Monday, December 19, 2022

Charlie Chan in Panama (1940)

One of the best Charlie Chan films as he uncovers an enemy plot to sabotage the Panama Canal...

Charlie Chan (Sidney Toler) is working undercover in Panama (selling hats of course). When a group of travellers arrive in town, one of them visits Charlie (his contact) but dies soon after, poisoned by his own cigarettes. Charlie and Jimmy (Victor Sen Yung) investigate the other travellers, one of whom is thought to be a mysterious foreign agent and who plans to attack the Panama Canal while a US Navy fleet is sailing through it...

This is a great film that keeps you guessing until the end (though seasoned watchers / readers of whodunnits from this period will probably guess who the agent is!) The high stakes (the world was at war, though America was not yet involved but probably knew they would soon), intricate plot and good performances (including by Jack La Rue, who always plays a good villain) make this a highly enjoyable film.

Friday, December 16, 2022

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957)

The Citizen Kane of bad movies, a legend in the trash movie genre. But it is really that bad? Yes.

Flying saucers (wobbly ones at that) are visiting the Earth. For some reason they are bringing the dead back to life, including the rather unfortunate Bela Lugosi (this was indeed his last film). These zombies can be controlled by the aliens for their own nefarious ends. The police and military vaguely mill around and eventually confront the aliens including Vampira and Tor Johnson on their wobbly space saucer...

A very low budget film indeed, and often unintentionally hilarious (such as when a soldier is supposed to be standing in the open but you can see the wrinkles in the "sky" behind him). The acting veers between basic and terrible and the story is very confused (is this a science fiction film or a horror?) 

It is wonderful though because of that, it's cult classic status is well deserved. Everyone needs to see this film at least once.

Thursday, December 15, 2022

Robo Vampire (1988)

What on Earth is going on here, it seems like at least three films all spliced together. Well it is by Godfrey Ho...

Thai drug lords have a highly effective though also unusual weapon in their armoury: Chinese hopping vampires! Meanwhile, anti-drug agent Tom is killed in action, but then bought back to life in a knock-off RoboCop-like manner in a highly scientific operation carried out in a battered looking spare room at the police station. This version of the robot policeman however, looks rather laughable with his silver padded jacket and helmet. He battles the vampires, and the drug barons' hoods. Meanwhile, a female agent is captured by the drug lords...

This film makes no sense whatsoever! Godfrey Ho spliced together a Thai action movie with new footage (1984's Paa Lohgan to be precise) with some new footage of the Not-Robocop fighting hopping vampires. The result is incredibly incoherent but the film is undoubtably entertaining and frequently unintentionally hilarious with it's endless but also senseless action scenes. 

This film is pretty amazing, for most of it you won't really believe your eyes and maybe you will wonder if someone spiked your drink. Just be glad a film like this exists.

Wednesday, December 14, 2022

The Wonderful Land of Oz (1969)

Don't do drugs kids, you might end up making a film like this.

Evil Mombi (Zisca Baum) the witch threatens to turn young Tip (Chan Mahon) into a statue after he creates a man out of a pumpkin (George Wadsworth). He runs away with his pumpkin man to the Emerald City but gets mixed up in a military coup. Tip teams up with the Scarecrow (Michael R Thomas) and Tin man (Allen Joseph) to raise their own army against the revolution...

Where do we start with this film, it is all pretty awful. The sets are cheap and basic, the acting is mostly terrible (apart from Zisca Baum who is pretty good as a witch). If you haven't suffered enough then there are some dreadful songs too. 

Oh there is a badly made puppet cow head too. Its all pretty amazing, though mostly in a bad way.

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974)

The first in a series of British sex comedies, you'll probably love or hate it. I love a bit of it!

Tim (Robin Askwith) is working as an apprentice window cleaner for his brother-in-law Sidney (Anthony Booth). However, Tim soon realises that bored housewives are driven incredibly randy by window cleaners apparently (knww i should have taken up my grandfather's trade)... 

Whilst indulging in saucy but what are often also rather awkward situations with various ladies, Tim falls in love with policewoman Elizabeth (Linda Hayden), much to the chagrin of his Dad (Bill Maynard) who has filled the house with nicked junk...

This is a typical early 1970s British film. Saucy, smutty, grubby and tawdry with a few decent tunes. However, it is also wonderfully enjoyable. The film is pretty ridiculous and is a great fun sex comedy, maybe not boisterously hilarious for a comedy but certainly has plenty of sex. John Le Mesurier is excellent as Elizabeth's disapproving police inspector father.