Thursday, April 21, 2022

Die Monster Die! (1965)

An enjoyably creepy horror film.

Stephen (Nick Adams) arrives in a remote English village, asking for directions to the country house where his fiancé lives... but no one will tell him! He somehow finds his way there anyway and receives a cold welcome from his future father-in-law Witley (Boris Karloff) but Susan (Suzan Farmer) insists Stephen stays. The house is a really weird one, with ghastly howls and mysterious movements at night.

Finally, Stephen and Susan discover a greenhouse full of enormous plants and hideously deformed creatures. Stephen suspects radiation from a strange glowing green rock is causing the mutations...

The film is a grower, the horror and suspense starts off low-key and implied rather than shown. The film loses some of it's power when we do see what is behind the horrifying noises to be honest as they sometimes look a bit ridiculous. A decent horror film from the period though with a little room for improvement.

Wednesday, April 20, 2022

Final Justice (1984)

A ridiculous film but certainly fun.

Deputy Geronimo (Joe Don Baker) is a tough (though also rather large) Texan lawman. His friend is gunned down by Mafiosi Palermo (Venantino Venantini), but Geronimo arrests him. Palermo is to be extradited back to Italy, Geronimo is sent to accompany him. However, mysterious engine trouble means the plane lands in Malta instead. Palermo is soon rescued by his henchmen.

Geronimo seeks to recapture Palermo with the help of a young policewoman (Patrizia Pellagrino), much to the annoyance of the local police (Lino Grech), and the Mafia. Geronimo gets into many scrapes, and a number of gunfights. He also gets into a rather bizarre bar fight where he fights people with rather terrible props. It ends up in a dogged battle to the death with Palermo... eventually.

This isn't a good film by any measure though is bizarre and silly enough to be very watchable. Geronimo, with his stetson, cowhide jacket and great size stands out a mile in every Maltese scene. 

Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Topper Returns (1941)

Some rip roaring fun, in a house where things go bump in the night...

Cosmo Topper (Roland Young) ends up having to take two young ladies to their home after a car accident. At their home we discover that Ann (Carole Landis) has returned home after years in the Orient and bought her friend Gail (Joan Blondell). That night a mysterious masked figure kills Gail, though we discover that it was by accident and Ann was the real target...

Gail's ghost goes and summons Topper for help. He finds Ann's house full of mysterious characters such as Dr Jeris (George Zucco) who is looking after Ann's father (HB Warner). The house is also full of trap doors that lead to secret chambers and pits full of water, which Topper's unfortunate chauffeur (Eddie Rochester Anderson) discovers a number of time. Can Topper and Gail's ghost discover the truth before the hooded figure strikes again at Ann, or the police (Donald MacBride) interfere...

This really is a romp where the kitchen sink is thrown at the screen, every dark house cliche you could think of is deployed along with plenty of humour and nonsense. Is it a comedy, crime mystery, even a horror? All three to be honest, somehow it all holds together as a highly entertaining film. Topper's wife (Billie Burke) is hilarious in her role and there is a rather superb twist...

Monday, April 18, 2022

Carry on Up the Jungle (1970)

The Carry On team send up Tarzan films superbly.

Professor Tinkle (Frankie Howerd) is in Africa hunting for rare birds (no, the feathered kind!) He is being guided by big game hunter Boosey (Sid James) and accompanied by Lady Bagley (Joan Sims) who is still looking for her long lost son who disappeared in Africa many years ago. Her son is in fact now Ugh (Terry Scott) who has grown up in the jungle, swinging between the trees in vines like Tarzan. Unfortunately unlike Tarzan, Ugh has not learnt how to not crash in anything...

Tinkle's party faces wild animals, cannibal tribes and finally are captured by Amazons who require the men for mating. The King of the tribe, Tonka (Charles Hawtrey) turns out to be Lady Bagley's long lost, and presumed eaten, husband! Meanwhile, Ugh has fallen in love with Lady Bagley's maid June (Jacki Piper)...

It is all a hilarious and crude mess, with many wonderfully dreadful puns and sexual innuendo. Quite what the blacked up Bernard Bresslaw was saying to the "natives" is unknown, and they didn't have any idea either!

Friday, April 15, 2022

Diary of a Madman (1963)

A classic horror performance from Vincent Price.

After a funeral, a group of people assemble to hear the departed last wish, to have his diary read. It reveals a dark tale as Magistrate Cordier (Price) is possessed by a dark force called the Horla which led him to commit terrible crimes. A respectable man, Cordier is possessed after visiting a condemned prisoner. It begins a tragic chain of events as he falls in love with a model Odette (Nancy Kovack), though the fact she is already married to an artist (Chris Warfield) is a complication.

Possessed by the dark force, Cordier kills Odette with the husband ending up condemned for the crime. Cordier knows he must take desperate measures to stop the evil...

A very well constructed horror with a story that builds and builds. It has a number of creepy and supernatural scenes though it is the psychological aspects of the film that are to the fore and really elevate this into something special.