Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Terror at Tenkiller (1986)

A slasher horror film though one of the slowest moving ones ever. Young ladies Leslie (Stacy Logan) and Janna (Michele Merchant) head off to a remote cabin in the woods for a vacation to escape the psycho ex Josh (Kevin Meyer). Their holiday resort includes all the usual facilities: a lake, great food, peace and quiet and a maniac killing people in the night...

Although in between the fairly infrequent murders there is a lot of aimless talking and mundane activities. There isn't a huge amount of suspense as the identity of the murderer is clear. There is a creepy old man with a beard called Preacher (Dale Buckmaster) but he gets killed pretty quickly by murderous hunk Tor (Michael Shamus Wiles)...

The padding is ridiculous. The film has about twenty minutes of story. The acting, when there is some, doesn't exactly set the world on fire. The music sounds like a bored animal meandering across a set of keyboards. So it is a terrible film but if approached in the right way (ruthlessly take the piss out of it) then there is some enjoyment to be gleaned from this drivel. But not a lot.

Monday, March 9, 2020

The Guy from Harlem (1977)

Blaxploitation films were not generally known for their high production values but this film is pretty low-rent even for the sub-genre however that doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable.

Al Connors (Loye Hawkins) is a private eye covered in loud late 70s fashion who is hired by the CIA to protect a Princess (Patricia Fulton) from an African country. Some vague bad guys try and kidnap the Princess but Al foils them with some badly choreographed fighting, and also ends up having sex with her...

And then Al is given a different job (completely unrelated to the first case), a hoodlum (Steve Gallon) hires him to save his daughter Wanda (Cathy Davis) who has been kidnapped. Al saves Wanda (and has sex with her too). Al then has a showdown with Big Daddy (Wayne Crawford)...

So the film is terribly acted and has awful production values. Obviously it is also hilarious. It is a film for men in flares brawling awkwardly, a film for crazy wallpaper and flubbed lines.

Friday, March 6, 2020

American Aristocracy (1916)

The age old story: boy meets girl, boy has to fight pirate arms smugglers. Cassius (Douglas Fairbanks) is an entomologist who stumbles into the 1910s high society in a US port, which basically consists of a lot of rich men and their bored wives and daughters. Geraldine (Jewel Carmen) is one of those bored gals, she is looking for a real man...

Cassius becomes infatuated with Geraldine but he lacks the vital ingredient to get into her high society circle: a lot of cash. His new friend Percy (Albert Parker) however offers to help him pretend to be dashing and loaded. However Cassius then discovers Percy is a gun runner supplying arms to the Central Powers in WWI...

A light action comedy with the usual incredible athleticism from Fairbanks. The film is a bit slow to get started (though has some interesting satire on American society of the period) but soon warms up, maybe a bit predictably but it is enjoyable enough. The film is notable for being the first film outing of a very young Douglas Fairbanks Jr, who has a bit part as a paper boy.



Thursday, March 5, 2020

The Reptile (1966)

Harry Spalding (Ray Barrett) and his wife Valerie (Jennifer Daniel) inherit the lonely Cornish cottage of his recently deceased brother Charles (David Baron). Charles died of the same mysterious affliction, and in the same horrific manner, that is plaguing the village. Though no one wants to talk about it...

Dr Franklyn (Noel Willman) is also very mysterious and rather unhelpful (though maybe because people think he is a medical doctor when he is actually a doctor of philosophy so can't help with their bad backs). He also has a strange relationship with his daughter Anna (Jacqueline Pearce), her mood also changes especially when the mysterious Malay servant (Marne Maitland) is around. Harry is eager to find out what is going on in the village and what (or whom) killed his brother but is it something beyond the realms of normal understanding? Finally Tom (Michael Ripper) the landlord helps him... er dig up some graves.

A creepy Hammer Horror and wonderfully dark it is too. We don't see the "monster" until the final act, before that suspense and suggestion is used and used perfectly too.

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

The House of Rothschild (1934)

A biopic on the banking family that became the richest in the world (and the subject of a million bonkers conspiracy theories of course). This film follows the Rothschild family from their fairly humble beginnings in Prussia where the family headed by Mayer Rothschild (George Arliss) are Jewish moneylenders always on the watch for the tax collectors...

After the death of Mayer his sons build a banking empire across Europe including Nathan (also played by Arliss) who founds the London branch of the family. He goes on to finance Wellington's war against Napoleon. The Duke of Wellington (C. Aubrey Smith) pays homage to Rothschild but antisemitic feelings in Europe are never far away especially from the Prussian Count Ledrantz (Boris Karloff). The film is lavish and well produced, the last few minutes becoming Technicolor.

An interesting film, much of the time is taken with a romance between Nathan's daughter Julie (Loretta Young) and Gentile Captain Fitzroy (Robert Young) which helps add a bit of heart to a film otherwise dominated by financial wheeler dealing. At times the history may have been somewhat questionable though much of the film is factual. The film was an attempt to counter growing antisemitism, the idea was noble but as the following years would sadly show a little too late...



Tuesday, March 3, 2020

The Lucky Dog (1921)

A decent if run of the mill comedy starring Stan Laurel as a penniless young man who has various adventures with a mongrel dog.

What makes the film notable though is that Oliver Hardy also has a small role playing a thief and this is the first time which Laurel and Hardy appear in together on screen... though with different characters compared to their later immortal double act.

Stan falls for a young woman (Florence Gilbert) who owns a poodle. Stan's dog also takes a liking to the poodle. Many high jinks to follow. A light slapstick comedy and enjoyable enough on it's own but also highly fascinating for historical reasons.

Monday, March 2, 2020

Strike of the Panther (1988)

The sequel to Day of the Panther, Jason Blade (Edward John Stazak) stars in another Australian martial arts epic. After a fairly lengthy recap the story continues from the end of the last film. Jason and Gemma (Paris Jefferson) are now an item but Baxter (Jim Richards) has escaped from prison. He kidnaps Gemma and holes up in a power station full of explosives...

In a somewhat contrived and confusing story Jason has to first face an army of ski mask wearing ninjas before he can face Baxter in a final showdown, save Gemma and stop the power station being blowing up and poisoning half of Perth!

So quite similar to the first film though maybe a little more weird, including a rather strange fight in a brothel complete with blow up dolls and a man in a chicken suit. It is also more violent with lots of sword play and garroting. As with the first film the acting is middling to poor but the action is decent and with this kind of film that is the important thing. Enjoyable nonsense.