Gigolo and Whore 2 (1992)

So the sequel to this then, silly semi-erotic sexploitation HK fare really.

Rosamund Kwan plays a tough rich girl who buys Alex Fong's business and shunts him from his swanky office. To persuade her to sell Alex back the shares he hires the top gigolo in HK Simon Yam to seduce her (obviously).

The uber stud does his job (so well in fact she forgets she is a lesbian) and she sells the shares... but there is one problem : Simon has fallen in love with her for real. That would be fine except Alex is in love with her too. And to make matters worse the gigolo bar's madam (Veronica Yip) is in love with Simon. But its all sorted out in the end of course amid much mess and hilarity. 

The film is not a cinematic classic though has plenty of silly humour and a fair bit of rumpy pumpy, though at times the film a little boring and rather weird. The picture quality didn't help, for some reason the colours were a bit wrong especially in low-lit scenes.

Uptown New York (1932)

The old love triangle. Max (Leon Ames) and Pat (Shirley Grey) are a young couple in love, but Max's parents have other ideas for him and marry him off to a rich woman and send him off to Europe to study. While he is away Pat meets Eddie (Jack Oakie) a boisterous vending machine operator. The manner of their meeting is unusual though as Pat is stuck in a restaurant toilet and Eddie has to get her out through the window!

They begin an edgy relationship but when Max returns to New York things get complicated in Pat's life. Max wants her as his mistress though Pat stays with Eddie despite it not being the smoothest of rides...

Its a charming film and enjoyable with some snappy dialogue especially from Oakie. The first half of the film is probably the best, things do turn a bit melodramatic later on. Its quite a familiar story: the girl turn between two lovers, one rich and one poor. Good performances, especially from Oakie who switches from brash wise guy to sensitive soul, help elevate the film.

Teenage Dreamers (1982)

Elaine Chow and Rowena Cortes are high school students doing what HK schoolgirls always seem to do in movies - throw coke (as in cola) around and shoplift in japanese department stores. Then their school links up with a boy's school to do a joint production of Romeo & Juliet. Elaine gets the part of Juliet to play opposite schoolboy hunk Leslie Cheung's Romeo...

But she can't get the final dramatic scene right... until she falls in love with her Romeo for real. They meet secretly in Macau, they frolic on the beach, he pulls down her top and then we cut to the waves crashing on the shore... Now real lovers their final scene in R&J is a hit. But then he splits up with her before the opening night...

A cute and very vivid early 80s HK teen flick. The colours are fantastic, you even get to see/hear Rowena singing on the beach, which is pretty nice. There are plenty of teen/fun frolics but nothing too cheesy.

By Appointment Only (1933)

A reasonable if ultimately uninteresting film and certainly one that couldn't be made today as it features an older man flirting with a thirteen year old girl!

Dr Travers (Lew Cody) is a suave and cocky doctor who feels guilty after he couldn't save one of his patients who died in his surgery. He makes the young daughter of the deceased woman, Judy (Sally O'Neal) his ward, not that his fiancee (Aileen Pringle) is that impressed...

Judy matures into an attractive young woman by the time she is eighteen (not that the Doctor seemed unattracted to her beforehand, the fact he liked her to call her uncle adds to the slight creepiness). His fiancee by now is really pissed off. Luckily there is a more reasonable suitor who is Judy's own age but we do get a bit of a four sided love triangle.

However all of this sounds far worse in text than it is onscreen, this isn't Lolita by any means. Instead it's a fairly average light hearted romantic drama. It could have been more but it is what it is.

Missed Date (1986)

Olivia Cheng is a bored housewife who is neglected by her husband (Henry Yung). He puts his business (advertising executive natch - though which seems to mostly include flirting with female clients) first and his wife second even though she works hard to be the perfect wife (which happily for male viewers includes lots of yoga and aerobics).

However when she meets a tennis instructor played by Chow Yun Fat she toys with the idea of an affair but decides she cannot as she is loyal to her man...

But then she finds her hubby hopelessly drunk with a female client and follows them to a love hotel. While her man and the client indulge in the beast with two backs in one room Olivia and Mr Chow chat and laugh in another room in quite an amusing parallel. Yet, of course, both couples leave the hotel at the same time and meet up in an awkward moment.

The marriage is over but the hubby hopes to woo her again yet spends his time smoking at his desk wondering what to do. He is too late anyway, his wife has sailed off with Chow...

A pretty good 80s HK film that is accompanied by a couple of killer cantopop tunes by Andy Lau and Priscilla Chan. Cantopop was designed for such dramatic romantic times.

Heart into Hearts (1990)

Heart Into Hearts was the second in the popular "Hearts" series of HK films following on from 1988's "Heart to Heart" and like the first film starred George Lam as some sort of vague creative type (which seems one of the most common jobs in HK according to movies).

George is due to marry Dodo Cheng (who has a daughter played by Vivian Chow) but then he meets an advert director played by Maggie Cheung. Maggie he first hates as an emotionless professional but then they have to go to Paris together and begin to flirt...

It's a light hearted HK comedy with unfortunately two cute kids in it (which is two too many). The film is enjoyable enough with quite a few funny moments but it lacks some bite. You can probably guess most of the jokes before they actually arrive and the film is a little formulaic. It is maybe worth watching for the massive brick mobile phones alone though...

One problem with the film is that Dodo comes across as very annoying in the film without the chemistry with George of the first film. Thus when George is flirting with Maggie you can't really see why he should stay with Dodo. George is his usual jolly and jovial (and often hilarious) self though.

Danger Lights (1930)

An early talkie and one of the earliest films filmed in widescreen though that version no longer survives. It is a story of romance and railroads, lots of railroads.

Dan Thorn (Louis Wolheim) is a tough - to an almost ridiculous stereotypical degree - railroad boss. During the clear-up of an accident he recruits (or rather press gangs) hobo Larry Doyle (Robert Armstrong) into working for him.

Despite his resistance Larry stays on with the company but a complication occurs when he falls in love with Mary (Jean Arthur) who is Dan's fiancee. Naturally Dan isn't too happy about the competition...

Although the story and plot isn't too much to get excited about being a fairly basic love triangle with a bit of railroad peril though isn't bad, the acting and dialogue delivery is sometimes a bit off as is usual for an early talkie but not always. Where this film really flies is the railway footage, quite simply it's brilliant (no bland stock footage here) and some of it very rare.

The Port of Lost Dreams (1934)

Molly (Lola Lane) is a gangster's girlfriend on the run, she stows away on a fishing boat crewed by Lars (William Boyd) and Porky (Edward Gargan). Despite initially wanting to throw her overboard Lars eventually falls in love with Molly and they get married and start a family.

Well what can ruin this new domestic bliss? How about the gangster ex-boyfriend (Harold Huber) getting out of jail, you see Molly never got around to telling Lars about her past...

Although nothing that spectacular this is a nice enough and enjoyable little film with some good lines. The ending might stretch credibility a bit.

Great God Gold (1935)

A tale of dodgy financial dealings during the 1929 Stock Market Crash. Sidney Blackmer plays John Hart, a stockbroker who has an aura of magic around him.

When a newspaper interview with Phil Stuart (Regis Toomey) inadvertently leads to the crash he gets drawn into the receivership business... mostly by his new rather strange habit of making his decisions on the flip of a coin.

When his actions lead to the death of hotel owner George Harper (George Irving) the daughter Marcia (Martha Sleeper) vows to bring down Hart with the help of reporter Phil Stuart. This is a bit of a problem for Hart who has the hots for Marcia (mind you he seems to have the hots for every single woman he meets including his secretary Gloria Shea and the wife of one of his business partners Maria Alba).

Hart starts off seemingly a businessman with a conscience but ends up uncaring about destroying so many lives and becomes greedier and greedier... obviously his corrupt and womanising ways do bring him down in the end though not maybe quite how you'd expect. Although a bit obvious and corny at times this is an enjoyable film with some good performances especially from Blackmer who manages to fit every single human emotion possible into the film. Sleeper also does a very good role, an example of a silent movie actress who could switch to sound films, though unfortunately she did not make many more movies after this.

The Phantom Broadcast (1933)

Arnold Gray is Grant Murdoch, a singer on the radio who has every woman swooning at his feet and arrogance to match his libido. What people don't know is that he isn't really a singer, his accompanist and manager Norman Wilder (Ralph Forbes) is actually the singer but due to being a hunchback lets Murdoch mime and get all the glory.

Not that the star is very grateful, he treats Wilder badly and hangs out with a mobster's moll (Vivienne Osborne) though also treats her like dirt. The mob in fact want to get rid of Wilder and get Murdoch for themselves but Wilder manages to avoid a hail of bullets.

Wilder falls in love with aspiring singer Laura (Gail Patrick). When Murdoch muscles in on her it sends the fractious working relationship into meltdown. Wilder finds Murdoch murdered and thinking Laura did it he takes the blame...

A cheap and sometimes confusing but undeniably enjoyable film with a great deal of crooning. The early days of radio are fascinating with announcers in their dinner jackets. If you like Art Deco then the sets in this film will be a fantasy for you.

The Racketeer (1929)

An early talkie, with the usual problems of the times: dialogue being disjointed and slow, scenes being static. However the film is worth persisting with because of an interesting story: it's a mixture of love triangle and gangster movie.

Robert Armstrong is Keane, a tough NY gangster. He falls in love with Rhoda (Carole Lombard) who seems to be a bit of a sucker for a loser as she left her rich husband for drunk violinist Tony (Roland Drew). Keane helps Rhoda and the bum out, drying him out and getting him a top gig. All he wants is Rhoda's hand in marriage, though she can't deny her love for Tony but will Keane's past finally catch up with him?

So it is fairly unrealistic, in reality Tony would have ended up in concrete wellies. Keane also seems fairly small fry despite being considered the top dog. However the story is quite unusual and the film is better than the sum of it's parts. For some reason the film was banned in the UK on original release though a cut version called Love's Conquest was allowed the following year.

Piccadilly (1929)

Piccadilly is a silent movie classic, set in the stylish world of London night clubs in the late Jazz Age. Wilmot (Jameson Thomas) has a successful restaurant and night club at Piccadilly Circus with a star attraction of dance partners Vic (Cyril Ritchard) and Mable (Gilda Grey).

When Vic quits after disagreements with Wilmot and Mable the club hits trouble, then Wilmot finds in the kitchen the Chinese dishwasher Shosho (Anna May Wong) and falls for her exotic (though quite frankly a bit ridiculous) "oriental" dancing. Shosho becomes the club's new hit dance act but trouble comes when Wilmot falls in love with her, which is a problem for Shosho's lover Jim (King Ho Chang)...

It is stylish nonsense, Wong's "oriental style" dancing is ridiculously stereotyped but her charisma conquers the screen. The film has gorgeous cinematography. A late silent movie, soon talkies would take over but this film really showed what could be done.

Fruit Punch (1992)

There are many things in this world I thought I would never get to see. Like world peace. A cure to all disease. A greener future. Fans of Big Brother not getting totally carried away...

But top of all those must be two clean-cut squeaky clean icons of cantopop such as Leon Lai and Vivian Chow getting steamy with each other. Come on, Elvis being found alive behind the counter at a Bradford chippy is more likely surely? But no! This is the film to see Leon and Vivian snog! Incredible!

So what is this but one of those happy HK idol films. The recipe for which is very familiar: grab a load of current pop idols (and in 1992 this was Leon Lai, Vivian Chow, Hacken Lee and Grasshopper), give them a script about young people trying to find their way in the world and how to find love. And stir.

So five guys (and typical stereotype HK guys you'll only ever find in these kinds of films - carefree and funny and somehow are able to live despite no visible income) go into business together... but fail of course.

Hacken steals the show with his shy guy who stutters all the time, but still lands the cute chick. So there is hope for all of us stutterers everywhere. Leon fools around with Vivian but his carefree attitude leaves their relationship on the edge all the time...

Oh well you know it ends up happily in the end after some minor peril involving one of the main characters. Enjoyable fluff just nothing that hasn't been made many times before.

My Lady of Whims (1925)

Two former soldiers (Bartley Greer and Lee Moran) are hired by a rich father to bring his wayward daughter (Clara Bow) home from the bohemian life in Greenwich Village.

Bartley's intention is to befriend Clara and persuade her to return home though not being the sharpest tool in the box Clara sees through that and knows he is an agent of her father pretty much from the off.

So follows rip-roaring adventures, skin tight outfits and wild parties. Bartley tries various schemes to bring Clara back home though she also has her own plans to stay away forever. The film is sometimes silly though seldom bores and the view of the scandalous Jazz Age is fascinating. Clara looks amazing, the personification of the flapper.

The Toll of the Sea (1922)

The Toll of the Sea was one of the earliest Technicolor films and the first to gain a general release. The story itself isn't that special, being a variation of the Madama Butterfly tale though set in China and covers pretty familiar ground. The film was Anna May Wong's first starring role.

So Chinese girl saves life of half-drowned American (Kenneth Harlan), they fall in love, though he then returns to America without her (heartbreak). Though they obviously did the deed as she has his child. Later on he returns to China, only with an American wife in tow (more heartbreak).

If the story isn't special the film itself looks amazing. It was once thought lost but was restored after being rediscovered in 1985. At times it is more like a painting than a film, the reds and greens of the Chinese costumes and gardens so vivid.

When Thief Meets Thief (1937)

Also known as Jump for Glory this romantic drama stars Douglas Fairbanks Jr as a thief who falls in love with Valerie Hobson (while he is trying to steal her jewels) who ends up breaks off her engagement to Alan Hale.

Douglas wants to go straight and settle down with Valerie but she is forced to return to Alan - who is not really a respectable businessman but really Douglas' ex-partner-in-crime and nemesis from the US...

A light and energetic film, although the three leads are all crooks in different ways actual criminal activities do not feature highly in the film. The film has an interesting take on a love triangle.