Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter (1974)

Captain Kronos is a Hammer horror with a difference. As well as battling vampires with wooden stakes and crosses and the usual weapons against evil, vampire hunter Captain Kronos (Horst Janson) also uses various swords including one forged from a metal cross. He is in a small village along with his assistant and vampire expert Professor Grost (John Cater) and a maiden called Carla (Caroline Munro) whom Kronos is helping/bonking. The village has seen a number of horrific vampire attacks on young girls which leaves them as dying old women...

Kronos investigates with the help of his old comrade Dr Marcus (John Carson), but when he also falls foul of the vampires suspicion falls on the Durward family. Lady Durward (Wanda Ventham) is incredibly aged after the loss of her husband (William Hobbs) but is all that it seems?

This is not the usual Hammer fare, as well as plenty of sword play the film contains a deal of whimsy and oddness. The film is sexy and fun though also quite baffling and a little slow to get started. Although overall this is a good film it is not without it's issues. It was not the success Hammer was hoping for and unfortunately the planned series of Kronos films never came about.

Across the Mexican Line (1911)

Wartime melodrama. During the Mexican-American War, the Mexicans send Juanita (Francis Gibson) across into the American lines to seduce the enemy and find out their secrets. Juanita hits it off with Lieutenant Harvey (Romaine Fielding) who proceeds to... teach her telegraphy. An interesting first date.

However, Juanita is unable to discover the Americans' plans. She sneaks a Mexican officer into the telegraph office who captures Harvey and takes him back to Mexican lines. By now though Juanita is in love with Harvey and as he faces execution, she calls for help from the Americans thanks to her new telegraph skills...

An interesting little film directed by one of the first female filmmakers in Alice Guy Blanche. The film is rather static with the narrative driven mostly by the inter-titles. Not that unusual for it's day.

Lovely but Deadly (1981)

A truly terrible but oddly compelling and highly entertaining movie. Lovely (Lucinda Dooling) is a high school girl, who is wondering who supplied the drugs which killed her brother. 

This isn't that easy a task though as drug pushing is rampant at the school, and gangs of thugs roam the corridors in fencing outfits (really). Luckily for Lovely, she has some great karate skills and a plan. 

She infiltrates the cool group led by Mantis (Rick Moser) and this gets her introduced to creepy old guy Honest Charley (Richard Herd), who owns a chain of discount scores, and when he isn't trying to score with teen chicks he is drug running...

Now a prisoner of Honest Charley and his goons, Lovely discovers to her horror that her dopey boyfriend Javelin (Mark Holden) - part-time wannabe rock star / part-time teen shipping magnate - is heavily involved in the drug trade. The scene is set for a ridiculous showdown at the docks...

This is a crazy film, full of bad fights, pointless scenes and random weirdness. It is incredibly sloppily made as well. Spotting the boom mikes would probably be a great drinking game but you'll probably end up paralytic well before the end. All wonderful stuff and a fun film of course. Dooling is terrific in her role.

Doctor at Sea (1955)

To escape his boss' daughter (Joan Sims), Dr Sparrow (Dirk Bogarde) signs up to be the ship's doctor of a merchant ship captained by the formidable Hogg (James Robertson Justice). He finds that Hogg's ship, despite the captain's pretensions, is a dreadful old tub with booze instead of medicine and one-dimensional comedy stereotypes instead of actual crew.

Ashore on some far flung corner of the world (Brazil to be exact), Hogg finds, to his horror, he has to take the boss' daughter Muriel (Brenda de Banzie) back to Blighty, also along for the trip is Muriel's friend Helene (Brigette Bardot) who begins a romance with Dr Sparrow. However, the Doctor's medical skills are soon put to the test in more ways that one...

Although not rip-roaringly funny (though it has it's moments) this is an enjoyable romp with the right mixture of nonsense, mild smut and heart to make a typical, and very watchable, British comedy of the early post-war period.

Gamera vs. Gyaos (1967)

Although featuring the B-team of Japanese monsters, this is a perfectly decent film. A vile pterodactyl like monster called Gyaos emerges during construction of a motorway in the mountains and wrecks havoc. The boy Eiichi (Naoyuki Abe) is captured by Gyaos but is saved by the turtle monster Gamera. Unfortunately Gyaos possesses  many fiendish powers including a cutting ray that can slide objects like planes or cars in half, and also cuts Gamera's arm forcing a retreat.

The military effort is led by Dr Aoki (Yoshiro Kitahara) and Tsutsumi (Kojiro Hongo) but mankind's weapons fail over and over again against Gyaos. The beast has a number of flaws including an aversion to sunlight but he manages to thwart the human's plans. Finally, Gamera is able to bring his A-game and finally defeats Gyaos...

A decent kaiju film. Gyaos is an excellent villain, with it's harsh looks and merciless arsenal of weapons it has a real sense of menace. A sub-plot of greedy villagers trying to stop a road construction project as they want more money is a bit of a bore but fills out the running time.