Rescue Me (1992)

What on Earth is going on in this film? Nerdy Fraser (Stephen Dorff) is obsessed with Ginny (Ami Dolenz) at High School, so much so that he takes lots of photos of her and stalks her on his moped, its ok though this film takes place in the early 1990s when being a stalker of High School girls was cool. 

However, everything changes when Fraser accidentally stumbles upon some kind of criminal activity involving two dumb thugs and another thug and Ginny ends up kidnapped by the two thugs (William Lucking and Peter DeLuise).

Fraser blackmails the other thug, Mack (Michael Dudikoff), a former Vietnam vet to rescue Ginny. Mack wants to get back his stamps and/or his cash from the thugs. Fraser and Mack follow the pair across America to California, just a bungled attempt to stop them, a shoot-out in a hotel, and a car chase along mountain roads to report. Fraser and Mack begin to bond and Mack introduces Fraser to the joys to sleeping on beaches and with teenage prostitutes. Ginny meanwhile has escaped her hapless captors in Los Angeles but Fraser and Mack are in town too...

Quite a ridiculous film which makes little sense though is definitely fun in the great trash film tradition. The film is played pretty light, almost comedic though most of the humour is unintentional of course. Low on thrills, high on early 90s cheese.

Virgin Witch (1972)

A very good film, a 1970s supernatural horror with lots (and lots) of nudity. Sisters Christine (Ann Michelle) and Betty (Vicki Michelle) run away to London to seek their fortune as models, despite the warnings from Johnny (Keith Buckley) who befriends them (and has more than friendship in mind with Betty). Christine gets work with Sybil (Patricia Haynes), who obviously lusts for her, and the girls get invited to a remote country house for a photo shoot.

There, Christine discovers that the master of the house, Gerald (Neil Hallett) is a witch and heads a coven with Sybil the high priestess. She joins the coven and immediately uses her powers to take over. Putting everyone, including Johnny who has managed to track them down, under her power...

There isn't a great deal of horror though there is a lot of sex and nudity. The story is straight forward and moves along a pace with plenty left unanswered at the end.

Norman Checks In (1984)

The Norman short comedy films were rather strange, Douglas P MacIntosh made four films about his loser character Norman every five years between 1974 and 1989. So, this is the third film, made five years after Welcome Back, Norman. Norman has checked into a hotel but his desired room has been overbooked due to a taxidermy convention.

Instead he is given the hotel's room from hell. Noisy, cramped, with a broken shower and Norman ends up exposing himself to a maid! This is a very strange little film, amusing if not rip roaringly funny. Quite why it exists is still a mystery, but i am kind of glad it does.

From Soup to Nuts (1928)

A good Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy comedy short though not quite the best. Mrs Culpepper (Anita Garvin) wants to show off by holding a posh dinner party. She requires a couple of waiters, but unfortunately she gets Stan and Ollie! Mayhem obviously ensues. The mayhem is a little predictable though, when Ollie walks into the dining room carrying a huge cake you know he is going to end up with his face in it... and indeed he does, several times!

Mrs Culpepper also has a lot of trouble with a cherry but when Stan walks in to serve the salad in his underwear (he was told to serve the salad undressed of course) the cherry is soon forgotten. Good old fashioned fun.

Fun in Balloon Land (1965)

Many of the films reviewed on this blog make little sense, this film makes no sense whatsoever. The film is a child's dream, and his dream seems to involve giant inflatable characters who sound like they are shouting down tunnels, and a host of dancing characters. To be honest if this is what the child dreams of then they are probably in need of a child psychologist. They spend most of their time in their dream looking bored and confused, like everyone else, though it's their fault.

Then we see a parade to pad the film out, though to be honest it goes on so long it's more like the dream part of the film is the padding. Quite what this all means is unknown, but if you are of a sober inclination but you have wondered what it's like to be completely stoned out of your mind then this film is for you. Very weird indeed. It was probably made to advertise the Giant Balloon Parades Inc., or maybe psychedelic drugs.

Omega Cop (1990)

An incredibly low budget, high violence post-apocalyptic movie. It makes no sense naturally.

It is 1999 and society has broken down, due to solar flares which turns people into crazies (somehow). Travis (Ronald Marchini) is one of the last cops in the city (and soon the last one), sent by Prescott (Adam West) - with whom he has a hate-hate relationship - to stop slave traders. The raid, against the leather clad warlord Wraith (Chuck Katzakian) and his gang, goes badly and all of Travis' buddies die. He does save Lena (Meg Thayer) from a life on her back however.

As Travis wanders around the broken down city he also picks up two other women, and regularly fights gang members for almost any reason, including to get back his hat! After endless martial arts and gun battles, Wraith descends on Prescott's compound. Travis heads in for a showdown with Wraith... which doesn't actually happen.

The film is rather grubby and seems mostly to contain lost extras from Mad Max ripoffs and late 80s pop videos. The story is nonsense, the action isn't bad, the cheese factor is high. This makes Omega Cop quite a reasonable entry in the post-apocalypse movie genre to be honest.

A Candle for the Devil (1973)

A wonderfully dark and erotic horror. Strict religious sisters Marta (Aurora Batista) and Veronica (Esperanza Roy) own a Spanish guest house. Their religious sensibilities are offended by a new generation of young women whom they consider have low morals, though Veronica is sleeping with the servant boy half her age. When one young woman is accidentally killed, Marta regards it as judgment from God and the sisters cover up their crime. When the woman's sister Laura (Judy Geeson) turns up looking for her, things start to get tense and awkward questions get asked...

An erotic film with lots of nudity and lots of violent and grisly murder. The film portrays the divide between the old traditional religious morals and the new freer secular way. It also shows the hypocrisy of both worlds. A tense and exciting film.