Showing posts with label Kung Fu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kung Fu. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Master Ninja I (1984)

The Master was a ninja themed TV series from 1984, two episodes were used to create this feature length film, two more episodes were used to create the imaginatively named Master Ninja II.

The Master McAllister (Lee Van Cleef) is an American veteran who now possesses the mysterious skills of the Ninja. Along with his young friend Max (Timothy Van Platten) they aim to help out those in need. In the first episode... half of the film they help out the owner of a small airfield and his daughter (Demi Moore) against a scheming land developer and the local police who are in his pocket...

As this film is based on the first episodes of the series we do get some back story for McAllister and Max and also see Max begin his ninja training. The action is quite generic for 1980s US TV series, with the usual budget to match so doesn't amount to much. Lee Van Cleef was a little too old and creaking to play a convincing ninja but the film isn't without it's good bits. It is a fairly passable film though but you can see why the TV series did not last that long.

Friday, October 20, 2023

The Instructor (1981)

The unexpectedly competitive world of small town Ohio karate schools.

The Instructor (Bob Chaney) owns a karate school and is training with Thumper (Don Bendell), after encountering and beating up some local punks (who all look north of forty), they then encounter a wannabe ninja who has a somewhat unhealthy interest in fighting children...

The Instructor's rival is Bud Hart (Bob Saal), who of course tries to get the mob to smash up The Instructor's place though the thugs are thwarted by Dee (Lynday Schnarott). Later on Thumper is found near death, The Instructor assumes it is Hart (it is actually the paedo-ninja) and heads off for a final showdown (well after a lengthy car chase)...

This is quite an awful film, low budget, incoherent and rough. It is also hilarious and highly watchable and enjoyable. Great films can be technically poor but tremendous fun and this is one like that.

Wednesday, October 18, 2023

Martial Law II: Undercover (1991)

The karate cops are back, fighting crime with martial arts and huge shoulder pads.


After his friend and fellow cop dies mysteriously, Detective Thompson (Jeff Wincott) begins to investigate a criminal group based in a bar (which he quickly gets thrown out of). Fellow martial arts expert and cop Blake (Cynthia Rothrock) gets a job at the club as a bar maid. She discovers that the owner Spencer (Paul Johansson) is using sexual blackmail and deadly martial arts to enrich himself. Spencer also has police on his payroll and is about to steal a huge amount of money from under the noses of the police...

This is a fun film though very much of it's time. It is violent and cheesy and most people should have been arrested by the fashion police. Like the first film it isn't high art and doesn't have much of a plot but it is a perfectly enjoyable action film.

Friday, July 28, 2023

Slaughter in San Francisco (1974)

Heavy on the martial arts, even heavier on the hilariously bad dubbing.

Officer Wong (Don Wong) is a police officer in SF. He and his partner (Robert Jones) begin to encounter some strange occurrences at the police station, people mysteriously let off for crimes and others arrested even though they are probably innocent. 

After his partner is killed, Wong is off the force but investigating for himself. He discovers a web of corruption on the force, at it's head is gangland boss Chuck Slaughter (Chuck Norris)...

Despite being at first glance a rather rough around the edges (though highly enjoyable) martial arts film, there is some interesting storyline here with the corruption angle. The filming is pretty shabby though and the soundtrack completely dubbed (and awful). The fights though (and let's face it, thats why you are watching this) are brilliant. Somehow its a great film. Although Chuck Norris is billed as the main star this is really Don Wong's film, and he is very good indeed.

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Cold-Blooded Murder (1981)

A violent and rather confusing, though thrilling, crime and martial arts film.


A maniac (Michael Chan), who we learn in flashback saw his baby son die due to his wife cheating with a gangster, begins killing prostitutes in a number of horrific ways. The Inspector (Carter Huang) has been tasked to catch the attacker but is coming under increasing pressure as the body count rises and his investigations turn up blank. One of his men (Bruce Le) is also in a personal war with gangster Lau Dan who brings in the buff Bolo Leung to help him out...

Actual policework seems quite hard to find though, apart from using policewoman Lam Hoi-Ling as a hapless decoy. There is a lot of fighting and violence instead, a hell of a lot. This is an enjoyable film if you like kung fu, in fact a very good action film. Though if you like a coherent plot, and characters who don't do bizarre things for no apparent reason, then maybe this isn't your night. 

The film's main problem is the two unconnected plots, the gangster plot seems to be here just so the film can have it's Bruceploitation fix, it does detract from the more interesting crime plot which would have benefited from more screen time. The film is still a great watch, even if it should have been two films...

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Ninja Strike Force (1988)

Another Godfrey Ho cut and paste martial arts film mixing an older Asian film with new ninja footage. 

Gordon (Richard Harrison) is a ninja who discovers that his master (Edowan Bersma) owns an ancient sword which bestows great power. However, that doesn't stop the evil Black Ninja from killing the master and taking the sword! Gordon vows to avenge his master, first though he must warn the leader of the five ninja clans and warn them not to be killed by the Black Ninja else he will become unstoppable...

Meanwhile we also have a rather tedious older Taiwanese film starring Eagle Lee which has been added to pad the film out, clever editing giving the veneer of the characters of the two films interacting. 

Unfortunately while some of the films of this type like Ninja Terminator actually end up being pretty good, Ninja Strike Force doesn't really work. The ninjas having headbands which have "ninja" written on them really doesn't scream quality and the older film is a bit boring. The modern ninja fighting footage is campy but fun making the film watchable but not much more.

Tuesday, July 11, 2023

Devil Dynamite (1987)

A very very strange film. Imagine the strangest film you have ever seen, multiply that strangeness by a million. This is twice as strange.

Steven Cox (Tseung Ha) is a gambler who was sent to prison for ten years because of crime boss Mary (Angela Mao). Now back out of prison he wants revenge. Police officer Alex (Ling Yun) is also after Mary but he has a secret, he turns into a kind of super hero with a silver painted helmet and an outfit made out of tin foil! Mary employs the help of an evil Taoist priest to provide an army of Chinese zombies. There are also some ninjas who get involved in various fights and a child who can vanish...

This makes no sense what so over, but when you realise this is a Godfrey Ho project which mashes up a number of earlier films you can quite understand why this is as characters who are supposedly working together are actually from completely different films!

The story is quite simply bizarre and confusing but the fights between Alex, the zombies and ninjas (which occur a number of times) are actually quite good in a completely over the top cosmic kung fu sense.

Wednesday, June 7, 2023

The Thundering Ninja (1987)

Incredible martial arts nonsense as the CIA take on a ninja crime organisation.



Plans for a ballistic missile are wanted by the ninjas (quite why is unknown) led by Pedro Ernyes. However, despite ambushing some suits, the ninjas are still to get their hands on the plans. CIA agent, and ninja, Sydney (Stuart Smith) employs his investigator (Wang Yin) to find out who is behind the ninja's plans. The investigator's son (Jimmy Wang) is part of the ninja's support gang and gets into many fights. Finally, Sydney foils the ninja plans to get the plans and prepares for a showdown with the boss...

This film is one of those 1980s ninja epics which employed much footage from another, earlier, film to pad it out. The scenes with Jimmy Wang and Wang Yin comes from the 1970s Taiwanese film The Criminal. The footage is heavily doctored and re-dubbed to try and fit in with the ninja plot. It doesn't quite work though as in all of these mash-ups as the actors from the two films of course never meet (though they do "speak" over the telephone!)

This is a fun film though, completely crazy. The ninja action is incredibly over the top, just as it should be. It shouldn't work, but somehow it does.

Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Bruce, Kung Fu Girls (1975)

Somewhat awful and fairly exploitative kung fu action.

Five young girls including Polly Kwan are training in the martial arts. They chance upon a young man being chased by thugs and save him from a beating, the girls doing the fighting in their bikinis (natch). The man says he has developed a new secret formula which the thugs want to make money out of. The girls are sent by their uncle to help the police in HK with a series of crimes. Much bad kung fu action ensues.

This is not a film to be taken seriously, the action is frequent and goes on a bit too long and not that well executed either with fists and kicks frequently missing their targets though are sold like crazy. There is also a lot of whimsical humour and nonsense. Not high art but it does it's job of passing a bit of time especially if you like pretty young women in hot pants doing high kicks.

Despite the title Bruce Lee (not even Bruce Le) is involved in this film in any shape or form!

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

The Street Fighter (1974)

One of the most violent films ever made, a brutal martial arts epic.

Terry (Shin'ichi Chiba) is a master of karate and kung fu who trades his skills for evil. He is hired to kidnap the daughter (Yutaka Nakajima) of a business man by the yakuza and mafia in order to secure a lucrative oil deal. However, when the mobsters refuse his price they try and kill him. Terry instead switches sides to protect the daughter after all...

And much bloody violence ensues. The film goes out of it's way to portray the savagery of the violence including in one scene where we switch to an x-ray view to see how Terry's fist caves in his victim's skull! 

The story is rather simple but also confusing in the best tradition of 1970s martial arts film and of course ends with a final showdown. Exhilarating and also with some heart with Terry's rocky but ultimately doomed friendship with Goichi Yamada quite touching.

Thursday, April 13, 2023

The Rage of Wind (1973)

Crazy wild kung fu action, not a huge lot of story though!

The Japanese (evil of course) have invaded China (this is set in the late 1930s). Taka (Yasuaki Kurata) has put the Chinese fishermen under harsh new fish taxes and his henchmen are beating up anyone who protests. Meanwhile, top Chinese boxer Chan (Sing Chen) and his American wife Lin (Irene Ryder) have returned from the US. After killing a man in the ring he has vowed to never use his fists for violence again...

That immediately becomes a problem as Chan is immediately hurled into the fight between the Chinese and Japanese. Eventually he is forced to fight and everything is set up for the inevitable showdown with Taka on the beach to the death...

So, a basic kung fu tale. Any vague story is just a handy framework for a series of fights. These are pretty good fights too, especially the final showdown. A good example of the genre.

Friday, March 10, 2023

Edge of Fury (1978)

Complicated kung fu action in flares.

Fang (Bruce Li) is the chauffeur for a rich man who ends up being arrested for drug offences in Thailand and eventually executed. Fang, who seems pretty naive at times, ends up tangling with his boss' young wife Mrs Chen (Dana Tsen) who seems more interested in inheriting her executed husband's money more than anything. He also finds himself under attack by his boss' main man King (Yasuaki Kurata) who is trying to find the opium cache of his boss...

This is quite complicated for a HK action film, using flashbacks to fill in Fang's back story and why he is loyal to his boss. We also find out why King is keen to stop Fang. The action scenes are good (if not out of the ordinary), though sometimes the gap between them drags a bit. 

This isn't a great HK film though is a reasonable watch. The most fun thing about this film is the fashions. Kung fu in flares is great!

Friday, February 10, 2023

Mission of Justice (1992)

This film is basically one long martial arts fight punctuated by little bits of plot. As the fighting is of pretty decent quality (and very violent) then this isn't that bad a thing.

Kurt (Jeff Wincott) is a disillusioned police officer who quits due to the odds stacked against the force. Mayoral candidate Dr Larkin (Brigitte Nielsen) also seems to agree with him, as she has recruited her own vigilante force to help the police. Kurt joins this force though because he is suspicious of Larkin and her actions and thinks she is behind the death of his friend and mentor Williams (Tony Burton).

Kurt discovers that behind Dr Larkin's public image is a dark world of ultra violence, torture and corruption. Dr Larkin will stop at nothing to achieve her aims, especially murder.

This is a great fun film with some amazing action set pieces. The plot is so-so but good enough to serve a film of this type. 

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Master Ninja II (1984)

The Master was an American TV show about an old ninja, it didn't run for very long but some of the episodes were put together to create TV movies.

So, this is basically episode 3 and 4 of the TV series. No attempt is made to make the join between the two episodes seamless by the way, which is quite funny. Lee Van Cleef plays McAllister, an Army veteran who became the only gaijin ninja master in Japan. However, he is now in the US with his young apprentice Max (Timothy Van Patten) looking for McAllister's daughter, trying to avoid being killed by other ninjas, and fighting injustice (of course!)

In the first story, McAllister and Max help Carrie (Crystal Bernard) with her fight against a corrupt company boss, who was involved in her brother's death. The second story involves terrorists and secret agents and includes guest appearances from George Lazenby (who wears a tuxedo throughout of course) and David McCallum.

Watching this you can see why this only lasted for thirteen episodes on TV. Van Cleef isn't a very convincing ninja master if we are going to be honest. The story is often quite generic 1980s US TV action show but is fun enough if not taken very seriously.

Thursday, December 15, 2022

Robo Vampire (1988)

What on Earth is going on here, it seems like at least three films all spliced together. Well it is by Godfrey Ho...

Thai drug lords have a highly effective though also unusual weapon in their armoury: Chinese hopping vampires! Meanwhile, anti-drug agent Tom is killed in action, but then bought back to life in a knock-off RoboCop-like manner in a highly scientific operation carried out in a battered looking spare room at the police station. This version of the robot policeman however, looks rather laughable with his silver padded jacket and helmet. He battles the vampires, and the drug barons' hoods. Meanwhile, a female agent is captured by the drug lords...

This film makes no sense whatsoever! Godfrey Ho spliced together a Thai action movie with new footage (1984's Paa Lohgan to be precise) with some new footage of the Not-Robocop fighting hopping vampires. The result is incredibly incoherent but the film is undoubtably entertaining and frequently unintentionally hilarious with it's endless but also senseless action scenes. 

This film is pretty amazing, for most of it you won't really believe your eyes and maybe you will wonder if someone spiked your drink. Just be glad a film like this exists.

Thursday, December 8, 2022

Martial Law (1991)

This low-budget direct to video and somewhat cheesy martial arts crime movie could have been terrible but luckily/somehow it isn't...

The dangerous Rhodes (David Carradine) is a crime boss involved in gun smuggling and sports car theft, he is also a master of martial arts. So, who best to investigate him then than two cops who are also martial arts masters in the form of Sean (Chad McQueen) and Billie (Cynthia Rothrock)? However, Sean's younger brother Michael (Andy McCutcheon) has been dragged into a life of crime and comes under the wing of Rhodes...

So, you kind of know what this film is going to be like. A series of action set pieces held together by a serviceable though pretty flimsy and unoriginal plot. However, the action set pieces are in fact pretty good with plenty of violence and well planned fighting scenes. 

Much of the rest of the film is of variable quality but the sometimes unintentionally hilarious acting and storyline makes the film very entertaining indeed.

Tuesday, July 26, 2022

Kill or Be Killed (1976)

Quite possibly the most confusing and random film ever made.

A Nazi, Baron von Rudloff (Norman Coombes) was humiliated before his beloved Führer during the war when his German team of karate masters were defeated by the Japanese team of Miyagi (Raymond Ho-Tong). Now several decades on von Rudloff has built a castle in the South African desert (which looks like he built it out of styrofoam) and a private army. Now he wants to hold a rematch of the karate contest...

He bribes Miyagi to bring a new team of the best karate masters (none of which are from Japan weirdly) while von Rudloff's henchman Chico (Danie du Plessis) recruits other best karate masters for the Nazi's new team. One chosen is Steve (James Ryan) but he doesn't want much to do with von Rudloff's crazy plan and makes off. Unfortunately Steve's girlfriend Olga (Charlotte Michelle) is kidnapped forcing Steve to take part in the bizarre karate contest...

A very strange film full of random plot tangents and just sheer weirdness. This film definitely feels like one where filming in some scenes began with a half-written script (or even none at all). Some of the fighting scenes are not that bad at all and the film is, of course, unintentionally hilarious. And just so so odd.

Monday, July 11, 2022

Bruce Lee : Martial Arts Master (1994)

An interesting if limited biopic of Bruce Lee, this one concentrating more on his movie career.

The film tells the story of Bruce, moving to the US after a troublesome upbringing in HK. Soon he was making waves with his brand of kung fu and coming to the attention of Hollywood. Bruce's first forays on screen were in TV series like the Green Hornet but when he returned to HK his film career took up in a short but incredibly bright career...

Talking heads such as James Coburn, Jackie Chan and Bolo Yeung share anecdotes and memories of working with Bruce. Plenty of classic clips from his films (though not his TV shows) are fitted in throughout. This is a decent documentary however, if you are a fan of Bruce it really won't tell you anything new.

Tuesday, February 22, 2022

Kickboxing Academy (1999)

An unbelievable film, at times so bad you wonder if its some kind of elaborate joke being played on you?

Two martial arts academies are in conflict. The deranged Tarbeck (Tony Pacheco), with his military themed evil academy, is ranged against June (Donna Barnes) and her kickboxing academy. With the help of the money man Maddox (Tom Scalise), Tarbeck aims to take over June's academy after they defeat them in a contest...

June needs her best fighter back, but Danny (Christopher Khayman Lee) doesn't want to fight anymore. Can his new squeeze, and also a kickboxer, Cindy (Chyler Leigh) persuade him? When you see them snog bear in mind that they are a real life brother and sister...

This is a really really strange film. Characters are random, many barely one dimensional. The plot is also random and makes little sense (an unexplained ninja attack in a restaurant car park, really?) It is superbly weird and highly entertaining, somehow. 

Tuesday, November 9, 2021

Lovely but Deadly (1981)

A truly terrible but oddly compelling and highly entertaining movie. Lovely (Lucinda Dooling) is a high school girl, who is wondering who supplied the drugs which killed her brother. 

This isn't that easy a task though as drug pushing is rampant at the school, and gangs of thugs roam the corridors in fencing outfits (really). Luckily for Lovely, she has some great karate skills and a plan. 

She infiltrates the cool group led by Mantis (Rick Moser) and this gets her introduced to creepy old guy Honest Charley (Richard Herd), who owns a chain of discount scores, and when he isn't trying to score with teen chicks he is drug running...

Now a prisoner of Honest Charley and his goons, Lovely discovers to her horror that her dopey boyfriend Javelin (Mark Holden) - part-time wannabe rock star / part-time teen shipping magnate - is heavily involved in the drug trade. The scene is set for a ridiculous showdown at the docks...

This is a crazy film, full of bad fights, pointless scenes and random weirdness. It is incredibly sloppily made as well. Spotting the boom mikes would probably be a great drinking game but you'll probably end up paralytic well before the end. All wonderful stuff and a fun film of course. Dooling is terrific in her role.