Kickboxing Academy (1999)

An unbelievable film, at times so bad you wonder if its some kind of elaborate joke being played on you?

Two martial arts academies are in conflict. The deranged Tarbeck (Tony Pacheco), with his military themed evil academy, is ranged against June (Donna Barnes) and her kickboxing academy. With the help of the money man Maddox (Tom Scalise), Tarbeck aims to take over June's academy after they defeat them in a contest...

June needs her best fighter back, but Danny (Christopher Khayman Lee) doesn't want to fight anymore. Can his new squeeze, and also a kickboxer, Cindy (Chyler Leigh) persuade him? When you see them snog bear in mind that they are a real life brother and sister...

This is a really really strange film. Characters are random, many barely one dimensional. The plot is also random and makes little sense (an unexplained ninja attack in a restaurant car park, really?) It is superbly weird and highly entertaining, somehow. 

Terror in the Wax Museum (1973)

A complete scream, in more ways than one. 

A ridiculously creepy wax museum in foggy old London town consists only of wax exhibits of notorious murderers. It is run by Dupree (John Carradine) who wants to sell out to American businessman Burns (Broderick Crawford). Dupree is soon found dead, apparently killed by Jack the Ripper! When Dupree's niece Margaret (Nicole Shelby) turns up, the strange happenings continue as she thinks the wax dummies come to life at night!

The murders continue too despite the efforts of the police in the form of Sergeant Hawks (Mark Edwards), probably because he seems more interested in taking down Margaret's particulars than anything else. Suspicion falls on the hunchback Karkov (Steven Marlo) though thats too obvious...

A superbly fun (and often cheesy) horror film with a real old skool feel to it (including some of the veteran actors on show including Elsa Lanchester and Ray Milland). A wax museum is always a perfect setting for a horror film, especially as the "dummies" move when they get close-ups!

The Man Who Cheated Himself (1950)

A satisfying slice of Noir.

Frazer (Harlan Warde) is divorcing his wife, the wealthy Lois (Jane Wyatt) but he is also planning to kill her. Lois discovers the plot and calls on her boyfriend Ed Cullen (Lee J Cobb) who just happens to be a Police lieutenant on Homicide. When Frazer acts, he is gunned down by Lois while Ed is present. Now he tries to cover up Lois' crime...

With the body and gun disposed of Ed thinks he is in the clear, unfortunately his younger brother Andy (John Dall) has just joined the force. The eager young detective is just too inquisitive and soon is finding things out about his brother he never expected...

This is a good police drama with the added tension of Ed's involvement in the crime. His careful plan soon starts to unravel, not helped by Lois who is a little overwrought which can be annoying at times. The final act at an abandoned military base is full of tension.

Pit and the Pendulum (1961)

A superb Gothic horror.

Francis (John Kerr) turns up at the castle of Medina (Vincent Price) after the apparent death of his sister Elizabeth (Barbara Steele) who was married to the mysterious Medina. Francis discovers that Elizabeth was apparently driven insane by the sinister atmosphere of the castle due to the awful tortures which took place due to Medina'a father, a notorious Inquisitor.

However, Francis is sceptical and with the help of Dr Leon (Antony Carbone) and Medina's sister Catherine (Luana Anders) he tries to find out what really happened. Indeed there is something else going on, something quite unexpected indeed. Francis ends up strapped to a table above a pit by a deranged Medina, while a blade descends to slice him up!

Campy and quite over the top, this is all a Gothic horror should be. Vincent Price is his usual self amid the grotesque and macabre torture equipment and scenes of Hell.

The Soldier (1982)

Insanely violent, insanely confusing, its just... insane.

The KGB led by Jeremiah Sullivan steal plutonium from the US to make a nuclear bomb (quite why they need to steal some when they have plenty of their own is never explained). The bomb is placed at an oil field in Saudi Arabia. An ultimatum is issued to Israel to withdraw from the West Bank or the bomb will be detonated and wipe out half of the world's oil reserves...

While the US plan to attack Israel, the CIA have their own secret weapon: The Soldier (Ken Wahl). He is an elite, and unpredictable, operative. He, and his team (which includes Steve James), are tasked to stop the Russian plot. He does this by hijacking a US ICBM and threatens to start World War 3...

So, the film makes no sense whatsoever. The plot is a mixture of mad right-wing conspiracy theorist wet dream and sub-Bond weirdness. The violence is gratuitous, and doesn't always serve to drive the story forward in any way. It's a great watch of course.

Gunsmoke Ranch (1937)

One of the Three Mesquiteers series of B-movie Western, it isn't anything other than a routine example of the genre.

Following devastating floods which destroy farmland, Flagg (Kenneth Harlan) offers to relocate the farmers on new land which he has bought and will sell to them cheap. However, the Three Mesquiteers: Stony Brooke (Robert Livingston), Tucson Smith (Ray Corrigan) and Lullaby Joslin (Max Terhune) discover that Flagg is a crook. The land the new farmers have bought from Flagg is due to be submerged when a new dam is built...

It is all rather formulaic to be honest. Plenty of gun fights on horseback and other scraps (of dubious standard), a couple of country songs and some humour. Nothing in this film is that original but it is reasonably competent and worthwhile.

Viva Knievel! (1977)

Evel Knievel was a huge star in the 1970s, but could he act? Well this performance win't win any awards but it is generally competent. Unfortunately the film is as bad as you think it might be...

Evel is doing his death defying motorbike jump act in front of adoring crowds (or people who want to see him crash anyway). Drug lord Millard (Leslie Neilsen) has an evil plan, he will take Evel to Mexico, cause the crash and death of the superstar and then smuggle drugs into the US using Evel's corpse...

Evel is manipulated into heading to Mexico by drugged up rival Jessie (Marjoe Gortner). There, Millard arranges for Evel's mechanic Atkins (Gene Kelly - no really!) to be locked up in a sanitarium so the bike can be switched for a booby trapped one. Can Evel and his new squeeze Kate (Lauren Hutton) stop the evil plan?

By now Evel was filling out his jump suit a little too much, so to speak, so the action scenes are pretty low voltage and sometimes go on a little too long. The plot is clunky as well with almost infinite amounts of cheese. It is terrible, and great of course. Unfortunately, just after the film came out Evel beat up his promoter for real with a baseball bat, kind of ruining his hero image a bit!