Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996)

A dubious Merlin unleashes horrors on a grandchild's mind.

When a power cut stops his grandson (Mark Hurtado) watching TV, granddad (Ernest Borgnine) tells him a couple of horror stories involving Merlin (George Milan) and his shop of horrors... i mean mystical wonders. In the first story a sneering newspaper critic (John Terrence) visits Merlin's shop to have a sneer. He is given a book of spells by Merlin to help him believe in him. The critic tries out the magic and unleashes all sorts of demonic and hellish magic on the world and himself.

In the second story a little monkey toy is bought by David (Bob Mendelsohn), unfortunately this toy is possessed by dark magic and when it plays the drums deaths occur. Starting with a goldfish and soon progressing to humans too...

Although the stories are not too original they are well done though they seem rather dark for a grandfather to tell a young boy! The moral from the story seems to be Merlin should be locked up! Although quite cheesy at times this is a perfectly enjoyable B-movie horror. You do wonder though if this film is indeed aimed at children or aimed at mentally scarring them?

Crime Smasher (1943)

Fast moving comedy crime fighting antics.

Cosmo Jones (Frank Graham) has done a correspondence course in criminology and now he thinks the police will find his expertise invaluable, the head of the police Murphy (Edgar Kennedy) does not seem very keen though! Meanwhile, socialite Phyllis Blake (Gwen Kenyon) is hanging out with a gang leader but a rival gang kidnap her. Can Cosmo Jones save the woman before he annoys Murphy too much and gets arrested himself?

A fun film with Mantan Moreland helping out with the comedy. The film moves along fairly swiftly and has an enjoyable if not overly taxing story. 

Cosmo Jones was a popular radio character (also portrayed by Frank Graham) and it's likely a long-running movie series was hoped starring this quirky character, but as it turned out only this film was made.

Confessions of a Pop Performer (1975)

The second in the Confessions series of sex comedies, this one is a real riot from start to end (sometimes literally).

Tim (Robin Askwith) is still working for his brother-in-law Sidney (Anthony Booth) as a window cleaner / sex toy of bored housewives. Sidney has a new business idea, getting into the pop music business. He finds an unsigned band (who are pretty awful) but uses Tim to seduce a music promotor's (Bob Todd) wife (Jill Gascoine) to help get the band on the road to stardom... with Tim as the drummer...

It may be pretty low-brow in many ways, and includes a lot of female nudity and sex but this is a genuinely funny film with a good deal of slapstick farce, saucy smut and nonsense. Some good comedy talent including Ian Lavender and Bill Maynard are on hand to make the film a great deal of fun and very watchable. 

Of it's time, not that bad a time to be honest.

Robot Holocaust (1987)

The post-apocalypse has never been more dangerous... or boring.

It is the post-apocalypse on a planet called New Terra (even though a rather intact Manhattan is clearly visible in some of the outside shots and Central Park in others). People in rags fight and die until the evil rule of Dark One and his robot army, led by the incredibly campy and over the top Valaria (Angelica Jager).

Neo (Norris Culf) arrives at this hell on ..er.. New Terra and is persuaded to help Deeja (Nadine Hartstein) rescue her scientist father Klyton (J. Buzz von Ornsteiner) from the Dark One as he has invented a weapon to finally defeat the Dark One. Neo assembles a mixed crew of scantily clad heroes and an annoying robot to face a series of dangers and quite a few rather inept fights.

The plot alone means this film won't be a cinematic classic but films like New Barbarians had ropey plots too but were still great fun to watch. The main problem with Robot Holocaust is that it is all so lifeless and dreary. Fights are slow and pointless, the characters move between somewhat similar looking though apparently completely different areas of the "wasteland" slowly for no reason. It is a terrible film, one of the worst ever. It is however, well worth watching for Angelica Jager alone. An astonishing performance is more ways than one.

Mesa of Lost Women (1953)

A rather mediocre mad science horror, the only really scary thing is the soundtrack.

Scientist Aranya (Jackie Coogan) (and as this is a movie he is of course a mad scientist) is conducting twisted human experiments using spider venom to create a race of indestructible and obedient women. Another scientist called Dr Masterson (Harmon Stevens) discovers the vile experiments and is driven insane. He escapes the asylum and forces a group of people including Richard Travis and Paula Hill back to Aranya's bizarre desert lair...

This isn't a very good film. It's very slow moving and dull though does have some enjoyable science weirdness and 1950s style sleazy exotica. 

The main problem with this film though is the soundtrack, a short piece of music which is on continuous repeat throughout the movie and will make you irritable and on edge after five minutes.