Friday, December 10, 2021

Restless Natives (1985)

A joyous and very Scottish romp. Will (Vincent Friell) and Ronnie (Joe Mullaney) are a couple of lads in boring, dead end jobs. They decide to get some excitement and cash in the best way possible: putting on masks and holding up tourist buses in the Highlands! They quickly become folk heroes and even a bit of a tourist attraction. The police (Robert Urquhart) remain clueless, even when the CIA in the form of Bender (Ned Beatty) get involved.

However, things start to get complicated when Will falls in love with the tour guide (Teri Lally) of one of the held-up buses. Ronnie meanwhile starts to get ideas above his station and falls in with a bunch of real criminals...

A great comedy drama with a superb Big Country soundtrack. The nostalgic view of mid-1980s Edinburgh is also a delight.

Thursday, December 9, 2021

Monstrosity (1963)

An utterly awful and rather repellant film. A rich and bitter old woman, Mrs March (Marjorie Eaton) is funding the deranged medical experiments of Dr Frank (Frank Gerstile), who is transplanting brains using atomic energy (back in the 50s and 60s atomic radiation was seemingly capable of everything). March wants her brain transplanted into the body of a young woman. She has three maids imported and chooses Bea (Judy Bamber) for her new body even though she has the worst British accent ever.

Things do not run smoothly though, one of Dr Frank's earlier experiments where he put a dog's brain in a man's body menaces the grounds. Dr Frank puts a cat's brain in one of the other maid's Maria (Lisa Lang) body, Cat Maria proceeds to attack and mutilate Bea. The last maid, Nina (Erika Peters), is the new chosen one. When the transfer operation takes place there is a rather surprising twist...

A terrible film, shoddy and awkward and shamelessly exploitative. The best acting on show is probably by Maria when she becomes a cat. Worth experiencing once for the sheer inanity. A very aptly named film.

Wednesday, December 8, 2021

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Aha another video game movie... which has little relation to the actual game. Evolved dinosaurs led by the maniacal King Koopa (Dennis Hopper) exist in a parallel dimension. Koopa wants to merge the dimension with our own so he can conquer our world with his (to be honest pretty cool) dinosaur tech. However, Daisy (Samantha Mathis) holds the key in the form of a crystal. Can Koopa get his hands on Daisy and the crystal. Bumbling plumbing brothers Mario (Bob Hoskins) and Luigi (John Leguizamo) are there to stop him... eventually.

A silly film though the world building is pretty well done, a world of trolley wire powered police cars, rocket boots and guns that can de-evolve creatures. 

It is terrible, though has it's moments and can entertain. The film has plenty of comedy packed into it though much of the comedy does backfire. The film goes on a little too long and the plot meanders too much. The characters ham it up like a pantomine, though it makes less sense.

Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Terror (1978)

A baffling but highly enjoyable low-budget horror romp. Many years ago a witch is burned and curses the Lord Garrick who ordered her death, with some immediate effects... 

However, this is just a horror film made by director James Garrick (James Nolan) about his ancestors and he has held a private showing to the cast and crew including his cousin Ann (Carolyn Courage).

Things soon going strange, Ann is hypnotised and tries to kill James with a sword! After she runs off, her friend Carol (Gynis Barber) heads off looking for her and is menaced by an unseen threat and then stabbed to death. Ann returns to her shared home with other girls, more deaths follow her including a pervert punter at the club she works at, he winds up impaled on railings! Deaths also start to mount up at James' studio. Really does seem being around the Garrick family is rather unhealthy...

A great horror film, the story is a bit light and is mostly a framework upon which a number of horror scenes are hung. The horror is full of suspense, violent, gruesome and frequently erotic. It is full of weirdness too, its trashy for sure and brilliant.

Monday, December 6, 2021

An Old Man's Love Story (1913)

An unusual love story. Ethel (Norma Talmadge) is in love with Cyril (Frank O'Neil), who has prospects though as yet not much else. Unfortunately for Ethel, her parents are poor despite all appearances and want to marry her off to a rich man. When their friend and retired businessman James (Van Dyke Brooke) turns up they want Ethel to marry him and send Cyril off...



When James discovers who Ethel's feelings are truly for he comes up with an ingenious (though somewhat implausible) plan for Ethel to marry money and Cyril...

A short film that packs a lot of story in though. The film has fairly natural acting though technically is still rather static. The film looks like it will go off in one direction though will surprise you with it's enjoyable twist.