Blind Date (1984)

A curious mess of a film. A deranged serial killer is incapacitating young women and practicing surgery on them. Meanwhile cocky advertising executive Jonathan (Joseph Bottoms), when he isn't sleeping with Kirstie Alley, is haunted by a girl called Rachel (Lana Clarkson) whom he once knew but lost contact with after a terrible incident in their past. Jonathan thinks he has found the girl in Athens but then he hits his head on a tree and is blinded.

(Mad) scientist (Keir Dullea) gives him the chance to "see" again using radar sensors hidden in a Walkman which feed into his brain. Although all he can "see" looks like an early 1970s video game, he is able to function again. He crosses paths with the serial killer, who has even disposed of Marina Sirtis, and begins a hunt for him. Can he catch him before the maniac kills Rachel?

Really this is two films, the amateur surgeon serial killer, and the story of how Jonathan loses and regains his sight. Both films are interesting, even pretty good. Unfortunately when they are put together it all becomes a bit of a mess. It is slash gore horror meets Tron, worth seeing mostly for curiosity value.

The Princess and the Pirate (1944)

A very funny Bob Hope romp. The brutal pirate Hook (Victor MacLaglen) aims to kidnap the Princess (Virginia Mayo) who is on the run from the King (Robert Warwick). She is aboard a ship along with Bob Hope and his rather second-rate comedy act as Sylvester. The Princess and Sylvester end up the prisoners of Hook but are freed by the eccentric Featherhead (Walter Brennan) who gives them a map to Hook's treasure.

The Princess and Sylvester are soon the prisoners of La Roche (Walter Slezek) who wants to claim the reward from the King but is also in league with Hook. A chaotic and hilarious sequence at La Roche's mansion ends up with Sylvester impersonating Hook...

A very silly film full of obvious (but genuinely funny) gags and slapstick. Bing Crosby makes an appearance right at the very end.

Marabunta (1998)

Jim (Eric Lutes) arrives in Alaska for a spot of fishing, but his holiday gets off to a bad start when he finds a dead moose which has been eaten down to the bone in hours. Not long afterwards a human similarly consumed. And whats more... no fish!

Luckily Jim is an entomologist and soon discovers that meat eating ants from South America are to blame (obviously). With the help of the Sheriff (Mitch Pileggi) and teacher/future love interest Laura (Julia Campbell), the town is evacuated but no plan goes that smoothly...

Trapped in the town, our heroes are surrounded by ants as the town is overrun by the little things. As flamethrowers, guns and chemicals are not enough to stop the ants wiping out Alaska, Jim has a plan to blow up a dam to drown the ants. Only problem is to get the explosives required means going back into the midst of the ants...

Insect based monster films generally are cheesy and terrible, but Marabunta must rank as one of the worst. Low budget, ropey special effects, average acting and (as this was a TV movie) the action is nicely packaged for the regular advert breaks. It is terrible and somehow brilliant at the same time.

Another Fine Mess (1930)

The first official Stan Laurel & Oliver Hardy film was 1927's Duck Soup, this was a talkie remake of it and is a madcap comedy short packed full of gags and crazy antics. Colonel Buckshot (James Finlayson) is heading off to Africa on Safari, his staff leave the house empty early. It is thus in this condition that Laurel and Hardy, a couple of tramps on the run from the police, find the house.

Lord Plumtree (Charles Gerrard) and his wife (Thelma Todd) arrive to rent the house. Oliver pretends to be Colonel Buckshot and Stan has to pretend to be both the butler and the maid, outfit changed where necessary. Oliver manages to agree a price with Plumtree but their plan all falls through when Colonel Buckshot arrives back home early...

This is a fun comedy short though maybe packed with too much going on at times. The comedy replies more on gags and comedic repetition than slapstick though it does end with some remarkable stunts.

The Net (1953)

A bit melodramatic and uneven but an exciting enough aviation spy drama. Michael (James Donald) is the developer of the top secret research aircraft M7, he devotes so much time he neglects his wife Lydia (Phyllis Calvert) who briefly finds solace in the arms of fellow scientist Alex (Herbert Lom). Meanwhile, there is a spy in the base whom Sam (Robert Beatty) is hunting for...

We know who the spy is though, the doctor Bord (Noel Willman), who plans to steal M7 and Michael along with it. After a near disastrous first flight, he manipulates Michael into taking him with him on an unauthorised second flight and that is when he will strike...

The film isn't sure what it should be. It could be a spy drama, aviation adventure or melodramatic romance and if it had chosen one of those and stuck with it it probably would have been an excellent film. Unfortunately it tries to be all three with varying degrees of success. 

The special effects with M7, which is a classic British 1950s style vision of the future of flight (basically a Victor bomber with nuclear engines), are pretty good. The tension, when it is there, is good. The padding kind of ruins things a bit, but overall a decent watch.