Future Zone (1990)

Apparently we needed a sequel to Future Force? In the future (which looks uncannily like 1990) law enforcement is now in the hands of bounty hunters, with Tucker (David Carradine) the top gun. When he tangles with a drug gang he needs help (though doesn't realise it), help does come in form of young hot shot Billy (Ted Prior) who has a secret... he is Tucker's son from the future... (Though as this is already supposed to be set in the future he is from the future's future!)

Billy can't tell Tucker this though and instead tries to win his confidence during a series of badly choreographed action scenes, culminating in a brawl in an alley way. The gangster boss Hoffman (Patrick Culliton) wants his cocaine back and Tucker dead, he kidnaps Tucker's wife Marion (Gail Jensen) leading to a final show down in yet another junkyard...

This sequel probably holds together slightly better than the original but is still a fairly low budget and low energy action film with little to justify the "future" tag and little in the way of coherence. Now there is Tucker's robot laser firing glove but as with the previous film he seems to forget all about it until he has almost been defeated!

Sing and Swing (1963)

Before the Beatles... there indeed was a British pop music scene which was thriving though somewhat overshadowed these days. Young hopeful Dave (David Hemmings) wants to hit the big time with his band of young post boys. Despite a few near misses though including Dave having an accident in a studio and meeting Kenny Ball success eludes them especially when he loses the demo tape. His relationship with Jill (Jennifer Moss) also becomes a bit rocky at times...

Well the story is very familiar, the basic template used so many times in films like this. A bit of light drama interspersed by plenty of pop tunes. Guest appearances by real pop stars including Gene Vincent, Patsy Ann Noble and those who would one day become pretty famous indeed including Richie Blackmore and Chas Hodges. A fascinating if not explosive period piece. Swinging!

A Man About the House (1947)

Two stiff upper lip single Englishwomen Agnes (Margaret Johnston) and Ellen (Dulcie Grey) own a school in rainy London but are pretty hard-up. Then they unexpectedly inherit an Italian villa near Naples from their uncle. They go out to Italy with the expectation to quickly sell the villa but are quickly seduced (in more ways than one) by Naples and the hunky Salvatore (Kieron Moore) who likes to go about shirtless as much as possible...

However Salvatore was originally promised the villa by his ex-master. Others note that he seems to be taking the loss of his inheritance pretty well. Or does he have a secret plan? When Agnes, who by now is smitten to Salvatore, falls ill is there a darker reason why?

The contrast between the repressed English and the happy Italians is amusingly large, especially as both sides are pretty heavily sterotyped in their own way. An enjoyable film though not without it's flaws.

Magnum Force (1973)

For this blog 600th review another of our all-time favourites...

"Dirty" Harry Callaghan (Clint Eastwood) faces a new threat in this film. Not criminals this time (although he does get to waste a few of course) but an enemy within. Someone, probably a rogue cop, is shooting the city's bad guys who use the court system to avoid justice. Harry at first thinks it is his old buddy Charlie (Mitchell Ryan) who has gone a bit crazy but when Charlie is killed himself he knows the answer is somewhere else...

A group of young cops who graduated together raise his suspicions. Led by Davis (David Soul) they have formed a sub-culture, a death squad. When Harry is getting too close he finds himself under fire himself. But who is their leader, he asks his superior Lieutenant Briggs (Hal Holbrook)...

A tough, sometimes sleazy, sometimes a bit exploitation-ish crime drama. There is a warning about vigilantism but really this is all about Clint Eastwood acting cool and shooting lots of people. It is of course completely ridiculous and quite over the top and very violent. It is also incredibly 1970s.

Incident in Shanghai (1938)

A love triangle in the chaos of a war zone. While Japan batters Chinese forces in the Shanghai international settlement Dr Linden (Derek Gorst) is trying to hold his group of Western and Chinese survivors together. Complication number one is when his estranged wife Madeleine (Margaret Vyner) turns up as a nurse. Complication number two is when a British pilot Pat (Patrick Barr) fighting for the Chinese arrives on the run from the Japanese...

Dr Linden treats his wife terribly, his jealously intense. Things take a turn for the worse when Pat starts to fall for Madeleine. When Pat is seriously injured only Dr Linden can save his life but will he?

A rather short and rough film with a good ensemble, with some incredibly dated stereotypes as you can imagine. It is also padded out quite a bit including a rather odd Chinese variety show though the dialogue is pretty good.

Piccadilly Third Stop (1960)

An excellent little British crime drama with noir touches. Dominic (Terence Morgan) is a toff (but poor) crook in early 1960s London who introduces US crook Joe (John Crawford) to some nice gambling dens - and soon he in danger of sampling the excellence of the NHS if he doesn't pay his bills. Dominic meanwhile has hooked up with Fina (Yoko Tani), the daughter of a foreign ambassador. During pillow talk she tells him of a ton of cash in the embassy safe and how to get to it. However Dominic is really planning on running off with Joe's wife Christine (Mai Zetterling).

Dominic lures Joe in on a plot to break into the safe, getting into the embassy basement via the London Underground. To break into the actual safe the Colonel (William Hartnell) is recruited, a professional through and through as long as he gets regular scotch. Naturally there is no honour amongst thieves, both Dominic and Joe plan to stiff the other...

A superb slice of the London underworld, ruthless amoral gangsters who think nothing of using people for gain and discarding them without a second thought - though always impeccably dressed. The film builds slowly but surely up to a grand (though pretty dark) finale and some exciting scenes on the underground tracks.

Ghosthouse (1988)

A strange horror film, poorly done at times but quite inventive. Years ago a young girl (Kristen Fougerousse) who likes killing cats quickly progresses to killing her parents with the help of an evil doll. We fast forward to the present and radio ham Paul Rogers (Greg Rhodes) hears strange music and screams over the radio waves. Naturally he decides to track down the source of the signal with his girlfriend Martha (Lara Wendel) to an empty old house in the countryside...

There they find another bunch of young people, the guy Mark (Ron Houck) is also a radio ham and it is his and his girlfriend's Susan (Mary Sellers) voices Paul heard... though they haven't made these noises.... well yet. The attacks soon come though as do the reappearances of the young girl. The attacks involve various grisly attacks involving exploding jars, killer fan blades and even a guillotine which literally cuts a teen girl in half! Meanwhile weird caretaker Valkos (Donald O'Brien) is wandering around menacing them...

The film is terrifying... as in terrifyingly badly made with the film often cutting randomly mid-scene and the usual indifferent-to-bad acting. However the horror is inventive and frequently gruesome. It is also unintentionally hilarious, especially Martha who spends most of the film in a bad mood.

Pool of London (1951)

A deliciously gritty tale of merchant seamen and crime in early 1950s London. Dan (Bonar Colleano) and his shipmates including Johnny (Earl Cameron) and Harry (Leslie Phillips) have arrived back in London. Dan has a petty smuggling thing going on but his contacts including an acrobat Charlie (Max Adrian) have bigger plans...

In fact Charlie plans a robbery stealing diamonds and use Dan to get them to the Continent. The robbery takes place but a watch man dies, Dan now knows he could get the blame. Meanwhile Johnny has sparked up an romance with Pat (Susan Shaw) but Dan asks him to take a small package onboard...

An interesting slice of early 1950s British crime and the London docks. Not without plenty of violence, crime and racism. Enjoyable is James Robertson Justice who spends his time in port locked in his cabin with a book of poetry and several bottles of brandy!

Planet of Dinosaurs (1977)

A 1970s science-fiction film thus everyone is in rather uncomfortable looking polyester jumpsuits (and big moustaches are obviously space fleet regulation for the men). A malfunction on their ship maroons the crew on an uncharted planet with few supplies and no idea when/if help is coming. One big problem is that the planet is inhabited by dinosaurs...

The survivors are led by Captain Lee (Louis Lawless) but his decisions are always questioned by butch Jim (James Whitworth) - who relishes the chance to go full caveman - and the annoying company owner Harvey (Harvey Shain) who would relish most a cool drink. The rest of the crew including Nyra (Pamela Bottaro) give random screams and grunts as the situation vaguely demands.

Much of the film is fairly aimless as they wander around swamps and hills, with the occasional monster attack. The dinosaurs are a reasonable example of stop-motion animation. The best thing about the film is the synth heavy prog rock-ish soundtrack which is oddly jarring from the actual onscreen action. Despite the film's (many) flaws it is entertaining tosh and has an unexpected ending.

The Devil Diamond (1937)

A pleasing comedy-crime caper. A cursed diamond is sent to be cut up before it can be sold on. A gang of crooks led by Morgan (Robert Fiske) however want to steal the diamond(s) and they concoct a rather bizarre plan involving them pretending to be helping aspiring young boxer Lee (Frankie Darro) train while waiting to steal the diamond.

The diamond is sent to retired diamond cutter Peter (Burr Caruth) at the boarding house he owns and is managed by his daughter Dorothy (June Gale). Meanwhile Jerry (Kane Richmond) has also turned up at the boarding plan pretending to be a researcher but really he is there to protect the diamond and foil the criminals...

The film is quite strange. The tone is quite light and the story is mostly about Lee's confusion with his suddenly disinterested trainers and his attempts to get away from love struck Yvonne (Rosita Butler). Dorothy is also interested in Jerry of course. There are also a lot of semi-comedic slap stick fights.

The Iron Mask (1929)

In one of the last silent movie epics Douglas Fairbanks reprised his role of D'Artagnan in this sequel to 1921's The Three Musketeers. King Louis XIII (Rolfe Sedan) receives news that his wife has given him a heir - but there is a problem, the heir has a twin. Cardinal Richeliu (Nigel de Brulier) fears the twin could cause trouble for France and must be kept secret. D'Artagnan's lover Constance (Marguerite de la Motte) - who had been the midwife - is banished and later dies. D'Artagnan finally discovers the existence of the twins and is assigned to act as the baby heir's guardian. However the evil de Rochfort (Ullrich Haupt) takes the twin away and raises him in secret...

Twenty years later the baby is now a man and is King Louis XIV (William Bakewell). De Rochfort arranges for the (evil and vain) twin to replace his brother. The true king is imprisoned and put in an iron mask so that no one could know of his identity. However a message is gotton through to D'Artagnan. The musketeers return for one last battle to save the true king...

A true swashbuckling silent movie epic, and also available in transitional form with a sound prologue and narration by Douglas Fairbanks Jr. Although early on the film it gets bogged down a bit with flashbacks and trivia, in the second half of the film it is non-stop action, and lots of blades of course. It is lavish and grand with exquisite sets and costumes and an army of extras, a fitting end to this era of Hollywood.

R.O.T.O.R. (1987)

A hilariously bad 1980s sci-fi action film. Barrett Coldyron (Richard Gesswein) is developing the ultimate crime fighting robot called R.O.T.O.R. (which sounds like it should be a helicopter). Those pencil pushers at City Hall are impatient and want the robot on the streets A.S.A.P. of course, Barrett quits but it doesn't really matter anyway as a mishap involving some earphones and a comb causes R.O.T.O.R. to come to life (no really). He leaves the police lab and heads off on a bike...

It isn't long before his primary program as judge, jury and executioner comes into play when he kills a civilian for... well it isn't quite clear why. The girlfriend (Margaret Trigg) flees and R.O.T.O.R. begins a relentless (though rather inept) search for her. While the police seem to be uninterested in the carnage Barrett enlists the help of a female bodybuilder / scientist (Jayne Smith) to defeat R.O.T.O.R...

R.O.T.O.R. does seem to have a lot of weaknesses though, including car horns, 1980s soft rock and string... To save money the robot cop actually just looks like a beefy man with a moustache in black leather - like someone in a Village People tribute band rather than the ultimate crime fighting machine. But there is so much to enjoy here, such as the cheesy police robot which wears a police cap, the fact Gesswein is dubbed, the fight scenes which make no logical sense. An incredible film for all the wrong reasons, but tremendous fun.

James Batman (1966)

This is a very strange film that spoofs not only James Bond but Batman as well. An evil communist organisation called CLAW is seeking to take control of every freedom loving country in the world (or Asia at least), threatening the countries with destruction if they don't obey. To combat the evil doers secret agent James Hika (Dolphy) along with Batman (Dolphy again) and Robin (Boy Alano) are sent in...

It is basically a low budget wind-up and ruthlessly takes the piss. The action is frequently quite lame, punches are visibly missed, sets are flaky, the plot is rather confusing.

However it is undeniably entertaining if only from the sheer weirdness of it all. It isn't all that far away from a mid-20th century movie serial at times in terms of tone, film quality and nonsense. The real James Bond and the TV version of Batman didn't exactly take themselves seriously either, this just takes it on another level. It is not all fun though, some of the content is rather dark, very much of it's time shall we say?

Police Dog (1955)

A fairly light police drama but not a shaggy dog story. After PC Frank Mason's (Tim Turner) partner is shot by a burglar spiv (Cecil Brock), Frank decides to become a police dog handler. Frank is given Rex to train up and look after. Frank takes Rex home but this soon causes tension and jealousy between Frank and his girlfriend Pat (Joan Rice). Frank meanwhile is also keen to find the gunman...

There is nothing too surprising here, it has the usual depictions of British life in the 1950s, everyone humble but cheerful. The dog training scenes are interesting though and Rex plays a good role (an actual retired police dog).

Christopher Lee and John Le Mesurier have cameos as fellow police officers to Frank, Lee being unkeen on dogs and getting bit!

The Rage of Paris (1938)

A delightful little romantic comedy. Young French girl Nicole (Danielle Darrieux) is in New York desperate for a job. An embarrassing mix-up brings her into contact with Jim (Douglas Fairbanks Jr) but then she is embroiled in a plot with waiter Mike (Mischa Auer) and housemate Gloria (Helen Broderick) to ensnare a millionaire Bill (Louis Hayward)...

The plan is for Nicole to marry Bill and then help facilitate Mike's dream of having his own restaurant. The plan works as Nicole and Bill are soon engaged but Jim is a friend of Bill and he realises the plot. He has plans for Nicole himself...

A fun little film, predictable and light but very well done. The film looks fantastic, much of it set in fancy houses and hotels, it is an Art Deco treat. The performances especially from Darrieux and Fairbanks Jr are also top class. Darrieux in particular gives the film such joie de vie to really elevate it to something special.

Terror at Tenkiller (1986)

A slasher horror film though one of the slowest moving ones ever. Young ladies Leslie (Stacy Logan) and Janna (Michele Merchant) head off to a remote cabin in the woods for a vacation to escape the psycho ex Josh (Kevin Meyer). Their holiday resort includes all the usual facilities: a lake, great food, peace and quiet and a maniac killing people in the night...

Although in between the fairly infrequent murders there is a lot of aimless talking and mundane activities. There isn't a huge amount of suspense as the identity of the murderer is clear. There is a creepy old man with a beard called Preacher (Dale Buckmaster) but he gets killed pretty quickly by murderous hunk Tor (Michael Shamus Wiles)...

The padding is ridiculous. The film has about twenty minutes of story. The acting, when there is some, doesn't exactly set the world on fire. The music sounds like a bored animal meandering across a set of keyboards. So it is a terrible film but if approached in the right way (ruthlessly take the piss out of it) then there is some enjoyment to be gleaned from this drivel. But not a lot.

The Guy from Harlem (1977)

Blaxploitation films were not generally known for their high production values but this film is pretty low-rent even for the sub-genre however that doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable.

Al Connors (Loye Hawkins) is a private eye covered in loud late 70s fashion who is hired by the CIA to protect a Princess (Patricia Fulton) from an African country. Some vague bad guys try and kidnap the Princess but Al foils them with some badly choreographed fighting, and also ends up having sex with her...

And then Al is given a different job (completely unrelated to the first case), a hoodlum (Steve Gallon) hires him to save his daughter Wanda (Cathy Davis) who has been kidnapped. Al saves Wanda (and has sex with her too). Al then has a showdown with Big Daddy (Wayne Crawford)...

So the film is terribly acted and has awful production values. Obviously it is also hilarious. It is a film for men in flares brawling awkwardly, a film for crazy wallpaper and flubbed lines.

American Aristocracy (1916)

The age old story: boy meets girl, boy has to fight pirate arms smugglers. Cassius (Douglas Fairbanks) is an entomologist who stumbles into the 1910s high society in a US port, which basically consists of a lot of rich men and their bored wives and daughters. Geraldine (Jewel Carmen) is one of those bored gals, she is looking for a real man...

Cassius becomes infatuated with Geraldine but he lacks the vital ingredient to get into her high society circle: a lot of cash. His new friend Percy (Albert Parker) however offers to help him pretend to be dashing and loaded. However Cassius then discovers Percy is a gun runner supplying arms to the Central Powers in WWI...

A light action comedy with the usual incredible athleticism from Fairbanks. The film is a bit slow to get started (though has some interesting satire on American society of the period) but soon warms up, maybe a bit predictably but it is enjoyable enough. The film is notable for being the first film outing of a very young Douglas Fairbanks Jr, who has a bit part as a paper boy.

The Reptile (1966)

Harry Spalding (Ray Barrett) and his wife Valerie (Jennifer Daniel) inherit the lonely Cornish cottage of his recently deceased brother Charles (David Baron). Charles died of the same mysterious affliction, and in the same horrific manner, that is plaguing the village. Though no one wants to talk about it...

Dr Franklyn (Noel Willman) is also very mysterious and rather unhelpful (though maybe because people think he is a medical doctor when he is actually a doctor of philosophy so can't help with their bad backs). He also has a strange relationship with his daughter Anna (Jacqueline Pearce), her mood also changes especially when the mysterious Malay servant (Marne Maitland) is around. Harry is eager to find out what is going on in the village and what (or whom) killed his brother but is it something beyond the realms of normal understanding? Finally Tom (Michael Ripper) the landlord helps him... er dig up some graves.

A creepy Hammer Horror and wonderfully dark it is too. We don't see the "monster" until the final act, before that suspense and suggestion is used and used perfectly too.

The House of Rothschild (1934)

A biopic on the banking family that became the richest in the world (and the subject of a million bonkers conspiracy theories of course). This film follows the Rothschild family from their fairly humble beginnings in Prussia where the family headed by Mayer Rothschild (George Arliss) are Jewish moneylenders always on the watch for the tax collectors...

After the death of Mayer his sons build a banking empire across Europe including Nathan (also played by Arliss) who founds the London branch of the family. He goes on to finance Wellington's war against Napoleon. The Duke of Wellington (C. Aubrey Smith) pays homage to Rothschild but antisemitic feelings in Europe are never far away especially from the Prussian Count Ledrantz (Boris Karloff). The film is lavish and well produced, the last few minutes becoming Technicolor.

An interesting film, much of the time is taken with a romance between Nathan's daughter Julie (Loretta Young) and Gentile Captain Fitzroy (Robert Young) which helps add a bit of heart to a film otherwise dominated by financial wheeler dealing. At times the history may have been somewhat questionable though much of the film is factual. The film was an attempt to counter growing antisemitism, the idea was noble but as the following years would sadly show a little too late...

The Lucky Dog (1921)

A decent if run of the mill comedy starring Stan Laurel as a penniless young man who has various adventures with a mongrel dog.

What makes the film notable though is that Oliver Hardy also has a small role playing a thief and this is the first time which Laurel and Hardy appear in together on screen... though with different characters compared to their later immortal double act.

Stan falls for a young woman (Florence Gilbert) who owns a poodle. Stan's dog also takes a liking to the poodle. Many high jinks to follow. A light slapstick comedy and enjoyable enough on it's own but also highly fascinating for historical reasons.

Strike of the Panther (1988)

The sequel to Day of the Panther, Jason Blade (Edward John Stazak) stars in another Australian martial arts epic. After a fairly lengthy recap the story continues from the end of the last film. Jason and Gemma (Paris Jefferson) are now an item but Baxter (Jim Richards) has escaped from prison. He kidnaps Gemma and holes up in a power station full of explosives...

In a somewhat contrived and confusing story Jason has to first face an army of ski mask wearing ninjas before he can face Baxter in a final showdown, save Gemma and stop the power station being blowing up and poisoning half of Perth!

So quite similar to the first film though maybe a little more weird, including a rather strange fight in a brothel complete with blow up dolls and a man in a chicken suit. It is also more violent with lots of sword play and garroting. As with the first film the acting is middling to poor but the action is decent and with this kind of film that is the important thing. Enjoyable nonsense.