Guns (1990)

A brash action drama involving many women in skimpy outfits with big busts and bigger guns.

Crime boss Jack of Diamonds (Erik Estrada) orders a hit on DEA agent Donna (Dona Speir), though a mix-up by the assassins who were in drag (honestly!) results in another woman being killed. Donna discovers that the crime boss is the man who killed her father, and he has also kidnapped her mother so there is plenty at stake...

This film is by Andy Sidaris and so you know it will be an action romp which makes little sense. We have the drag queen assassins as mentioned earlier, an interrogator who does magic tricks while interviewing captured gang members and even an attack by ninjas! The film is tremendous fun and highly enjoyable.

Day of the Warrior (1996)

Big chests and bigger guns, all you need to know is that the director Andy Sidaris was a genius.

Crime boss and former CIA agent The Warrior (Buff Bagwell) has broken into the secret service database thanks to his inside man. He is using this information to put agents at risk of being discovered while they try and infiltrate the Warrior's crime empire. Can our heroes and heroines led by Willow Black (Julie Strain) save the day?

Of course they can! What follows is a flimsily plotted, often very strange and also violent film where most of the cast do not like to wear much in the way of clothing. 

It is completely wonderful, a highly enjoyable film and a complete romp. Some might say this is so bad it is good, i say it is it's own strange and special kind of genius and completely excellent.

Enemy Gold (1993)

While not the best entry in the Sidaris-verse this is a solid and highly enjoyable boobs and guns romp.

Three federal agents anger crime boss Santiago (Rodrigo Obregón) so much that he calls in hitwoman Jewel Panther (Julie Strain) to deal with them. The agents meanwhile are on a trip into the woods and discover a cache of buried Confederate gold from the American Civil War. This of course adds another dimension to the showdown...

Although part of Andy Sidaris' series of films, it does stand alone to an extent as some of the actors play different roles to how they are in other instalments. 

This is a decent film, not quite as good as some other films in the series but still great fun. Former Playboy models and various hunks show off their cleavage and pecs and fire lots of guns. The plot is sketchy but does it's job.

Malibu Express (1985)

A private detective who drives a Delorean and is accompanied by a country music soundtrack, well that is certainly different, but is it any good?

Private detective Cody (Darby Hilton) is tasked to discover who is helping the Russians steal advanced computer technology from a Silicon Valley firm. He does this by infiltrating the home of Lady Chamberlain (Niki Dantine) who has filled her home with oddballs and stereotypes. A complicated and rather meandering plot ensues...

Unfortunately, the plot is a bit incomprehensible at times as more focus is shown on muscular torsos and cleavage in bikinis than explaining what is going on. However, the film is light hearted and doesn't take itself seriously at all and an amiable watch though ultimately inessential. The 1980s technology shown throughout does add a great nostalgic air to proceedings.

Savage Beach (1989)

A sometimes cheesy but highly enjoyable tits and guns romp on a Pacific island paradise.

Two DEA agents, Donna (Dona Spier) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) - who apparently have to always wear skimpy outfits - are marooned on a remote Pacific island after technical failure of their aircraft. They are alone on the aircraft... apart from a Japanese soldier (Michael Mikasa) who was left behind to guard stolen gold from the Philippines.

By coincidence the US Navy and a gang of thugs are also after the gold and land on the island after discovering where the gold is using some funky 1980s computers. Lets see who gets the gold in an extended action set piece...

Not high art for sure but an enjoyable film. The actresses in the film were former Playboy models, and on the whole they do a decent enough of acting, as well as showing plenty of cleavage. Very over the top, frequently ridiculous and not to be taken seriously. Great fun!

Black Cobra (1987)

Violent nonsense as the loner cop fights a violent motorbike gang in a 1980s post-industrial wasteland. So, pretty original then.

A brutal gang led by Bruno Bilotta is killing and raping people at random. They next attack photographer Elys (Eva Grimaldi) whom the gang think has taken photographs of them. The police call upon maverick cop Malone (Fred Williamson) to protect Elys from the thugs who are out to kill her no matter the cost...

This is a pretty generic late 1980s low budget violent film, the sort of film that used to fill video rental shop shelves by the dozens. It isn't that bad a film really, but you will have seen it all before and usually a lot better. 

It is what it is, plenty of violence and late 1980s post-industrial grime.

X-15 (1961)

A somewhat dry early Space Race drama but greatly enlivened by some incredible aerial footage.

The race into space is on, in the US NASA and the US Air Force are racing against time to get into the edge of space with their North American X-15 rocketplane though the progress is often marred by accidents, some deadly...

The film starts off in semi-documentary style (narrated by James Stewart no less!) However, it quickly switches into a fairly pedestrian drama but only skin deep, we don't really get to find much out about the men behind the machines apart from some fairly cardboard characterisation. 

The aerial footage is superb though, and properly supplied by the relevant authorities so not a jarring mix of barely relevant stock footage but X-15s, B-52s and other hot jets. It stars David Lean and Charles Bronson in one of his early film roles.

Killpoint (1984)

Lots of violence though not a lot of plot, but this isn't that unusual for a low-budget 1980s action movie.

Nighthawk (Stack Pierce) under the orders of the somewhat deranged Marx (Cameron Mitchell) steals a lot of firepower from the state National Guard armoury. These guns are then sold to local gangs who go on bloody murder sprees and robberies. 

Federal agent Bryant (Richard Rountree) is tasked with bringing the gun runner to justice (though considering the body count there doesn't seem a great deal of urgency from the authorities). He is helped by Detective Long (Leo Fong) who is still mourning the rape and murder of his wife. Crimes which the gun runners and the gangs were involved with...

There isn't a lot of plot, what plot the film has is mostly there as a flimsy skeleton to hang the frequent violent action set-pieces off. Oh and there is a lot of violence in this film, guns and martial arts and murder. The film is rather shoddily made and hard to follow at times but for what it is, its fine, even pretty good. Just not very subtle.

African Story (1971)

A cool if somewhat strange early 1970s drama.

Producer Arnold Tiller (Stephen Boyd) dislikes his hot pop star Rex Maynard (Michael Kirner), especially when Rex elopes with his daughter (Sue Kiel) to South Africa. 

Arnold has other problems though, as the mob are blackmailing him. Rex has to deal with a fake kidnapping and then a real one...

A rather odd film and not without plenty of flaws including some rather obvious dubbing at times, however it does look good and has plenty of charm and style, the character of Rex in particular is fun. The film also has an unexpected and slightly unusual ending.

Disaster at Silo 7 (1988)

An accident at a nuclear missile silo poses a real risk of the missile exploding, with a rather large nuclear warhead on top.

The accident occurs during refuelling of a Titan II missile causing a fuel spill. Team leader Sergeant Fitzgerald (Michael O'Keefe) is called in and immediately realises the risk of the fuel igniting and blowing the while thing up. He tells his wife (Patricia Charbonneau) to get out of town fast with his family, then heads back into the silo...

This is an enjoyable TV movie, it does fall back on TV movie tropes a bit but the action is solid, if stretches the budget a bit thinly at times. The film is based on a real incident that occurred in 1980, and it pretty accurate too so don't read up on the Damascus Titan explosion before you have seen this movie unless you don't mind spoilers!

The Sea Lion (1921)

Hard bitten old sea dog yarn, that handles the nautical scenes pretty well.

The captain (Hobart Bosworth) is a bitter old sea dog, who hasn't gotten over his wife and child leaving him while he was at sea many years before. On his next voyage he has a new seaman Tom (Emory Johnson), a fresh faced novice who soon becomes the butt of all of the crew's jokes. However, the voyage runs into trouble with a near mutiny. Then the ship arrives at a remote island where the survivors of an old ship wreck live.

One of the survivors is a young girl, Blossom (Bessie Love) who falls in love with Tom, which causes conflict with the captain. Though there is a bit surprise in store here...

A decent enough film though sometimes hard to follow, this isn't helped by the flashbacks which sometimes contradict each other! The scenes at sea are pretty well done.

The Great Air Mystery (Serial) (1935)

A superb follow-up serial continuing the adventures of daredevil aviator Tailspin Tommy.

Tommy (Clarke Williams) and Skeeter (Noah Beery Jr) head to Nazil in Latin America to help Betty Lou (Jean Rogers) and Inez Casmetto (Delphine Drew) with the setting up of infrastructure for oil extraction in country. 

However, Inez's father Manuel (Herbert Heywood) and Raymore (Matthew Betz) are two unscrupulous businessmen who want that oil wealth for themselves and concoct a series of schemes to stop Tommy and Skeeter with the help of his rogue squadron of fighters. Luckily, a mysterious aviator in a condor painted plane is often on hand to help Tommy out.

This is a great serial with a lot of amazing aerial stunts (including a crashing airship in episode 1). The serial is based on a comic strip (indeed the original Tailspin Tommy serial from 1934 was the first serial to be based on a comic strip. 

The Spider Returns (Serial) (1941)

The second serial involving the rather bizarre character, The Spider. 

The Spider is the secret crime fighting identity of socialite Richard Wentworth (Warren Hull), doesn't sound like Batman at all! In this serial, Richard/The Spider battles the mysterious (and ridiculous) Gargoyle who had launched a wave of attacks on the US war effort (naturally as we are early in the Second World War). 

This is a perfectly decent serial, including plenty of cliff hangers and fast action, though the Spider fight scenes are a bit ridiculous. The Gargoyle's henchmen are pretty useless if we are going to be honest which does rob the serial of some of the peril.

The Castle of Fu Manchu (1969)

The last of five Fu Manchu films starring Christopher Lee in the 1960s, but really a step too far.

Evil Fu Manchu (Lee) has forced a scientist to develop a new fiendish machine which can freeze water en masse, he demonstrates it by freezing the seas around an ocean liner (and definitely not re-using footage from a Titanic movie...) Of course, Fu Manchu wants a lot of cash from the world government in return for not using his new weapon.

The British send their top agent Nayland Smith (Richard Greene) to stop Manchu, who is holed up in a Turkish castle he has stolen...

By now the Fu Manchu series was a bit tired and bereft of ideas, Christopher Lee and Tsai Chin (Fu Manchu's daughter) are always a good turn and very watchable but everything else is rather cheap and dreary. The film is also padded out with irrelevant scenes which drag the story down. Campy and schlocky, which is fun at times, but overall that isn't quite enough.

On the Threshold of Space (1956)

An interesting, though fairly dry, look at the very beginnings of the US effort to put a man into space.

Before you put a man into space you have to work out a way to get him back alive. That is the job of Captain Hollenbeck (Guy Madison) who works for the USAF. Firstly, he is working on a way to get men to eject from the latest ever-faster jet fighters and survive. This isn't the easiest thing in the world but Hollenbeck manages to find a way amid quite a few injuries.

However, there is more to come. A rocket sled to push humans above 1000mph and then the most dangerous of all, a balloon that takes a man to the very edge of space. To the horror of his new wife Pat (Virginia Leith), Hollenbeck volunteers for this mission himself...

Based on the real events, then contemporary to this film which at times is in a semi-documentary style. Unfortunately it can be a bit dry and too restrained at times but the actual experiments give you all the drama and action you could hope for. A fascinating look at the very early, and maybe largely forgotten, part of the space race.

Meteorites! (1998)

A somewhat tedious TV movie about meteorites which decide to bombard the same small American town.

Tom (Tom Wopat) is a retired bomb disposal officer (and as this is a TV movie of course he has demons in his past) who is called upon to investigate a series of unexplained house explosions. 

The mayor (Marshall Napier) is not interested in this though as the town is holding a UFO festival, it's big money spinner and the mayor needs the cash after some dodgy business loans. Tom discovers that the explosions are not due to gas leaks but from something from above. In fact a meteorite storm is targeting the town...

So, the science makes no sense whatsoever, and the film wastes too much time on side plots and irrelevance. Overall, this is a fairly insipid watch.

Maximum Revenge (1998)

A low-budget violent film with a ridiculous premise, of course it is brilliant.

Maverick cop Mace (Paul Michael Robinson) saves a plane load of passengers from some hijackers but is rewarded by being out in jail! A year later he and a handful of other prisoners are transferred to a brand new nick, unfortunately one which criminals led by Murdoch (John Lazar) have infiltrated and want to detonate an atomic bomb in so America nukes the Middle East (or something). Why they decide to go to all the trouble of putting the bomb inside a prison and not just an abandoned warehouse is never explained.

Things start to go wrong of course, Mace begins a fight back against Murdoch with the help of TV reporter (Landon Hall) and his fellow criminals, luckily one of whom knows how to defuse an atomic bomb...

None of the film makes sense, the thin plot is stretched with various action set pieces. Its cheap and a bit repetitive at times though the cheese factor is high, the cliche factor is also set to warp factor 9. Complete trashy nonsense, i loved it naturally.

Double Dragon (1994)

In a bizarre future world people fight over an ancient Chinese talisman which can turn the holder into a two dimensional shadow.

It is 2007 and the remnants of LA are mostly underwater following a massive earthquake, crime rules the streets which remain with various strange factions largely cosplaying The Warriors. Brothers Jimmy (Mark Dacascos) and Billy (Scott Wolf) fight to stop crime boss Koga Shuko (Robert Patrick) getting both halves of a Chinese talisman. He only has one half and can already turn into a strange shadow person, who knows what he could do with total power? 

A long battle across LA rages with various strange and quite amusing action set pieces including a speedboat chase! The brothers are helped by gang leader Marian (Alyssa Milano) in their efforts against Koga and his collection of freaks i mean henchmen...

It shouldn't really work but this is actually a pretty good film, somehow. It is very cheesy, rather strange and makes little sense but the action is pretty good with some good sets even if it does look very much like people in the early 1990s imagined the 2000s would look.

Bloodlust! (1961)

A group of young people are hunted by a mad rich man on his private island. This may give some folks some ideas.

The teenagers (including June Kenney and Robert Reed) who are holidaying in a boat discover an island they think is deserted. Unfortunately, they soon discover the island is owned by the somewhat sinister Dr Balleau (Wilton Graff). 

To the teenagers' horror they discover that anyone who lands on Balleau's island becomes his prey, he hunts them down and then turns them into macabre trophies... 

This is a rather poor and tedious rip-off of the Most Dangerous Game (which isn't that brilliant either though leagues above this nonsense), it lacks much in the way of decent thrills or action. Nothing really makes any sense and the tiny budget doesn't really stretch to much.

Ator the Invincible (1983)

The second Ator movie, somehow even cheaper and shoddier than the first.

Ator (Miles O'Keefe) is living an easy life after his earlier exploits (which are recapped at length early in the film to pad it out), he is recruited by Mila (Lisa Foster) to help save her father (William Berger) from the evil Zor (David Brandon). The way to the castle of Zor is long (somewhat too long) and includes various battles against ridiculous creatures and monsters...

The first Ator film wasn't that great but it was much better than this nonsense. It is all a bit too cheap and lacks much of a plot, lots of swords and sorcery yes but what does it all mean at the end of the day apart from plenty of muscles and grunting?