Enforcer from Death Row (1976)

A multi-national agency has lost their agents so needs a new man to sent in to Manila to fight a deadly gang, of course the obvious choice for this new recruit is a man on death row...

The execution of Young (Leo Fong) is faked and he is sent to the Philippines with a new identity. This identity seems blown pretty early on, though the film is pretty unclear as to what exactly is going on. Young has to battle a criminal gang led by Nomad including his ninjas (who are pretty inept) and his henchmen who enjoy torture maybe a little too much...

This is a pretty terrible film. Very disjointed and makes no sense what so ever. Cameron Mitchell gets top billing though only appears in one scene at the very end. The action is sometimes pretty good, though at other times comically bad. The film is certainly an experience!

Murder in the Orient (1974)

A basic but enjoyable martial arts romp.

During World War 2, Japanese soldiers buried millions of dollars worth of gold somewhere in the Philippines. They put the map to the treasure on two swords (of course!) Now in 1974 the powerful Golden Cobra gang have one of the swords and are hunting for the other...

One of the gang's thugs kills a girl who knows where the sword is (well obviously that helps), this involves Paul (Ron Marchini) and the girl's brother Lao Tsu (Leo Fong). Both of them are highly skilled in kung fu which is going to come in handy...

The plot doesn't really make a lot of sense and is pretty basic when it does, and the acting is pretty ropey... but who cares? No one watches films like this for the acting, they watch it for the action! The action isn't bad at all and the film has plenty of early 1970s cheese.

Nine Deaths of the Ninja (1985)

Ninja nonsense in the jungle.

A group of American tourists are kidnapped on a tour of the Philippines by a band of terrorists led by a crazed nazi (Blackie Dammett) and his lieutenant who is apparently called Honey Hump (Regina Richardson)! 

The terrorists want the release of a brutal madman, the US government sent three of their special agents who have martial art skills including Spike (Sho Kosugi) who was kicked out of ninja school but wants to prove himself.

This is a very silly film but once you treat it as a comedy spoof it makes a lot more sense. The plot though makes very little sense and is filled with bizarre scenes and tangents. The actual fighting, especially the ninja scenes, are nothing special but competently done. A curiously odd film, not brilliant but certainly memorable.

Demon of Paradise (1987)

A cheap and rather cheesy monster movie, maybe a couple of decades too late.

Fisherman off the coast of Hawaii illegally use dynamite to assist them, this of course awakens an ancient sea monster who now is running amok and killing people, especially young women in bikinis of course. 

Sheriff Keefer (William Steis) and Annie (Kathryn Witt) team up to stop the monster, though local resort owner Angela (Laura Banks) thinks it is an excellent tourist draw!

A low budget horror, the monster is the usual man in a rubber suit (though doesn't look too bad). The story is a bit slow moving and meanders too much. The film would probably work better if it was made a couple of decades earlier and had a surf rock and roll soundtrack!

The Thirsty Dead (1974)

At first look this looks like it will be a sleazy sexploitation film but in fact it turns into a decent if not exceptional occult horror.

We are in the Philippines, and someone is kidnapping young women off the streets of Manila. Laura (Jennifer Billingsley) is one of these, who is snatched by mysterious men in cloaks with hoods (which must be absolute murder in the Manila heat!) 

However, Laura and some other women are not being sold into sex slavery. Instead, they are taken into the remote jungle where a mysterious cult led by Baru (John Considine) worship a head in a block of... something and apparently can live forever if they drink the blood of young girls!

This isn't a very exciting film, as not a lot happens apart from a little mild horror and a lot of weirdness. The film does have a lot of camp value and is enjoyably silly like these films set in the Philippines in the early 1970s often are. Yes of course Vic Diaz is in it!

Terror is a Man (1959)

Mad scientist creates man-cat, unfortunately the plot and action does not proceed with a feline speed and grace.

William (Richard Derr) is washed up on a remote island in the Pacific after his cargo ship sinks. He is rescued by Dr Girard (Frances Lederer) and his comely wife Frances (Greta Thyssen). Girard is conducting some kind of strange medical experiments on the island, and there is a beast loose which has killed enough natives that they have fled. However, the beast is not a natural creation but a big cat which Girard is trying to turn into a man.

Despite Frances and William's pleas to leave the island, Girard doggedly continues his experiments with the man-cat (Flory Carlos). However, the creature has developed a fascination for Frances (natch) and is also becoming harder and harder to control...

A story based on a HG Wells tale, and is fine enough though lacks much in the way of action. Much of the film is spent waiting around for something to happen, we really only see the man-cat in the final few minutes, though it really isn't worth the wait. One interesting gimmick is the inclusion of an annoying bell in the soundtrack to warn squeamish viewers to look away if something horrid is about to happen.

Daughters of Satan (1972)

A rather average Satanic horror film though makes the best use of a limited budget.

James (Tom Selleck) is an art dealer living in the Philippines with his wife Chris (Barra Grant). One day he finds a mysterious painting at an antique shop owned by Ching (Vic Diaz). The painting appears to show the burning of some witches, one of which looks exactly like his wife! The painting freaks Chris out, and James too as she seems to know a lot about what the painting shows...

More mysterious events begin to occur. Some elements of the painting disappear, and their likenesses appear in real life. These include a vicious black dog and a stern maid (Paraluman). James begins to think the painting is possessed, Doctor Dangal (Vic Silayan) knows there is witchcraft at play but the coven led by Kitty (Tani Guthrie) deal with him. Now she wants Chris to deal with James...

The film has plenty of suspense and creepy moments. It also has some rather racy scenes involving naked women being whipped. Ultimately the plot is a bit disappointing especially towards the end, however this is a reasonable watch. 

Wonder Women (1973)

Completely incoherent, shamelessly exploitative and violent trash. I loved it obviously. 

Someone is kidnapping top athletes. In the Philippines, Harber (Ross Hagen) is hired to investigate the disappearance of one such athlete (whom we see captured by a number of young women and then taken away in a hearse). In fact this is a nefarious plot by Dr Tsu (Nancy Kwan) who is conducting medical experiments and plans to start doing brain transplants: transferring the brains of rich old people into young fit bodies...

Harber's investigation, which includes the seduction and long chase of one of Dr Tsu's henchwomen Linda (Maria De Aragon), takes him to the wonderfully Brutalist lair of Dr Tsu (which looks incredible, she doesn't look so bad either). Here he witnesses her twisted experiments and also indulges in a spot of brain sex with her. All hell is about to break loose of course...

A confusing film, especially in the last act which leaves many threads up in the air. Maybe they were expecting a sequel? Nothing really makes much sense and it is stacked high with 70s cheese and badly choreographed fights. You just wonder if the taxi driver (Vic Diaz) is still waiting for Harber on that island.

The Beast of the Yellow Night (1971)

A very strange film. In the early postwar Philippines jungle a dying war criminal, Langdon is given a choice by Satan (Vic Diaz). He can either continue to live by serve the Devil forever or die. Langdon chooses the former. We then switch to the present day (well early 1970s anyway) and a bad man is buried. This apparently was Langdon's previous host, Langdon's next host is businessman Philip Rogers (Josh Ashley). Langdon's mission is to awaken evil in the people he meets. Langdon/Rogers has an interesting way in serving Satan. As well as treat his now-wife Julia (Mary Charlotte Wilcox) with indifference and try and pass her off to Rogers' brother, he likes to go out at night, change into a disfigured demon and eat people...

However, by now Langdon is tired of being Satan's slave and wants out of his contract but unfortunately he has no way out and must serve Satan forever (small print eh?) Even when the police led by de Santos (Leopoldo Salcedo) shoot him (in demon mode) it has no effect. Langdon finally finds some kind of solace with a blind man (Andres Centenera). who was a notorious wanted criminal in his younger days but now is patiently awaiting the end and peace...

Truthfully, this is a rather confusing film. It is entertaining enough nonsense about a flesh eating monster loose on the streets of Manila though the story doesn't really go anywhere. The demon make-up is quite well done and Diaz' comedy Satan adds a little extra dimension to what is overall a rather plodding film. There are a number of annoying plot holes too. Despite all that is is enjoyable.

The Big Bird Cage (1972)

A shameless piece of rather grubby sexploitation set in a women's prison in the Philippines jungle. Terry (Anitra Ford) is a rather big headed young women who gets mixed up in a robbery by wanna-be revolutionaries Blossom (Pam Grier) and Django (Sid Haig). Terry gets sent into the jungle to a brutal prison governed by the gloriously over-acting Zappa (Andres Centenera)...

Terry's bravado and spirit is slowly crushed as she realises her women's wiles for once won't get her out of this one. But Blossom and Django have a plan to break the prisoners out of jail. They both infiltrate the prison (Blossom as a prisoner, Django as a ridiculously camp guard) to prepare for revolution...

It isn't a subtle film, it includes torture, rape, murder and lots of female nudity of course. High art it ain't, trash it certainly is and when treated in the right way it will deliver.

Wheels of Fire (1985)

A rough but good (in it's own limited way) Mad Max rip-off. It is the post-apocalypse and men dressed in leather drive muscle cars with spikes and flamethrowers fighting over the remaining resources of mankind. As usual.

Our hero is Trace (Gary Watkins), a nomadic super warrior of sorts. When his sister Arlie (Lynda Wiesmeier) is captured by the evil warlord of the wastelands Scourge (Joe Mari Avellana), he seeks to get her back.

He gets help from Stinger (Laura Banks), who has a bird of prey. A powerful faction called the Ownership Army is aiming to wipe out Scourge but the evil warlord has a plan...

Low budget, ultra violent and shamelessly exploitative. Weismeier's large breasts get more screen time than most of the supporting cast. The plot is pretty basic and the film is mostly just a series of violent set pieces with large body counts. It is trashy and utterly unoriginal but undeniably entertaining.

James Batman (1966)

This is a very strange film that spoofs not only James Bond but Batman as well. An evil communist organisation called CLAW is seeking to take control of every freedom loving country in the world (or Asia at least), threatening the countries with destruction if they don't obey. To combat the evil doers secret agent James Hika (Dolphy) along with Batman (Dolphy again) and Robin (Boy Alano) are sent in...

It is basically a low budget wind-up and ruthlessly takes the piss. The action is frequently quite lame, punches are visibly missed, sets are flaky, the plot is rather confusing.

However it is undeniably entertaining if only from the sheer weirdness of it all. It isn't all that far away from a mid-20th century movie serial at times in terms of tone, film quality and nonsense. The real James Bond and the TV version of Batman didn't exactly take themselves seriously either, this just takes it on another level. It is not all fun though, some of the content is rather dark, very much of it's time shall we say?

Darna: The Return (1994)

Darna is the Filipino version of Wonder Woman and in her skimpy outfit is definately a wonder! 

Darna (Anjanette Abayari) is a super heroine, who fights crime but can turn back into a normal person too. A natural disaster wipes out her village and during the melee she is blindsided by an unidentified assailant and the source of her power (a stone) is stolen. Darna, in her civilian guise as Narda, consequently goes a little crazy but her auntie and little brother take her to refuge in Manila.

However once there she is menaced by a smug crime boss. Meanwhile a TV evangelist is saying to her swaying crowd of believers that only her way is the way to salvation as Manila will soon be swept away by a deluge. But Narda's stone is recovered and Darna is reborn and she begins to fight the crime wave of the crime boss, including plucking his helicopter out of the air.

The evangelist turns her attention to Darna... for lo it is the daughter of her arch-nemesis Valentina and she plans to wipe out the human race, or Manila anyway. Showdown time, now did you ever think you would ever see one scantily clad woman beat another one with a TV aerial? Well you can now...

Darna saves the, rather confusing, day in a blizzard of low-budget special FX. It is cheesy but easy on the eye.

They Call Him Chop Suey (1975)

They Call Him Chop Suey (also known as "Sudden Kill") is an enjoyable Filipino Bruceploitation movie starring Ramon Zamora (the Filipino "Bruce Lee") as Chop-Suey.

Chop-Suey is a kitchen worker in HK who returns to Manila after his uncle dies. Chop-Suey is obsessed with Bruce Lee but unlike some films with similar characters Chop-Suey actually is pretty good at kung-fu...

Chop-Suey starts working for his auntie at a struggling Chinese restaurant, struggling for customers and the onerous protection cash demands from mobster Mr Jackson (Romeo Rivera). Very soon Chop-Suey is fighting the mob and catching the eye of Jackson's girl (Jennifer Kaur)...

The story line makes little sense but it is just a vague framework to hang on a number of very acceptable action set pieces. There is some goofy humour in the film though also some pretty brutal violence, some the characters are a bit rape-y too. It is an unholy mix which just about manages to keep your attention.

Stoney (1969)

Stoney is a cheesy and sleazy heist drama set in the Philippines and Indonesia and involving gun running, a hoard of WW2 loot and a lot of violence and female nudity.

Stoney is a beautiful woman (played by Barbara Bouchet) who has travelled to Surabaya (the film's alternative title is Surabaya Conspiracy by the way) from Manila to secure transport of a load of looted gold back home, however she has rivals (including Michael Preston) for the loot and much mayhem, murder and double crossing ensues.

Not that it makes much sense, at times the film seems a sequence of random incidents and baffling twists interspersed with a few random gunfights. It is really not that good a film at all which takes a long time to get going though does have the odd nugget to enjoy and the cheese factor is often high which is always welcome. The ending is also impressively bleak.