Rogue Lion (1972)

An amiable tale on a South African nature reserve, plenty of wild animals and some minor adventure if not that many thrills.

Dudley (Brian O'Shaughnessey) operates a nature reserve and is very set in his ways. He doesn't really want any help (though with various wild animals running rampant and a gang of poachers led by Dudley's nemesis Kimber (Victor Melleney) on the reserve he surely needs some). 

He grudgingly accepts Larry (Bruce Millar), a ranger transferred to help him. Larry manages to get on Dudley's good side despite their different methods and outlooks on life causing some conflict early on but then Larry gets involved with Sally (Tessa Ziegler) who just happens to be Kimber's daughter...

Despite the title we don't get to see much in the way of rogue lions in this film, we do see troublesome hippos, wildebeests and crocodiles. The nature footage is the best part of the film but the rest is a perfectly reasonable film if not overly exciting.

Kill or Be Killed (1976)

Quite possibly the most confusing and random film ever made.

A Nazi, Baron von Rudloff (Norman Coombes) was humiliated before his beloved Führer during the war when his German team of karate masters were defeated by the Japanese team of Miyagi (Raymond Ho-Tong). Now several decades on von Rudloff has built a castle in the South African desert (which looks like he built it out of styrofoam) and a private army. Now he wants to hold a rematch of the karate contest...

He bribes Miyagi to bring a new team of the best karate masters (none of which are from Japan weirdly) while von Rudloff's henchman Chico (Danie du Plessis) recruits other best karate masters for the Nazi's new team. One chosen is Steve (James Ryan) but he doesn't want much to do with von Rudloff's crazy plan and makes off. Unfortunately Steve's girlfriend Olga (Charlotte Michelle) is kidnapped forcing Steve to take part in the bizarre karate contest...

A very strange film full of random plot tangents and just sheer weirdness. This film definitely feels like one where filming in some scenes began with a half-written script (or even none at all). Some of the fighting scenes are not that bad at all and the film is, of course, unintentionally hilarious. And just so so odd.

The Cape Town Affair (1967)

A bit slow but very stylish.

Skip (James Brolin) steals a woman's purse on the bus, unknown to him the woman is being tailed by the secret service. Candy (Jacqueline Bisset) is carrying stolen plans for the Communists. When the police (Gordon Mulholland) track down Skip he refuses to play ball (and for some reason they don't search him as he has the stolen plans on him all along!) Now Skip must stay one step ahead of the police, the Communist cell and Candy...

All set against a backdrop of late 1960s South Africa, Apartheid is never mentioned but can't be ignored especially as this is a film set in South Africa with no black characters. The pacing is glacial at times and the plot a bit dull but it does have some late 60s cool. I enjoyed the British made cars and buses too.

Space Mutiny (1988)

An unbelievably bad sci-fi movie, the sheer awfulness making it unbelievably entertaining. On a colony ship in deep space unrest is building thanks to the evil Enforcer Kalgen (John Philip Law) who wants to send the ship into pirate territory. He begins acts of sabotage, one of which almost kills hot shot space pilot Dave Ryder (Reb Brown). Dave survives though and soon is leading the fight against Kalgon and his inept goons, assisted by the commander's daughter Lea (Cisse Cameron)...

So, this is a film which reuses footage from Battlestar Galactica (all the space scenes) - though some are played backwards. The original special effects are not up to much. Most of the space ship interior looks like an abandoned factory, with a few "futuristic" sets which use 1980s PCs. The bad guys drive around in golf carts which fire laser guns. Meanwhile, there are a group of alien women aboard who prance around to New Age music and appear to exert some kind of psychic control on people, though not much effect on the plot. 

The plot is rather basic and incoherent. The acting is almost universally awful. The fight scenes chaotic and inept... Obviously the film is hilarious. This is a film where one of the supporting actors dies... and then reappears as an extra in the next scene!

Laser Mission (1989)

Incomprehensible low-budget action nonsense. Michael Gold (Brandon Lee) is a mercenary sent to recruit Professor Braun (Ernest Borgnine) who is an expert on lasers. The CIA want to keep his knowledge safe and stop terrorists blowing airliners out of the sky with lasers (obviously the CIA want to be able to do that themselves)...

Gold is sent to... well who really knows... it could be Africa, it could be Latin America it could be a film set which oddly mixes both. There are plenty of Cubans and Russians around but none of them can shoot straight, except Colonel Kalishnakov (Grahem Clarke). Gold meets up with Alissa (Debi Monahan) who is supposed to be Braun's daughter but also seems incredibly handy in a fight. Endless shoot outs and chase scenes across the desert thus follow...

It is terrible but strangely compelling at the same time. The fight scenes are so bad that the cannon fodder bad guys often drop dead even before the heroes start firing. The meagre plot is stretched so thinly that half a dozen pointless action scenes had to be inserted to fill the film out. Oh and the dialogue is frequently awful. And this is why it is brilliant obviously.

Kill and Kill Again (1981)

Low budget martial arts films of the 1970s and 1980s seldom made much sense but this South African film takes that to another (low) level...

Dr Kane (John Ramsbottom) has developed a way to produce gasoline from potatoes, a side effect of this is a powerful mind control drug. A criminal mastermind called Marduk (Michael Mayer) kidnaps Kane and wants to use the drug to create a perfect society of slaves and take over the world!

Martial artist Steve Chase (John Ryan) is recruited to rescue Kane and stop Marduk. He assembles a motley crew of martial arts stereotypes (big guy, zen master, jokey guy) and they head off to take on Marduk and his army of goons in matching t-shirts...

The film is complete nonsense, the action comes thick and fast but is fairly light. The tone is fairly jokey and heavily cheesy. Even for films of this genre it has so many plot holes and unexplained elements as to defy belief. It is watchable just because it is so so strange and terrible.