The Brain from Planet Arous (1957)

Fifties science fiction cheese, though with some interesting twists.

Steve (John Agar) and Dan (Robert Fuller) head out into the desert to investigate some mysterious radiation readings. They encounter a cave that shouldn't be there then encounter a bizarre floating brain. Steve returns to his fiancé Sally (Joyce Meadows) but he has changed, for a start he is horny! He also has some maniacal plans to conquer the world. Steve indeed has been possessed by a giant alien brain and has the power to detonate atomic explosions with his mind.

Steve forces the world's powers to bow to him, he plans to use Earth to conquer his own home planet. Meanwhile, an agent from his planet contacts Sally and her father John (Thomas Browne Henry), he tells them Steve has been taken over by a criminal but there is a way to save him...

This isn't a bad film at all, though very low budget. The special effects are few and far between though are pretty effective, the brain itself looks like an overgrown bee. An interesting and fun story.

Alice Gets Stung (1925)

Another early Walt Disney animation / live action hybrid.

After an innovative if perhaps slightly overlong chase between a cat and a rabbit, Alice (Virginia Davis) appears on the scene to help Julius the cat get the rabbit which has continually outsmarted him. Alice also tries to hunt bears and ends up getting trapped in a barrel with a beehive (hence this short feature's name)...

So, a short animation feature mostly involving animal hijinks and dancing, with Alice appearing and interacting with the characters. It is quite clever and inventive, just not that funny maybe because the storyline is ultimately somewhat cruel. 

The Next Man (1976)

An interesting premise though the film does rather plod a long a bit too slowly.

The new secretary of state of Saudi Arabia Khalil (Sean Connery) - the minister's Scottish accent is unexplained - has a controversial new plan. He wants Israel to join OPEC so the Arab world can make peace with them. He also wants to sell OPEC oil cheaply to Third World nations. For some reason or other this makes him rather unpopular and the attempts to assassinate him begin.

The Palestinians hire top assassin Nicole (Cornelia Sharpe) to seduce Khalil and prepare to kill him. Unfortunately for the bad guys Nicole falls in love with Khalil which throws the plans into chaos...

The execution is too flawed in this film unfortunately which is a shame because the premise is great. Somehow a film involving international intrigue and assassins ends up being rather slow and dreary.

Crack-Up (1936)

An interesting story but averagely executed.

An advanced new airliner is poised to cross the Atlantic for the first time, the designer Fleming (Ralph Morgan) and his test pilot Ace (Brian Donlevy) are preparing for the first flight to Europe. However, foreign powers are after the design and security is tight. Eccentric oddball Colonel Gimpy (Peter Lorre) hangs around the air field but he is ignored as he is considered harmless. That is a mistake as Gimpy is really the leader of a cell of enemy spies!

Ace is one of his men, to the shock of Fleming and the co-pilot Joe (Thomas Beck), when all is revealed during their flight. Naturally the flight doesn't go to plan, especially when Gimpy is found as a stowaway...

The premise is solid but the film is somewhat flawed. It also has some weird aspects to the plot, such as at the end when three of the crew decide to go down with their crashed plane instead of at least trying to swim for it! The film has some decent action scenes but can only be considered an watchable if not brilliant film. Peter Lorre's character is rather bizarre.

Haunted House (1940)

Two eager, if slightly annoying, teenagers decide to solve a murder mystery.

Amiable and simple Olaf (Christian Rub) has been accused of murder but newspaper boy Jimmie (Jackie Moran) can't believe he is guilty. The niece of his boss, Mildred (Marcia Mae Jones) turns up in town and begins to help Jimmi with his quest for the truth. 

However, all the adults in town including the newspaper owner (Jimmie's boss, Mildred's uncle) Albert (George Cleveland) think Olaf is guilty and isn't impressed by Jimmie's antics and ends up firing him. Of course that doesn't stop Jimmy!

So, this is a fine enough crime drama though the annoying teenager factor may drop it a point or two. It has all the usual B-movie crime tropes and is a very worthwhile hour or so of your time.

The Bride and the Beast (1958)

A strange tale of past lives and jungle antics. An Ed Wood Jr creation that is surprisingly good.

Newly wed Laura (Charlotte Austin) is surprised to discover that her husband Dan (Lance Fuller) has a gorilla (Ray Corrigan in a gorilla suit of course) in his basement. However, as Dan is a big bang hunter maybe it is not that strange after all. Laura is strangely drawn to the gorilla and vice versa. When the gorilla escapes that night he is all tender with Laura, though Dan shoots him anyway!

Through hypnosis it is discovered that Laura has a past life as a gorilla! Despite all that, their honeymoon to Africa to shoot animals goes ahead anyway. Over in Africa, two escaped tigers throw Dan and Laura into peril, and Laura meets more gorillas...

Not a bad film but padded out with a little too much animal footage. The story is quite strange and has a very unexpected ending. The story drags a bit but is just enough to keep you interested.

Howard the Duck (1986)

This is either something completely awful or a work of genius (twisted admittedly).

Howard (voiced by Chip Zien) is just an average duck on a world of ducks but then he is bought to a world of humans (Earth!) when a science experiment by Dr Jenning (Jeffrey Jones) goes wrong. Howard is trapped in a strange land, the only friend he has is Beverly (Lea Thompson), the singer in a failing rock band. 

With the help of Beverly and her friend Phil (Tim Robbins), Howard tries to find a way to get home but that might be the least of his troubles when the experiment goes wrong again and unleashes an extraterrestrial evil on the world...

This is a really crazy film, the star being a sarcastic anthropomorphic duck! The special effects, especially Howard's puppetry and suit work, are pretty decent and the film has some good action set pieces including a microlight chase, some good sassy humour, and even a human-duck sex scene! Once you reassure yourself that you are really seeing such a film and not having an acid trip then there is much here to enjoy, and occasionally cringe over. 

Mr. Mean (1977)

Blaxploitation goes to Italy, and has a cool old time.

Mr Mean (Fred Williamson), a former gangster, is hired by the Mafia in Italy to do a hit... on one of their own in Ranati (Stelio Candeli) who has bought shame on the Mafia (apparently) by indulging in the wrong kind of criminal activities. Mean is successful in his task of course but then he finds himself the target of a Mafia hit...

Williamson made this film whilst making another film, keeping it's existence a secret from the other's film's producers. Honestly, it does show. It is all rather ineptly made and frequently confusing. However, despite that it is a fairly entertaining film (though some scenes do drag) that certainly has plenty of 70s cool and some decent funky tunes. Williamson plays a good tough and butch role.

The Mysterious Miss X (1939)

This is an often silly but enjoyable murder mystery with some interesting twists.

Actors Keith Neville (Michael Whalen) and Dan Casey (Chick Chandler) are heading to New York after performing in a crime play. They stop off in a small town and immediately get involved in a murder that takes place in their hotel. Keith manages to get out of being a suspect when the honourable if unimaginative local police find his play props and think he really is a famous detective from Scotland Yard!

Reluctantly acting as a detective to try and avoid trouble, he ends up getting in deeper than he is comfortable with and gets involved with local girl Julie (Lynne Roberts), whose father is also a suspect in the murder. Much complicated and red herring filled crime drama follows.

This is a perfectly reasonable crime B-movie, the concept of actors accidentally becoming real detectives is an interesting one. There is a fair amount of humour but it just about strays the right side of the line between enhancing and destroying the plot. Whilst the film is mostly well trodden territory, the film is well worth your time.

Doctor in Clover (1966)

Traditional British comedy in a hospital, maybe this is like a prototype Grey's Anatomy?

Dr Grimsdyke (Leslie Phillips) is released from prison (where he was the prison doctor not a convict!) He is immediately snatched up by Sir Lancelot Spratt (James Robertson Justice) to work in his hospital. Grimsdyke is fairly uninterested in this, though interested in French physiotherapist Jeannine (Elizabeth Ercy) a lot! 

Meanwhile, a new matron (Joan Sims) has arrived at the hospital and has begun a reign of terror. Sir Lancelot thinks the iron maiden can be melted with a love interest and gets Grimsdyke to try and hook her up, though he didn't think that he would be the one Grimsdyke would get Matron interested in!

So, this is a silly comedy in the great British way. We get lots of farces, a little bit of innuendo and plenty of light humour. It is all nonsense of course but very silly inoffensive fun. Don't expect much in the way of medical realism, do expect people being accidentally injected up the backside.

Philo Vance's Secret Mission (1947)

Philo Vance returns with this enjoyable adventure.

Philo Vance (Alan Curtis) is hired by a publisher to advise him on some new crime novels he wants written, though the publisher Jamison's (Paul Maxey) partner Morgan (Frank Fenton) is against the plan. However, there is more Jamison wants. He instructs his secretary Mona (Sheila Ryan) to bring Philo to his house where he will reveal to Philo who murdered a former partner in the firm. When Philo and Mona reach Jamison's house they find him slain...

This is a decent if not exceptional murder mystery and includes little you haven't seen before in hundreds of films like this. A complicated and fast moving plot with plenty of red herrings. The resolution is well worked out and brings things to a satisfying conclusion. Worth while if no where near mind blowing.

Aladdin (1990)

Well this is rather awful, though unintentionally hilarious.

A TV movie made by Disney of the classic Aladdin tale. Aladdin (Brent Sudduth) is playing with his kite when he sees the Princess Mei-Ling (Susan Egan) and falls in love. However, he lacks the vital necessity for the Emperor (I.M. Hobson) to allow him to marry her - a lot of money. Luckily for Aladdin a mysterious magician (Richard Kiley) says he can help Aladdin with that. The magician also claims he is Aladdin's uncle, though this seems rather suspicious.

He takes Aladdin to a cave where the boy is sent to get a lamp. Trapped in the cave, Aladdin rubs the lamp and releases the genie (Barry Bostwick) who grants the boy a number of wishes...

Well the tale is very familiar of course and is told here with a remarkable lack of budget and a fair amount of camp. This film is a musical and the songs are all pretty corny though undeniably catchy. Wholesome family entertainment, though not very good but it should make you laugh. Mercifully it is pretty short.

Invasion of the Neptune Men (1961)

This is a very strange and rather creepy science-fiction film.

Cone helmet wearing invaders from the planet Neptune have landed on Earth. The world can only be saved from these slow moving and clumsy invaders by cape wearing Space Chief (Shin'ichi Chiba) and a bunch of Japanese schoolchildren...

This is pretty weird and awful stuff, the cheese factor is high though. Space Chief drives a rather suspicious looking "rocket car" and fights the invaders with a series of energetic though flimsy looking chops and judo throws. 

Time Out for Murder (1938)

An enjoyable and breezy crime drama.

The first of the short Roving Reporter series, bank runner Johnny Martin (Robert Kellard) is accused of murdering Peggy Norton (Ruth Hussey). Reporter Barney Callaghan (Michael Whalan), photographer Snapper (Chick Chandler) and bill collector Margie Ross (Gloria Stuart) - who is dragged along - set out to try and prove Martin is innocent. Indeed suspicion seems to point to gangster Dutch Moran (Douglas Fowley) but one problem is that he is a pal of Barney...

This is a typical 1930s crime drama involving reporters, who of course give plenty of wise cracks and cheek the police. There is plenty of story squeezed in, sometimes light but also a bit of action too - even a car chase! One of the most interesting things about the film is the 1930s speaking clock, which is performed by a live speaker. A highly enjoyable film.

The Black Hole (1979)

Epic science-fiction mixed with a touch of the macabre.

A space mission led by Captain Holland (Robert Forster) encounters a ship thought lost on the edge of a black hole but somehow resisting the massive gravitational forces. After Holland's ship is damaged they land on the mysterious ship and encounter menacing robots as they are taken to Dr Reinhardt (Maximilian Schell). He tells Holland and his crew that he is the only survivor of the original crew. He built an army of robots to replace them and now plans to fly his ship into the black hole and discover the ultimate secret of the universe...

Holland and his team - which includes Anthony Perkins, Yvette Mimeux, Ernest Borgnine but the jolly robot VINCENT (Roddy MacDowall) - soon discover everything is not as it seems. Reinhardt's crew of "robots" are something much darker, and his chief robot Maximilian silent, evil and deadly...

This is a spectacular film with superb sets which really give a sense of scale. The science fiction is fixed with some dark religious imagery. There is also a lot of action, though Reinhardt's robots obviously went to the same shooting school as Imperial stormtroopers. The story can be a bit simplistic and slow at times but the film is a great watch and highly underrated.

Futuresport (1998)

It is the future (2025 to be exact), the big geo-political questions of the age seem to be decided through a rather ropey looking "future" sport.

Hawaii wants to cede from the USA, a group of separatists gate crash the final of Futuresport, which has apparently replaced other sports like basketball to become the most popular in the world. 

Hot shot player Tre (Dean Cain) takes time out from an interview with his ex Alex (Vanessa Williams) to chase the separatists away with a ball. However, later he decides the best way to solve the Hawaii problem is to hold another game of Futuresport between a US and a Hawaiian team, the winner gets the country! Unfortunately for Tre, his opponents are street smart and led by the game's creator Fixx (Wesley Snipes)...

A strange film though the plot has some interesting if odd aspects to it. The world building is interesting and makes the most of a limited budget though this TV movie has many flaws. The game Futuresport itself is a bit of a dud though with it's odd mix of hockey, handball and skateboarding and has a placeholder for a name. The execution is pretty patchy but the film is not that bad. Just not that good either.

Daughter of the Tong (1939)

A middling crime B-movie that does the job... more or less.

FBI agent Dickson (Grant Withers) goes undercover to infiltrate the gang led by the Chinese gangster Carney (Evelyn Brent). Whilst successful, he stumbles upon a plot to extort money from Jerry Morgan (Dave O'Brien) and helps Morgan's sister Marion (Dorothy Short) as well as bring the weight of the authorities down on Carney's gang...

To be honest it is not a bad film though the low budget shows with the limited sets and repetitive action. The action is pretty average, in many fights it looks like the same punches are re-shown to pad the film out, a problem especially when the thrown punch obviously misses! 

The film is pretty run of the mill and doesn't have much not seen elsewhere many times. It is a decent watch but not much more though Carney is an interesting character which more could have been made of. The use of the Chinese Tongs might give the film a bit of novelty though only one character is actually Chinese!

The Thundering Ninja (1987)

Incredible martial arts nonsense as the CIA take on a ninja crime organisation.

Plans for a ballistic missile are wanted by the ninjas (quite why is unknown) led by Pedro Ernyes. However, despite ambushing some suits, the ninjas are still to get their hands on the plans. CIA agent, and ninja, Sydney (Stuart Smith) employs his investigator (Wang Yin) to find out who is behind the ninja's plans. The investigator's son (Jimmy Wang) is part of the ninja's support gang and gets into many fights. Finally, Sydney foils the ninja plans to get the plans and prepares for a showdown with the boss...

This film is one of those 1980s ninja epics which employed much footage from another, earlier, film to pad it out. The scenes with Jimmy Wang and Wang Yin comes from the 1970s Taiwanese film The Criminal. The footage is heavily doctored and re-dubbed to try and fit in with the ninja plot. It doesn't quite work though as in all of these mash-ups as the actors from the two films of course never meet (though they do "speak" over the telephone!)

This is a fun film though, completely crazy. The ninja action is incredibly over the top, just as it should be. It shouldn't work, but somehow it does.

One Away (1976)

A rather ropey but appealing prison escape drama.

Gypsy Tam (Patrick Mower) escapes from a prison in South Africa following an accident at his prison work party. As he tries to make good his escape, the authorities are in pursuit. His best chance for freedom depends on his brothers Ruben (Bradford Dillman), Pete (Dean Stockwell) and Elsa (Elke Sommers) plus plenty of hot motorbike action across the countryside.

This is a pretty rough film though it is pretty watchable. Everything has a certain tough yet whimsical edge to it. The motorbike chase scenes are terrific.

Lucky Ghost (1942)

Mantan Moreland and F.E. Miller tear it up again in this hilarious comedy with an all-black cast.

Two friends (Moreland and Miller) are two friends down on their luck, forced to walk the roads between towns and try and steal chickens (though failing). Then they encounter some fancy dudes in their swish car, and win everything in a game of dice. They head off to an illegal country club run by Blake (Maceo Bruce Sheffield) who has a side line in crooked gambling. However, Moreland's gambling skills can defeat even that. But there is more to this club than meets the eye, there are some supernatural guests to content with plus Blake's jealous eye for his girlfriend.

This really is a great romp with superb interplay between the main cast and ridiculous comedy situations. So much humour is packed into a short film it is quite easy to miss stuff, but fear not as there will be another joke along in five seconds.

Escape from DS-3 (1981)

Very low budget science fiction, which is surprising good even though not that much happens.

In some future nightmare where everyone wears matching bright polyester outfits, intelligence agent Lavette (Jackson Bostwick) is framed for a crime and sent to an orbital prison. After a short tour of the prison (which includes brutal future electro torture by sadistic guards, constant surveillance and scheduled sexbot sessions) Lavette decides to escape. He concocts a complicated plan with his three of his fellow prisoners including Bubba Smith who would later star in Police Academy.

This is a very cheaply made film, the future seems to consist of endless grey corridors and matching jumpsuits. This film does not have a great deal of action until the very end and then the film concludes quite abruptly. Before that we have a lot of slow build-up and tension as Lavette prepares for the escape. 

Somehow this is quite an enjoyable and watchable film, despite everything.

Santo vs the Vampire Women (1962)

Masked wrestling super hero antics which takes a while to get going.

A group of vampires led by their queen Zorina (Lorena Velazquez) need a new fresh body to be the next bride of Satan, they choose the daughter of Professor Orlof (Augusto Benedico), Diana (Maria Duval). Only one man can save Diana and foil the vampires, the wrestling legend Santo! 

This is great fun, one of many Mexican films starring real Lucha Libre wrestlers as the heroes and Santo was the greatest of them all, this being just one of dozens of films he made. The only problem with the film is the lengthy first act which includes much slow vampire ritual and pointless moving from one spooky room to the other. Once Santo gets involved then the action and pace really hots up.