Meet the Hollowheads (1989)

A very strange sci-fi comedy, incredibly 1980s looking.

We are in a very strange future where a Jetsons like family live in a world of pipes, strange gadgets and mysterious punishments for misbehaving. Henry (John Glover) is trying to impress his boss to get promotion, at home though Miriam (Nancy Mette) is trying to control their unruly children including Cindy (Juliette Lewis) preparing for a rave party. Brother Bud (Lightfield Lewis) is practicing his music instrument which seems to also be a kind of mutated chicken.

Cindy is later bought home by the police after being caught intoxicated by softening cream. Henry's boss (Richard Portnow) comes for dinner, but he isn't there to be buttered up by Henry, rather he is interested in sexually harassing Miriam...

Honestly this is more like a fevered dream than a film, and has a real late 80s music video look and feel. Of course it doesn't make sense, but it isn't really supposed to. Incredibly imaginative though maybe sometimes you can take it a little too far. Certainly memorable even if it does become a bit tough going at times.

Murder in the Private Car (1934)

A highly entertaining crime drama that turns into a thrilling runaway train caper.

Ruth (Mary Carlisle) is working as a telephone switchboard operator, she doesn't know much about her past. But then she discovered she is the long lost daughter of a rich railway owner. This puts a big target on her back but an attempt to kidnap her is foiled by the slightly strange Scott (Charles Ruggles) who turns out to be a kind of a private detective.

Ruth and party head off on a train to meet her father, Scott also tags along. After a few escapades including a murder and an escaped gorilla, the private railway car they are all in is set free - packed with explosives - to kill everyone...

This is a fun film that proceeds at a fast pace (like a runaway railway car). The story is also very varied, the humour can be a bit goofy at times but it does not spoil anything. A highly enjoyable film.

I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957)

A troubled teenager is hypnotised into becoming a hairy beast.

Tony (Michael Landon) is always getting into fights and treating his girl (Yvonne Lime) badly. Finally, he agrees to let the psychologist Dr Brandon (Whit Bissell) hypnotise him to help cure his troubled mind...

Unfortunately, Brandon is using Tony for his illegal experiments in human regression. He causes Tony to regress to becoming a werewolf and goes on the rampage...

Low budget teen horror nonsense of course but this film was very influential to the genre, leading to many copycats. With it's mix of teen delinquency, rock and roll and horror scenes it is cheap but undeniably entertaining. Michael Landon plays a good role.

Philo Vance Returns (1947)

Philo Vance is called in to discover who killed a playboy, unfortunately there are many potential suspects!

Larry (Damien O'Flynn) is shocked when his fiancé radio singer Virginia (Ramsay Ames) is shot dead, though he doesn't have long to mourn as he shot himself a few minutes later! Larry has had time to call his friend Philo Vance (William Wright) who begins to investigate on behalf of Larry's grandmother Stella (Clara Blandick). 

Vance is assisted by Karnoff (Leon Belasco) who was Virginia's manager. Larry had a number of ex-s all of whom have a motive as they would be beneficiaries in his will. Vance and Karnoff continue with their complicated investigation, however maybe the actual culprit is a lot closer to home...

This is an excellent Philo Vance film, a good crime plot with plenty of red herrings and twists and turns. Although the film does not have much you will not have seen before it is all very competently done.

The Bamboo Saucer (1968)

Although low budget, a surprisingly interesting "flying saucer" science fiction film.

Test pilot Fred (John Ericson) is in the dog house when he nearly crashes a new fighter after encountering a UFO. However, when word of a crashed UFO in Red China reaches the US, Fred finds himself back in the good books and he is recruited for a secret mission to infiltrate China and retrieve the UFO before the Chinese do. 

In China, the mission led by Hank (Dan Duryea) soon bump into a Soviet team with the same mission! The US and Soviet teams form an uneasy alliance and reach the UFO. Fred and Soviet agent Anna (Lois Nettleton) warm the Cold War up a bit, meanwhile the Chinese troops are closing in...

Don't expect great special effects, and "China" looks suspiciously like the same Californian hills as hundreds of other films but this does have a very interesting premise. The action is a bit slow to get going but the final act makes up for it. 

The Telephone Exchange (1982)

A wonderful educational film (made by British Telecommunications) showing how telephone exchanges work and how they connect one telephone to another when you make a call. From the earliest mechanical switches to the latest (well in 1982 anyway) microchip technology. The film does a good job at explaining the basics at how these systems work and why they are needed.

It reminds me when my Dad took me to his work at a telephone exchange in the late 1970s, big rooms full of switches and wires. It's probably all replaced by a single box on the wall now.

Terror is a Man (1959)

Mad scientist creates man-cat, unfortunately the plot and action does not proceed with a feline speed and grace.

William (Richard Derr) is washed up on a remote island in the Pacific after his cargo ship sinks. He is rescued by Dr Girard (Frances Lederer) and his comely wife Frances (Greta Thyssen). Girard is conducting some kind of strange medical experiments on the island, and there is a beast loose which has killed enough natives that they have fled. However, the beast is not a natural creation but a big cat which Girard is trying to turn into a man.

Despite Frances and William's pleas to leave the island, Girard doggedly continues his experiments with the man-cat (Flory Carlos). However, the creature has developed a fascination for Frances (natch) and is also becoming harder and harder to control...

A story based on a HG Wells tale, and is fine enough though lacks much in the way of action. Much of the film is spent waiting around for something to happen, we really only see the man-cat in the final few minutes, though it really isn't worth the wait. One interesting gimmick is the inclusion of an annoying bell in the soundtrack to warn squeamish viewers to look away if something horrid is about to happen.

The Saint's Vacation (1941)

The Saint goes on a romp across Europe (suspiciously un-war torn) in pursuit of a mysterious box.

The Saint (Hugh Sinclair) and Monty (Arthur Macrae) go to Switzerland on holiday, pursued by the reporter Mary (Sally Gray) who is desperate for a story. 

However, his holibobs are soon cut short by the appearance of a strange box which various people including The Saint's arch-enemy Hauser (Cecil Parker). The box, when finally opened, reveals that it holds a music box. The Saint thinks this is the key to a secret code, of great value...

This is a typically fast moving B-movie of the period, played light and fast though unexpectedly dark at times (with a number of pointless deaths and a bit of torture). The film is a reasonable watch though not executed very well at times.

The Horror of Party Beach (1964)

Atomic waste creates mutated monsters which attack annoying teenagers, so not the most original of movies.

It is the 1960s so of course just dumping barrels of radioactive waste in the sea just off beaches where people party is A-OK. Unfortunately one of these barrels springs a leak and creates a bizarre race of blood drinking monsters. The blood is first provided by Tina (Marilyn Clarke) who is having a swim after having a tiff with her boyfriend at a beach party where much rock and roll is played. The attacks soon escalate though including a twenty teen girl slumber party which is wiped out by these monsters.

Luckily Dr Gavin (Allan Laurel) has a solution: sodium! As Hank (John Lyon) heads to NY to buy supplies of sodium, his girlfriend (Alice Lyon) is in peril from the monsters at a quarry...

So, this is fairly generic and low budget. The monsters are ridiculous of course but that adds to the film's camp charm. It is rubbish, but fun rubbish and that makes it very watchable.

The Crime of Helen Stanley (1934)

An enjoyable crime drama featuring an ingenious murder weapon.

Helen Stanley (Gail Patrick) is a top movie actress, though rather haughty with it, and she has plenty of enemies. When she is shot during the filming of a scene in a movie there are plenty of suspects for Inspector Trent (Ralph Ballamy) to work his way through! One prime suspect is Helen's former lover Lee (Kane Richmond) who has now taken up with her sister Betty (Shirley Gray). Another is Helen's ex-husband Wallach (Steven Chase) who confesses to the murder before shooting himself though afterwards he is ruled out.

However, a key problem with the crime is where the shot came from. All pistols on set are eliminated, somehow the shot came from somewhere else...

This is a good crime drama, Inspector Trent featured in a short series of films in the 1930s and was portrayed in a largely humourless and straight-to-business manner, which makes this film stand out from many 1930s crime B-movies! A good and inventive plot.

Electric Dreams (1984)

One of the most 80s films ever, a complete nostalgia fest of 80s pop and 80s computers.

Miles (Lenny von Dohlen) is an architect who is struggling to get anyone to buy into his big idea. He buys a computer to help him with his life. His computer gets ever more wrapped up into his life and begins to overheat, in a panic he pours champagne over the computer... this turns it sentient (of course!)

The computer calls itself Edgar (voiced by Bud Cort) and enters a love triangle with Miles and his neighbour Madeline (Virginia Madsen). When Edgar involves himself too much in Miles' life, Miles tries to turn Edgar off but this proves to be easier said than done...

This is a fun film which makes heavy use of the look and feel of contemporary pop videos (and including some actual MVs too). Its light and fluffy but has plenty of heart. The music is fantastic of course.

The Rink (1916)

Charlie Chaplin is a waiter in a restaurant, though as you can imagine much slapstick mayhem ensues. In his lunch break he goes roller skating in the park. At the park Mr Stout (Eric Campbell) is making advances to an unwilling girl (Edna Purviance). 

After showing off his roller skating skills, Charlie poses as an aristocrat and is invited to a party at the girl's house. Mr Stout and his new partner also show up.

This is a fine enough film, the usual slapstick antics. The film is most notable for showing off Chaplin's excellent roller skating skills.

Shake Hands with Murder (1944)

A joyously fast moving and bright and breezy crime drama.

Patsy (Iris Adrian) and Eddy (Frank Jenks) are bail bonders who take on accused embezzler Steve Morgan (Douglas Fowley). When Steve goes missing Patsy and Eddy go in search of him, when they discover the dead body of one of Steve's colleagues then they wonder if Steve is a murderer as well as an embezzler. 

Patsy ends up with Steve at a distant house, finally convinced of his innocence. Then she and Eddy have to help Steve find the real criminal, which somehow involves a suit of armour...

A fine B-movie, a fast moving plot starring some perky characters. The plot does include a number of well-worn cliches but it is well presented and the film overall is highly entertaining.

Night of the Blood Beast (1958)

A 1950s sci-fi horror shocker featuring an alien in a rubber suit, the biggest shock though is actually how intelligent the plot is.

Astronaut Steve (John Baer) crash lands in his ship (which totally doesn't look made out of cardboard) after the first trip by a man into outer space. He appears to have perished in the crash but when the scientists return him to their isolated lab they discover he is somehow alive in a catatonic state, his body also has been infected by some kind of alien cells. 

Steve is now carrying a number of alien babies, but it is the large alien who also tagged a ride back to Earth that the others really need to worry about. However, the alien offers them a chance for immortality, thats after he killed Dr Wyman (Tyler McVey) in a pretty brutal manner...

This is a low-budget sci-fi horror schlocker, with a ridiculous looking alien of course. However, buried in the plot is some intelligent sci-fi concepts which helps elevate this above the usual nonsense. Its still no more than an average film but certainly worth a watch.

The Sign of Four (1932)

An early Sherlock Holmes talkie. In what is billed as Holmes' greatest case he has to save a young woman from an escaped murderer who is after treasure.

Years before in a prison in the tropics, Small (Graham Soutten) makes a deal with two of the prison officers. He will tell them where his stashed treasure is in return for their help in escaping. The officers Sholto (Miles Malleson) and Morstan (Edgar Norfolk) find the treasure but then Sholto kills Morstan and returns to England keeping all of the loot for himself!

Now in the present, Sholto is living comfortably off the proceeds of the treasure but hears that Small has escaped. Sholto dies of shock when he sees Small, before that he admits his dark secret to his sons and tells them that Morstan has a daughter (Isla Bevan). The sons, being weak willed, tell Small about the daughter who finds herself in peril. She turns to the famous Sherlock Holmes (Arthur Wontner) and Dr Watson (Ian Hunter) for help.

This is a fine film that stays truer to the Arthur Conan Doyle idea of Holmes than some later adaptations being more restrained and thoughtful. Although the early talkie can be a bit hard to follow at times the story is portrayed very well and quite atmospheric. 

Hobgoblins (1988)

A very strange, and rather cheap, science-fiction horror featuring a couple of little furry monsters.

McCreedy (James R Sweeney) is a security guard at a disused studio who has a secret. Years before he encountered a UFO full of furry aliens. Naturally he locked them up in the bank vault which the studio for some reason has. For thirty years he has guarded the aliens in the vault because they have the ability to kill people after they make their fantasies come true. 

McCreedy's young apprentice guard Kevin (Tom Bartlett) accidentally releases the aliens from the vault, now he and McCreedy must recapture them while they unleash havoc on the town including helping Kevin's friends achieve their fantasies which seem to involve being sex sluts or committing murder...

A curious film that doesn't make much sense. The characters are either pretty blank or rather hateful, and the hobgoblins themselves are rather like demonic furbies and the film is pretty low budget. Quite awful but not without a lot of camp value.

The Saint's Girl Friday (1953)

The Saint returns in a rather murky tale of illegal gambling, seedy clubs and revenge.

The Saint Simon Templar (Louis Hayward) returns to England after a call for help from his socialite friend, before he can arrive she has died in a "car accident" (assisted by being chased by hoodlums). 

The Saint knew his friend had a gambling habit and was probably in debt, he begins his investigation then in the underground gambling scene (gambling being illegal in the UK at the time) in 1950s London. His investigation leads him to the brutal River Gang who seem to be behind his friend's death and much more besides...

This is a decent film, rather grubby and hard for a British film of the period. It also is an interesting view of England still recovering from the war. The plot can be a bit slow at times though. See Diana Dors in an early role.

The Revenge of Doctor X (1967)

A bizarre monster movie where a carnivorous mobile plant creature wreaks havoc.

Dr Bragan (James Craig), the angriest NASA scientist ever, goes to Japan to calm down. However, his assistant Noriko (Atsuko Rome) takes him to a weird looking building next to an active volcano where the caretaker plays dark gothic organ and creeps around so i'm not sure how well this helps his mental health. 

Bragan is any case is busy with his new project, cross breeding a Venus fly trap with another strange plant he found in the US after talking to a man with mud all over his face. Bragan creates a new kind of monster with a taste for human blood, obviously it soon it all going wrong...

This is not a good film, it is very shoddily made, very strange and makes little sense (well Ed Wood Jr was one of the writers so what can you expect?) The monster looks ridiculous of course and the film overall is all kinds of cheese.

Alice's Egg Plant (1925)

The Alice series were early Walt Disney live action / animation hybrids. 

Alice (Anne Shirley) and Julius the cat are the owners of an egg factory. Unfortunately, the hens are a bit lazy so Julius has to keep them hard at it. Then a new hen arrives, Little Red Henski from Moscow who is going to try and bring communism to the egg plant!

An unexpectedly political little film, we were only a few years into the Russian Revolution. Whether kids would get it though is a good question.

The House of Fear (1945)

Sherlock Holmes in a rather intriguing case in a dark house up in the Highlands.

A group of friends meet at a house in the Highlands, then one by one they receive a mysterious envelope containing orange pips and then die in a horrific manner which leaves little trace of the body! Sherlock Holmes (Basil Rathbone) and Dr Watson (Nigel Bruce) head to investigate this intriguing case. The case is indeed very baffling, with several suspects though these are whittled down as they become the latest victims!

This is a good film with an excellent twist, though one common fact about all of the murders was a strong indicator about what was really going on (i read a lot of detective novels!) This is a good entry in the Rathbone-Bruce Sherlock Holmes series and a solid Dark House mystery, though Dr Watson's buffoonery is dialled a bit high at times. 

The Maze (1953)

Rather odd but ultimately satisfying horror mystery.

Gerald (Richard Carlson) is engaged to marry Kitty (Veronica Hurst) but he is called to Scotland close to the wedding day to see his uncle in the ancestral home. When Gerald does not return and indeed seems to want to end the marriage plans, Kitty travels to Scotland with her aunt (Katharine Emery). 

Kitty finds that Gerald is a changed man and seems to want her to leave immediately but doesn't really explain why. He definitely doesn't want her to go into the maze in the garden, however strange noises at night and the air of mystery piques Kitty's curiosity. When she finally ventures into the maze she finds a creature beyond imagination lurking in there...

However, this film has a lot of surprises for the viewer. It isn't a mere monster movie out to menace young ladies, indeed the creature has an ultimately tragic story. This helps elevate the film beyond mere creep, though there is plenty of that. A bit slow moving at times but worth it in the end.

Bulldog Jack (1935)

A fast paced and humorous crime romp in the Bulldog Drummond series, even if Drummond himself doesn't appear much in it.

While on his way to London to meet with a mysterious lady, Bulldog Drummond (Atholl Fleming) is injured in a car crash after unscrupulous criminals tamper with his car. He enlists the help of the guy whom he crashed into, Jack (Jack Hulbert), to impersonate him and listen to what the woman who is waiting for Drummond has to say. Jack relishes the chance for some excitement, well until there actually is some excitement then he isn't that keen... 

His adventures, along with Algy (Claude Hulbert), take him into a plot by Morelle (Ralph Richardson) to copy stolen jewels after kidnapping the grandfather of Ann (Fay Wray). After much flapping about and sometimes aimless escapades everyone finds themselves on board a stolen tube train being driven at speed seemingly to it's doom!

It is all played very light, unfortunately this can make the film a bit unbearable at times as it approaches (and roars past) self-parody. However, the film flies along at such a speed that dull or awkward bits do not last very long. A fun fact with this film is that the villain (Richardson) actually plays Bulldog Drummond in the previous year's The Return of Bulldog Drummond! Algy is played by Jack's real-life brother. 

The view of the 1930s London Underground is very interesting, including scenes from the (then) recently closed British Museum station.

Maximum Revenge (1998)

A low-budget violent film with a ridiculous premise, of course it is brilliant.

Maverick cop Mace (Paul Michael Robinson) saves a plane load of passengers from some hijackers but is rewarded by being out in jail! A year later he and a handful of other prisoners are transferred to a brand new nick, unfortunately one which criminals led by Murdoch (John Lazar) have infiltrated and want to detonate an atomic bomb in so America nukes the Middle East (or something). Why they decide to go to all the trouble of putting the bomb inside a prison and not just an abandoned warehouse is never explained.

Things start to go wrong of course, Mace begins a fight back against Murdoch with the help of TV reporter (Landon Hall) and his fellow criminals, luckily one of whom knows how to defuse an atomic bomb...

None of the film makes sense, the thin plot is stretched with various action set pieces. Its cheap and a bit repetitive at times though the cheese factor is high, the cliche factor is also set to warp factor 9. Complete trashy nonsense, i loved it naturally.

The Lone Wolf Takes a Chance (1941)

The reformed jewel thief The Lone Wolf returns in a complicated chase to retrieve money printing plates and save their creator.

The Lone Wolf Michael Lanyard (Warren William) has a bet with his nemesis Inspector Crane (Thurston Hall) that he can't stay out of trouble. Naturally it doesn't take long for the Lone Wolf to get into strife (though to be fair it largely finds him). A gang has kidnapped the designer of some engraving plates owned by the US Treasury and plan to use him to beat the security and make off with the plates. The Lone Wolf is accused of murder by Crane (which the gang really did). The Lone Wolf and Jamison (Eric Blore) begin a chase across the country to catch the gang and prove the Lone Wolf's innocence.

A fine entry in the Lone Wolf series with the usual fast paced antics and interplay between the main characters. The story is interesting bringing in elements of train chase adventures, dark country house mysteries and some twists with the identities of the bad guys. The plot has some questionable elements but the film moves so quickly it doesn't really get bogged down by anything.

The Blacksmith (1922)

Buster Keaton is working in a blacksmithing shop with plenty of mayhem of course. Buster ends up in a fight with the actual blacksmith (Joe Roberts) which ends up the blacksmith being in jail. Buster takes it on himself to serve the blacksmith's customers which involves him shoeing various horses and destroying a Rolls Royce!

This is a fine little silent comedy by one of the all-time greats though maybe a little more slapstick than usual. Not his best but still pretty good.

Double Dragon (1994)

In a bizarre future world people fight over an ancient Chinese talisman which can turn the holder into a two dimensional shadow.

It is 2007 and the remnants of LA are mostly underwater following a massive earthquake, crime rules the streets which remain with various strange factions largely cosplaying The Warriors. Brothers Jimmy (Mark Dacascos) and Billy (Scott Wolf) fight to stop crime boss Koga Shuko (Robert Patrick) getting both halves of a Chinese talisman. He only has one half and can already turn into a strange shadow person, who knows what he could do with total power? 

A long battle across LA rages with various strange and quite amusing action set pieces including a speedboat chase! The brothers are helped by gang leader Marian (Alyssa Milano) in their efforts against Koga and his collection of freaks i mean henchmen...

It shouldn't really work but this is actually a pretty good film, somehow. It is very cheesy, rather strange and makes little sense but the action is pretty good with some good sets even if it does look very much like people in the early 1990s imagined the 2000s would look.

Murder in the Music Hall (1946)

A somewhat dry crime drama is enlivened by ice dancing.

Ice dancer Lila (Vera Ralston) meets her former producer (Edward Norris) in his apartment and turns down his offer of appearing in his new show. When she returns to the music hall she realised she left her bag behind so returns with Don (William Marshall) the orchestra leader and Lila's beau. 

They discover the producer has been stabbed to death! They discover a glove and trace it to a married socialite Rita (Nancy Kelly) who later admits she was in the apartment but he was living and breathing when she left! Lila and Don try and track down the killer before the police close in...

This is a fine if slightly static crime drama, it is boosted by some tasty ice dance performances. The acting can be a bit iffy at times but the film generally looks great and has plenty of red herrings to keep you guessing.

Time of the Apes (1985)

A rather confusing rip-off of Planet of the Apes.

Catherine (Reiko Tokungaga), Caroline (Hiroko Sato) and Johnny (Masaaki Kaji) are having a look around an advanced cryogenic facility when an earthquake occurs and they get accidentally frozen and put into suspended animation (as you do!) When they awaken they find thousands of years have passed and now the world is run by ape men controlled by UFOs and a super computer!

The ape men are rather inept and the three humans manage to escape their execution. They flee to the hills where they discover Godo (Tetsuya Ushio) who is one of the last humans left alive...

This isn't a very good film, little of it makes any sense especially the ending and how our humans manage to return to their time. The science nonsense makes Star Trek Voyager technobabble seem scientifically coherent. The film has some campy fun, especially the ridiculous ape men but is all a bit too weird to really enjoy. Two of the humans are small children and their annoyance factor does not help matters.

The Leech Woman (1960)

A surprisingly good low budget horror film.

Dr Talbot (Philip Terry) is on bad terms with his alcoholic wife June (Coleen Grey). However, when he discovers from a mysterious African woman called Malla (Estelle Helmsley) that there is a secret to restoring youth then he suddenly reconciles with his wife and they head to Africa to discover Malla's secret (and make a fortune). After much stock footage, the Talbots end up at Malla's village. There they discover that Malla's secret is an elixir requires an awful ingredient: fluid from a just slain man's brain! Malla has her youth restored (now played by Kim Hamilton) and tells June that she can also have the elixir but she must choose the man who will be killed for her. She chooses her husband!

June manages to escape the village but discovers the effect of the elixir is short lived. She has no problem in killing again and again to return to her youth. When she arrives home she pretends she is her own niece and she has the hots younger men (some of whom she also kills) but the police are already hot on her trail of dead brain fluid drained victims...

This is a great film despite the overuse of stock footage in the African scenes which can drag the film down a bit. The Noir feel, though sometimes unexpected humour too, and the surprises make for an entertaining horror.

The Lone Wolf in Paris (1938)

One of the earlier Lone Wolf talkies, a different actor plays the reformed jewel thief but the fast moving action will be very familiar.

The Lone Wolf Michael Lanyard (Francis Lederer) is a reformed jewel thief, who always seems to get involved in other people's troubles. This time he gets roped in to help Princess Thania (Frances Drake) who is trying to steal back jewels which will be needed for her family's coronation ceremony. A group of financiers are holding the jewels and won't sell them back, hoping to bring down Thania's royal house. 

The Lone Wolf and his trusty butler Jenkins (Olaf Hytten) help Thania in her efforts to retrieve the jewels, however the group have many tricks up their sleeves making things difficult. Luckily, the Lone Wolf has more tricks up his sleeves!

Francis Lederer only played the Lone Wolf once before the role switched to Warren William who made the next nine films with the character. Lederer's Lone Wolf is similar though has a slightly more reserved European suaveness to him. An entertaining film.

The Rounders (1914)

Charlie Chaplin and Fatty Arbuckle play a couple of drunken gents in this early Chaplin comedy. The gents get drunk together amid much slapstick and end up passed out on the tables in a restaurant before getting thrown out and returned to their long-suffering wives (Phyllis Allen and Minta Durfee). 

This is all a bit rough and crude compared to the kind of film Chaplin would be making his name in in a few years. It is fine enough for what it is.

What a Carve Up! (1961)

A highly enjoyable comedy crime drama, at times it verges on Carry On territory but thats no bad thing.

Ernie (Kenneth Connor) is told his rich uncle has died by a somewhat sinister solicitor (Donald Pleasance). Ernie heads off to his uncle's country pile with his mate Syd (Sid James), a lonely looking house in the moors. Ernie's fellow family members are a motley crew of weirdos. Then the deaths start happening...

Ernie, Syd and the rest, including the uncle's former nurse (Shirley Eaton) scramble to try and work out what is going on in the strange house and stop the murderer. However, they need to identify who it is first. Surely it must be one of the family members present or is it, in this house riddled with secret doors and passageways...

This is a fine film, most of the time it isn't laugh out loud funny rather than humorous and inventive but it does have it's slapstick and ridiculous moments especially with Connor and James. It has plenty of twists too, it works as a dark house crime drama as well.

Master Ninja I (1984)

The Master was a ninja themed TV series from 1984, two episodes were used to create this feature length film, two more episodes were used to create the imaginatively named Master Ninja II.

The Master McAllister (Lee Van Cleef) is an American veteran who now possesses the mysterious skills of the Ninja. Along with his young friend Max (Timothy Van Platten) they aim to help out those in need. In the first episode... half of the film they help out the owner of a small airfield and his daughter (Demi Moore) against a scheming land developer and the local police who are in his pocket...

As this film is based on the first episodes of the series we do get some back story for McAllister and Max and also see Max begin his ninja training. The action is quite generic for 1980s US TV series, with the usual budget to match so doesn't amount to much. Lee Van Cleef was a little too old and creaking to play a convincing ninja but the film isn't without it's good bits. It is a fairly passable film though but you can see why the TV series did not last that long.

It Conquered the World (1956)

Although this film is packed full of familiar genre tropes, it is a surprisingly decent watch.

A satellite sent up by the US starts to act strangely and it is bought back to Earth in a team led by Dr Nelson (Peter Graves). Meanwhile, his friend Dr Anderson (Lee Van Cleef) is acting strangely and seems to be talking to... someone. That someone turns out to be a being from another world and it intends to take control of the Earth... by sending space bats to attack the local sheriff and mayor and putting them under his control...

But just wait until you see the jiggly rubber suit horror that is the alien! This is a fun film and is very familiar with all the common tropes like small town settings (very budget friendly), ridiculous aliens and nefarious plots to conquer mankind but foiled by men in open-top Cadillacs. The film is ridiculous but very watchable.

London by Night (1937)

A stereotypical foggy London and awful accents can't spoil this pretty solid crime drama.

London based US reporter Michael (George Murphy) delays his holiday to Paris to look in on a strange case of an umbrella wielding criminal who has apparently done away with someone. A policeman is also shot by the mysterious man. 

While taking a look, with his trusty dog (Corky), and after chasing a man with a brolly, Michael encounters Patricia (Rita Johnson) the daughter of a rich businessman (Montague Love). Somehow the businessman's house, or someone from the household in any event, is involved in the Umbrella Man case and Michael wants to court Patricia in any case. With the help of Inspector Jefferson (George Zucco), though shouldn't that be the other way around, Michael tracks down the mysterious Umbrella Man who is employing all number of tricks to stay ahead of the law...

A fine crime drama with plenty of twists and turns. London is eternally foggy and dark though that helps with the sinister atmosphere of course. The accents can be quite something, but not in a good way. The villain is very good and the crimes are inventive. Though the ending of the film is somewhat rushed.

A Movie Star (1916)

A fine little silent comedy. A new Western starring Mack Swain is starting at the local movie theatre and a large crowd is assembling. To their delight the star of the film has turned up to see the film himself! As Mack and the audience watch his heroic antics on screen, Mack finds that not everyone in the audience is as enamoured as he is. 

This is a delightful early comedy, more understated and subtle than some of the slapstick of the time which has helped it not date as much as some films of the period, the parodying of the still young movie industry is superb.

Bloodlust! (1961)

A group of young people are hunted by a mad rich man on his private island. This may give some folks some ideas.

The teenagers (including June Kenney and Robert Reed) who are holidaying in a boat discover an island they think is deserted. Unfortunately, they soon discover the island is owned by the somewhat sinister Dr Balleau (Wilton Graff). 

To the teenagers' horror they discover that anyone who lands on Balleau's island becomes his prey, he hunts them down and then turns them into macabre trophies... 

This is a rather poor and tedious rip-off of the Most Dangerous Game (which isn't that brilliant either though leagues above this nonsense), it lacks much in the way of decent thrills or action. Nothing really makes any sense and the tiny budget doesn't really stretch to much.

Prison Shadows (1936)

A boxing-crime drama which rather pulls it's punches.

Gene (Eddie Nugent) is a boxer who is in prison for killing a man in the ring. He is released from prison and bought back into the fight game by an unscrupulous promoter (Forest Taylor) and his partner Claire (Lucile Lund) whom Gene has the hots for and thus Claire is able to wrap him around her little finger, much to the disappointment of Mary (Joan Barclay) who really loves Gene. Gene kills another man in the ring but it seems there are illegal drugs being used and a plot by the promoter to use death to build up Gene's name...

This isn't a great film, though is perfectly watchable for what it is. The story doesn't make a lot of sense plus Gene is incredibly naive which makes it hard to root for him as the main character. 

No more than OK, it wouldn't win any prizes though does have a clever dog (Corky) in the film who is the real hero.

The Boys in Blue (1983)

The comedy duo star as a couple of police officers, it certainly is a crime scene.

Sgt. Cannon (Tommy Cannon) and PC Ball (Bobby Ball) are a couple of bumbling police officers who comprise "The Force" in a sleepy village. There is little crime in their village, and so the police big wigs (Eric Sykes and Jack Douglas) are looking to close down the station. Cannon and Ball decide they need some crime to justify their continued employment and so plot to steal the painting of a local businessman (Roy Kinnear). But real art thieves are hiding out in the village...

Now, i did enjoy the comedy of Cannon and Ball on TV but this big screen outing really is wretched stuff. Cannon and Ball's comedy simply did not work in this situation and it destroys the film, despite the excellent supporting cast which also includes Jon Pertwee and Arthur English. Even a whole host of solid film comedy veterans can't compensate for the failure of the stars and the rather average execution and storyline. It really is a shame.