Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990)

An utterly incomprehensible low-budget sci-fi film. Secundus (Sven-Ole Thorsen), renegade member of the intergalactic police, has come to Earth to impregnate a human woman Sonia (Marjorie Bransfield) - with his hand. Fellow alien cop Abraxus (Jesse "the Body" Ventura), the former partner of Secundus, comes to Earth to try and stop him but refuses to kill Sonia and her alien baby.

Now some years later it appears the child has some kind of galaxy threatening equation in his head which Secundus comes back to get, leaving a trail of broken bodies while he hunts the child down. Abraxus is in close pursuit...

So it isn't hugely original and seems to take inspiration from a number of other sci-fi movies. It is also very confusing and pretty cheesy. When there is action it is reasonable if sometimes unintentionally hilarious. Jesse Ventura makes the film though with his performance, he takes being a genetically engineered supercop from the other side of the galaxy a bit too far and produces one of the stiffest acing performances of all time.

The Terror (1938)

An adaptation of an Edgar Wallace mystery, this is quite a strange story if we are to be honest. Ten years before three men carry out a robbery: Marx (Alastair Sim), Connor (Henry Oscar) and the masked mastermind O'Shea. After the robbery O'Shea betrays his fellow thieves and they end up spending ten years as guests at His Majesty in the nick.

Now they are released and vow to hunt down O'Shea and get their revenge... and the gold. But then the action suddenly switches to a mysterious guest house run by Colonel Redmayne (Arthur Wontner) with guests including the rather eccentric Mr Goodman (Wilfred Lawson). At night a spectre plays an organ and laughs evilly. Marx and Connor are in the area, is Redmayne O'Shea? Soon though Connor is found dead...

So they are a few layers to the mystery, the identity of O'Shea, who is the mysterious organ player and who is committing the murders. Of course all three could be the same person. The film is interesting rather than thrilling, like many British films of the period it can be a bit slow and wordy however some of the performances are very good especially Alastair Sim, who masquerades as a vicar, and Bernard Lee as a drunk (or is he?) It is worth sticking with the film though as the ending is excellent.

Trucker's Woman (1975)

This has to be one of the most 70s films ever. It has truckers, country music, average motel sex, badly choreographed fight scenes and some truly awful fashions. Michael Hawkins is Mike Kelly, a truck driver who is following in his father's footsteps. Though hopefully not too closely as his dad died when his truck lost brakes and crashed...

Mike is investigating what really happened to dad and is looking at the brake wires on his dad's truck quite intently. The trucking company boss Jake (Jack Cannon) is up to no good, shipping stolen goods for the mob. It appears that Mike's dad was threatening to set up his own shipping business. Was he silenced? What did Diesel Joe (Larry Drake) do to his rig?

Meanwhile Mike meets Karen (Mary Cannon) and falls for her... then discovers she is Jake's daughter. So he throws them both in a pool, after he first beats up Jake's lame henchmen...

So it is quite a straight forward plot. It is pretty low budget with some quite odd camera work at times. The film is great fun though. So bad it is good? Of course.

The Lost Zeppelin (1929)

In this early talkie intrepid airship Commander Hall (Conway Tearle) leads an expedition to the North Pole. The start of the film is rather drawn out and involves dinner parties and dress uniforms. We do find out though that Hall's wife Miriam (Virginia Valli) is in love with another man, Tom Armstrong (Ricardo Cortez) who is also going on the expedition...

If the start of the film is a bit tedious it does pick up noticeably when we actually see a zeppelin! The expedition runs into trouble and is lost (hence the title) after it crashes into the ice. America, including Miriam listens avidly at the radio for progress of the rescue... but for whom is she most anxious to hear about?

Although not perfect by any means - the opening twenty minutes drag awfully and the film suffers from the usual stilted dialogue of early talkies especially from Cortez though he would soon master sound films - the film is a solid aerial adventure with good special effects. Nice twist at the end too.

Maniac (1934)

A very strange film. Mad scientist Dr Meirschultz (Horace B Carpenter) is conducting weird experiments to reanimate the dead. His assistant is ham actor Don (Bill Woods) who, when he fails to steal a corpse for the doctor because he is scared by a cat, ends up shooting the doctor dead...

Actually Don was supposed to shoot himself so the doctor could have replaced his heart with one he keeps in a jar. He impersonates the dead doctor (instead of running away) and then begins conducting experiments on patients before he goes mad himself...

Maniac has a reputation for being one of the worst films ever made. It is a fair assessment, though the film is just so weird and off the wall as to be highly watchable despite the ineptitude, bizarre plot and strangeness going on. It has some great lines, when asked if Don has seen some missing cats and if he is using them for experiments he says he thinks too much of Satan to do that!