Beaks! (1987)

A rather gruesome version of the "birds attacking humans" story, many pigeons were probably harmed bringing you this nonsense.

Why is unknown, and the way the film keeps jumping from random scene to random scene doesn't help, but birds have declared war on mankind. From the mightiest eagle to a budgerigar, they are all out to attack (with various degrees of devastation). TV reporter Vanessa (Michelle Johnson) and her cameraman Peter (Christopher Atkins) are sent to cover the attacks. Initially they are sceptical but soon they are fighting for their lives, even blowing up part of a train!

Meanwhile, highly successful hunter Arthur (Aldo Sambrell) - his house has more mounted skulls than walls, is hosting a childrens' party. What could go wrong? Much horror!

Rather gory and very ridiculous. It does have plenty of scary moments though. The effects are pretty well done, though in most cases it looks like pigeons were thrown at people. However, the story is rather poor and very disjointed. No explanation is given as to what is happening, and why very little is being done about it by the authorities. It isn't as bad as Birdemic: Shock & Terror, though that isn't a very high bar...

Speak Easily (1932)

Although best known as a silent movie comedy icon, this is a reasonable if not brilliant Buster Keaton talkie.

Shy academic Professor Potts (Keaton) thinks he has inherited a fortune, he thus decides to live life a little. Potts falls in love with a dancer called Pansy Peets (Ruth Selwyn), who is with a minor dance troupe led by James (Jimmy Durante). Potts funds the troupe to perform on Broadway. Unfortunately another actor, and a bit of a diva, in the form Eleanor (Thelma Todd) takes the part intended for Pansy. Somehow, despite Pott's meddling and the ensuring chaos, the show is a hit...

Completely unlike the energetic and highly physical silent movies Keaton made his name with, it isn't really that much of a comedy more a light hearted drama. It has plenty of good moments and humour but not quite enough to raise this much above the average though perfectly watchable.

Deadly Instincts (1997)

Yet another film about horny aliens who are lusting after Earth women.

A meteorite lands at a girl's school in Boston (which we know because of large signs everywhere which say BOSTON, even though it looks suspiciously like the other side of the Atlantic...)

Inside the meteorite is some kind of alien beast, who wants human women for breeding purposes. He obviously chose his landing point very well landing at a school full of horny teens. Student Louise (Samantha Womack) is fairly concerned for her missing friend, when she isn't sleeping with her teacher Ashley (Todd Jensen). Her friend unfortunately has become one of the alien's first victims. Ashley meanwhile is trying to find a young woman (Kadamba Simmons) who looks like she has escaped from an all-night goth club.

The police in the form of Moore (Oliver Tobias) is uninterested in talk of alien monsters, instead thinking Ashley is behind the disappearances. Soon however, he is also hunting the monster alongside Louise and Ashley in the rather remarkably complicated tunnels under the school...

A silly film. Filmed in the Isle of Man with a mostly British cast, who attempt their American accents with varying degrees of failure. Overall the film is a reasonable sci-fi horror and fairly exploitative (not a bad thing). It looks good though is lacking in the plot department. Enjoyable junk.

Gamera vs. Barugon (1966)

Has the mighty flying turtle met his match in a creature from New Guinea which has a freeze ray?

Hirata (Kojiro Hongo) and Onodera (Koji Fujiyama) head to New Guinea to retrieve a massive opal hidden during the war. They head into a scorpion filled cave despite the warnings of native girl Karen (Kyoko Enami) and indeed find the huge gem. However, Onodera decides he doesn't want to share anymore and tries to kill Hirata. He heads to Japan on his own. But the opal actually isn't, it is an egg. It hatches in Japan, the huge monster Barugon begins to wreck the usual kind of havoc.

Gamera is attracted by the mayhem and fights Barugon though is defeated by it's freeze ray. Hirata and Karen are now in Japan and help the military with various schemes to try and defeat Barugon, despite the treachery of Onodera. The schemes fall short but Gamera is revived just in time to fight Barugon in an epic final battle.

This is the usual Japanese monster movie fare, plenty of destruction, plenty of waddling monsters destroying buildings and tanks. Barugon's rainbow ray is a rather lovely effect. The jungle scenes and Onodea's antics add a bit more interest beyond the usual monster battles.

French Connection II (1975)

The sequel to the brilliant French Connection, the story continues a few years later as Popeye Doyle (Gene Hackman) continues his hunt for the drug baron Charnier (Fernando Rey). However, now Doyle has arrived in Marseilles where he is to work with (more or less) Inspector Henri Barthélémy (Bernard Fresson). Unbeknownst to Doyle he is really in France to act as bait to bring Charnier out into the open.

Doyle's relationship with the French police is rather fraught and he ends up a prisoner of Charnier. Kept in a dingy hotel for several weeks he is hooked on heroine. Finally, when back in police hands Doyle has to get over his addiction the hard way. This then sets the scene for a thrilling final fight and chase with Charnier.

A very good film, maybe not quite as good as the original though not far behind. The pacing seems a bit uneven and Doyle's lack of a sidekick (apart from Henri at times) means the film lacks some of the interplay of the first. The grime and squalor of New York is swapped for that of Marseilles. Different country but same old world of addiction and vice.

The Great St. Louis Bank Robbery (1959)

A reasonable (though not much more) bank robbery film with a touch of Noir about it.

Old blagger Egan (Crahan Denton) assembles a team to rob a bank in St. Louis. The team includes young George (Steve McQueen) as the getaway driver, although he has no experience in this kind of caper. While Egan begins to plan the heist intricately, there is a complication. George used to go out with the sister, Ann (Molly McCarthy) of his fellow bank robber Gino (David Clarke). When she sees Gino and George together, near a bank, she puts two and two together and makes five...

The film is a bit slow, though has plenty of atmosphere and some interesting and fairly dark asides including Egan explaining why he hates women so much. The action is pretty sparse though until the actual robbery near the end. The film was based on a real raid and some of the police and bank employees from the real case took part in this.

An interesting film but could have been more.

She (1935)

The search for eternal life, which apparently is in a mysterious lost world in the far North with a cast of thousands.

Leo Vincey (Randolph Scott) is recruited by Holly (Nigel Bruce) for a strange expedition. Vincey is told that his ancestor discovered the secret of eternal life, though died (so not sure how useful this secret must be?) Leo Vincey and Holly head to the Arctic. They are hustled by Dugmore (Lumsden Hare) to take him and his dogsbody daughter Tanya (Helen Mack) with them. After Dugmore dies in an avalanche, the entrance to a mysterious world is revealed. A world under the rule of a ruthless queen (Helen Gahagen) and characters in every possible combination of "ancient" outfit imaginable, She who be obeyed.

She is immortal and has loved the original Vincey for hundreds of years, thinking Leo is that man and has finally come back to to her. She says she will share the secret of eternal life with Leo though the fate of Tanya, with whom Leo has fallen in love, is less wholesome...

Highly dramatic fun, the kind of massive opulent production Hollywood used to love. The final ceremony scene does go on a little too long though is spectacular. With all the over dramatic nonsense going on all around, the oddly expressionless Randolph Scott really stands out!