indestructible!

After killing the Prof, Benton goes in search of his moll Eva (Marian Carr), and his old gang. The latter he kills in his single minded pursuit of revenge. While Police Lieutenant Chasen (Mac Showalter) ...er.. chases down the gang (that name surely has to be an in-joke?), the police begin a search for Benton. Unfortunately, as bullets don't work on Benton, they come armed with bazookas and flamethrowers!

It is all a lot of nonsense but pretty entertaining. The film is pretty dark and violent as well as ridiculous. It is basically a noir crime drama with a supernatural/monster addition and pretty enjoyable.

The Apple (1980)

The year is 1994 and the world is controlled by BIM! BIM in fact being the highly addictive musical concoction of Mr Boogalow (Vladek Sheybal), who spends most of his time indulging with orgies with a whole host of freaks (and the rest of the time he wastes). 

Bibi (Catherine Mary Stewart) and Alphie (George Gilmore) are naive kids from rural Canada who have a dream to sing songs, but Mr Boogalow wants to drag them into his showbiz machine...

He indeed does get Bibi to sign but Alphie resists and he cast adrift from the extremely camp Mad Max style cast of BIM. Bibi gets drawn into a life of drugs and sex while Alphie lounges around writing songs and groping his landlady. Finally, Bibi sees the light and flees, and is reunited with Alphie who by now is in a hippy commune but Mr Boogalow isn't finished yet...

Quite frankly this is one of the strangest films ever made. A sci-fi comedy religious allegory musical. Although the future portrayed is largely nonsense you could say that the dark future envisaged back in 1980 did come true in some ways, with popular culture under the thumb of big corporations controlling kids of dubious talent. Unfortunately we didn't get the Mad Max / Gary Glitter-esque future outfits and cars with extra fibreglass panels added to them. 

The music (of this musical) isn't that bad and the sheer weirdness and campness of this film makes this highly enjoyable and entertaining despite how awful the story and acting mostly is. 

Brilliant nonsense. It really is quite extraordinary.

The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

An incredibly bizarre and sleazy horror film. Top surgeon Bill (Jason Evers) is in a car accident with his girlfriend Jan (Virginia Leith). As she lies dying in a burning car he... decided to cut off her head and then run to his secluded house where he is conducting twisted medical experiments. He manages to keep Jan's head alive and now he seeks a new body for her.

Despite the fact Jan has only a limited time left, Bill seems in no hurry to secure a new body. Indeed, he fancies an upgrade and cruises sleazy clubs looking for a suitable body and even a beauty pageant! Finally, he finds the suitable body in the form of a model, Doris (Adele Lamont) and takes her to his home. But things are going wrong in the lab. Jan has gained a kind of psychic power and directs the mutant beast Bill keeps locked away (the result of earlier experiments that did not quite go to plan) to kill Bill's assistant Kurt (Leslie Daniel). Then when Bill prepares to cut off Doris' head, the mutant (Eddie Carmel) breaks out of it's cell and wrecks havoc!

A low budget and low rent film. Shamelessly exploitative, including a scene where two strippers have a fight on the floor. It is macabre, pretty evil and rather cheesy. It isn't that good either, the film is a little too weird to be a trash cult classic and rather too dark at it's core. However, it should be experienced at least once.

Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter (1974)

Captain Kronos is a Hammer horror with a difference. As well as battling vampires with wooden stakes and crosses and the usual weapons against evil, vampire hunter Captain Kronos (Horst Janson) also uses various swords including one forged from a metal cross. He is in a small village along with his assistant and vampire expert Professor Grost (John Cater) and a maiden called Carla (Caroline Munro) whom Kronos is helping/bonking. The village has seen a number of horrific vampire attacks on young girls which leaves them as dying old women...

Kronos investigates with the help of his old comrade Dr Marcus (John Carson), but when he also falls foul of the vampires suspicion falls on the Durward family. Lady Durward (Wanda Ventham) is incredibly aged after the loss of her husband (William Hobbs) but is all that it seems?

This is not the usual Hammer fare, as well as plenty of sword play the film contains a deal of whimsy and oddness. The film is sexy and fun though also quite baffling and a little slow to get started. Although overall this is a good film it is not without it's issues. It was not the success Hammer was hoping for and unfortunately the planned series of Kronos films never came about.