The Thundering Ninja (1987)

Incredible martial arts nonsense as the CIA take on a ninja crime organisation.

Plans for a ballistic missile are wanted by the ninjas (quite why is unknown) led by Pedro Ernyes. However, despite ambushing some suits, the ninjas are still to get their hands on the plans. CIA agent, and ninja, Sydney (Stuart Smith) employs his investigator (Wang Yin) to find out who is behind the ninja's plans. The investigator's son (Jimmy Wang) is part of the ninja's support gang and gets into many fights. Finally, Sydney foils the ninja plans to get the plans and prepares for a showdown with the boss...

This film is one of those 1980s ninja epics which employed much footage from another, earlier, film to pad it out. The scenes with Jimmy Wang and Wang Yin comes from the 1970s Taiwanese film The Criminal. The footage is heavily doctored and re-dubbed to try and fit in with the ninja plot. It doesn't quite work though as in all of these mash-ups as the actors from the two films of course never meet (though they do "speak" over the telephone!)

This is a fun film though, completely crazy. The ninja action is incredibly over the top, just as it should be. It shouldn't work, but somehow it does.

One Away (1976)

A rather ropey but appealing prison escape drama.

Gypsy Tam (Patrick Mower) escapes from a prison in South Africa following an accident at his prison work party. As he tries to make good his escape, the authorities are in pursuit. His best chance for freedom depends on his brothers Ruben (Bradford Dillman), Pete (Dean Stockwell) and Elsa (Elke Sommers) plus plenty of hot motorbike action across the countryside.

This is a pretty rough film though it is pretty watchable. Everything has a certain tough yet whimsical edge to it. The motorbike chase scenes are terrific.

Lucky Ghost (1942)

Mantan Moreland and F.E. Miller tear it up again in this hilarious comedy with an all-black cast.

Two friends (Moreland and Miller) are two friends down on their luck, forced to walk the roads between towns and try and steal chickens (though failing). Then they encounter some fancy dudes in their swish car, and win everything in a game of dice. They head off to an illegal country club run by Blake (Maceo Bruce Sheffield) who has a side line in crooked gambling. However, Moreland's gambling skills can defeat even that. But there is more to this club than meets the eye, there are some supernatural guests to content with plus Blake's jealous eye for his girlfriend.

This really is a great romp with superb interplay between the main cast and ridiculous comedy situations. So much humour is packed into a short film it is quite easy to miss stuff, but fear not as there will be another joke along in five seconds.

Escape from DS-3 (1981)

Very low budget science fiction, which is surprising good even though not that much happens.

In some future nightmare where everyone wears matching bright polyester outfits, intelligence agent Lavette (Jackson Bostwick) is framed for a crime and sent to an orbital prison. After a short tour of the prison (which includes brutal future electro torture by sadistic guards, constant surveillance and scheduled sexbot sessions) Lavette decides to escape. He concocts a complicated plan with his three of his fellow prisoners including Bubba Smith who would later star in Police Academy.

This is a very cheaply made film, the future seems to consist of endless grey corridors and matching jumpsuits. This film does not have a great deal of action until the very end and then the film concludes quite abruptly. Before that we have a lot of slow build-up and tension as Lavette prepares for the escape. 

Somehow this is quite an enjoyable and watchable film, despite everything.

Santo vs the Vampire Women (1962)

Masked wrestling super hero antics which takes a while to get going.

A group of vampires led by their queen Zorina (Lorena Velazquez) need a new fresh body to be the next bride of Satan, they choose the daughter of Professor Orlof (Augusto Benedico), Diana (Maria Duval). Only one man can save Diana and foil the vampires, the wrestling legend Santo! 

This is great fun, one of many Mexican films starring real Lucha Libre wrestlers as the heroes and Santo was the greatest of them all, this being just one of dozens of films he made. The only problem with the film is the lengthy first act which includes much slow vampire ritual and pointless moving from one spooky room to the other. Once Santo gets involved then the action and pace really hots up.

Shadow of Chinatown (Serial) (1936)

A rather dreary serial, which even Bela Lugosi can't save.

A European import company is trying to put Chinese businesses out of action in Chinatown. The company is led by the Dragon Lady (Luana Walters) who hires Poten (Lugosi) to aid her. Poten is a mad racist who runs a string of crazy plans against the Chinese, foiled over and over again by keen reporter Joan (Joan Barclay) and her sweetheart Martin (Bruce Bennett)... oh and the police too. Things come to a head when Poten disguises himself as a Chinese waiter and plants to poison everyone at a banquet...

To be honest the final act is rather lame after a series of death defying cliff hangers which doesn't really make the struggle to get there that worthwhile. The serial isn't the most thrilling example in the genre, don't expect any death rays or other mad science. Do expect some rather awkward dialogue, sloppy execution (even by the usual standard of serials) and dated stereotypes. 

The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

Low budget, average thrills, high unintentional humour in this sci-fi horror nonsense.

Steve (Alex Rebar) is the only survivor of a mission into deep space. However, he may have survived but he has been horribly deformed... literally melting flesh. He is also driven crazy with a taste for human flesh, after eating a nurse he escapes the hospital. Dr Nelson (Burr DeBrenning) is tasked him tracking down Steve (who apparently is radioactive as well as melting) before the secret of Steve's fate reaches the public... and before he wiped out too many people. Dr Nelson is under pressure from General Perry (Myron Healey) who seems to like eating his breakfast in a power station control room.

This is a ridiculous film with many strange scenes including one where Nelson speaks to a colleague while travelling on a large flat bed trolley, the engine sound almost drowning out the dialogue! The attack scenes by Steve are very silly but it can be scary at times as well. The title is the best bit of the film though.