Morons from Outer Space (1985)

An entertaining and often funny film that poses the important question: what if we are finally visited by aliens from outer space, but they are idiots?

Sandra (Joanne Pearce), Desmond (Jimmy Nail) and Julian (Paul Bown) are aliens (who have human form... and names!) who accidentally crash on Earth leaving their leader Bernard (Mel Smith) marooned in space. The authorities excited probe and question the visitors but are soon left disappointed at the apparent lack of intellect. US official Laribee (James Sikking) is suspicious and thinks things will come flying from their heads. Minor TV reporter Graham (Griff Rhys Jones) helps breaks the visitors out and into the public. Overnight they become a pop sensation despite not really having any abilities whatsoever...

Bernard has finally made it to Earth though no one believes he is an alien too. Can he reunite with his former crew who have now arrived in the US for a massive concert?

An amiable and silly if not brilliant film. The humour is good though stretched a bit thinly at times (the story would have probably been better served by a series of skits in the Alas Smith & Jones TV show). You could say it is rather far fetched though, as if some talentless nobodies could become world famous just by being idiots? Now that is science fiction, isn't it?

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

A superbly macabre and strange horror film. It doesn't make a great deal of sense but then again doesn't really have to.

Eminent doctors are suffering mysterious deaths, including being killed by bats and even frozen to death. Trout of the Yard (Peter Jeffrey) discovers that there is a link. All of the doctors were present when the wife (Caroline Munro) of Dr Phibes (Vincent Price) was killed. However, he is supposed to have died too. With the help of the chief surgeon in the Phibes operation Dr Vesalius (Joseph Cotten), Trout discovers that Phibes is alive after all. Well in a way.

In reality Phibes is a bizarre half-dead creature who can only speak via gramophone and wears a full Vincent Price prosthetic face. He plays the organ in his wonderful Art Deco lair, accompanied by a clockwork orchestra, while planning and celebrating his hideous Biblical inspired killings.

A wonderfully campy and weird horror. Quite how a dead man was able to conduct such elaborate and audacious killings is never explained, but this isn't a film for worrying about such mere details! So over the top it does verge on self-parody but incredible stuff.

The Plastic Age (1925)

A college-age love story that won't uproot any trees but is a decent enough watch.

Hugh (Donald Keith) is a freshman at college, keen on his studies and sports. Then he meets Cynthia (Clara Bow) and falls in love. Studies, sports and dating Clara Bow pushes Hugh a step too far as she introduces him to booze, dancing and back seat fumbles. Something is going to have to give especially as the big game is coming up (of course)...

So, this is all rather formulaic all down to the parental disapproval and eventual redemption. What rises this film above the pack are the performances especially from Bow and the supporting cast. This was Clara Bow's first hit film.

Hawk the Slayer (1980)

A baffling and rather low-energy sword and sorcery tale.

Hawk (John Terry) and Voltan (Jack Palance) are brothers (big age gap). While Hawk is a bold hero though Voltan is a deformed and evil villain who kills their father and Hawk's fiancé. He also kidnaps the Abbess (Annett Crosbie) for ransom as he needs gold for a mysterious wizard who is aiding him. Hawk assembles a team of stereotypes including a strongman giant (Bernard Bresslaw), an elf (Ray Charleson) and a dwarf (Peter O'Farrell). They then arrive at the Abbey and... well not much else happens until the final showdown.

The low budget and lack of much action (much of it helpfully smothered in smoke) is a true marvel, only matched by Palance on over drive. He obviously decided to go for the world record for over the top bad guys in this film and certainly succeeded.

For all of it's many flaws, this is a fun film with a heavy amount of cheese.

The Dawn Patrol (1938)

The heroism and oblivion of the conflict in the air in World War 1.

Major Brand's (Basil Rathbone) Royal Flying Corps squadron is fighting hard above the Western front but the losses are mounting, and the replacements are getting ever younger and less experienced. His top airmen Courtney (Errol Flynn) and Scott (David Niven) somehow manage to survive though the odds are getting tougher. The airmen face the dangers with a mixture of stiff upper lip stoicism, some tears and lots of booze...

A truly great war film with a top rank cast, showing the horrors, humanity and inhumanity of war. The film was a remake of a 1930 film and reused much of the aerial footage, though some of the aircraft used were Nieuports used in the actual war which adds to the realism.