Santa Claus (1898)

Possibly the earliest appearance of Santa Claus in a film, he is noticeably not quite as rotund as later on (all those mince pies obviously). A short simple film made by George Albert Smith showing Santa Claus visiting a couple of children at Christmas (sound asleep of course), but with some interesting camera effects especially for the day. A simple and lovely way to show the magic of Christmas.

Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961)

A horror spy comedy which combines several genres to produce something truly awful. After the Communists have taken over Cuba, the regime are fleeing with the state gold reserves. They hire a criminal in Renzo (Antony Carbone) to get the loot overseas, but he wants the money for himself and concocts a bizarre plot to start killing off the Cuban guards with an invented sea monster... unfortunately there is a real sea monster who is also bumping them off.

All this is being observed by secret agent XK150 (Robert Towne) who is part of the crew, though is pretty clueless. Renzo schemes to get the boat caught on the rocks so he can get the loot. However, he didn't plan on there being a real monster...

This is pretty strange stuff, an obvious parody but the problem is that it just isn't very funny. The best humour is provided by sardonic moll Mary-Bell (Betsy Jones-Moreland), plus also the sheer ridiculousness of the monster. There is also a gang member who brays like a animal instead of speaking. Very weird.

Red Dawn (1984)

Drivel but highly entertaining drivel all the same. It is 1984 and the Soviet Union is on the march, NATO having collapsed due to European liberal weenies (this is a pretty right-wing film to be honest). As a teacher bores his history class he notices paratroopers landing in the playing grounds. He goes out to see who they are and is gunned down. America has been invaded by the Cubans!

A group of kids led by Jed (Patrick Swayze) and Matt (Charlie Sheen) flee into the woods with a pick-up truck full of guns and cans of Coke. With the men in the town rounded up and Soviet tank regiments rolling into the Mid-West, there is only one thing these kids can be: the resistance. They take the name of their school football team, the Wolverines and begin a fight back!

They also make partizan warfare look rather easy as a bunch of untrained teens mow down highly-trained Russian and Cuban troops time and time again. After brutal reprisals don't stop the Wolverines, the Soviet commanders led by Bella (Ron O'Neal) and Bratchenko (Vladek Sheybal) resort to more subtle methods...

Complete nonsense and fairly brain dead fun. The battle scenes are well-done in that very Hollywood-esque way that the "bad guys" can't shoot straight while the heroes never miss. If you brush aside the ridiculous premise and often overt propaganda-ish feel then it is perfectly enjoyable.

Zoltan... Hound of Dracula (1977)

We've had plenty of films about Dracula, and Dracula's brides... but here is a film about his... dog? 

When a Transylvanian vault is disturbed, a demonic black dog and his owner are bought back to life. These were the servants of Count Dracula. Now Veidt (Reggie Nalder) and Zoltan the dog seek the last descent of their master to serve him. Veidt finds out the last Count Dracula is known as Michael Drake (Michael Pataki) and is in the US.

Veidt and Zoltan head across on a boat. Also heading to the US is vampire expert Inspector Branco (José Ferrer) who also wants to find Drake. As for Drake, he is on holiday in the woods with his family. Strange films begin to happen as the family dogs are drawn away by Veidt and Zoltan and the attempts begin to bite Drake so he can become their master. Branco arrives in time to help Drake against Veidt and Zoltan (who to be honest are  rather inept...)

A strange vampire film, often quite ridiculous and low-budget cheesy. Some of the dog attack scenes do have some genuine horror but this is soon replaced by (unintentional) hilarity. A film that is a lot of fun though lacking in too much in the way of chills. The dogs who play Zoltan and the other demonic hounds are very well done.

Charlie Chan at the Circus (1936)

Charlie Chan (Warner Oland) and his huge family take centre stage for a change as they all visit a circus while on holiday and Chan gets approached by the circus co-owner Kinney (Paul Stanton) who has been receiving threatening letters. Before Chan can do anything though Kinney is found murdered, suspicion immediately falls on an escaped gorilla. However, Kinney had many enemies and the police (Wade Boteler) suspects everyone including the trapeze artist (Maxine Reiner) and two midgets (George Brasno and Olive Brasno), Can Chan and Number One Son (Keye Luke) find the real culprit?

The crime is a complicated one, which would appear to require circus skills to carry out. Chan devises a complicated scheme to draw the real murderer out into the open and there is a genuine surprise when it is completed. Number One Son genuinely proves his worth (even saving his father's life) for a change and not just provides the comic relief. Not quite the best Charlie Chan film but certainly a very good entry in the series.