Robo Vampire (1988)

What on Earth is going on here, it seems like at least three films all spliced together. Well it is by Godfrey Ho...

Thai drug lords have a highly effective though also unusual weapon in their armoury: Chinese hopping vampires! Meanwhile, anti-drug agent Tom is killed in action, but then bought back to life in a knock-off RoboCop-like manner in a highly scientific operation carried out in a battered looking spare room at the police station. This version of the robot policeman however, looks rather laughable with his silver padded jacket and helmet. He battles the vampires, and the drug barons' hoods. Meanwhile, a female agent is captured by the drug lords...

This film makes no sense whatsoever! Godfrey Ho spliced together a Thai action movie with new footage (1984's Paa Lohgan to be precise) with some new footage of the Not-Robocop fighting hopping vampires. The result is incredibly incoherent but the film is undoubtably entertaining and frequently unintentionally hilarious with it's endless but also senseless action scenes. 

This film is pretty amazing, for most of it you won't really believe your eyes and maybe you will wonder if someone spiked your drink. Just be glad a film like this exists.

The Wonderful Land of Oz (1969)

Don't do drugs kids, you might end up making a film like this.

Evil Mombi (Zisca Baum) the witch threatens to turn young Tip (Chan Mahon) into a statue after he creates a man out of a pumpkin (George Wadsworth). He runs away with his pumpkin man to the Emerald City but gets mixed up in a military coup. Tip teams up with the Scarecrow (Michael R Thomas) and Tin man (Allen Joseph) to raise their own army against the revolution...

Where do we start with this film, it is all pretty awful. The sets are cheap and basic, the acting is mostly terrible (apart from Zisca Baum who is pretty good as a witch). If you haven't suffered enough then there are some dreadful songs too. 

Oh there is a badly made puppet cow head too. Its all pretty amazing, though mostly in a bad way.

Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974)

The first in a series of British sex comedies, you'll probably love or hate it. I love a bit of it!

Tim (Robin Askwith) is working as an apprentice window cleaner for his brother-in-law Sidney (Anthony Booth). However, Tim soon realises that bored housewives are driven incredibly randy by window cleaners apparently (knww i should have taken up my grandfather's trade)... 

Whilst indulging in saucy but what are often also rather awkward situations with various ladies, Tim falls in love with policewoman Elizabeth (Linda Hayden), much to the chagrin of his Dad (Bill Maynard) who has filled the house with nicked junk...

This is a typical early 1970s British film. Saucy, smutty, grubby and tawdry with a few decent tunes. However, it is also wonderfully enjoyable. The film is pretty ridiculous and is a great fun sex comedy, maybe not boisterously hilarious for a comedy but certainly has plenty of sex. John Le Mesurier is excellent as Elizabeth's disapproving police inspector father.

The League of Frightened Men (1937)

The somewhat unlikely screen detective Nero Wolfe's second and last appearance.

A group of Harvard alumni plea for help from private detective Nero Wolfe (Walter Connolly). At least two of their number have been killed and they think Chaplin (Eduardo Ciannelli), who became accidentally crippled due to their hazing at uni, is out for revenge and is behind the murders.

Wolfe, who is housebound, sends his assistant Archie (Lionel Stander) to do the legwork. Chaplin is a popular author and some of Archie's detective work includes trying to get his hands on Chaplin's typewriter and skulking around bookshops. The plot proceeds with the usual red herrings, tangents and clues of a typical 1930s detective B-movie...

Because that is what this is, a typical film of the genre. It isn't really a Nero Wolfe movie, from what i have read of the literary character, the Wolfe in this film is quite different (which is probably why the movie series ended with this one). So, treat it like it is, a decent if not overly brilliant detective film. It certainly has a great title. 

Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957)

Teenagers versus little green men, not as terrible as you might expect!

A UFO lands near a small town, the aliens having large heads and eyes and fingers that spread venom. They are encountered by some of the town's "teenagers" (who look on average 27) who are busy on Lover's Lane doing teenager things. When Johnny (Steven Terrell) and Joan (Gloria Castillo) run down one of the aliens all their troubles start, especially with an incredulous police force. Little green men eh? 

The US military know about the UFO though, and manage to blow it up. They blame the explosion on a jetplane crash, however a group of the aliens are still running rampant through the countryside worrying cattle. Looks like the teens may have to save the day...

A low budget science-fiction film, and often pretty silly and cheesy. However, the film holds together, remarkably well despite everything. Its a fun film and a decent watch.