Why me? (1983)

This is quite an unusual HK film, especially for it's time. It is rare in because it deals with the issue of mental illness. It is typical of HK cinema however to make a film about the tragic story of a mentally ill man (played by Kent Cheng who won an award for his role) and his dying mother (and boy, this is epic in it's tragedy!) but wrap it up with silly goofy humour and some half-baked romance.

That's not to say this film is bad but there are times when your finger does hover over the STOP button on the remote. You should refrain though because this is a pretty good film... overall though could have been so much better. Olivia Cheng and Chow Yun Fat play 2 social workers who are also a couple. Olivia happens upon the mentally ill man and his poor mother who refuses to accept charity.

Olivia tries to get them better housing and a place at a special school but the queue is wrong. Olivia tries to get the queue jumped but as Chow says, the queue is full of people who are just as deserving. Olivia also has family problems of her own including a dead beat dad and Eric Tsang as a step-father, however it's not one of his best roles. His usual jokey clown act seems rather jarring and forced here. These sub-plots are all rather incidental to the main plot of the film which comes to a rather predictable but powerful all the same climax.

Exterminators of the Year 3000 (1983)

This film is very confusing, the title implies it is set in the year 3000 but somehow 1970s cars are still running - along with advanced bionic children. It is yet another European Mad Max inspired movie set in a post apocalypse wasteland i.e. Italian or Spanish countryside.

The plot is very heavily inspired by Mad Max 2, complete with a tanker chase across the desert. There are gangs of marauders and lots and lots of violence. The film is pretty low budget with little story sense, bizarre dialogue and a singular lack of anything you might consider acting.

However despite all of that it is strangely compelling and remarkably enjoyable perhaps because it is so strange. The action scenes are pretty decent with some very good stunts. There is also plenty of unintentional hilarity especially with some of the dialogue.

It's also the only film i can think of where a robot child is got drunk on beer while someone tries to fix his arm.

The Toolbox Murders (1978)

The Toolbox Murders is at times a rather unpleasant but compelling splatter gore / psychological horror movie, controversial in it's time and banned in the UK for awhile (one of the first so-called "video nasties").

A religious maniac starts killing women who he sees as sinful in an apartment block, using the contents of a toolbox (hammer, screwdriver et cetera) to perform his grisly and extremely bloody kills. The murders take place over a rather enjoyable country music soundtrack - which is probably the best part of this film to be honest.

The film makes little sense, you'd think four murders in the same block would have the police descending like a ton of bricks on the place but no they barely seem to investigate the crimes at all.

After the initial twenty minutes or so of mayhem the film slow down a lot and concentrates on the kidnap of a young girl and there is a lot of rather weird dialogue and psychological exploration of the killer's motives. The abrupt change in direction of the film can be a bit jarring (though not as much as a claw hammer to the head) but it somehow all holds together. Thanks to a nail gun no doubt.

Black Oxen (1924)

Black Oxen is a slightly curious but enjoyable silent movie. A love triangle but with elements of fantasy and science fiction.

The film stars Conway Teale as a NY writer who falls in love with an Austrian countess played by Corinne Griffith. Clara Bow plays the other side of the triangle, in love with the writer but his attention is only on the countess and not the somewhat annoying flapper...

But the countess has a dark secret, she is using specialised treatments and X-rays to retain her youth and is really a much older woman and not in her twenties as she appears.

She gets found out in the end of course. Well apparently, only seven of the film's original eight reels are extant meaning the end of the movie (about twenty minutes) is now missing. Luckily original reviews can tell us what happens! All spoilers arn't bad.

The New Barbarians (1983)

After the apocalypse the few starving survivors of mankind will apparently battle for survival in the desert wastes in battered old cars covered in spikes and weapons. Now it's not Mad Max but a very passable Italian film obviously inspired by it.

The plot is basic to say the least, a band of helmeted maniacs called The Templars seek to wipe out all other survivors on Earth. To stop them: our hero Giancarlo Prete (who is an ex-member of this group) and some friends.

Well the plot (which is a bit of a rip off of Mad Max 2 if we are going to be honest) is fairly irrelevant with a film like this. The most important question is: what is the action like? Well it is good, often very good in fact, despite the obviously tiny budget. The film consists of a number of bloody set pieces with people blown up, decapitated by exploding arrows, burned alive and run over. It is very violent indeed but also has a great deal of camp fun. And has a car with a giant corkscrew.

One thing to note about this horrific vision of the future is that its set in 2019...