Final Justice (1984)

A ridiculous film but certainly fun.

Deputy Geronimo (Joe Don Baker) is a tough (though also rather large) Texan lawman. His friend is gunned down by Mafiosi Palermo (Venantino Venantini), but Geronimo arrests him. Palermo is to be extradited back to Italy, Geronimo is sent to accompany him. However, mysterious engine trouble means the plane lands in Malta instead. Palermo is soon rescued by his henchmen.

Geronimo seeks to recapture Palermo with the help of a young policewoman (Patrizia Pellagrino), much to the annoyance of the local police (Lino Grech), and the Mafia. Geronimo gets into many scrapes, and a number of gunfights. He also gets into a rather bizarre bar fight where he fights people with rather terrible props. It ends up in a dogged battle to the death with Palermo... eventually.

This isn't a good film by any measure though is bizarre and silly enough to be very watchable. Geronimo, with his stetson, cowhide jacket and great size stands out a mile in every Maltese scene. 

Topper Returns (1941)

Some rip roaring fun, in a house where things go bump in the night...

Cosmo Topper (Roland Young) ends up having to take two young ladies to their home after a car accident. At their home we discover that Ann (Carole Landis) has returned home after years in the Orient and bought her friend Gail (Joan Blondell). That night a mysterious masked figure kills Gail, though we discover that it was by accident and Ann was the real target...

Gail's ghost goes and summons Topper for help. He finds Ann's house full of mysterious characters such as Dr Jeris (George Zucco) who is looking after Ann's father (HB Warner). The house is also full of trap doors that lead to secret chambers and pits full of water, which Topper's unfortunate chauffeur (Eddie Rochester Anderson) discovers a number of time. Can Topper and Gail's ghost discover the truth before the hooded figure strikes again at Ann, or the police (Donald MacBride) interfere...

This really is a romp where the kitchen sink is thrown at the screen, every dark house cliche you could think of is deployed along with plenty of humour and nonsense. Is it a comedy, crime mystery, even a horror? All three to be honest, somehow it all holds together as a highly entertaining film. Topper's wife (Billie Burke) is hilarious in her role and there is a rather superb twist...

Carry on Up the Jungle (1970)

The Carry On team send up Tarzan films superbly.

Professor Tinkle (Frankie Howerd) is in Africa hunting for rare birds (no, the feathered kind!) He is being guided by big game hunter Boosey (Sid James) and accompanied by Lady Bagley (Joan Sims) who is still looking for her long lost son who disappeared in Africa many years ago. Her son is in fact now Ugh (Terry Scott) who has grown up in the jungle, swinging between the trees in vines like Tarzan. Unfortunately unlike Tarzan, Ugh has not learnt how to not crash in anything...

Tinkle's party faces wild animals, cannibal tribes and finally are captured by Amazons who require the men for mating. The King of the tribe, Tonka (Charles Hawtrey) turns out to be Lady Bagley's long lost, and presumed eaten, husband! Meanwhile, Ugh has fallen in love with Lady Bagley's maid June (Jacki Piper)...

It is all a hilarious and crude mess, with many wonderfully dreadful puns and sexual innuendo. Quite what the blacked up Bernard Bresslaw was saying to the "natives" is unknown, and they didn't have any idea either!

Diary of a Madman (1963)

A classic horror performance from Vincent Price.

After a funeral, a group of people assemble to hear the departed last wish, to have his diary read. It reveals a dark tale as Magistrate Cordier (Price) is possessed by a dark force called the Horla which led him to commit terrible crimes. A respectable man, Cordier is possessed after visiting a condemned prisoner. It begins a tragic chain of events as he falls in love with a model Odette (Nancy Kovack), though the fact she is already married to an artist (Chris Warfield) is a complication.

Possessed by the dark force, Cordier kills Odette with the husband ending up condemned for the crime. Cordier knows he must take desperate measures to stop the evil...

A very well constructed horror with a story that builds and builds. It has a number of creepy and supernatural scenes though it is the psychological aspects of the film that are to the fore and really elevate this into something special.

Scared to Death (1980)

Remarkably good sewer monster thrills.

Some kind of deranged super strong maniac is killing random women, not that unusual in LA of course but the police are baffled by this case... no wonder because the assailant isn't human! Ex-cop and now novelist Ted (John Stinson) is finally persuaded by his old buddy (David Moses) to help investigate the case. His girlfriend Jennifer (Diana Davidson) arranges to meet shy nerd girl Sherry (Toni Jannotta) who has vital information on the attacks but before she can meet her at a former research centre she ends up the latest victim (though survives).

Ted is told by Sherry that the attacks are being made by an artificial life form which lives on human spinal fluid. Ted and Sherry head into the sewers to find... and ultimately get chased by the creature...

Although the story is fairly generic (and an early Alien inspired film), this is an entertaining film that rises above the obvious cliches and makes the most of the low budget (the monster itself when we see it is pretty cool). 

The Stranger (1946)

A tight but maybe somewhat melodramatic thriller about the search for a Nazi war criminal hiding in plain sight.

A notorious but secretive Nazi is known to be hiding in the US, but the authorities are stumped because there are no photographs of him (even though he was apparently the mastermind behind the concentration camps). A plan is concocted to release one of his former henchmen Meinike (Konstantine Shayne) who then heads to the US to a small town. Following him is Agent Wilson (Edward G Robinson) but unfortunately he is in capacitated and thus does not know that Meinike has met local teacher Professor Rankin (Orson Welles). Cooly Rankin disposes of Meinike in the woods, and then goes ahead with his marriage to Judge Longstreet's (Philip Merivale) daughter Mary (Loretta Young). Rankin's plan is complete, now he can hide deep in the respected US establishment and await the Fourth Reich...

Or can he? Wilson quickly has his suspicions and begins to investigate Rankin who enters a game of wits with the agent. Mary is told of her husband's real identity but refuses to believe it. Can Rankin be stopped before he flees, and adds to his murder toll?

This is a superb film, which continually builds the tension. It also has great cinematography as you would expect from Welles. The ending on the clock tower is astonishing. Really the only criticism one can make about this film is that the story is a little far fetched.

The Man from Planet X (1951)

The setting and some ambiguity helps elevate this sci-fi invasion film above the pack slightly.

Reporter Lawrence (Robert Clarke) arrives in the remote Highlands of Scotland to visit a professor (Raymond Bond) who is observing a strange new planet that has appeared. The planet is getting closer and will be at it's closest over their remote Scottish village, Lawrence is interested though probably a bit more in the professor's daughter Enid (Margaret Field).

Enid observes a strange vessel nearby, upon investigation they encounter a strange man in a suit, a man from another world. He needs their help but the unscrupulous assistant of the professor, Dr Mears (William Schallert) beats the alien up to try and get his secrets so he can rule the world. This obviously annoys the alien who begins to enslave the villagers so he can facilitate an alien invasion...

So, the plot is fairly unoriginal (and there was no shortage of films like this in the 1950s!) The effects are rather cheap and laughable but the remote Scottish setting and the ambiguity of the alien intentions adds some interest to the film.