Devil Girl from Mars (1954)

Despite the interesting sounding premise: a Martian woman in a black leather outfit arrives looking for men, this is a slow and plodding science-fiction film. Escaped convict Simpson (Peter Reynolds) turns up at a remote Scottish hotel where guests are few and far between but include scientist Professor Hennessey (Joseph Tomelty) and reporter Carter (Hugh McDermott) who are looking for a meteorite. Prestwick (Hazel Court) is also present though mostly just to look pretty. Just at the moment Simpson is recognised a UFO lands in the back garden! What are the chances eh?

Nyah (Patricia Laffan) descends the ramp in her kinky leather outfit and declares that she is looking for men to take back to Mars to help rebuild the population. As she landed at a Scottish hotel populated by stoic 1950s British people and not a high school full of horny boys she has trouble finding willing males. Much slow plodding plot proceeds as the Earthlings are powerless before Nyah's powers and her ridiculously clunky robot...

This is not a long film but it feels it because of the slowness of the plot. The budget was low and the special effects poor, though pretty much standard for their time. Nyah and her outfit are superb and give the film enough camp and cheese to get you through the slow moments (of which there are quite a few!)

Contamination (1980)

A genuine "video nasty" from the 1980s and you can see why as it had plenty of exploding abdomens. A freighter arrives at New York with a dead crew, and they have died in an incredibly gruesome manner. The police discover some mysterious green eggs, one proceeds to explode covering the cops in goo... the cops then die horribly by giving their innards some air.

Colonel Stella Holmes (Louise Marleau) is investigating for the US government, enlisting the help of police man (and only survivor of the earlier gore fest) Tony Aris (Marino Masé). After some experiments in the lab (including blowing up a rat) they think the eggs and the goo have an extraterrestrial origin... from Mars to be exact. Holmes tracks down ex-astronaut Hubbard (Ian McCulloch) who went off the rails following his mission. He indeed did see the eggs on Mars though his fellow astronaut Hamilton (Siegfried Rauch) denied there was anything there. Pity he died in a plane crash... or did he?

Complete nonsense of course, obviously influenced by Alien though not a complete rip-off. A fun film if approached in the right way, and that right way is to have a laugh at the ridiculous alien monster and exploding bellies. Entertaining rubbish. The film was apparently funded by Columbian drug barons, perfect!

Dinosaurus! (1960)

On a tropical island paradise, which the white men are blowing up and bulldozing of course, Betty (Kristina Hanson) discovers two monsters underwater just off the beach. The monsters are frozen and have been released from the depths by the explosions. Bart (Ward Ramsey) orders the two beasts bought up to the surface, they are dinosaurs! A tyrannosaurus and a brontosaurus to be exact (well an apatosaurus really but this isn't a film to come to for palaeontological accuracy to be honest).

However, a storm overnight cuts the island off from the mainland and the dinosaurs are coming to life. Crooked local overlord Hacker (Fred Engelberg) discovers that a neanderthal was also released from the depths, he seeks to sell the neanderthal to become rich. Once the dinosaurs are active and causing havoc, Bart orders everyone to an old fortress. 

Unfortunately the local annoying kid Julio (Alan Roberts) has run off and is having an adventure with the neanderthal and the brontosaurus. Bart has to save Julio and stop the crooked plans of Hacker and avoid becoming a tyrannosaurus' lunch...

Not a terrible stop-motion monster film, the addition of the neanderthal gives the film some comedy when he is scared of a toilet flushing! Although not very original this is straight forward and enjoyable monster action.

Them Thar Hills (1934)

Poor Oliver Hardy has gout, his doctor (Billy Gilbert) tells him he needs to get some mountain air. With Stan Laurel, he heads into the countryside with a trailer. They find an idyllic spot which apparently has no inhabitants... in fact those inhabitants were arrested a short time ago. They were moonshiners and they dumped their booze down the well before the arrest.

Unaware of this Stan fills a bucket of "water" from the well. It doesn't take long until he and Ollie are absolutely hammered. Passing motorist Mrs Hall (Mae Busch) also gets drunk much to her husband's (Charlie Hall) fury...

A highly enjoyable comedy short, a simple idea which is pushed to the max. Silly and perfectly timed with a good dose of slapstick.

The Beast of the Yellow Night (1971)

A very strange film. In the early postwar Philippines jungle a dying war criminal, Langdon is given a choice by Satan (Vic Diaz). He can either continue to live by serve the Devil forever or die. Langdon chooses the former. We then switch to the present day (well early 1970s anyway) and a bad man is buried. This apparently was Langdon's previous host, Langdon's next host is businessman Philip Rogers (Josh Ashley). Langdon's mission is to awaken evil in the people he meets. Langdon/Rogers has an interesting way in serving Satan. As well as treat his now-wife Julia (Mary Charlotte Wilcox) with indifference and try and pass her off to Rogers' brother, he likes to go out at night, change into a disfigured demon and eat people...

However, by now Langdon is tired of being Satan's slave and wants out of his contract but unfortunately he has no way out and must serve Satan forever (small print eh?) Even when the police led by de Santos (Leopoldo Salcedo) shoot him (in demon mode) it has no effect. Langdon finally finds some kind of solace with a blind man (Andres Centenera). who was a notorious wanted criminal in his younger days but now is patiently awaiting the end and peace...

Truthfully, this is a rather confusing film. It is entertaining enough nonsense about a flesh eating monster loose on the streets of Manila though the story doesn't really go anywhere. The demon make-up is quite well done and Diaz' comedy Satan adds a little extra dimension to what is overall a rather plodding film. There are a number of annoying plot holes too. Despite all that is is enjoyable.