The Beast of Borneo (1934)

A rather mediocre jungle and animal exploitation film. The film is slow and stilted and it's never a good sign when some of the animals can act better than the humans...

Dr Borodoff (Eugene Siglaoff) has some strange theories about human evolution from apes and needs a live orangutan to complete his experiments. As animal hunter Bob Ward (John Preston) has failed to provide a specimen so far from the jungles of Borneo Dr Borodoff - who is billed as an Anglo-Russian scientist though sounds like he is from Brooklyn - heads to Borneo with his beautiful assistant Alma (Mae Thorne). There they persuade Bob Ward, who is hesitant to provide animals for vivisection though is ok to put them in zoos, to take them into the jungle to find the orangutan Borodoff needs...

Despite being set in the jungle, and thus potentially full of life, the film is oddly lifeless. It proceeds at a glacial pace. The acting is frequently odd too, though in Mae Thorne's case it looks like she knew the film was complete nonsense and was doing it for a laugh.

By the Sun's Rays (1914)

A run-of-the-mill but decent enough Western silent short. Frank Lawler (Lon Chaney) is a definite bad guy. As the clerk for a mining company he knows when the gold shipments go out and tells a gang of bandits so they can steal it. Frank is also after the mine owner's daughter Dora (Agnes Vernon)...

The mine boss (Seymour Hastings) is however suspicious there is an inside man and hires detective John Murdock (Murdock MacQuarrie) to infiltrate the gang and find out. Of course Murdock saves the day, and the girl.

The plot is fairly simple but works fine in a film that's just about ten minutes long, let's face it some much longer films have even more simple plots.

The Drums of Jeopardy (1931)

A somewhat creaky early talkie though worth seeing for Warner Oland in a pre-Charlie Chan role, here he plays a mad Russian scientist bent on revenge.

He wants revenge on the Russian Petrov princes (Lloyd Hughes and Wallace Macdonald) who he thinks caused the death of his daughter. After the Revolution the Petrovs are in exile in America and the mad scientist is now released from the gulag and has the help of the Bolsheviks...

He possesses jewels of the Petrovs called the Drums of Jeopardy, he promises to return the jewels to the family one by one as he disposes of them.

The jewels are cursed (naturally), it's said that if one of the drums is separated from the others whoever receives it dies within twenty-four hours...

There follows some murky goings on, some bumpings off and other evil schemes. The action isn't that great though certainly atmospheric and the acting (especially by Oland) a bit over the top but it is a fascinating film. Oland's character was Dr Boris Karlov, it's said that Boris Karloff got the idea for his screen name after reading the original novel.

Radar Men from the Moon (1952) (Serial)

Commando Cody (George Wallace) wears a rocket suit and also flies a rocket ship. In this exciting serial he is sent to the moon where the evil Retik (Roy Barcroft) plans to conquer Earth using his advanced atomic weapons. Although as usual with these kind of things, for all that high-tech advancement nothing can defeat good old American fisticuffs (as Captain Kirk proved later on, only his fists could save the universe).

As this is a serial (of twelve parts) of course it is fast moving and basically a series of action set pieces with cliffhangers. Can Cody escape being blown up or melted by lava? Find out next week!

Radar Men from the Moon reused a lot of footage from earlier serials. The rocket suit scenes for example were reused from King of the Rocketmen. Visually though this serial is a treat, spaceships with fins, laboratories fill of sparking equipment and mysterious dials. Most of the action is a series of somewhat lower-tech punch-ups though.

The Murder in the Museum (1934)

A "museum" - more correctly a rather flimsy freakshow of knife throwers, mind readers, a conjuror (Henry B. Walthall) and belly dancers - is under investigation from the city council. Much to the show manager's consternation as his show is a front for drug running...

When councilman Newgate (Sam Flint) is shot dead suspicion falls on a man with no arms but can fire guns with his feet (really!) But then Police Commissioner Brandon (Joseph Girard), a political rival of the victim, is suspected of the crime...

Brandon's niece Lois (Phyllis Barrington) teams up with plucky reporter Jerry Ross (John Harron) to find the real killer. Take away the freak show element then the film is a pretty basic murder mystery with Golden Age touches but it is pretty well done and the "museum" is hilarious. Especially when it re-opens after the murder with a big banner advertising that punters can see where Newgate was shot!

Troll 2 (1990)

Troll 2 is often listed among the worst films of all time, so is it? Troll 2 is a basic horror film involving murderous little goblins (not trolls - there are no actual trolls in the movie despite the title) terrorising a family in the middle of nowhere....

So the set-up seems fine for a basic horror flick, but what makes Troll 2 stand out is just how badly it was all executed. The plot, dialogue, acting and camerawork are all terrible... but happily it is so terrible as to be actually very entertaining.

Some examples of the (real) terror include a fly very visibly landing on an actor's forehead and the director not bothering to redo the shot. One of the main actors was a dentist (George Hardy) who turned up at filming for a laugh and ended up being made the lead. The goblins are defeated by eating a ham sandwich... Then there is Grandpa Seth (Robert Ormsby) who surely is one of the weirdest movie characters ever.

So it's utterly terrible, but so compelling. So it is one of the best worst movies of all time. Did I mention there is a scene where the boy starts urinating on the family's dinner?

Paradise Express (1937)

A small railroad run by grouchy Jed Carson (Harry Davenport) is facing bankruptcy due to the underhand tactics of a trucking company. Receiver Larry Doyle (Grant Withers) has been bought in not knowing it is the work of the crooked trucking boss (Donald Kirke) and part of his plan to get rid of the railroad and gain a freight monopoly.

Doyle, after a slightly fractious start with Jed and his granddaughter Kay (Dorothy Appleby), gets to work trying to save the railroad company despite the odds against him...

A neat little morality play of the type common at the time (when big business when hitting the real guy for real in 1930s America). The clerk Trotter (Arthur Hoyt) provides some comic relief.

Boot Hill Bandits (1942)

The Range Busters were a trio of cowboys who made no fewer than twenty four movies in the early 1940s.

Marshal Corrigan (Ray Corrigan) turns up in Sundance and sets up a shooting date with the Mesquite Kid (I. Stanford Jolly) whom he promptly despatches but really he is in town to investigate the mysterious Bolton (John Merton) whom he thinks is up to no good but isn't the real leader of the gang. When Bolton's men blow up a mine payroll wagon Corrigan is thought to be killed. However he is still alive and with the help of his fellow Range Busters (John King and Max Terhune) investigate the gang and uncover the real mastermind.

It is a rather straight forward but enjoyable Western, simple cowboy adventures with a ventriloquist dummy (yes that's right Max Terhune's dummy Elmer).

Danger Lights (1930)

An early talkie and one of the earliest films filmed in widescreen though that version no longer survives. It is a story of romance and railroads, lots of railroads.

Dan Thorn (Louis Wolheim) is a tough - to an almost ridiculous stereotypical degree - railroad boss. During the clear-up of an accident he recruits (or rather press gangs) hobo Larry Doyle (Robert Armstrong) into working for him.

Despite his resistance Larry stays on with the company but a complication occurs when he falls in love with Mary (Jean Arthur) who is Dan's fiancee. Naturally Dan isn't too happy about the competition...

Although the story and plot isn't too much to get excited about being a fairly basic love triangle with a bit of railroad peril though isn't bad, the acting and dialogue delivery is sometimes a bit off as is usual for an early talkie but not always. Where this film really flies is the railway footage, quite simply it's brilliant (no bland stock footage here) and some of it very rare.

Alice in Wonderland (1915)

Another version of Lewis Carroll's famous story, we've reviewed the 1903 version before.

This one stars Viola Savoy as Alice and is a very charming (if sometimes a little creepy) little film that captures the fantasy of the story well. Some of the character costumes and effects are very well done indeed especially the Mock Turtle.

However the film is a bit disjointed though mostly because of lost footage. Being 1915 the film makers were still a bit hesitant to do that many close-ups.

I Can't Escape (1934)

Steve Nichols (Onslow Stevens) has just got out of prison for an investment scam and ends up in a brawl in a nightclub while defending Mae (Lila Lee) an ageing good time girl. Steve shacks up with Mae but struggles to get a good job because of his record.

Eventually he lucks on a job with some investment brokers but they want to use him as the fall guy in the scam, exactly what got him into this trouble in the first place. Though their scam is rather flimsy and for an ex-con Steve is a bit naive...

Although a bit slow and clumsy it isn't a bad film, Onslow and Lila play good roles with plenty of chemistry. The main problem is the film makes little sense. Tom Martin (Russell Gleason) turns up looking for Steve to get revenge for the death of his father due to Steve's crimes. However he doesn't know what Steve looks like so Steve is able to pretend to be someone else but keeps Tom in his house to keep him under control. Tom somehow doesn't find it suspicious near strangers seem obsessed with keeping him under their roof.

Winner Takes All (1984)

This film stars Alan Tang and Olivia Cheng. Its a crime revenge drama, and the kind of strange genre crossing film HK cinema excelled at.

The plot is fairly basic: a jewellery shop boss loses his daughter in a rather bloody manner (crushed under a Ford Cortina - well i suppose if you have to go that's a fairly cool way to go) during a robbery and then seeks revenge on the three men who did it.

He enlists the help of a tough guy who is also after those three for killing his bro, well that is a useful coincidence.The two allies chase the three hoodlums, trying to keep one step ahead of the police. The female cop has a rather large bust which you may notice and the film certainly does. Our hero also has a rather fine girlfriend in Olivia who doesn't really affect the plot that much but does look lovely.

The shop owner ends up being a bit of a double crosser and a strange but interesting three way fight takes place in a shopping mall. A nonsense plot really like so many films of the period but 80s HK was cool and is always worth watching. Some good fighting and bad acting and hot chicks. Typical early 80s HK fare then!

Harlem is Heaven (1932)

This film wanted to showcase fine early 1930s music and dance moves from Bill Robinson. They needed some kind of plot to hang the musical parts of the movie on, unfortunately the plot is rather flimsy.

Jean (Anise Boyer) is in town wanting a job, she meets up with Money Johnson (James Baskett) who offers her one, and he can as he is the rich man in town. Unfortunately those riches are from the proceeds of crime...

Johnson says he is nice to people who are loyal and Jean is loyal for now. She gets drawn into Johnson's criminal doings but soon wants out, but doing so ain't easy... maybe Bill Robinson can help her out.

Well that is more or less what it is about, the story isn't really all that. Some of the acting is fun though. As a "black" film in the 1930s the black actors get to act in normal roles and not the usual ridiculous stereotypes in contemporary Hollywood fare. The best bit is the dancing and music though, its worth watching just for that.

The Thief of Bagdad (1940)

Gorgeous looking but frequently ridiculous Arabian adventure, filmed in Technicolor. Sultan Ahmed (John Justin) is convinced by his evil Grand Vizier (Conrad Veidt) to disguise himself as a poor man so he can know his people. Naturally the Vizier seizes the opportunity to take power and throw Ahmed in a dungeon. Ahmed escapes with the help of the young thief Abu (Sabu).

However the Vizier's evil is not yet over. Travelling to Basra with Abu, Ahmed falls in love with the Sultan's beautiful princess (June Duprez) whom the Vizier also has plans for having exchanged a flying horse to the Sultan for the daughter. When the princess refuses the Vizier in favour of Ahmed he uses evil magic to blind Ahmed and turns Abu into a dog...

The film looks amazing in Technicolor : blue mosques, purple cloaks, crimson palaces the works. The story is maybe a little nonsensical but that really is the point, this is a fairy tale fantasy and one of the best.

Night Alarm (1934)

Hal Ashby (Bruce Cabot) is a newspaper reporter determined to find out who is behind a spate of arson attacks in the city. The mayor is feeling the pressure to stop the attacks, but he is also under pressure from an industrialist bankrolling him.

He thus tries to pressurise the newspaper led by Sam Hardy. A complication is that the industrialist (H.B. Warner)'s daughter Helen (Judith Allen) is working for the paper too and gets involved with Hal...

Although pretty predictable Night Alarm is a decent watch with good performances by the leads Cabot and Allen with an exciting conclusion... though no surprises that it involves a fire! Actual fire footage is well woven into the film to elevate it above it's slim B-movie budget.