Indestructible Man (1956)

A kind of variation on the Frankenstein theme. "Butcher" Benton (Lou Chaney Jr) is a hardened criminal who goes to the gas chamber without telling the police where the loot from an armed robbery is stashed. His corpse is stolen by mad scientist Professor Bradshaw (Robert Shayne) for his medical experiments. Somehow his experiment brings Benton back to life, and what is more he is now virtually indestructible!

After killing the Prof, Benton goes in search of his moll Eva (Marian Carr), and his old gang. The latter he kills in his single minded pursuit of revenge. While Police Lieutenant Chasen (Mac Showalter) ...er.. chases down the gang (that name surely has to be an in-joke?), the police begin a search for Benton. Unfortunately, as bullets don't work on Benton, they come armed with bazookas and flamethrowers!

It is all a lot of nonsense but pretty entertaining. The film is pretty dark and violent as well as ridiculous. It is basically a noir crime drama with a supernatural/monster addition and pretty enjoyable.

The Apple (1980)

The year is 1994 and the world is controlled by BIM! BIM in fact being the highly addictive musical concoction of Mr Boogalow (Vladek Sheybal), who spends most of his time indulging with orgies with a whole host of freaks (and the rest of the time he wastes). 

Bibi (Catherine Mary Stewart) and Alphie (George Gilmore) are naive kids from rural Canada who have a dream to sing songs, but Mr Boogalow wants to drag them into his showbiz machine...

He indeed does get Bibi to sign but Alphie resists and he cast adrift from the extremely camp Mad Max style cast of BIM. Bibi gets drawn into a life of drugs and sex while Alphie lounges around writing songs and groping his landlady. Finally, Bibi sees the light and flees, and is reunited with Alphie who by now is in a hippy commune but Mr Boogalow isn't finished yet...

Quite frankly this is one of the strangest films ever made. A sci-fi comedy religious allegory musical. Although the future portrayed is largely nonsense you could say that the dark future envisaged back in 1980 did come true in some ways, with popular culture under the thumb of big corporations controlling kids of dubious talent. Unfortunately we didn't get the Mad Max / Gary Glitter-esque future outfits and cars with extra fibreglass panels added to them. 

The music (of this musical) isn't that bad and the sheer weirdness and campness of this film makes this highly enjoyable and entertaining despite how awful the story and acting mostly is. 

Brilliant nonsense. It really is quite extraordinary.

The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

An incredibly bizarre and sleazy horror film. Top surgeon Bill (Jason Evers) is in a car accident with his girlfriend Jan (Virginia Leith). As she lies dying in a burning car he... decided to cut off her head and then run to his secluded house where he is conducting twisted medical experiments. He manages to keep Jan's head alive and now he seeks a new body for her.

Despite the fact Jan has only a limited time left, Bill seems in no hurry to secure a new body. Indeed, he fancies an upgrade and cruises sleazy clubs looking for a suitable body and even a beauty pageant! Finally, he finds the suitable body in the form of a model, Doris (Adele Lamont) and takes her to his home. But things are going wrong in the lab. Jan has gained a kind of psychic power and directs the mutant beast Bill keeps locked away (the result of earlier experiments that did not quite go to plan) to kill Bill's assistant Kurt (Leslie Daniel). Then when Bill prepares to cut off Doris' head, the mutant (Eddie Carmel) breaks out of it's cell and wrecks havoc!

A low budget and low rent film. Shamelessly exploitative, including a scene where two strippers have a fight on the floor. It is macabre, pretty evil and rather cheesy. It isn't that good either, the film is a little too weird to be a trash cult classic and rather too dark at it's core. However, it should be experienced at least once.

Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter (1974)

Captain Kronos is a Hammer horror with a difference. As well as battling vampires with wooden stakes and crosses and the usual weapons against evil, vampire hunter Captain Kronos (Horst Janson) also uses various swords including one forged from a metal cross. He is in a small village along with his assistant and vampire expert Professor Grost (John Cater) and a maiden called Carla (Caroline Munro) whom Kronos is helping/bonking. The village has seen a number of horrific vampire attacks on young girls which leaves them as dying old women...

Kronos investigates with the help of his old comrade Dr Marcus (John Carson), but when he also falls foul of the vampires suspicion falls on the Durward family. Lady Durward (Wanda Ventham) is incredibly aged after the loss of her husband (William Hobbs) but is all that it seems?

This is not the usual Hammer fare, as well as plenty of sword play the film contains a deal of whimsy and oddness. The film is sexy and fun though also quite baffling and a little slow to get started. Although overall this is a good film it is not without it's issues. It was not the success Hammer was hoping for and unfortunately the planned series of Kronos films never came about.

Across the Mexican Line (1911)

Wartime melodrama. During the Mexican-American War, the Mexicans send Juanita (Francis Gibson) across into the American lines to seduce the enemy and find out their secrets. Juanita hits it off with Lieutenant Harvey (Romaine Fielding) who proceeds to... teach her telegraphy. An interesting first date.

However, Juanita is unable to discover the Americans' plans. She sneaks a Mexican officer into the telegraph office who captures Harvey and takes him back to Mexican lines. By now though Juanita is in love with Harvey and as he faces execution, she calls for help from the Americans thanks to her new telegraph skills...

An interesting little film directed by one of the first female filmmakers in Alice Guy Blanche. The film is rather static with the narrative driven mostly by the inter-titles. Not that unusual for it's day.

Lovely but Deadly (1981)

A truly terrible but oddly compelling and highly entertaining movie. Lovely (Lucinda Dooling) is a high school girl, who is wondering who supplied the drugs which killed her brother. 

This isn't that easy a task though as drug pushing is rampant at the school, and gangs of thugs roam the corridors in fencing outfits (really). Luckily for Lovely, she has some great karate skills and a plan. 

She infiltrates the cool group led by Mantis (Rick Moser) and this gets her introduced to creepy old guy Honest Charley (Richard Herd), who owns a chain of discount scores, and when he isn't trying to score with teen chicks he is drug running...

Now a prisoner of Honest Charley and his goons, Lovely discovers to her horror that her dopey boyfriend Javelin (Mark Holden) - part-time wannabe rock star / part-time teen shipping magnate - is heavily involved in the drug trade. The scene is set for a ridiculous showdown at the docks...

This is a crazy film, full of bad fights, pointless scenes and random weirdness. It is incredibly sloppily made as well. Spotting the boom mikes would probably be a great drinking game but you'll probably end up paralytic well before the end. All wonderful stuff and a fun film of course. Dooling is terrific in her role.

Doctor at Sea (1955)

To escape his boss' daughter (Joan Sims), Dr Sparrow (Dirk Bogarde) signs up to be the ship's doctor of a merchant ship captained by the formidable Hogg (James Robertson Justice). He finds that Hogg's ship, despite the captain's pretensions, is a dreadful old tub with booze instead of medicine and one-dimensional comedy stereotypes instead of actual crew.

Ashore on some far flung corner of the world (Brazil to be exact), Hogg finds, to his horror, he has to take the boss' daughter Muriel (Brenda de Banzie) back to Blighty, also along for the trip is Muriel's friend Helene (Brigette Bardot) who begins a romance with Dr Sparrow. However, the Doctor's medical skills are soon put to the test in more ways that one...

Although not rip-roaringly funny (though it has it's moments) this is an enjoyable romp with the right mixture of nonsense, mild smut and heart to make a typical, and very watchable, British comedy of the early post-war period.