The Edge of Hell (1987)

Years ago in a remote farmhouse a kid watches his parents killed by the Devil who lives in the fridge (next to the bacon we assume). Now an 80s hair metal band turns up at the same farmhouse to record an album (for some reason a 24-track recording studio is in the barn), what could go wrong?

A lot obviously as the members of the band led by John (Jon Mikl Thor) start to act rather strangely and start to die just as strangely, killed off by monsters who look like the Muppets on LSD. But then... after several monster murders and lengthy sex scenes, there is a massive twist which completely changes the direction of the film and seems to render everything that has taken place before as meaningless...

Well these kind of low budget films are supposed to make little sense but... well no idea what was going on in most of this. It doesn't really matter as the final act is fantastic and utterly over the top and ridiculous. It is a cheese filled masterpiece.

Bulldog Drummond Escapes (1937)

Fast paced adventure with gentleman adventurer Bulldog Drummond (Ray Milliand). Newly arrived back in Blighty (where everywhere is covered in thick fog all the time of course) he is soon drawn into a plot to defraud Phyllis (Heather Angel) out of her inheritance in a dark, somewhat sinister, country house.

Bulldog Drummond is soon drawn into a game of cat and mouse with the crooked Merridew (Norman Porter) and his associates who are involved in a counterfeiting operation. Drummond has help too of course including Algy (Reginald Denny) and Tenny (E.E. Clive) though Phyllis also proves a dab hand with a bottle...

It is light and pretty fast and furious, and undoubted fun. It maybe could do with a bit more grit, the film has plenty of violence but it played a bit light to allow it to be taken seriously. Overall though a good film but just wish that damned fog would have lifted!

Angels Revenge (1979)

Apparently we needed a Charlie's Angels rip-off after all? A group of women from different backgrounds aka stereotypes (school teacher, Las Vegas entertainer, model et cetera) are drawn together by a shared dislike for drugs and drugs pushers and form a commando group in matching cute white outfits...

The film starts right in the middle of the action as the group (which includes Jacqulin Cole, Susan Kiger and Sylvia Anderson) attack a ragtag compound in the middle of the woods which apparently is a drug processing plant. Amid much gunplay, and an attack by a rather cheap and flimsy looking combat vehicle, the drug gang is defeated but then we jump back to find out exactly what is going on and how the attack came about... this includes Jack Palance as a drug baron, a song in a night club and some beaten up kids. Goofy action on a beach and some of the most ridiculous right wing extremists you'll ever see.

Naturally it doesn't really make a lot of sense and is a low budget exploitation film making the most of attractive women in tight spandex fighting the drug gang. It is low on film making quality but high on cheese. Enjoyable enough if not taken seriously at all.

Renfrew of the Royal Mounted (1937)

A singing Mountie film, a little sub-genre popular in the late 1930s. Renfrew (James Newill) is the singing Mountie this time, on the trail of counterfeit money.

The printing plates are being made by ex-con Bronson (Herbert Corthell) who is being forced to continue his old trade by brutal gangster Angel (Kenneth Harlan) who holds Bronson's daughter Virginia (Carol Hughes) a virtual prisoner. Renfrew however is on the trail and follows them to a hunting lodge where his old friend George (William Royle) works as the world's most stereotypical Italian...

So the plot is basic but the action is continuous and the film is enjoyable despite the either wooden or over the top acting from most of the cast. The Mountie always gets his man of course. Thankfully the songs are kept to a minimum.

Girls Without Tomorrow (1992)

Another hard tale of life as a prostitute in HK. The lives of three of them, a mamasan and her daughter, now a film star, intertwine as the prostitutes get into various troubles, and the mamasan is shunned by her daughter who in turn has to whore herself on the good old casting couch... As you might expect with a HK film from this era it isn't subtle.

The troubles of the girls are myriad, one girl Carina Lau has the problem of not being able to drink anymore and ends up having to leave the hostess job she was highly successful in. She ends up as a jobbing prostitute and is paid to take a very young looking Ekin Cheung's (in his first film) virginity... and of course he falls in love with her...

The film is actually very good, though sometimes a bit confusing with so much going on and the story switching rapidly between the various sub-plots. There is everything here that makes a great HK film: drama, action, humour and a heap of star power. It all comes together with a very powerful funeral scene.

The Mystery Squadron (Serial) (1933)

One of the better serials. A mystery squadron of fliers led by the Black Ace is attacking a dam that is under construction by Stephen Grey (Lafe McKee) and his daughter Dorothy (Lucile Browne). The foreman Hank Davis (Jack Mulhall) hires his flier friends Fred (Bob Steele) and Jellybean (Guinn Williams) to help protect the mine...

But they soon run into trouble with the fiendish Black Ace and his team of fliers who possess biplanes with flamethrowers! Thanks to hidden panels and rooms seemingly everywhere the Black Ace always seems to be one step ahead and his identity remains a mystery...

It is of course break neck action with plenty of stunts and cliff hangers. The plot may have more holes than the skin of a biplane that has been in combat but the story moves so quickly there isn't time to dwell on it!

The Terrornauts (1967)

Really strange British science fiction. Dr Joe Burke (Simon Oates) is convinced there are intelligence creatures out in space and is searching for them fruitlessly at a radio observatory with the help of Ben (Stanley Meadows) and Sandy (Zena Marshall).

When they finally make contact with aliens in the asteroid belt they are kidnapped along with accountant Mr Yellowlees (Charles Hawtrey) and the tea lady Mrs Jones (Patricia Hayes). Yes Charles Hawtrey in a science fiction film, its a sign the film doesn't really take itself very seriously.

So it is all rather Dr Who in look and the level of special effects. It has an interesting science-fiction plot, especially for it's day. The reason for the alien kidnap in fact turns out to be for the good of mankind...

Waterfront Lady (1935)

Ronny (Frank Albertson) is made a partner by the owner of a gambling boat. However when a gangster is killed during a police raid Ronny is on the run, having been set up by his boss. He pretends to be a mariner waiting for his fisherman friend.

He meets young Joan (Ann Rutherford) while looking after her drunk gambling father (J. Farrell MacDonald) and falls in love. Thus he decides to stay around despite the police still looking for him. Love begins to blossom but you just know what sooner or later Ronny's real identity will be revealed...

So it is quite predictable but an enjoyable film. A mix of crime drama and romance with some good performances including from Ann Rutherford in her first starring role.

Death Promise (1977)

Low budget 70s martial arts antics.

Residents at an apartment block are under pressure from unscrupulous landlords who want to kick them out so they can make millions from selling the land. The landlords happily use every dirty trick they can to try and kick out the residents (like releasing rats in the block and even burning it down) as they are evil.

Louis (Bob O'Connell) is leading the residents against the landlords but when he is killed his son Charley (Charles Bonet) decides to use his knowledge of the martial arts to get revenge amid much awkward violence...

So it is complete nonsense and looks like it had a budget of about $5 but is a lot of (unintentional of course) fun. Most of the fighting looks like kids pretending to be Bruce Lee but that's OK, if you are going to copy someone copy the best!

Won in the Clouds (1928)

A passable action film, with some good aerial stunts, though a bit too much on the exploitative side. It is set in Africa and thus everyone is either in native dress or a leopard!

In deepest darkest Africa is a diamond mine where the manager Woods (Joseph Bennett) is up to no good and aiming to cheat the mine owner. Dr James (George B French) comes up to the mine from the city to check on Woods and also to see why the locals are dying of a mysterious disease. The witch doctor was no help. When James and his daughter Grace (Helen Foster) get into trouble the mine owner sends his stunt flying daredevil son Art (Al Wilson) to sort things out...

There follow a number of cliff hangers and various escapades. The film is more like an edited serial. To modern eyes it is dated tosh but not without charm. Al Wilson was a real stunt flyer who would tragically died in a plane crash while doing stunts a few years later.

The Gay Nighties (1933)

Bobby Clark and Paul McCullough were a vaudeville act in the 1920s and 1930s who made some comedy shorts in the 1930s. Rather zany, rather odd and, while patchy, not that bad.

Here they are the campaign mangers of a politician (James Finlayson) at a convention. Their job is to discredit their boss' rival and... well that is the vague plot. The film is mostly a series of jokes and slapstick, some of it quite risque. It doesn't always work but when it does it is funny. A short feature, just enough to not outstay it's welcome.

Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990)

An utterly incomprehensible low-budget sci-fi film. Secundus (Sven-Ole Thorsen), renegade member of the intergalactic police, has come to Earth to impregnate a human woman Sonia (Marjorie Bransfield) - with his hand. Fellow alien cop Abraxus (Jesse "the Body" Ventura), the former partner of Secundus, comes to Earth to try and stop him but refuses to kill Sonia and her alien baby.

Now some years later it appears the child has some kind of galaxy threatening equation in his head which Secundus comes back to get, leaving a trail of broken bodies while he hunts the child down. Abraxus is in close pursuit...

So it isn't hugely original and seems to take inspiration from a number of other sci-fi movies. It is also very confusing and pretty cheesy. When there is action it is reasonable if sometimes unintentionally hilarious. Jesse Ventura makes the film though with his performance, he takes being a genetically engineered supercop from the other side of the galaxy a bit too far and produces one of the stiffest acing performances of all time.

The Terror (1938)

An adaptation of an Edgar Wallace mystery, this is quite a strange story if we are to be honest. Ten years before three men carry out a robbery: Marx (Alastair Sim), Connor (Henry Oscar) and the masked mastermind O'Shea. After the robbery O'Shea betrays his fellow thieves and they end up spending ten years as guests at His Majesty in the nick.

Now they are released and vow to hunt down O'Shea and get their revenge... and the gold. But then the action suddenly switches to a mysterious guest house run by Colonel Redmayne (Arthur Wontner) with guests including the rather eccentric Mr Goodman (Wilfred Lawson). At night a spectre plays an organ and laughs evilly. Marx and Connor are in the area, is Redmayne O'Shea? Soon though Connor is found dead...

So they are a few layers to the mystery, the identity of O'Shea, who is the mysterious organ player and who is committing the murders. Of course all three could be the same person. The film is interesting rather than thrilling, like many British films of the period it can be a bit slow and wordy however some of the performances are very good especially Alastair Sim, who masquerades as a vicar, and Bernard Lee as a drunk (or is he?) It is worth sticking with the film though as the ending is excellent.

Trucker's Woman (1975)

This has to be one of the most 70s films ever. It has truckers, country music, average motel sex, badly choreographed fight scenes and some truly awful fashions. Michael Hawkins is Mike Kelly, a truck driver who is following in his father's footsteps. Though hopefully not too closely as his dad died when his truck lost brakes and crashed...

Mike is investigating what really happened to dad and is looking at the brake wires on his dad's truck quite intently. The trucking company boss Jake (Jack Cannon) is up to no good, shipping stolen goods for the mob. It appears that Mike's dad was threatening to set up his own shipping business. Was he silenced? What did Diesel Joe (Larry Drake) do to his rig?

Meanwhile Mike meets Karen (Mary Cannon) and falls for her... then discovers she is Jake's daughter. So he throws them both in a pool, after he first beats up Jake's lame henchmen...

So it is quite a straight forward plot. It is pretty low budget with some quite odd camera work at times. The film is great fun though. So bad it is good? Of course.

The Lost Zeppelin (1929)

In this early talkie intrepid airship Commander Hall (Conway Tearle) leads an expedition to the North Pole. The start of the film is rather drawn out and involves dinner parties and dress uniforms. We do find out though that Hall's wife Miriam (Virginia Valli) is in love with another man, Tom Armstrong (Ricardo Cortez) who is also going on the expedition...

If the start of the film is a bit tedious it does pick up noticeably when we actually see a zeppelin! The expedition runs into trouble and is lost (hence the title) after it crashes into the ice. America, including Miriam listens avidly at the radio for progress of the rescue... but for whom is she most anxious to hear about?

Although not perfect by any means - the opening twenty minutes drag awfully and the film suffers from the usual stilted dialogue of early talkies especially from Cortez though he would soon master sound films - the film is a solid aerial adventure with good special effects. Nice twist at the end too.

Maniac (1934)

A very strange film. Mad scientist Dr Meirschultz (Horace B Carpenter) is conducting weird experiments to reanimate the dead. His assistant is ham actor Don (Bill Woods) who, when he fails to steal a corpse for the doctor because he is scared by a cat, ends up shooting the doctor dead...

Actually Don was supposed to shoot himself so the doctor could have replaced his heart with one he keeps in a jar. He impersonates the dead doctor (instead of running away) and then begins conducting experiments on patients before he goes mad himself...

Maniac has a reputation for being one of the worst films ever made. It is a fair assessment, though the film is just so weird and off the wall as to be highly watchable despite the ineptitude, bizarre plot and strangeness going on. It has some great lines, when asked if Don has seen some missing cats and if he is using them for experiments he says he thinks too much of Satan to do that!

Circus of Fear (1966)

A gang steal money from a van but in the confusion a guard is shot. The shooter Mason (Victor Madden) is sent packing to a circus (where he is summarily dispatched by a knife man). Inspector Elliot (Leo Genn) tracks Mason down to the circus and finds many mysterious things...

Including Gregor (Christopher Lee) in a black mask, a lion tamer who apparently was horribly scarred. Gregor is training Natasha (Suzy Kendall) but has a secret which the ringmaster Carl (Heinz Drache) is determined to find out. Meanwhile Gina (Margaret Lee) is in a tempestuous relationship with knife-thrower Mario (Maurice Kaufmann) and is found dead with a knife in her back...

After a high energy opening the film does bog down a bit when it reaches the circus but the various sub-plots and red herrings make for a very enjoyable film. One of Christopher Lee's more unusual roles. The identity of Mr Big who organised the robbery and performed various killings is a genuine surprise.