Shadow of Chinatown (Serial) (1936)

A rather dreary serial, which even Bela Lugosi can't save.

A European import company is trying to put Chinese businesses out of action in Chinatown. The company is led by the Dragon Lady (Luana Walters) who hires Poten (Lugosi) to aid her. Poten is a mad racist who runs a string of crazy plans against the Chinese, foiled over and over again by keen reporter Joan (Joan Barclay) and her sweetheart Martin (Bruce Bennett)... oh and the police too. Things come to a head when Poten disguises himself as a Chinese waiter and plants to poison everyone at a banquet...

To be honest the final act is rather lame after a series of death defying cliff hangers which doesn't really make the struggle to get there that worthwhile. The serial isn't the most thrilling example in the genre, don't expect any death rays or other mad science. Do expect some rather awkward dialogue, sloppy execution (even by the usual standard of serials) and dated stereotypes. 

The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

Low budget, average thrills, high unintentional humour in this sci-fi horror nonsense.

Steve (Alex Rebar) is the only survivor of a mission into deep space. However, he may have survived but he has been horribly deformed... literally melting flesh. He is also driven crazy with a taste for human flesh, after eating a nurse he escapes the hospital. Dr Nelson (Burr DeBrenning) is tasked him tracking down Steve (who apparently is radioactive as well as melting) before the secret of Steve's fate reaches the public... and before he wiped out too many people. Dr Nelson is under pressure from General Perry (Myron Healey) who seems to like eating his breakfast in a power station control room.

This is a ridiculous film with many strange scenes including one where Nelson speaks to a colleague while travelling on a large flat bed trolley, the engine sound almost drowning out the dialogue! The attack scenes by Steve are very silly but it can be scary at times as well. The title is the best bit of the film though.

Charlie Chan at the Wax Museum (1940)

Charlie Chan in a murder mystery at a wax museum, you just know this is going to be good.

For a change Charlie Chan (Sidney Toler) is the target in this film. McBirney (Marc Lawrence) has been convicted and sentenced to the electric chair thanks to Charlie but he absconds from the court house. 

He hides at the crime wax museum of Dr Cream (C. Henry Gordon), who has a secret side line in plastic surgery for the criminal fraternity. McBirney, now bandaged up, concocts a plan to lure Charlie Chan to the museum where he can kill him. His elaborate theatrical plan A doesn't work (though someone else dies) but locked in the wax museum, with a cast of various character types, on a stormy night the danger is not yet over for Charlie!

This is a fun film with plenty of dark (though frequently absurd) atmosphere. The wax figures from the world of law and order and crime add to the fun, including a wax figure of Charlie Chan which proves useful to Charlie and his Number Two Son's (Victor Sen Yung) plan to uncover the murderer. One of the best Charlie Chan films.

P.O.W.: the Escape (1986)

David Carradine and his buddies kill the enemy so easily you wonder just how the US lost the Vietnam War?

With the Vietnam War drawing to the close the US are desperate to get their men held prisoner by the North Vietnamese. Colonel Cooper (Carradine) is captured on an unsuccessful raid on a prison camp and ends up a prisoner himself in a camp under the control of the brutal Vinh (Mako). However, Vinh is not a true believer, he in fact wants to flee to the US with a load of gold he has stolen. He manages to persuade Cooper to help him escape, in return for letting Cooper and the other prisoners flee.

But the escape is a difficult one, with the North Vietnamese Army pursuing them and dissent between the US soldiers themselves. This includes Sparks (Charles Grant) who wants the gold for himself and isn't afraid of killing friend or foe to get it...

So, this is gung ho nonsense of course but is terrific fun if you fancy a bit of mindless war action. It is a very butch film, the only female character being a bar girl (Irma Alegre) who spends most of her screen name naked! A high body count makes up for a meagre plot.

Super Seven Calling Cairo (1965)

The success of James Bond in the 1960s sparked a whole wave of copycat films of various quality, this one isn't bad at all.

Super 7 (Roger Browne) is a British agent who is tasked to find a sample of a new super secret radioactive material which has been hidden in a camera. Super 7 heads to Cairo to find that the camera has been sold to a tourist by mistake. Unfortunately the bad guys led by the rather sinister ex-Nazi Alex (Massimo Serato) are also after the material and are quite happy to leave a trail of dead and broken bodies behind them.

Of course as this is a James Bond pastiche there are a number of beautiful women (including Fabienne Dali and Rosalba Neri) involved, some foes and some friends though as the film progresses its hard to know which is which...

This is a fun film that is quite outrageous in how it copies Bond but really thats how it should be. Fairly low budget but full of action.

Bruce, Kung Fu Girls (1975)

Somewhat awful and fairly exploitative kung fu action.

Five young girls including Polly Kwan are training in the martial arts. They chance upon a young man being chased by thugs and save him from a beating, the girls doing the fighting in their bikinis (natch). The man says he has developed a new secret formula which the thugs want to make money out of. The girls are sent by their uncle to help the police in HK with a series of crimes. Much bad kung fu action ensues.

This is not a film to be taken seriously, the action is frequent and goes on a bit too long and not that well executed either with fists and kicks frequently missing their targets though are sold like crazy. There is also a lot of whimsical humour and nonsense. Not high art but it does it's job of passing a bit of time especially if you like pretty young women in hot pants doing high kicks.

Despite the title Bruce Lee (not even Bruce Le) is involved in this film in any shape or form!

The Midnight Warning (1932)

Although at times this B-movie can be a bit rough around the edges, an interesting plot more than makes up for any short comings.

Dr Walcott (Hooper Atchley) meets his friend Cornish (William 'Stage' Boyd), the detective, at his hotel. Cornish tells him he has found something unusual in the hotel room fire place... a human ear bone! Then Walcott is shot by a sniper from outside the hotel (luckily just a glancing wound). Cornish and Walcott begin to investigate what is going on, the hotel management curiously seem to pooh-pooh the shooting. 

A young woman called Enid (Claudia Dell) is spotted at the house where the sniper was located. She was a former guest of the hotel but involved in a strange case where her brother went missing, the hotel management then acting like they didn't know her or that her brother had ever been there. The management are up to no good for sure, and kidnap Enid and lock her in a morgue...

Although the acting and staging is a little patchy at times and the pacing can be a bit slow, it doesn't really matter too much as the plot is really rather interesting and unusual. Quite why is a random sniper shooting at guests in the hotel? Where did Enid's brother go? The answer is pretty surprising.

Lure of the Islands (1942)

Flimsy tropical adventures, a mish mash of music, comedy and wartime espionage that doesn't quite work.

Wally (Robert Lowery) and Jinx (Guinn "Big Boy" Williams) wash up on a Pacific island, they claim their boat was torpedoed by the Japanese but really they are US agents (FBI though that doesn't make any sense) looking for Japanese military activity. Wally also discovers Tana (Margie Hart) who wants to marry him in order to escape the island...

The film is a bit of a romp, plenty of musical numbers (some of which arn't very South Sea Island-ish) and some goofy humour. The main plot about Japanese plans to invade the island thanks to Nazi collaborators can sometimes become a bit lost. The film is a vehicle for Margie Hart, the less said about her acting the better though her singing is good.

Tarzan and the Trappers (1960)

Much wildlife stock footage pads out a thin but reasonable Tarzan jungle adventure.

Schroeder (Leslie Bradley) is a big game trapper who takes no notice of laws or basic decency and raids the jungle of animals to sell. When Tarzan (Gordon Scott) interrupts his activities, Schroeder kidnaps Tarzan's son (Rickie Sorenson) and threatens him but Tarzan defeats him. Schroeder's brother Sikes (Sol Gorss) is out for revenge and heads to the jungle for a new hunt but this time his game is Tarzan himself!

This is a TV movie edited from three never shown episodes of a TV series. As with most of these kinds of stories the action obviously takes place in a studio but with lots of stock footage of wild animals. Jane (Eve Brent) does not do a great deal but Cheta the chimp is a great star. Gordon Scott's impressive physique is probably the biggest highlight.

Timelock (1995)

A terribly poorly made low-budget science fiction film that somehow is brilliant.

We are in the future and prisoners serve their time on brutal prison asteroids. Riley (Arye Gross) is on a prison transport to serve his time but his fellow cons including Villum (Jeffrey Meek) have dark plans to take over the prison and release the hyper dangerous McMasters (Jeff Speakman). Riley has to team up with the transport pilot Teegs (Maryam d'Abo) in a desperate battle for survival.

This is complete nonsense and has the budget of a cheese sandwich. The lack of budget is hidden in that time honoured way by making sets as dark as possible. So, this film should be awful but because the performances of the leads range between highly charismatic and downright camp the film is very watchable and the sheer craziness of some of the events is quite compelling viewing. 

It really shouldn't work but somehow..

No Hands on the Clock (1941)

A complicated and fast moving crime drama.

Humphrey (Chester Morris) is a private detective who is good at finding people, in fact he married Louise (Jean Parker) who he managed to find! Humphrey is sent, even though he is on his honeymoon, to Reno to find a missing man. Unfortunately this new task soon involves Humphrey and Louise in a bank robbery, a kidnapping, various women with different hair colours, accused of murder, getting shot at and even hunted by the FBI!

This has a complicated plot with more suspects and angles every time you look. What makes the film is the banter and interplay between Morris and Parker. This gives the film a light and breezy air and is highly entertaining, even if its hard to really know whats going on half the time.

The Street Fighter (1974)

One of the most violent films ever made, a brutal martial arts epic.

Terry (Shin'ichi Chiba) is a master of karate and kung fu who trades his skills for evil. He is hired to kidnap the daughter (Yutaka Nakajima) of a business man by the yakuza and mafia in order to secure a lucrative oil deal. However, when the mobsters refuse his price they try and kill him. Terry instead switches sides to protect the daughter after all...

And much bloody violence ensues. The film goes out of it's way to portray the savagery of the violence including in one scene where we switch to an x-ray view to see how Terry's fist caves in his victim's skull! 

The story is rather simple but also confusing in the best tradition of 1970s martial arts film and of course ends with a final showdown. Exhilarating and also with some heart with Terry's rocky but ultimately doomed friendship with Goichi Yamada quite touching.

Love Bound (1932)

At times a bit dreary but ultimately the voyage is worth it.

Wilson (Natalie Moorhead) is a gold digger and black mailer who gets involved with older rich married men and then threatens to wreck their families by telling about untrue affairs if they don't pay up. 

Businessman John Randolph is one such victim, but his wife wants to leave him already. The son, Richard (Jack Mulhall) persuades his mum to stay as dad is innocent and then he goes in pursuit of Wilson on an ocean voyage. He decides to pose as another sucker to prove Wilson's scheme...

So, naturally the story has a simple idea with various layers of complexity and characters of varying importance laid on. The film is difficult to get going but is fair enough when the voyage is progressing and does indeed have an exciting conclusion. 

The Fat Spy (1966)

Teen drivel so intensely awful it will probably make you question your life decisions.

A bunch of teens head off, amid much surf guitar music, to a near deserted island. The owner of the island George (Brian Donlevy) doesn't want the island's secret discovered so he sends his daughter Junior (Jayne Mansfield) to see what is going on and get rid of the teens. What is the secret? Well that the island is where the fabled fountain of youth is located apparently. Junior is more interested in seeing her boyfriend Irving (Jack E Leonard) who lives on the island, though he is more interested in plants. Much inane antics and music (and a lot of dancing by scantily clad young people - being spied on by old men natch) take place...

So, this isn't a great film. It is light and cheaply made. So cheap in fact they ran out of money so didn't film the end of it. However, it isn't all bad (just mostly) - some of the music is in fact rather good.

Muppet Treasure Island (1996)

A wonderfully warm and enjoyable pirate and treasure tale by the Muppets.

Jim (Kevin Bishop) has a map revealing where a great treasure is, but he has no means to get there. Or does he? Luckily Fozzy Bear is the rather eccentric son of a ship owner and gives Jim a ship and a crew. 

The ship is captained by Kermit and is a fine ship but unfortunately the ship's cook is Long John Silver (Tim Curry) and he has plans of his own for the treasure...

A great fun film that is based on the classic Robert Louis Stevenson tale though the Muppets take a few liberties! The film is packed full of typical Muppet humour, physical as well as smart wordplay and puns. A brilliant film that will appeal to all ages.

Holt of the Secret Service (Serial) (1941)

A reasonable crime fighting serial involving counterfeit dollars.

A top engraver has been kidnapped by a criminal gang to make very good fake US dollars. Top Secret Service agent Jack Holt goes undercover with fellow agent Kay Drew (Evelyn Brent) - posing as his wife - to try and infiltrate the gang and discover their secret lair. After a lot of death defying cliff hangers of course!

This is a decent enough movie serial though does seem a bit pedestrian compared to many others in the genre. The story progresses from a secret hide out to a small island nation ruled by a maniac which is an interesting setting. 

But the serial never really progresses beyond interesting. It is decently made for a serial and Jack and Evelyn work well together but the serial just lacks that bit of spark other serials had.

Dead of Night (1974)

A superb horror film exploring some really dark territory.

The Brooks family is torn apart when their son Andy (Richard Backus) is reported killed in action in Vietnam. However, a few days later he turns up alive... and well? Well physically he seems fine but personality wise he seems to have completely changed, much to the concern of his father Charlie (John Marley). 

Andy seems to want to have nothing to do with his family or friends, he even kills the dog! He also seems likely to have killed a truck driver in a brutal attack. Well his mum (Lynn Carlin) is still happy...

A deliciously dark horror. Although there is some gore much of the menace is implied and laid on thick. Andy's descent into a blood drinking decomposing zombie is brilliantly portrayed with some great acting and great make-up. 

Go-Get-'Em, Haines (1936)

A decent amateur detective caper set almost entirely on an ocean liner.

Haines (William Boyd) is the kind of reporter almost compulsory in 1930s and 1940s cinema: cocky, breezy and wise cracking! He is hunting after a business tycoon who has caused the ruination of many investors. He follows the man onto an ocean liner where he presumably is making his get away.

When the tycoon is killed in an amateur dramatic performance (don't ask), Haines is granted, despite not being an actual policeman, full rein by the captain (Lloyd Ingraham) to investigate and uncover the murderer. His investigation involves an awkward drunk, shifty crewmen aboard the liner and a love interest (Sheila Terry) of course.

This is typical of crime murder mysteries of the 1930s and 1940s. A mess of styles driven by a couple of charismatic leads. It doesn't really make a lot of sense with it's various red herrings and false starts but somehow works. Although its not that original, if we are to be honest, it has good performances and is light and very enjoyable.

Alice the Whaler (1927)

Another of Walt Disney's early Alice animation / live action hybrids.

Alice (Lois Hardwick) is dancing aboard a ship with a crew of animals. The chef is a cat, for example, with a mouse as his sous chef tasked with peeling the potatoes! To be honest there isn't much plot in this film, it mostly consists of animals dancing and the occasional hijinks. The mouse plays the biggest role and isn't a very sympathetic character.

Ultimately there isn't a great deal to this short film and it isn't really that good. The Alice series of films was running out of steam but fear not, Mickey Mouse was about to make his screen debut for Disney and that changed everything.

King Solomon's Mines (1985)

With a great cast, this film ruthlessly and hilariously sends up Indiana Jones.

Jesse's (Sharon Stone) father has gone missing in Africa, and she has hired Quatermain (Richard Chamberlain) to help her find him. In fact her father has discovered the location of King Solomon's fabled mine and massive diamond wealth. Unfortunately the unscrupulous Colonel Bockner (Herbert Lom) and Dogati (John Rhys-Davies) have captured him and are trying to get the information out of him by fair means or foul (actually no just foul)...

Their adventure becomes a series of exciting though somewhat improbable action set pieces across Africa including on a train and in the air. All the time our heroes are trying to avoid getting eaten by wildlife and the natives...

A very silly film, a well done parody of Indiana Jones and the like. The jokes are corny and the action frequently improbable but that is the point. Very entertaining.

Prophet (1999)

High octane action nonsense though most people are really terrible shots!

Maddox (Don Wilson) is a CIA operative who has a mysterious ability to see the near future in flash forwards. He is tasked to arrest some members of a terrorist organisation, however they keep getting killed before he has the chance to make the arrests! Some of the people also do not seem like terrorists, they also seem to have mysterious abilities...

Maddox discovers that he and the others were used as children by the CIA for their psychic powers during the Vietnam War. He also soon realises he can't trust anyone, especially when the CIA led by Barbara Steele are turned on him...

The story is quite basic and doesn't make a lot of sense but that probably doesn't matter too much. The action is what the film is all about, and there is a lot of that. Much of that doesn't make sense either, supposedly highly trained CIA operatives aim as badly as Imperial stormtroopers, spraying fire with assault rifles but never hitting our hero! A fun film as long as you don't take it very seriously.

Mr. Washington Goes to Town (1941)

A silly but very watchable comedy, billed as the first ever feature length comedy with an all-black cast.

Jones (Mantan Moreland) and Wallingford (F.E. Miller) are in gaol. Wallingford discovers from the newspaper that Jones may have inherited a hotel from his uncle. Jones begins to dream... and the hotel in his dream is rather odd. The guests include a man who keeps turning invisible, a magician, a man with a detachable head and a gorilla! 

Meanwhile, the mortgage owner of the hotel wants to get rid of Jones and Wallingford so he can search for the uncle's fortune which is hidden in the building somewhere...

This is a film packed full of gags, many don't work or fall fairly flat but it doesn't matter because another joke will be around in a few seconds! It is frantic and energetic and great fun.

Look Out Mr Moto (1938)

Mr Moto investigates rebels planning an insurgency in the Cambodian jungle.

After aviatrix Victoria Mason (Rochelle Hudson) is forced to abandon her plane over the Cambodian jungle she is found by the men of the Rajah (J Edward Bromberg). She is also seen by some American filmmakers (Robert Kent and Chick Chandler) and Mr Moto (Peter Lorre) who is an archaeologist (well we know he isn't really but it is interesting how he is undercover using his real name!)

After Victoria becomes a virtual captive by the Rajah who wants her for his wife, plus the Americans are condemned to death by the unscrupulous priest Bokor (George Regas) who has plans of his own to take power. Mr Moto poses as a holy man to save their lives but can he uncover the separate plots by both Bokor and the Rajah to rise in rebellion against the government?

So, this is a decent jungle adventure, though has little not seen before. It has the usual characters in films like this, including some needless comic relief and the "jungle" is padded out with some stock footage of wild animals. There are some surprises though including the real purpose of one of the main characters. A fine entry in the Mr Moto series.