Muppet Treasure Island (1996)

A wonderfully warm and enjoyable pirate and treasure tale by the Muppets.

Jim (Kevin Bishop) has a map revealing where a great treasure is, but he has no means to get there. Or does he? Luckily Fozzy Bear is the rather eccentric son of a ship owner and gives Jim a ship and a crew. 

The ship is captained by Kermit and is a fine ship but unfortunately the ship's cook is Long John Silver (Tim Curry) and he has plans of his own for the treasure...

A great fun film that is based on the classic Robert Louis Stevenson tale though the Muppets take a few liberties! The film is packed full of typical Muppet humour, physical as well as smart wordplay and puns. A brilliant film that will appeal to all ages.

The Wizard (1989)

A charming if somewhat troubling film. Poor Jimmy (Luke Edwards) is a troubled kid, bad affected by his broken family. He keeps trying to run away to "California", finally his brother Corey (Fred Savage) helps him get out of his children's home. After meeting Haley (Jenny Lewis), who also seems to be wandering around small town America without anyone batting an eyelid, they discover that Jimmy is ace at video games so plan to head to LA to take part in a lucrative video game competition...

Complicating matters is that a creepy lost child hunter (Will Seltzer) has been sent after them, though amusingly Haley accuses him of being a child molester to get them out of one jam. Jimmy and Corey's father Sam (Beau Bridges) and big half-brother Nick (Christian Slater) are also after them...

So, a fun children's adventure in some ways, and a feature length Nintendo advert. However, the film does include a number of adult themes and in reality the kids would have probably ended up dead (or worse). But if you just enjoy the fantasy for what it is then it's a very enjoyable film.

Fun in Balloon Land (1965)

Many of the films reviewed on this blog make little sense, this film makes no sense whatsoever. The film is a child's dream, and his dream seems to involve giant inflatable characters who sound like they are shouting down tunnels, and a host of dancing characters. To be honest if this is what the child dreams of then they are probably in need of a child psychologist. They spend most of their time in their dream looking bored and confused, like everyone else, though it's their fault.

Then we see a parade to pad the film out, though to be honest it goes on so long it's more like the dream part of the film is the padding. Quite what this all means is unknown, but if you are of a sober inclination but you have wondered what it's like to be completely stoned out of your mind then this film is for you. Very weird indeed. It was probably made to advertise the Giant Balloon Parades Inc., or maybe psychedelic drugs.

The Monster of Highgate Ponds (1961)

A delightful and silly children's film. Uncle Dick (Ronald Howard) has bought back some eggs and other specimens from Malaya. One huge egg is not labelled so naturally and he doesn't know what it is... so naturally he gives the egg to his nephews to look after! 

David (Michael Wade) takes the egg to school where it hatches a small reptile which resembles a dragon. As the creature is growing very quickly, David and his friends Sophie (Rachel Clay) and Chris (Terry Raven) are forced to release the creature into the lake on Hamstead Heath. Trouble comes when a couple of crooks try and steal it...

A fun little film with some decent stop motion animation. Scientifically implausible maybe but certainly a novel 1960s monster film, one that doesn't involve crowds of people running in terror from a rampaging beast for a change.

The Secret Tunnel (1948)

An enjoyable children's adventure. When Roger (Tony Wager) discovers that his Dad's Rembrandt has been stolen from the supposedly secure vault at his mansion, he begins to investigate with John (Ivor Bowyer) the butler's son. They find a secret tunnel that leads from the vault and suspicion falls on the cook Mrs Matthews (Thelma Rea) and the antique seller Mr Harvey (Frank Henderson)...

Then a gang is let into the house by Mrs Matthews to empty out the rest of the vault. The two boys are captured but manage to escape and then help the police find the gang's hide out...

A straight forward adventure with plenty for viewers (of all ages) to enjoy. The story is fairly cliched but there is nothing wrong with good old fashioned fun.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

A very strange film, apparently a Christmas tale though it spends quite a lot of time displaying nuclear missiles and bombers! Martian children are watching Santa Claus on Earth TV and are sad that they have no toys and joy, no Christmas! The leader of the Martians, Kimar (Leonard Hicks) decides to go to Earth. However, for a change the Martians are not bent on destroying the world or stealing our women... no, instead they want Santa Claus!

The Martians manage to kidnap the real Santa (John Call) and two children (Victor Stiles and Betty Conforti) and take them to Mars. Santa manages to defeat the Martians and bring Christmas to Martian children! Hooray!

Obviously very silly, and not a little trippy. It is also pretty low budget though that adds to the fun, the Martians are all in green and have antennae growing out of their heads of course! The special effects are fairly cheap (though better than some serious science fiction films). The man in the polar bear suit is hilarious.

Jack and the Beanstalk (1970)

No doubt as the drug induced haze of the end of the 1960s began to slowly disperse, the idea of making a vaguely psychedelic and low budget version of a fairy story must have seemed a good idea.

So of course the story is very familiar, Jack (Mitch Poulos) is tricked out of selling his cow by Honest John (Chris Brooks) for a handful of magic beans instead of money. Mum (Dorothy Stokes) is displeased at this and throws the beans out of the window... but lo... the beans suddenly become a "giant" beanstalk (a rope with a few leaves tied onto it!)

Jack climbs the beanstalk and enters a magical realm inhabited by a grumpy giant (Renato Boracherro). Jack steals the giant's golden hen, but of course this puts the giant on Jack's trail...

A strange film that looks more like a filmed school play. The fairy tale is slightly modernised and the dialogue has a touch of late 1960s modernisation. It is a bit groovy, not brilliant but certainly different.

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (1972)

A very strange film. Santa (Jay Ripley) is stuck in Florida, his sleigh embedded deeply in about 2cm of sand, just before Christmas Eve. To avoid a disaster for children everywhere Santa calls for help from some local kids, they bring their pets and various other animals to try and pull Santa's sleigh free. A man in a rather unconvincing gorilla outfit also has a go.

It doesn't work and Santa begins to tell the kids some fairy stories to cheer them up... Jack and the Bean Stalk in fact. Why? Well that doesn't make such sense really, though there was a lot of handy footage from an earlier film that could be recycled...

The film is incredibly cheaply made and shoddy and has endless awful songs. It is supposed to be a children's film though sometimes seems rather dark and surreal. You may wonder what it is exactly which has made a large dark stain on the back of Santa's trousers. The Christmas movie genre is not generally known for good films but this must rank as one of the worst? Amid the weirdness and awfulness is true joy for those inclined of course.

The Ghost of Monk's Island (1966)

A delightful Children's Film Foundation film. Four children (Pierre Bedenes, Lucinda Jackson, Peter Bartlett and Robert Bartlett) are allowed off to sea on their own but run into trouble. They eventually land on tiny Monk's Island which, they are told by Eli (Conrad Phillips), is now uninhabited... except for the ghost of a monk.

While the search for the children continues news comes in that a convict (Jerold Wells) has escaped gaol and has been seen in the area. Meanwhile why does Jacob (Ivor Salter) seem to want to discourage Eli from checking Monk's Island? Meanwhile on the island the children (who seem to be able to find anything they need including string in abundance) start seeing the ghost of a monk...

A wonderfully nostalgic film when kids could be left to play all day on their own, and when boys carried knives it was to help them make kites, stockades and other boy scout antics. The film is full of the sort of things that used to fascinate children like abandoned houses and mysterious tunnels in a simpler, more civilised age...

Danger on Dartmoor (1980)

A Children's Film Foundation adventure with the usual mix mild peril and wholesome antics. Robin (Marcus Evans) and Justin (Simon Henderson) live on Dartmoor at their parents' farm. Their holidays though are about to be "ruined" by their cousin Louise (Debby Salter) who is visiting from the big city (and has a pocket calculator)...

However they arn't the only people on the moors. An escaped convict (Barry Foster) is also on the moors. His mum (Patricia Hayes) has left some supplies for him in the cattle shed on the farm leading the kids to head off on the moors to find out whats going on. They soon get lost in the mists, encountering a wild dog (who is soon tamed by a bit of chocolate), marshes and of course the convict...

A fun little film with a straightforward characters and story. Louise uses her pocket calculator at various parts of the film to make calculations and it ends up becoming a vital plot point of course.

Anoop and the Elephant (1972)

A rather charming children's film about an elephant and the circus. Anoop (Anoop Singh) is on a school camping trip with his class (which includes a very young Linda Robson). At a circus next to the campsite Anoop finds a rather forlorn looking elephant Ranne (Bella from Chessington Zoo in fact).

Unfortunately a nasty rival circus owner Skinner (George Roderick) wants to take Ranne away to Belgium. Penny (Rachel Brennock) who has trained Ranne gets Anoop's and the other children's help in saving Ranne from Skinner's clutches. Many hijinks follow.

Its all rather corny but sweet in an early 1970s way. Simpler fun in simpler times. Much nostalgia for school trips will be generated if you are of a certain age, even if they didn't involve an elephant.