The Perils of Pauline (Serial) (1914)

This is one of the earliest movie serials, although was more a series of standalone adventures with an overall theme rather than the multi-part adventures of later serials. Pauline's (Pearl White) uncle and guardian Sanford Marvin (Edward Jose) died and left Pauline a fortune. However, the money is in the care of Marvin's unscrupulous secretary Koerner (Paul Panzer) until Pauline marries. Koerner wants to keep the money for himself, he takes advantage of Pauline's zest for adventures by coming up with various schemes to get rid of her.

One example of this is she is tricked into getting into a balloon which is then set free and out of control. Others involve escaped lions, Indian tribes, bombs and various traps and kidnaps. Pauline escapes death often with the help of her beau Harry (Crane Wilbur) but not suspecting Koerner, he is free to try again next time!

Pearl White became the original serial queen, starring in a number of highly popular serials. She was notable for doing many of her own stunts, some of which did cause her life changing injuries. In many ways the serial is a bit obvious and nonsense but it had a huge influence on future serials and pop culture.

Hoop-La (1933)

Clara Bow's final film, although not a huge hit at least she went out still at the top of the bill. Chris (Richard Cromwell) runs away to join the circus, but its OK as his Dad Nifty (Preston Foster) works there as the manager. Hawaiian dancer Carrie (Minna Gombell) has her hooks into Nifty but she is resentful that Chris is ahead of her in Nifty's affections. She decides to get her fellow dancer Lou (Bow) to seduce Chris to sour the relationship between father and son and hopefully get the son sent packing...

But Lou falls in love with Chris for real. They end up getting married and an enraged Nifty kicks them both out of the circus. The couple head to Chicago where they fall on hard times. Can their fortunes be turned around and will Nifty forgive them?

An enjoyable film though fairly average overall, the cast make the most of a fairly thin script though the circus and carnival life is always an interesting watch. Clara Bow successfully made the switch to talkies, it is just such a shame she could not have continued her career due to personal problems. 

Lords of the Deep (1989)

A car crash of a movie, though as it takes place underwater maybe it should be called a sub crash? In an underwater base, Claire (Priscilla Barnes) is studying a mysterious goo... and getting an LSD trip by touching it. Then stranger things start happening such as a colleague returning to the base from a dive replaced by the same goo. A series of earthquakes rock the base. Claire also falls for O'Neill (Daryl Haney) with a really terrible 'tache. 

The always glaring base commander Dobler (Bradford Dillman) is hiding something from his team, and also killing them off with the help of his computer and control over the oxygen supply. Claire discovers the goo is a fast mutating life form. Dobler calls it a threat but Claire knows the real threat is elsewhere...

This is a terrible load of tosh. It has cheap sets, cheaper special effects, baffling plot and indifferent to terrible acting. Unintentionally hilarious and tremendous fun of course.

Planet Outlaws (1953)

If this seems similar to the 1939 serial Buck Rogers it is because it is a condensed version! Buck Rogers (Buster Crabbe) is a 20th century pilot who, along with Buddy (Jackie Moran), is put into suspended animation after an airship crash. When he is awaken in the future he finds the world to be much more advanced, and much more dangerous. He helps the good guys out against the evil plans of Killer Kane (Anthony Warde)...

Naturally as the nearly four hour original serial was edited down to a single film that's just over an hour long it is all rather breakneck. In fact it is maybe a little too frenetic as we move from action scene to action scene with hardly any time to breathe. The action is great though and includes rocket ships with sparks flying out of them, ray guns and an army of mindless robots - slaves controlled by fiendish helmets and worked until they die. 

Little to no subtlety maybe but it is all tremendous fun.

The Statue (1971)

A rather funny farce about a huge phallus. Noted linguist Alex (David Niven) is to be honoured by a statue commissioned by US ambassador Ray (Robert Vaughn) and created by Alex's artist wife Rhonda (Virna Lisi). When Alex has a sneak peek of the statue he is shocked, Rhonda has created a naked statue of himself... though with another man's very large gentleman's sausage.

Rhonda refuses to change the statue, Alex's only legal recourse is to find out who was the model for the... thing thinking Rhonda must have slept with him. Alex starts to make his way through a list of Rhonda's male acquaintances, finding ways to see their genitals...

It does sound a very strange film and it indeed is very odd, and very of it's time. The film is smutty and ridiculous, not everything works but frequently it really does hit the spot. A good cast, which also includes John Cleese and Ann Bell, make the most of it. 

The Black Pirate (1926)

The sort of swash buckling silent movie epic Douglas Fairbanks Senior was born for and set the screen action hero template for. With some scenes of quite stark brutality, including the dumping of corpses in a heap and lots of murder, we are hurled into the savage world of the pirates led by Anders Randolf and Sam De Grasse. The Duke of Arnoldo (Fairbanks) is seeking revenge on the pirates for murdering his father, he thus infiltrates their band as the Black Pirate...

The Black Pirate soon proves himself as he helps capture a ship and he rises up the ranks, but his plans for revenge are complicated by the lovely Isobel (Billie Dove) whom he must protect from the evil clutches of his fellow pirates...

Although a lot of the more extreme violence is implied off-screen, the film can be very bloody, and in it's Technicolor print (one of the earliest) would have been very red! As a silent movie action epic this can't be faulted, Fairbanks was at his wash buckling action hero peak. The story may be pretty obvious but that is not the important thing here, it's spectacular.

The Dumb Girl of Portici (1916)

An early epic though, while undeniably impressive, is a bit long winded. With Naples enduring the cruel regime of Spain, the playboy son of the Viceroy (Douglas Gerrard) spies and takes a fancy to Fenella (Anna Pavlova), a mute peasant girl. 

He seduces and ravishes her, then the Viceroy (Wadsworth Harris) tries to get rid of her and the scandal by having her thrown in prison and whipped! Fenella's mistreatment sparks the populace in a revolt led by fisherman Masaniello (Robert Julian) which eventually brings down the Viceroy and his regime who do not have a happy ending...

While not a brilliant film it does have plenty of grand designs and grander staging. Pavlova (yes the dessert was named after her) was a famous ballerina and this was her only appearance in a feature film. Her appearances have the lightness and grace you would expect though the camerawork unfortunately often did not make the most of it. The film could have done with some heavy editing. But it is an interesting film and was quite an accomplishment.