Cool as Ice (1991)

Its Vanilla Ice! Vanilla Ice and his friends wander around on their motorbikes and pumping out the occasional sick bit of hip hop. Vanilla meets Kathy (Kristin Minter) a girl he takes a shine too after he accidentally makes her fall off her horse. While Vanilla and her dorky boyfriend fight for Kathy's affections, her parents (who are apparently on witness protection) are tracked down by a couple of bozo corrupt ex-cops...

When Kathy's kid brother is kidnapped by the corrupt cops only Vanilla Ice can save the day (of course!)

It is a rather flimsy film, more like an extended pop video book ended by some badly acted segments and padded out by a number of montages. It is incredibly early 90s, it'll make you nostalgic if nothing else especially for the colour yellow.

To be honest despite the fact the film should be (and to honest actually is) utterly awful... it is still highly enjoyable due to the pure cheese and unintentional hilarity. Vanilla Ice has plenty of charisma onscreen but he does seem to spend most of the film in a mild state of confusion.

Inner Sanctum (1948)

An odd but very satisfying little noir. Harold (Charles Russell) accidentally kills his fiance at a railway station. He dumps her body on a departing train, he thinks he has got away with it but then he meets rather annoying little kid Mike (Dale Belding) who saw the whole thing...

Harold is stuck in the town after a flood washes away the bridge. He stays in a boarding house... but as luck would have it he ends up having to share a room with Mike! If that's not enough fellow boarder Mary Beth Hughes has the hots for Harold and doesn't seem to mind the fact he is a killer...

A dark and mysterious film full of strange characters, suspense and plot twists. Although only a short film it packs a lot in.

The Silver Trail (1937)

A rather run of the mill B-western. Bob (Rex Lease) has arrived in town looking for his friend who has written to him about his silver mine. However when Bob gets to town no one seems to have heard of his friend or the mine. The town dudes have stolen the claim of course, and had Bob's friend killed. Bob takes a while though to cotton on that something is amiss even though the bad guys ability to hide their guilt is seemingly zero...

With the help of clever dog Rin Tin Tin Jr and female outlaw Molly (Mary Russell) Bob finds out what has happened to the claim and brings the bad guys to their well deserved comeuppance. Oh and of course gets the girl too...

Although at times slightly stilted and awkward, and with a fairly average plot, this is a decent enough if not spectacular western. The usual stunts, fights and shoot outs. A few songs too. And the good hats win.

Tarzan the Tiger (Serial) (1929)

Action packed serial with the usual cliff hangers and unlikely escapes. Tarzan (Frank Merrill) faces the menace of the Arab army of Queen La of Opar (Lillian Worth). Jane (Natalie Kingston) is kidnapped and Tarzan suffers an amnesia in the usual movie way, a blow to the head!

After several chapters as a rather vague simpleton Tarzan is finally back, cured of his amnesia also in the usual movie way (another blow to the head natch). Can Tarzan rescue Jane, resist Queen La and get his hand on the wealth of Opar?

The first sound Tarzan in a way, not a full talkie rather a transitional silent film with added sound effects including Tarzan's yells! Merrill brings some impressive physicality to the role though not much in the way of acting. However for the role he is perfect.

Spiker (1985)

Although this follows the usual cliched pattern of a sports movie the fact it is about volleyball makes it slightly novel. It follows a number of young hopefuls, including Sonny (Stephen Burns) and Catch (Patrick Houser), who want to make the US Olympic volleyball team under tough Coach Doames (Michael Parks).

Not everyone makes the cut and along the way there are a lot of toil and sweat and mysterious looking training exercises. Sonny and Catch fall foul of Coach due to their love of parties and / or the opposite sex. Team veteran Newt (Christopher Allport) meanwhile has trouble of his own as his wife Marcia (Jo McDonnell) is becoming bored of being a volleyball widow...

The film has little you haven't seen before but is a decent watch even though it is painfully low budget and rather shoddy at times. The acting is slightly awkward but has a natural feel to it. The AOR soundtrack is great and adds to the heavy dose of 80s cheese. We don't get to see if the team actually did go and win gold, though in a heavily stylised way it is implied. The real team did win gold in 1988 incidentally.

The tough and often precarious life of an Olympic athlete is well portrayed. As the Coach said, do you really want it? 

Freedom to Die (1961)

A satisfying little and noirish British crime film. Craig (Paul Maxwell) is a slimy con who breaks out of prison and wants his cut of the loot he helped liberate from it's rightful owner some time ago. Wrestling show promoter Felix (Bruce Seton) is the guy holding onto it and he isn't that keen on Craig showing up...

Mike (T.P. McKenna) is hired to bump Craig off, though it is a bit inconvenient as he was also the one who broke Craig out of gaol. Though as he says himself, he is on an each way bet. Craig meanwhile is telling Felix's daughter Linda (Felicity Young) the truth about her old man, and also appears to have dishonoured her...

A limited film but highlighted by some high drama, genuine darkness and decent performances. The twist at the end is well worth it.

The Black Dragon's Revenge (1975)

There was much money to be made from Bruce Lee's death* for sure. In this film Ron Van Clief goes to HK to discover the truth about Bruce's death with the help of his friend Charles Bonet. However his method of investigation leaves a lot to be desired, some basic questioning and lots and lots of random fighting.

Meanwhile another group are also trying to find out the truth, and they also get into lots of fights. The bad guys want to stop the truth getting out of course. What is the truth about Bruce Lee's death? Well that is never made clear though every conspiracy theory under the sun is given an airing, amid the endless fights.

Well the story is nonsense but the martial arts is decent. It is also great to see so much of HK in the 1970s.

* Though of course we all know his death was faked and really he was recalled to the Shaolin Temple.

The Last Journey (1936)

An interesting little film which is half action-drama half advert for the Great Western Railway. It is also like a British railway ancestor of the Airport films: a collection of passengers with different back stories and skeletons in the cupboards all bought together on one trip and collective adventure...

Train driver Bob (Julien Mitchell) is on his last journey before he retires but he suspects his fireman (Michael Hogan) is having an affair with his wife (Olga Lindo). He decides to go out in style... by not stopping and crashing the train killing himself, the fireman and everyone else!

Meanwhile the train load of newly weds (Hugh Williams and Judy Gunn), small time crooks (Eliot Makeham and Eve Gray), a doctor (Godfrey Tearle) in a race against time to save a life, neurotics (Viola Compton) and police (Frank Pettingell) get up to various antics... And just who is the guy in the sports car (later aeroplane) chasing after the train?

Fast moving (literally), the acting is also rather fast and frenetic and often a bit overdone. However there isn't time to get bored. The 1930s railway footage alone makes this film well worth watching.

Fire Maidens from Outer Space (1956)

It seems in the 1950s everyone thought outer space would be fairly easy to get to and once they got there they would find it inhabited by either attractive young women or monsters...

The UK/US launch a mission on a nuclear powered V2 rocket to Jupiter's 13th moon which seems Earth like. The joint team of chain smoking astronauts including Blair (Anthony Dexter) and Larson (Paul Carpentier) make it to the moon...

There they discover young women in revealing outfits led by Hestia (Susan Shaw) and an old man Prasus (Owen Berry). He claims they are the last descendants of Atlantis. Oh there is also a rather strange mutant lurking in the forest in an unconvincing bodysuit...

It is very low budget, most of the film seems to be made in the local park. It is also very silly but has a lot of innocent charm. The main problem with the film is that there wasn't a huge amount of story so there is a little too much meandering filler. Happily there is just enough cheese to make it worthwhile.

Danger on Dartmoor (1980)

A Children's Film Foundation adventure with the usual mix mild peril and wholesome antics. Robin (Marcus Evans) and Justin (Simon Henderson) live on Dartmoor at their parents' farm. Their holidays though are about to be "ruined" by their cousin Louise (Debby Salter) who is visiting from the big city (and has a pocket calculator)...

However they arn't the only people on the moors. An escaped convict (Barry Foster) is also on the moors. His mum (Patricia Hayes) has left some supplies for him in the cattle shed on the farm leading the kids to head off on the moors to find out whats going on. They soon get lost in the mists, encountering a wild dog (who is soon tamed by a bit of chocolate), marshes and of course the convict...

A fun little film with a straightforward characters and story. Louise uses her pocket calculator at various parts of the film to make calculations and it ends up becoming a vital plot point of course.

Killer Dill (1947)

Johnny Dill (Stuart Erwin) is a downtrodden underwear salesman who always seems to be on the wrong side of life. He can't seem to ever get to propose to his lukewarm girlfriend Judy (Anne Gwynne) and his annoying attorney friend William Allan (Frank Albertson) is always borrowing money from him. Johnny's life takes a major turn though when he is mistaken for a brutal gangster to whom he looks identical. Johnny starts to mess with a crime boss and play the role of a hoodlum as he finds being a tough guy finally gets Judy excited...

The film is rather predictable and very cheap, it could be likeable enough but plods along a bit too much. Despite being a short film the lack of plot means it has a bit too much padding. The film is set in 1931 though everyone and everything looks like 1947 (which makes you wonder why they bothered with that point?)

Its not all bad, at times it is an amusing enough little comedy, just unfortunately not that many times!

The Gladiator (1986)

Drunk driving is a disease, The Gladiator is the cure. Rick (Ken Wahl) and his brother Jeff (Brian Robbins) are targeted by a deranged psychopath in a black Dodge Charger. He forces them to crash resulting in Jeff's death...

Rick decides something must be done about the scourge of drunk driving and soups up his truck with armour and even weapons like a harpoon. He then begins to take out drunk drivers and call on the police to arrest them. He uses the name on the radio, The Gladiator...

The Gladiator soon becomes a cult hero and comes to the attention of radio host Susan (Nancy Allen) - though she unwittingly already knows him as he is the mechanic who fixes her car and who has a thing for her. Meanwhile the guy in the black Dodge is continuing to target people. Obviously he and the Gladiator will soon meet...

It is ridiculous cheap fun and violent. A glorious load of tosh you used to find so often in the VHS video shop. The black Dodge Chargers were apparently once used in the Dukes of Hazard. This is altogether darker road adventure. The road scenes are not that bad at all. The reveal of the Black Charger Guy is somewhat disappointing though.

Held for Ransom (1938)

A rather confusing and frenetic crime drama. Rich tycoon Herbert Scott (Richard Lancaster) has been kidnapped. Despite the ransom being paid by his nephew Larry Scott (Grant Withers) Herbert remains a captive. The police suspect Larry may be in on the plot himself though the feds arn't sure and assign plucky agent Betty (Blanche Mehaffey) to tail Larry and find out what is going on...

Betty heads up country and soon finds out what is going on thanks to some cunning investigative work and a bit of derring do. The last act of the film ups the pace considerably and is not unlike the multiple set pieces and cliffhangers of a serial.

An enjoyable film despite the confusing plot early on, a female action lead was rare for the 1930s of course. The ambiguity of some of the characters also elevates the film, especially Larry Scott. We arn't sure whose side he is on until the last act.

Cloak Without Dagger (1956)

A modest and inoffensive, yet enjoyable little spy drama. During the war Felix (Philip Friend) and Kyra (Mary Mackenzie) were after an enemy spy but he escaped them. Now ten years later Felix is a waiter in a hotel and Kyra a journalist... and she has seen the spy again! Now he is apparently Peppi (John Heller), a dress designer. She has also seen a dead body... which quickly disappears.

Kyra enlists the help of the hotel detective Fred (Leslie Dywer) who suspects Felix is a wrong-un... much to Kyra's shock. Has Felix become an enemy agent? Everything seems to point to a secret nuclear base...

Although somewhat limited with a basic by the numbers plot the film is a decent enough watch with a fairly exciting helicopter chase as a climax. Look out for Frank Thornton in a small role as one of the spy ring, long before the days of Captain Peacock!

The Merry Couple (1981)

The ups and downs of a couple who walk the tightrope between being cute and incredibly annoying. 

Alan Tam and Joan Lim get married, and of course the in-laws want them to have children as soon as possible, as does Alan. Unfortunately Joan knows she will be fired if she becomes pregnant (obviously this film is from a time before anti-sex discrimination laws). Joan thus insists on protection but her mum-in-law has a cunning plan and pricks all the condoms with a pin (no really). Thus... Joan is in the club and out of a job.

A daughter is born, then a son. But Joan hates the housewife life, stuck at home having babies pee on her while Alan works all day as the Worst Advertising Executive in the World. So she returns to work but then Alan is the downtrodden one...

The couple are a little extreme in their emotions to make for that enjoyable a viewing and it detracts from the film quite a bit. They both get pissed off with their partner so easy you wonder how they got past the first date never mind marriage for 5+ years but there you are.

A reasonable film, you would call it a romantic comedy drama. There are some funny scenes but also a lot of tweeness.

Detour (1945)

A satisfying little noir told in flashback. Al (Tom Neal) and Sue (Claudia Drake) are working in a two-bit bar out East. Although engaged to marry, Sue decides to head to Hollywood leaving Al behind. Al finally decides to go out and join her and begins hitch hiking across the U.S...

In Arizona his luck changes. He hitches a ride with Charles (Edmund McDonald) who can take him all the way to L.A. but Charles dies of a sudden heart attack. Fearful that the police might think Al did Charles in he decides to hide the body and take Charles' identity and head to L.A. Then he makes his biggest mistake, he picks up Vera (Ann Savage) who knows Al is not Charles and begins to blackmail him...

Although a low budget B-movie this is a top quality noir. The cheapness and dinginess of the sets adding to the feel of hopelessness and dark fate. The story may have a few slightly far fetched elements but that doesn't distract from what is a masterpiece.

Treasure of Bruce Lee (1979)

Bruceploitation films are not always bad, some indeed are pretty good even if they are shameless cash-ins on Bruce Lee's name, but Treasure of Bruce Lee is pretty mediocre. Master Chen is training four pupils including Bruce Le. With the Japanese poised to invade China, Master Chen knows the importance of his ancient skills, details of which are kept in a book... which the Japanese led by Vivian Velasco are desperate to get.

Master Chen challenges his four pupils to protect the book, though one of them Cha Ya-Fan turns out to be a traitor. So far so good (if unsurprising) but then the film makers decided to splice in footage from another Bruce Le film which throws everything into confusion...

So it could have been a reasonable martial arts film but everything just goes wrong. The scenes showing kung fu training though is interesting. Everything else is... not so much.

Passenger to London (1937)

A British agent is bring some retrieved government documents back from Paris but he is being hunted by enemy agents and is killed on the train to the coast. He manages to hide the plans in the luggage of fellow passenger Barbara Lane (Jenny Laird). Frank Drayton (John Warwick) is on a mission to retrieve the plans.

Frank hunts Barbara down to a cheap hotel owned by the ridiculously haughty Dorothy Dewhurst. Frank hits it off with Barbara though finds it difficult to find the plans. The enemy agents are meanwhile also closing in on Barbara and the plans...

A fun little quota quickie. The story is a little limited, some of the characters a bit one dimensional (especially the enemy agents Vautel (Paul Neville) and Veinberg (Ian Wilmot) who are almost self-parody) but Warwick and Laird work well together. The film is short and doesn't waste much time.

Cause for Alarm! (1951)

Ellen (Loretta Young) seems to be the perfect all-American housewife in the early 1950s, doing the vacuuming in her lovely frock while also nursing her ill former serviceman husband George (Barry Sullivan). But all is not well, George thinks his wife is killing him...

Overcome with paranoia (as well as a weak heart) George thinks Ellen is having an affair with Doctor Grahame (Bruce Cowling) and slowly poisoning him. Finally George gets a gun to kill Ellen but keels over dead. But the nightmare has only just begun for Ellen. George had written a letter to the DA detailing his paranoid fears. Now with a dead George who will believe it was a delusion. Ellen must get that letter back!

So its a film about trying to get a letter back, but also so much more. In flashbacks we learn more about George's character and it isn't good. Ellen also makes herself more suspicious and guilty the more desperate she becomes... A simple but well made little piece of domestic noir. The plot stretches credulity a bit though.

Day of the Panther (1988)

There haven't been many Australian martial arts films but this is one of them and while largely unexceptional is a fun enough ride.

Jason Blade (Edward John Stazak) is a top martial artist and special branch officer in HK who comes to Perth after his partner Linda (Linda Megier) is killed investigating the criminal Zukor (Michael Carmen) by his head henchman Baxter (James Richards).

Blade joins Zukor's gang as part of his plan to get close and finally get revenge. The Perth police meanwhile want him out of town as Zukor is an important man, and a drug lord...

Well forget the plot it isn't really important. Or the (lack of) acting. These kind of films are about the fighting, and there is a lot of it. Some of it is pretty good too amid the mostly ill-judged tomfoolery and awful 80s fashions. Stazak is a pretty good fighter, which is just as well as he isn't that good an actor.