Breaker! Breaker! (1977)

Chuck Norris fighting a bunch of in-bred hicks. Young trucker Billy (Michael Augenstein) ends up in a one horse town hilariously called Texas City, California. He is fitted up with various crimes by the drunk judge Trimmings (George Murdock) and beaten up by his pet corrupt cops Strode (Don Gentry) and Boles (Ron Cedillos). Billy's big brother J.D. (Norris) comes looking for him. He immediately gets into trouble with moonshine runners, who apparently have the blessing of the Trimmings regime.

Indeed the whole town is in on the scheme, except for Arlene (Terry O'Connor), but J.D. has little trouble in beating up the cops and the town's menfolk with his martial arts skills. However, the tricky rednecks finally capture J.D. but Arlene manages to call on other truckers using CB radio and they end up wrecking the town!

A silly film which is unintentionally hilarious, the lazy sterotypes are laid on a mile thick. Chuck Norris despatches various dudes with bad facial hair over a banjo soundtrack. It is equally terrible and brilliant.

Saps at Sea (1940)

Some consider this the last good Stan Laurel and Olivier Hardy film (the last for Hal Roach) though if truth be told their powers were already on the decline. 

Ollie suffers a nervous breakdown while working at a horn factory, the sound of horns driving him into a frenzy. He is told to seek sea air but he resists, but after Stan semi-demolishes their apartment, Ollie decides that maybe he does need to get on a boat after all...

Meanwhile, tough escaped con Nick (Richard Cramer) is looking for a place to hide. He chooses Stan and Ollie's boat... which gets cut loose from the dock thanks to a hungry goat and heads out to sea. Faced with the menacing Nick, Stan and Ollie concoct a plan to knock him out by making him eat a meal of string, fly paper and sponge...

Although not the best Laurel and Hardy film it is still very good, with the usual facial expressions and slapstick destructions. There isn't quite the energy and freshness of their earlier work due to age and worsening health and some of the comedy situations are stretched a little too far. Enough of the magic remains to make this very worthwhile though. This was also the last film by well-known silent movie star Ben Turpin.

Vital Signs (1986)

A TV movie dealing with addition. Top surgeon Matthew Hayward (Edward Asner) has two problems, he is an alcoholic and what makes it even worse is that he will not admit it. His son (Gary Cole) arrives to work in his father's hospital, he tries to get his father to address his problems but the son has an addiction problem of his own, he steals morphine and other drugs for his own needs. This affects his mood and his relationship with his wife Kristi (Kate McNeil).

Kristi's relationship with her in-laws is also strained, as she also wants the alcoholism addressed. When she witnesses her father-in-law drunk driving and nearly kill a kid she demands some action and the son confronts his father in a fishing boat to no avail. But the family slowly falls apart...

A fair melodrama and has a powerful message, which is laid on thick. Well structured and perfectly watchable.

Charlie Chan at Monte Carlo (1937)

Warner Oland's last outing as Charlie Chan (and indeed his last film). Charlie Chan and Lee (Keye Luke) - the Number One Son - are in Monaco. They get involved in a murder investigation and a complicated plot involving rival financiers, bonds, blackmail and expensive women. 

The local police chief Joubert (Harold Huber) enlists Chan's help after the murder of a courier carrying bonds, which is just as well as he is pretty hapless otherwise. The bonds are owned by Karnoff (Sidney Blackmer), who has a bitter rival in Savarin (Edward Raquello). 

Karnoff's wife (Kay Linaker) meanwhile, is being blackmailed by the bartender Rogers (George Lynn) who indeed has had some of Karnoff's bonds. When Rogers winds up dead too, could Karnoff be the culprit or is it Karnoff's assistant Gordon (Robert Kent), who is mixed up with Savarin's female acquaintance Evelyn (Virginia Field)...

This is classic Charlie Chan fare. A complicated crime, the usual semi-comedic antics from the son, and cod-Chinese philosophy. Charlie Chan discovers the only clue that can uncover the true culprit. The Monte Carlo setting adds a bit of extra glamour to a wonderful little film.

Vampire Circus (1972)

One of the best vampire films. In a small Serbian village the Count (Robert Tayman) is killing young girls and drinking their blood. The Count is killed by the villagers but he puts a vampire's curse on them. A number of years later the curse appears to have come true as plague strikes the village. Then a circus arrives led by Adrienne Corri, this lightens the village mood even though the panther seems to be able to turn into a man, and twin acrobats into birds!

Then the children of the village start to die, killed by vampires. The blood of the slain used to bring the Count back to life. Can the villagers led by the Mayor (Thorley Walters) and including the heroic young Anton (John Moulder-Brown) stop him once and for all?

A truly excellent horror, packed full of the macabre and erotic vampiric savagery. Somehow a traditional circus and vampires really go together. Sci-fi icons David Prowse and Lalla Ward also star.

Are Crooks Dishonest? (1918)

Harold Lloyd and Snub Pollard play a couple of small time con artists who have the fruitful scheme of pretending to lose a valuable ring and then tricking people to hand over cash for rubbish. One of their unsuspecting mugs is the phoney mystic Professor Goulash (William Blaisdell). However, his daughter Miss Goulash (Bebe Daniels) sees through Harold and Snub's scheme and tricks them out of their money!

A charming comedy short. Harold Lloyd plays a bad guy (of sorts) for a change, the film is notable more for it's visual humour than all-out slapstick.

Frankenstein Island (1981)

A complete and utter mess of a film, that will test your stamina even if you like trash films. Four balloonists crash in the sea and end up on a remote island. But they discover the island is inhabited by young women in leopard skin bikinis. These girls like to dance and gyrate and play around with snakes. So life doesn't seem to bad for our four balloonists. 

But then they discover the island is also inhabited by drunk rough men and strange emotionless guys in black jumpers. An ancestor of Dr Frankenstein (John Carradine) - who randomly appears in visions ranting about golden threads - lives on the island too (Katharine Victor as Sheila Frankenstein - yes really) and is conducting various demented experiments to create an army of mutants. The scientists require the blood and flesh of our visitors and the young girls (of course). This sets the scene for one of the worse showdowns and final battles ever...

Oh the young girls are apparently aliens (of course). Nothing really makes sense with this film, especially as more and more randomness is thrown in as it progresses, you get the impression the script was about half a side of A4 and the rest was made up as they went along. 

Low budget (maybe should say zero budget) drivel that, despite the weirdness, is rather boring much of the time with little going on though the final battle is worth a watch due to it's sheer inanity. The four balloonists are so bland as characters its hard to remember much about them, you will remember the Frankenstein Monster when he finally appears however. You'll see better efforts at the average fancy dress party!