240-Robert (1979)

A feature length pilot for a series about the Los Angeles rescue team (which ran for two seasons).

Deputies Trap (John Perry) and Thib (Mark Harmon) work with the LA sheriff department's rescue team of highly skilled officers who can rescue people underwater, down mountains, perform emergency medical treatment and even arrest people! 

A new helicopter pilot (Joanna Cassidy) joins the team, Trap doesn't seem to like her because she's a girl (and apparently an ex). However, she proves herself and earns Trap's respect by the end of the film, and they all go home happily for tea.

It is all pretty predictable, but well made and enjoyable. We see a series of rescues which do not have much in the way of suspense and tension until the final act when the team are called upon to rescue two people who crashed their car down some cliffs. There isn't a great deal of back story for the characters, the film concentrating on their professionalism and skills instead of any dark secrets or hidden demons they may have. That is fine with me to be honest!

Death Journey (1976)

The first in a series of blaxploitation films about ex-cop Jesse Crowder, OK but seems to lack a certain something.

Jesse Crowder (Fred Williamson) is hired to escort star witness Finley (Bernie Kuby) from Los Angeles to New York for the trial of a mobster boss. Now of course the simple way would be to just take a flight but instead Crowder decides to drive across the US. 

Almost immediately the mob are after his ass in a seemingly endless series of fights with hapless henchmen. Somehow Jesse manages to get Finley safely across the US, and bed a series of young women (of course!)

The film is what it is, a decent action film with a series of action set pieces and competent if not overly ambitious action choreography. The film is enjoyable, not brilliant. It could do with a bit more pizazz, maybe a bit more 1970s cheese.

The City (1977)

A basic but enjoyable crime drama starring two actors who would soon be huge names.

Troubled youth Eugene (Mark Hamill) snaps after receiving a letter and commits the first of a number of murders and attempted murders. This sets him off on a hunt for country music star Wes Collins (Jimmy Dean) whom Eugene thinks is his father (as the letter tells him, not actually true), and who battered him as a baby (this bit is actually true!) Hunting for Eugene are detectives Lewis (Robert Forester) and Scott (Don Johnson). The hunt is personal for Lewis as Eugene's second kill was Lewis' partner Burt (Paul Cavonis)...

The plot of this TV movie is fairly straight forward, as the identity of the felon is known early on so it is a man hunt rather than a detective film. It is well structured and paced (basically feels a feature length episode of a detective TV show) and keeps your interest having plenty of action. This film was released a few months before another Mark Hamill film that did quite well at the box office, Star Wars...

Sky Riders (1976)

A perfectly fine action romp, the most novel feature being the use of hang gliders.

Terrorists kidnap the family (including Susanna York) of industrialist Jonas Bracken (Robert Culp). They are demanding a heavy price for the family's return. Meanwhile, Mrs Bracken's ex Jim McCabe (James Coburn) - the father of her son - is also alerted. 

When he sees that the police investigation led by Inspector Nikolidis (Charles Aznavour) seems to be going nowhere fast, and the police want the terrorists dead more than the hostages released alive, he decides he must go into action himself. He discovers that the terrorists are using an abandoned monastery and concocts a plan using a group of hang gliding dare devils to silently swoop in and make a rescue. The police, however, are not quite as inept as he thinks and they are also moving in...

This is a good film with a straight forward plot which leads up to an extended gun fight. The terrorists are fairly dumb though put up a good fight. The hang gliding scenes in the Greek mountains are pretty spectacular. It isn't world beating but it does the job.

Sky Heist (1975)

A classic TV movie about an audacious crime, and the hunt for gold and criminals by the LAPD air department.

An LAPD helicopter piloted by Trumbell (Don Meredith) is hijacked, the pair of hijackers wanting $100K in cash. Unbeknownst to police captain Ballard (Joseph Campanella) this is all a diversion. The criminal gang have really hijacked a plane carrying gold bullion and now have $10 million in gold bars on a disguised bus! Ballard, Trumbell and company have to try and unpick the complicated (though flawed - see below) plan by Hardings (Frank Gorshin) before it's too late...

This film just screams pilot for a planned TV series, which unfortunately was never made, which is a shame as it probably would have been pretty good. The story is straight forward, characterisation laid on hard and fast (though the characters are largely well-worn stereotypes) and the action exciting with many helicopter shots if pretty bloodless. 

Harding's heist plan is mostly well worked out and even quite ingenious though you will wonder why they didn't switch the gold from the bus to another vehicle. Though as a police detective once said, if criminals never did anything stupid then the police would hardly ever catch anyone!

The Twelve Tasks of Asterix (1976)

The Gaulish comic hero reaches the big screen, with good effect, by Toutatis!

Julius Caesar's Roman legions have conquered Gaul, well all except a small village which is holding out against the might of Rome thanks to a magic potion created by their druid. This allows the villagers, especially our heroes Asterix and Obelix to defeat Roman attacks time and time again thanks to the super strength granted by the magic potion.

Caesar tires of the Gauls, whom some Romans call gods, and challenges them to twelve tasks a la Hercules. If Asterix and Obelix can complete all of the tasks then Caesar will surrender, if they fail then the villagers will become Rome's slaves...

This is a fun adaptation of the indomitable Gauls which stays true to the storyline on the whole and is very entertaining. An inventive story, i especially liked the bureaucratic task. Voice actors in the English version include Sean Barrett and Michael Kilgarriff and they do an excellent job. 

Confessions from a Holiday Camp (1977)

The last of the Confessions series, either completely hilarious or utterly dated drivel depending on your point of view.

Timmy (Robin Askwith) and his brother-in-law Sidney (Anthony Booth) are still at it, "it" being sleeping with as many young women as possible. They are now working at a grim holiday camp, obviously this gives them plenty of opportunities. 

But then the camp is taking over by Whitemonk (John Junkin), a former prison governor, who thinks a holiday camp should be run using iron discipline. Naturally he disapproves of Timmy and Sidney. However, Sidney has the great idea of holiday a beauty contest...

This film is crude, sexist and vulgar. The humour is dated, obvious and repetitive. I loved it. This is one of the funniest films around. It is one of the final glorious examples of British saucy comedy and working class culture that was soon to be swept away by the uncertainty of the 1980s, enjoy (a bit of) it while you can.

The Brain Machine (1972)

Confusing and with a low budget, this is probably not going to go very well.

A group of people (including James Best as a priest) are selected to take part in a mysterious experiment led by Dr Roth (Doug Collins), the purpose of this experiment is never made clear but the fact the previous head of the programme ran away and ended up being executed by government agents does not bode well. 

During the experiment the patients are trapped in a room and then things take a turn for the worse, as the experiment is hijacked by secretive government agents. The patients are driven crazy, and in some cases want to kill...

The film does not make much sense, it probably needed a good edit and a bit of clarity in the plot. The paranoia builds nicely though and psychological terror in the last act is quite effective though but it takes a deal of tedium and many static shots of a swimming pool (for some unexplained reason) to get there. The IBM computer equipment is probably the real star of the film (for me anyway).

Slaughter in San Francisco (1974)

Heavy on the martial arts, even heavier on the hilariously bad dubbing.

Officer Wong (Don Wong) is a police officer in SF. He and his partner (Robert Jones) begin to encounter some strange occurrences at the police station, people mysteriously let off for crimes and others arrested even though they are probably innocent. 

After his partner is killed, Wong is off the force but investigating for himself. He discovers a web of corruption on the force, at it's head is gangland boss Chuck Slaughter (Chuck Norris)...

Despite being at first glance a rather rough around the edges (though highly enjoyable) martial arts film, there is some interesting storyline here with the corruption angle. The filming is pretty shabby though and the soundtrack completely dubbed (and awful). The fights though (and let's face it, thats why you are watching this) are brilliant. Somehow its a great film. Although Chuck Norris is billed as the main star this is really Don Wong's film, and he is very good indeed.

Colossus: the Forbin Project (1970)

A complete geek fest of retro computing and a very relevant warning for today.

The US have handed over control of their nukes to a computer designed by Dr Forbin (Eric Braeden) called Colossus. No sooner is Colossus activated then things start to deviate from Forbin's carefully worked out plan. Colossus tells them it has a counterpart in the Soviet Union called Guardian. Colossus demands to be able to contact Guardian. This is allowed but when the two computers start to communicate using their own language humans cannot understand then the communications are cut off. Colossus and Guardian launch nuclear missiles and tell the humans to restore communications or else...

The two computers are now in control, Forbin kept under constant surveillance by Colossus. Forbin has to resort to having Dr Markham (Susan Clarke) pretend to be his girlfriend so she can give him information via some naked pillow talk, the only way for Forbin to communicate without Colossus knowing. The US and Soviets devise a secret plan to stop the computers but the computers are always steps ahead...

This is a great film, full of tension as Forbin and Colossus play the ultimate cat and mouse game, unfortunately for Forbin he is definitely the mouse. The ancient computer hardware is a treat but in a world where there are real fears about AI and what it could do to us the story resonates today. 

The Neptune Factor (1973)

Somehow this film makes a plot involving earthquakes, submarines and monsters under the ocean's depths somewhat tedious.

An earthquake strikes an underwater lab, contact with which is lost. Director Andrews (Walter Pidgeon) sends an advanced mini submarine commanded by Blake (Ben Gazzara) to try and find the lab and the three lost men. 

However, Blake is pretty arrogant and thinks this is a fool's errand. His crewman MacKay (Ernest Borgnine) is much more keen on the rescue though and soon the submarine is in a dangerous situation itself...

So, the story is great, the acting accomplished and the visuals are certainly very impressive but the film lacks energy and has the pacing of a brick. Somehow the film's makers made a great story rather pedestrian. It is a great shame.

The Next Man (1976)

An interesting premise though the film does rather plod a long a bit too slowly.

The new secretary of state of Saudi Arabia Khalil (Sean Connery) - the minister's Scottish accent is unexplained - has a controversial new plan. He wants Israel to join OPEC so the Arab world can make peace with them. He also wants to sell OPEC oil cheaply to Third World nations. For some reason or other this makes him rather unpopular and the attempts to assassinate him begin.

The Palestinians hire top assassin Nicole (Cornelia Sharpe) to seduce Khalil and prepare to kill him. Unfortunately for the bad guys Nicole falls in love with Khalil which throws the plans into chaos...

The execution is too flawed in this film unfortunately which is a shame because the premise is great. Somehow a film involving international intrigue and assassins ends up being rather slow and dreary.

Mr. Mean (1977)

Blaxploitation goes to Italy, and has a cool old time.

Mr Mean (Fred Williamson), a former gangster, is hired by the Mafia in Italy to do a hit... on one of their own in Ranati (Stelio Candeli) who has bought shame on the Mafia (apparently) by indulging in the wrong kind of criminal activities. Mean is successful in his task of course but then he finds himself the target of a Mafia hit...

Williamson made this film whilst making another film, keeping it's existence a secret from the other's film's producers. Honestly, it does show. It is all rather ineptly made and frequently confusing. However, despite that it is a fairly entertaining film (though some scenes do drag) that certainly has plenty of 70s cool and some decent funky tunes. Williamson plays a good tough and butch role.

The Black Hole (1979)

Epic science-fiction mixed with a touch of the macabre.

A space mission led by Captain Holland (Robert Forster) encounters a ship thought lost on the edge of a black hole but somehow resisting the massive gravitational forces. After Holland's ship is damaged they land on the mysterious ship and encounter menacing robots as they are taken to Dr Reinhardt (Maximilian Schell). He tells Holland and his crew that he is the only survivor of the original crew. He built an army of robots to replace them and now plans to fly his ship into the black hole and discover the ultimate secret of the universe...

Holland and his team - which includes Anthony Perkins, Yvette Mimeux, Ernest Borgnine but the jolly robot VINCENT (Roddy MacDowall) - soon discover everything is not as it seems. Reinhardt's crew of "robots" are something much darker, and his chief robot Maximilian silent, evil and deadly...

This is a spectacular film with superb sets which really give a sense of scale. The science fiction is fixed with some dark religious imagery. There is also a lot of action, though Reinhardt's robots obviously went to the same shooting school as Imperial stormtroopers. The story can be a bit simplistic and slow at times but the film is a great watch and highly underrated.

One Away (1976)

A rather ropey but appealing prison escape drama.

Gypsy Tam (Patrick Mower) escapes from a prison in South Africa following an accident at his prison work party. As he tries to make good his escape, the authorities are in pursuit. His best chance for freedom depends on his brothers Ruben (Bradford Dillman), Pete (Dean Stockwell) and Elsa (Elke Sommers) plus plenty of hot motorbike action across the countryside.

This is a pretty rough film though it is pretty watchable. Everything has a certain tough yet whimsical edge to it. The motorbike chase scenes are terrific.

The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

Low budget, average thrills, high unintentional humour in this sci-fi horror nonsense.

Steve (Alex Rebar) is the only survivor of a mission into deep space. However, he may have survived but he has been horribly deformed... literally melting flesh. He is also driven crazy with a taste for human flesh, after eating a nurse he escapes the hospital. Dr Nelson (Burr DeBrenning) is tasked him tracking down Steve (who apparently is radioactive as well as melting) before the secret of Steve's fate reaches the public... and before he wiped out too many people. Dr Nelson is under pressure from General Perry (Myron Healey) who seems to like eating his breakfast in a power station control room.

This is a ridiculous film with many strange scenes including one where Nelson speaks to a colleague while travelling on a large flat bed trolley, the engine sound almost drowning out the dialogue! The attack scenes by Steve are very silly but it can be scary at times as well. The title is the best bit of the film though.

Bruce, Kung Fu Girls (1975)

Somewhat awful and fairly exploitative kung fu action.

Five young girls including Polly Kwan are training in the martial arts. They chance upon a young man being chased by thugs and save him from a beating, the girls doing the fighting in their bikinis (natch). The man says he has developed a new secret formula which the thugs want to make money out of. The girls are sent by their uncle to help the police in HK with a series of crimes. Much bad kung fu action ensues.

This is not a film to be taken seriously, the action is frequent and goes on a bit too long and not that well executed either with fists and kicks frequently missing their targets though are sold like crazy. There is also a lot of whimsical humour and nonsense. Not high art but it does it's job of passing a bit of time especially if you like pretty young women in hot pants doing high kicks.

Despite the title Bruce Lee (not even Bruce Le) is involved in this film in any shape or form!

The Street Fighter (1974)

One of the most violent films ever made, a brutal martial arts epic.

Terry (Shin'ichi Chiba) is a master of karate and kung fu who trades his skills for evil. He is hired to kidnap the daughter (Yutaka Nakajima) of a business man by the yakuza and mafia in order to secure a lucrative oil deal. However, when the mobsters refuse his price they try and kill him. Terry instead switches sides to protect the daughter after all...

And much bloody violence ensues. The film goes out of it's way to portray the savagery of the violence including in one scene where we switch to an x-ray view to see how Terry's fist caves in his victim's skull! 

The story is rather simple but also confusing in the best tradition of 1970s martial arts film and of course ends with a final showdown. Exhilarating and also with some heart with Terry's rocky but ultimately doomed friendship with Goichi Yamada quite touching.

Dead of Night (1974)

A superb horror film exploring some really dark territory.

The Brooks family is torn apart when their son Andy (Richard Backus) is reported killed in action in Vietnam. However, a few days later he turns up alive... and well? Well physically he seems fine but personality wise he seems to have completely changed, much to the concern of his father Charlie (John Marley). 

Andy seems to want to have nothing to do with his family or friends, he even kills the dog! He also seems likely to have killed a truck driver in a brutal attack. Well his mum (Lynn Carlin) is still happy...

A deliciously dark horror. Although there is some gore much of the menace is implied and laid on thick. Andy's descent into a blood drinking decomposing zombie is brilliantly portrayed with some great acting and great make-up. 

God Told Me To (1976)

Somewhat confusing maybe, and switches between more genres than you can count, but somehow its brilliant.

A number of horrific random crimes are being committed in NY, the perpetrators all saying that "God" told them to commit the crimes before they usually die themselves. Detective Nicholas (Tony Lo Blanco) thinks there is something more than meets the eye to this and begins to track down the mysterious Bernard Philips (Richard Lynch) who has been seen speaking to the perpetrators and indeed may even be directing matters.

Nicholas' investigation goes into really strange territory when it includes alien impregnation! Nicholas also begins to discover some shocking details about his own life too...

So, the film starts off like it is going to be a gritty 1970s crime story, then becomes a horror with elements of the supernatural, then sci-fi. Then the film switches back to crime with a blaxploitation-esque sub-plot about a pimp (George Patterson) who kills a cop on the take. 

Oh, there is also a sub-plot about Nicholas and the two ladies (Deborah Raffin and Sandy Dennis) in his love triangle! The story is confusing, but fast moving and multi-layered. Its great!