L' Orgie Romaine (1911)

The hedonistic lives of the Roman Emperors (at least in popular imagination) have always been a rich subject for film. In this early film we follow the notorious Heliogabalus (Jean Aymé) as he indulges himself with a harem of women, boys and also lions!

Heliogabalus comes to a sticky end though when the Pretorian Guard finally tire of his cruelty and deviance. Live by the orgy, die by the sword as they probably never said.

A luscious film that certainly had no shortage of extras and fancy costumes. The camera is rather static and the acting frequently over dramatic but a good story is told none the less.

Gog (1954)

A bit slow and steady but a satisfying (and fairly realistic) sci-fi horror.

Dr Sheppard (Richard Egan) is assigned to a secret scientific base in the desert to investigate a couple of unexplained deaths in the lab. Dr Van Ness (Herbert Marshall) is keen to show him the scientific marvel he commands, everything controlled by a computer. That includes a couple of robots (one of them called Gog which explains the mysterious title).

However, an unnamed foreign power has infiltrated the base and is using radio waves to gain control of the computer and the robots. Can Sheppard and Merritt (Constance Dowling) stop the robots from blowing up the base in an atomic explosion?

This is a marvellous feast for fans of early computing with it's punched paper tape controlled robots and IBM teletype terminals. The film makes great use of real scientific footage to appear as plausible as possible (especially for the time period and genre). This does make the film slow at times but it is well worth it. No aliens to scare you this time but plenty of SCIENCE.

All Coppers Are... (1972)

Although not perfect, a really enjoyable early 1970s crime film.

Wannabe gangster Barry (Nicky Henson) has worked out a blag on a London cigarette factory. He meets Sue (Julia Foster) at a party, as well as Joe (Martin Potter). The three form a love triangle, though when Barry and Sue discover Joe is a police constable that all changes. Although Sue has real feelings for Joe (as does he, despite his wife (Wendy Allnut) and child!) her future is with Barry who is getting ready to raid the factory, though you just know Joe will get involved...

This is one of those films which you need to approach the right way to truly enjoy. That way to treat this as including footage from a long episode of the Sweeney. Wade (Ian Hendry) provides most of that with his cockney hardman character. The film has plenty of flaws, including most of the lead characters being rather unlikeable. It does look great though.

A really nostalgic film for 1970s London, when real working class people could live there, and you could easily find a parking space.

Carry on Columbus (1992)

The last Carry On film to be made, and you can see why...

The Turkish Sultan (Rik Mayall) is making a mint from trade heading to Europe from the East, however he discovers that a Portuguese map maker called Columbus (Jim Dale) is planning to find an alternative sea route which could ruin him. The Sultan sends his spy Fatima (Sara Crowe) and agent Achmed (Alexi Sayle) to stop him. Columbus has got funding from the King of Spain (Leslie Phillips) and is going to set sail...

Well we all know what happens of course. This is the usual mix of terrible jokes, double entendres and mild saucy antics that made the Carry On series such an icon of British comedy. 

Unfortunately apart from Jim Dale the old Carry On crew had either passed on or did not want to be involved with this film and much of the humour falls flat. Terrible lines which Sid James or Kenneth Williams made hilarious unfortunately fail without them. Some of the humour, such as the Inquisition scenes, does work but mostly because it has been updated a bit.

It's a terrible shame it had to end this way.

Killers from Space (1954)

Aliens invade Earth but rarely has it been as dull as this.

Atomic scientist Dr Martin (Peter Graves) disappears during a nuclear test when his plane crashes. He turns up a while later, with a gap in his memory. He finally recalls that he was contacted by aliens who plan to invade and conquer the Earth with giant spiders and lizards and other creepy crawlies the camera has zoomed in on.

The US military is naturally skeptical about Dr Martin's story, especially when he tells them the US should nuke the aliens in their underground base before it's too late. Then Dr Martin has the idea to cut power to the alien base which will make them explode (for some reason). What then follows is one of the most boring chase scenes through a power station you can imagine...

This really isn't a good film. The budget is low and the film is padded out ridiculously. Ironically the use of stock military footage of 1950s US jets and helicopters at the start of the film, originally just to pad the film out, is probably one of the best bits! Amusingly some of the actors sound half-cut while reciting their lines.

A Woman (1915)

An intriguing Charlie Chaplin film where he dresses as a woman in order to be near a woman.

While his wife (Marta Golden) and daughter (Edna Purviance) snooze in the park, Father (Charles Inslee) gets bored/horny and starts chasing after a young woman (Margie Reiger). However, the arrival of Charlie throws all of Father's wooing up in the air, and into the lake to be exact. The two sleeping ladies awake and both fall for Charlie though of course Father forbids it. Charlie resorts to dressing as a woman in order to continue his wooing of the daughter. Unfortunately Father quite fancies this new "lady" who has come to the house...

Not the best Charlie Chaplin short comedy of the decade, the comedy style was still evolving, but certainly well worth watching. Chaplin makes a rather convincing female it has to be said.

Morons from Outer Space (1985)

An entertaining and often funny film that poses the important question: what if we are finally visited by aliens from outer space, but they are idiots?

Sandra (Joanne Pearce), Desmond (Jimmy Nail) and Julian (Paul Bown) are aliens (who have human form... and names!) who accidentally crash on Earth leaving their leader Bernard (Mel Smith) marooned in space. The authorities excited probe and question the visitors but are soon left disappointed at the apparent lack of intellect. US official Laribee (James Sikking) is suspicious and thinks things will come flying from their heads. Minor TV reporter Graham (Griff Rhys Jones) helps breaks the visitors out and into the public. Overnight they become a pop sensation despite not really having any abilities whatsoever...

Bernard has finally made it to Earth though no one believes he is an alien too. Can he reunite with his former crew who have now arrived in the US for a massive concert?

An amiable and silly if not brilliant film. The humour is good though stretched a bit thinly at times (the story would have probably been better served by a series of skits in the Alas Smith & Jones TV show). You could say it is rather far fetched though, as if some talentless nobodies could become world famous just by being idiots? Now that is science fiction, isn't it?