Pit and the Pendulum (1961)

A superb Gothic horror.

Francis (John Kerr) turns up at the castle of Medina (Vincent Price) after the apparent death of his sister Elizabeth (Barbara Steele) who was married to the mysterious Medina. Francis discovers that Elizabeth was apparently driven insane by the sinister atmosphere of the castle due to the awful tortures which took place due to Medina'a father, a notorious Inquisitor.

However, Francis is sceptical and with the help of Dr Leon (Antony Carbone) and Medina's sister Catherine (Luana Anders) he tries to find out what really happened. Indeed there is something else going on, something quite unexpected indeed. Francis ends up strapped to a table above a pit by a deranged Medina, while a blade descends to slice him up!

Campy and quite over the top, this is all a Gothic horror should be. Vincent Price is his usual self amid the grotesque and macabre torture equipment and scenes of Hell.

The Soldier (1982)

Insanely violent, insanely confusing, its just... insane.

The KGB led by Jeremiah Sullivan steal plutonium from the US to make a nuclear bomb (quite why they need to steal some when they have plenty of their own is never explained). The bomb is placed at an oil field in Saudi Arabia. An ultimatum is issued to Israel to withdraw from the West Bank or the bomb will be detonated and wipe out half of the world's oil reserves...

While the US plan to attack Israel, the CIA have their own secret weapon: The Soldier (Ken Wahl). He is an elite, and unpredictable, operative. He, and his team (which includes Steve James), are tasked to stop the Russian plot. He does this by hijacking a US ICBM and threatens to start World War 3...

So, the film makes no sense whatsoever. The plot is a mixture of mad right-wing conspiracy theorist wet dream and sub-Bond weirdness. The violence is gratuitous, and doesn't always serve to drive the story forward in any way. It's a great watch of course.

Gunsmoke Ranch (1937)

One of the Three Mesquiteers series of B-movie Western, it isn't anything other than a routine example of the genre.

Following devastating floods which destroy farmland, Flagg (Kenneth Harlan) offers to relocate the farmers on new land which he has bought and will sell to them cheap. However, the Three Mesquiteers: Stony Brooke (Robert Livingston), Tucson Smith (Ray Corrigan) and Lullaby Joslin (Max Terhune) discover that Flagg is a crook. The land the new farmers have bought from Flagg is due to be submerged when a new dam is built...

It is all rather formulaic to be honest. Plenty of gun fights on horseback and other scraps (of dubious standard), a couple of country songs and some humour. Nothing in this film is that original but it is reasonably competent and worthwhile.

Viva Knievel! (1977)

Evel Knievel was a huge star in the 1970s, but could he act? Well this performance win't win any awards but it is generally competent. Unfortunately the film is as bad as you think it might be...

Evel is doing his death defying motorbike jump act in front of adoring crowds (or people who want to see him crash anyway). Drug lord Millard (Leslie Neilsen) has an evil plan, he will take Evel to Mexico, cause the crash and death of the superstar and then smuggle drugs into the US using Evel's corpse...

Evel is manipulated into heading to Mexico by drugged up rival Jessie (Marjoe Gortner). There, Millard arranges for Evel's mechanic Atkins (Gene Kelly - no really!) to be locked up in a sanitarium so the bike can be switched for a booby trapped one. Can Evel and his new squeeze Kate (Lauren Hutton) stop the evil plan?

By now Evel was filling out his jump suit a little too much, so to speak, so the action scenes are pretty low voltage and sometimes go on a little too long. The plot is clunky as well with almost infinite amounts of cheese. It is terrible, and great of course. Unfortunately, just after the film came out Evel beat up his promoter for real with a baseball bat, kind of ruining his hero image a bit!

Doctor Blood's Coffin (1961)

A low-key horror film of twisted medical experiments, slow moving but one worth waiting for to get to the end.

Dr Peter Blood (Kieron Moore) arrives back at the sleepy Cornish village he grew up in, having left a medical research facility in Vienna for some reason. Meanwhile men are disappearing, though Peter is keen to help the police especially when a man turns up dying. Later he is discovered during the autopsy conducting a bizarre medical experiment. He thinks he can bring the dead back to life.

When his girlfriend Linda (Hazel Court) discovers what he is doing she is repulsed. Peter plans to bring Linda's dead husband back to life to finish his experiment...

For much of this film this is more of a mystery than a horror. The film is perfectly paced and gradually builds up to a fine macabre final act with a big twist. 

The Pawnshop (1916)

More Charlie Chaplin mayhem, this time in a pawnshop where Charlie works.

Charlie causes a mess at the shop while "cleaning" (including destroying his feather duster in an electric fan). This enrages his fellow shop assistant (John Rand) with whom Charlie seems to have a hate-hate relationship. More trouble comes though when a customer (Albert Austin) brings in a clock for examination which Charlie destroys...

The usual antics and slapstick. Chaplin hadn't quite perfected his comedy short formula though was getting there. This one is a fine viewing though had a little too much pointless slap and not quite enough story explaining why.

Puberty Blues (1981)

A tale of Aussie teen life in the early 1980s, which seems to have consisted of a lot of surf and a lot of sex.

Sue (Jad Capelja) and Debbie (Nell Schofield) are teenage girls living in the suburbs of Sydney. Their lives consist of cheating in exams (by writing the answers on their thighs), smoking in school toilets and hanging out on the beach with dumb guys who are only really interested in surf and want girls to serve their needs in various ways. The girls are desperate to be in the cool clique and not with the loser geeks (naturally). It is a vacuous life of course, the grown-ups try their best to put the youth on the straight and narrow. 

But never mind all that, the story is told from the point of view of the teens and, while artistically it won't uproot any trees, the film is strangely engaging and quite nostalgic for anyone who was a teen in the 1980s. The film has a fairly light touch, plenty of comedy though the more you know of 80s Aussie pop culture and life the more jokes you'll get. By the way there was nothing wrong with being a loser geek in the 80s, you just end up writing a blog like this one.,,