I Cover the Waterfront (1933)

Joe Miller (Ben Lyon) is an investigative reporter and the waterfront is his beat. He is convinced that Eli Kirk (Ernest Torrence) is smuggling in illegal Chinese immigrants (though sometimes they end up drowned!) However, Joe cannot get a lead on Eli and his editor is on his case. Then Joe discovers Eli's lovely daughter Julie (Claudette Colbert) and thinks he can get the information he needs through her. Love gets in the way of his plan...

An enjoyable film, Eli Kirk is a fascinating character who thinks nothing of throwing his human cargo overboard to their deaths if the Coast Guard are approaching. The romance between Joe and Julie flows very naturally, Claudette Colbert really steals the movie though. Any scenes she is in are dominated by her presence. All the mains have some moral ambiguities to some degree which adds some needed layers to what is, on the main, a standard tale of smuggling.

The Trouble with Women (1959)

Brad (Chet Davis) has a problem, and that is women. Pesky women ruining his lovely workplace. Some of them just want to get married damn it! Luckily Brad is given a talk by his friend in Personnel and finds out that (gasp!) women are actually good at their jobs after all! 

A rather dated and unintentionally funny public information film promoting gender equality. We've come a long way, though a long way still to go. Not quite as long a way as Brad needed to go.

The Crater Lake Monster (1977)

A very strange film indeed. A meteorite crashes into a lake awakening some kind of Lock Ness like monster (with some decent stop-motion animation) and begins to eat people. So far so good. However the film is made so badly with random sub-plots and weird characters. We have a couple of rednecks Arnie (Glenn Roberts) and Mitch (Mark Siegel) who hire out boats on the lake and seem pretty oblivious to everything that is going on around them. Their attempts at humour are as painful as being eaten by a monster...

Half way through the film we suddenly see a rather botched shoot out in a liquor store, what has this got to do with the rest of the film (apart from the fact the gunman eventually ends up another snack of the monster)? Why was this character added so late into proceedings? Like much of this film it doesn't really make a lot of sense.

The Sheriff (Richard Cardella) is a hoot, early on the film he seems the laziest cop in the world but in the end is willing to take on the monster on his own with a bulldozer and a handgun.

Not a good film at all, the acting is poor, the plot and pacing all over the place and continuity mostly missing. It is good fun though, camp nonsense. The monster special effects are not bad, especially for their day.

Wheels of Fire (1985)

A rough but good (in it's own limited way) Mad Max rip-off. It is the post-apocalypse and men dressed in leather drive muscle cars with spikes and flamethrowers fighting over the remaining resources of mankind. As usual.

Our hero is Trace (Gary Watkins), a nomadic super warrior of sorts. When his sister Arlie (Lynda Wiesmeier) is captured by the evil warlord of the wastelands Scourge (Joe Mari Avellana), he seeks to get her back.

He gets help from Stinger (Laura Banks), who has a bird of prey. A powerful faction called the Ownership Army is aiming to wipe out Scourge but the evil warlord has a plan...

Low budget, ultra violent and shamelessly exploitative. Weismeier's large breasts get more screen time than most of the supporting cast. The plot is pretty basic and the film is mostly just a series of violent set pieces with large body counts. It is trashy and utterly unoriginal but undeniably entertaining.

The Steel Key (1953)

A fast moving though rather complicated crime/spy caper. A scientist who has worked on a formula for hardening steel has died in America. Johnny O'Flynn (Terence Morgan) arrives in the UK pretending to be the colleague of the dead scientist to try and find the formula. He discovers that the only man who might know the formula, Professor Newman (Esmond Knight), has just died...

O'Flynn enlists the help of a nurse at a sanatorium where Newman died. Doreen (Joan Rice) had serious misgivings on the treatment given to patients. Doreen helps O'Flynn discover that Newman is still alive, and a gang led by Dr Crabtree (Colin Tapley) are trying to sweat the information out of Newman...

A complicated plot with various double crosses and changes of identity. The film is fairly light and breezy in tone, despite a certain amount of murder and brutality... all in the crisp, chipper nature of an early 1950s British film.

Hideout in the Alps (1936)

A breezy crime caper involving forged bank notes and skis. Jim Kent (Ronald Squire) is an old lag who has been released from gaol for forgery. He vows to go straight but discovers to his horror that his nephew Gilbert (Arthur Macrae) may have got into the same game. He follows Gilbert and his niece Linda (Jane Baxter) to the Alps where he finds a forging gang using the cover of a hotel to commit their crimes.

The police in the form of Inspector Forsyth (Anthony Bushell) are in the Alps too. Jim recognises old bill already and tries to save his nephew from being caught with the help of Linda...

This is a good fun film that travels from England to the Continent and back a couple of times. It is fast paced, often feeling a bit like a serial. The film climaxes with a rather entertaining chase scene through the snow. Margaret Rutherford plays a good role as one of the crime bosses.

Welcome Back, Norman (1979)

A curious little short film about a rather inept man who returns home... and makes an incredible mess out of getting out of the airport car park! Norman (Douglas P. MacIntosh), presumably a travelling businessman, is a bit of a reverse Midas. When he reaches his car he finds the other cars are parked too close so he has to squeeze in with much discomfort. Oh no, he has left his brief case on top of his car, lets hope he doesn't run over it...

There isn't much to this film but it a little bit of fun. The bumbling ineptness of Norman resembles the hapless Captain Mainwaring. Most of the fun is from the sheer oddness of this little film, the fact it exists and quite why it was made?

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Epic psychological horror. FBI trainee Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) is bought in create a profile on the serial killer Buffalo Bill (Ted Levine). To do this she needs the help of convicted serial killer and cannibal Dr Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins). 

After Buffalo Bill kidnaps a Senator's daughter, Lecter is offered a deal if he helps. He ends up in a cage in a Tennessee courthouse, he can't escape from there can he? And can they find this Buffalo Bill?

A deliciously dark and gory horror film which has deserved it's various awards and accolades. The two leads give excellent performances, especially Hopkins who gave his character such an air of believable terror and menace.

Tintin and the Blue Oranges (1964)

There have been a number of Tintin movie adaptations, the most well known being animations but this was the second of two live-action Tintin movies made in the 1960s starring Jean-Pierre Talbot as the young reporter. In this original story Professor Calculus (Felix Fernandez) wants to end world hunger. He is sent a blue orange from a fellow scientist Zalamea (Angel Alvarez) but this is stolen by thieves.

Tintin, Captain Haddock (Jean Bouise) and Calculus head to Spain to see Zalamea. Calculus is kidnapped to help Zalamea perfect the blue oranges by an Emir who wants the invention for himself...

It is a light film, fairly fun though sometimes a bit slow. The film includes a little too much silliness and gags which often don't quite work. What does make the film at least a bit enjoyable though are the main characters, Tintin and Haddock really do look like they have come to life from the pages of a comic book. Overall though it is a bit dull which is a bit of a shame considering how great the comics are.

Ooh... You Are Awful (1972)

Dick Emery brings his comedy act to a full-length feature... and it is patchy but very watchable. Dick plays conman Charlie Tully who manages to con a rich Italian out of half a million quid by making him think his son was going to marry Princess Anne! Unfortunately the location of the money is lost to him after his partner Reggie (Ronald Fraser) is killed by gangster Sid Sabbath (Darren Nesbitt).

But then Charlie finds out Reggie had the bank account details detailed onto four young ladies. All Charlie has to do is see their bare bottoms which he accomplishes with various cons and costume changes. To make matters more complicated Sid Sabbath and the Italians are both out to get him...

The humour is a bit dated and sometimes doesn't quite hit the mark any more but this is an enjoyable film. It is often saucy and very silly. Often half-hour TV comedy shows suffer in the transition to a longer format but the story is kept going with enough variety to retain the viewer interest.

Ten Minutes to Live (1932)

A historic piece of early African-American cinema, but unfortunately not very good. A nightclub singer is offered a place in a producer's new film, though all he wants to do really is indulge in some horizontal jogging. Someone else at the club gets a note telling them they will be killed ten minutes later!

The execution is quite poor and feels like a silent movie which was later dubbed with sound (which by 1932 was rather strange). The film actually is two separate stories, the second story is nearly entirely silent. The stories themselves, which take place in the same Harlem night club, are hard to follow at times with the number of cutaways. The film does include a number of music and dance acts and it is best just to enjoy them and the odd arty touch of this film, and not the story.

The New York Ripper (1982)

A grossly over the top slash gore murder horror. A serial killer is killing young women in New York, and not just killing them but mutilating and cutting them to pieces, he also speaks with a "comedy" duck voice. He uses this to taunt grizzle NY detective Williams (Jack Hedley) who is on the case, with the help of psychologist Dr Davis (Paolo Malco).

Fay Majors (Almanta Suska) is the victim who manages to survive, suspicion then falls on a strange man she encountered on the subway (Howard Ross). But there are no shortage of strange people in this depraved film to be honest...

The film is incredibly sleazy and isn't a little misogynist. There is a lot of violence including a rather brutal eye ball slicing scene, and quite a lot of sex too. Mostly though, this film is a bit too weird to take seriously and enjoy. It is quite a spectacle though.

Dateline Diamonds (1965)

A highly enjoyable crime caper which weaves in various real pop stars and DJs into mid-1960s Swinging London. Fairclough (William Lucas) is a prolific diamond thief, however he needs a way to get his spoils out of the country. He blackmails Benson (Kenneth Cope), the manager of up and coming group the Small Faces (pre Rod Stewart), to take the diamonds aboard the radio boat in the channel where it can be passed onto Fairclough's continental contact...

Meanwhile the police Tom (Conrad Philips) and Paul (George Mikell) are finding it hard to get going with their investigation, but then they get a break when Fairclough is caught in the background of a press photo of the Faces and some information from Tom's Faces fan daughter Gay (Anna Carteret)...

As a crime drama it is a bit basic, though competent (the scene which shows in detail Fairclough doing one of his blags is fascinating) but add the pop star cameos which include Kiki Dee and Kenny Everett it is a perfect time capsule of Swinging London and some pretty good tunes.

The Friends of Eddie Coyle (1973)

A gritty and low-key crime drama. Eddie Coyle (Robert Mitchem) is an ageing con who is facing another stretch in gaol. He is trying to bargain his way to freedom by selling information on a gang of bank robbers (including Alex Rocco) to Detective Foley (Robert Jordan). However he is also supplying guns to the gang!

Unfortunately for Eddie his friend Dillon (Peter Boyle) is a step ahead of him in dealing with the law and robs Eddie of his ultimate bargaining trip and way out of the life which has ground him down...

A tough and very believable crime drama set in Boston. This has to be one of Mitchem's best roles, he looks suitably worn down after a life of crime and playing both sides. The film goes in some unexpected directions but Eddie's demise has a crushing inevitability about it.

Who Killed the Cat? (1966)

A rather slow moving but enjoyable crime drama. After the death of her husband scheming widow Eleanor (Vanda Godsell) takes control of the house and decides it is time she made her three elderly renters (Mary Merrell, Ellen Pollock and Amy Dalby) pay more money in rent than they can afford, she also wants her step-daughter Mary (Natasha Pyne) to leave school and earn her keep...

Eleanor is rather vile, spreading poison about Mary's boyfriend. Poison of another kind of spread when Mrs Goldworthy's cat is found dead...

The film does not have a lot of action or suspense but is a rather interesting period piece. Although made in the 1960s it feels like it is set decades before. It plays out like a Golden Age murder mystery and is very entertaining if you like that sort of thing.

Slander House (1938)

A nicely light bit of romance dealing with the heavy business of weight loss. Helen(e) (Adrienne Ames) runs a beauty salon, dedicated to helping overweight rich ladies lose pounds (and also plenty of dollars). She is being wooed by Dr Stallings (George Meeker), who is nice but a bit dull. He is her ticket to high society though.

Then she meets Pat (Craig Reynolds), a bit of a wise guy perhaps but with something more about him. A more interesting love match but of course things do not go very smoothly, with various obstacles in the way including jealous love rivals and dangerous gossip in her salon...

An amusing little film which sends up the beauty industry (which often is rather absurd after all) with various stunts including a lady knocking herself out while exercising and a few mishaps involving loose animals in the salon. An enjoyable film for sure with decent performances, and plenty of humour, though not a lot of depth. Unlike the salon's clients, it could have done with a few more layers.

The Devil Bat (1940)

A fantastic and cheesy horror film. Dr Carruthers (Bela Lugosi) works as the chief scientist for a cosmetics company. He is bitter that the Heath and Morton families have grown rich off his work. Therefore he plots a terrible revenge: he uses dark experiments to create a gigantic bat and a shaving lotion which turns the bat crazy and thirsting for blood...

The giant bat begins it's reign of terror, killing the sons of Heath whom Carruthers has tricked into using the lotion. City reporter Johnny Layton (Dave O'Brien) has come to discover what is going on...

A ridiculous story but highly entertaining. The film has a lot of camp and silliness but Lugosi seemed to enjoy the role and played it with plenty of enthusiasm. The only thing that really lets the film down is the rather ropey looking "giant bat" but with a B-movie's low budget it is acceptable.

Phase IV (1974)

A remarkable film, at first glance yet another "creepy" insect horror film but it is far more of that.

A mysterious force in outer space has taken control of ants on Earth, merging them into a super intelligence. Dr Hubbs (Nigel Davenport) and Lesko (Michael Murphy) are investigating the phenomena.

The ants have driven people from a desert town, and built strange structures. Hubbs and Lesko have built a domed research base, but who is really under investigation? Ants... or humans? The ants soon prove deadly, killing a family of farmers except Kendra (Lynne Frederick) who is rescued by the scientists. However the ants' plan is not to destroy...

The film has some incredible visuals, many close-ups of ants of course. The story is developed slowly, maybe too slowly for a monster movie, for an intelligent science-fiction movie it is perfect though. The ending is suitably mind-bending. The twists are what makes this film special, especially when we realise that it is the scientists in their dome who are really in an experiment.

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

Often called one of the worst films of all time, and it certainly is. A couple (Harold Warren and Diane Adelson) get lost in the Texas desert and find a mysterious house in the middle of nowhere. Despite the fact the world's creepiest man Torgo (John Reynolds) lives there and keeps babbling on about "The Master" who doesn't want them there, they decide this house will be the perfect place to stay the night!

Once night falls the full horror becomes apparent. The Master (Tom Neyman) is a dark lord who wears a rather funky psychedelic cloak, has six slave wives and sets fire to hands. He orders the couple and their daughter be killed...

An incredibly bad film with an air of complete ineptness in every frame. The acting is awful, the pacing completely off, awkward pauses as the actors desperately waited for cues, a plot which makes little sense. It is therefore wonderful (of course!) The film is complete cheese and very campy. It's legend among fans of trash movies is well deserved, it is one of the low lights of the genre.

The Delavine Affair (1955)

A fairly mundane crime caper affair. Rex Banner (Peter Reynolds) owns a small press agency. He becomes an amateur sleuth when one of his friends is killed after the theft of the Delavine diamonds. Its just as well he is on the case as the police are fairly clueless throughout and think Rex is the culprit! Meanwhile his partner Maxine (Honor Blackman) has become involved with Florian (Gordon Jackson)...

The story plods along without a great deal of tempo or energy, however the story is fairly straightforward and the film is a decent watch. It uses it's low budget to the fullest. Its competent but not a lot more.

The World Gone Mad (1933)

The biggest crooks are the big city crooks but the mob is never far away, as this enjoyable tale reveals. When the District Attorney is shot while on the verge of uncovering a huge stock market fraud, it falls to plucky and wise cracking reporter Andy Terrell (Pat O'Brien) and the new DA Lionel Houston (Neil Hamilton) to discover who is behind the killing and the fraud.

It might be a high-level crime but it is low-lives who do the actual killing with the mob led by Bruno (Louis Calhern) in cahoots with the corporate criminals. Lionel is soon the new target of the mob. Andy is also soon in danger when he messes with the gangster moll Carlotta (Evelyn Brent) and is lured into a trap...

The story can be a little complicated at times, plus there is a little bit too much filler which can drag the movie a bit, but this is a good solid corporate crime / gangster / news reporter caper well worth your time. The main cast give good performances, especially O'Brien and Brent. The Art Deco backdrop and sets are often breathtaking.

Dual Alibi (1947)

An interesting tale of crime and falling on hard times. Herbert Lom plays the de Lisle acrobat twins (using the standard camera tricks) who are the star trapeze artists of the circus.

Mike Bergen (Terence de Marney) is the rather villainous circus worker who is tired of working at the circus and the de Lisles. He discovers that one of them has won the lottery and so plots a plan with Penny (Phyllis Dixie) to steal the winnings.

The tale of treachery and eventual murder is told in flashback. Lom plays a terrific dual role, giving the (completely identical) twins subtle character differences. The film is pretty low budget but makes the most of it. A moody and atmospheric film with Noirish touches.