Friday, January 10, 2020

Laser Mission (1989)

Incomprehensible low-budget action nonsense. Michael Gold (Brandon Lee) is a mercenary sent to recruit Professor Braun (Ernest Borgnine) who is an expert on lasers. The CIA want to keep his knowledge safe and stop terrorists blowing airliners out of the sky with lasers (obviously the CIA want to be able to do that themselves)...

Gold is sent to... well who really knows... it could be Africa, it could be Latin America it could be a film set which oddly mixes both. There are plenty of Cubans and Russians around but none of them can shoot straight, except Colonel Kalishnakov (Grahem Clarke). Gold meets up with Alissa (Debi Monahan) who is supposed to be Braun's daughter but also seems incredibly handy in a fight. Endless shoot outs and chase scenes across the desert thus follow...

It is terrible but strangely compelling at the same time. The fight scenes are so bad that the cannon fodder bad guys often drop dead even before the heroes start firing. The meagre plot is stretched so thinly that half a dozen pointless action scenes had to be inserted to fill the film out. Oh and the dialogue is frequently awful. And this is why it is brilliant obviously.