Monstrosity (1963)

An utterly awful and rather repellant film. A rich and bitter old woman, Mrs March (Marjorie Eaton) is funding the deranged medical experiments of Dr Frank (Frank Gerstile), who is transplanting brains using atomic energy (back in the 50s and 60s atomic radiation was seemingly capable of everything). March wants her brain transplanted into the body of a young woman. She has three maids imported and chooses Bea (Judy Bamber) for her new body even though she has the worst British accent ever.

Things do not run smoothly though, one of Dr Frank's earlier experiments where he put a dog's brain in a man's body menaces the grounds. Dr Frank puts a cat's brain in one of the other maid's Maria (Lisa Lang) body, Cat Maria proceeds to attack and mutilate Bea. The last maid, Nina (Erika Peters), is the new chosen one. When the transfer operation takes place there is a rather surprising twist...

A terrible film, shoddy and awkward and shamelessly exploitative. The best acting on show is probably by Maria when she becomes a cat. Worth experiencing once for the sheer inanity. A very aptly named film.

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Aha another video game movie... which has little relation to the actual game. Evolved dinosaurs led by the maniacal King Koopa (Dennis Hopper) exist in a parallel dimension. Koopa wants to merge the dimension with our own so he can conquer our world with his (to be honest pretty cool) dinosaur tech. However, Daisy (Samantha Mathis) holds the key in the form of a crystal. Can Koopa get his hands on Daisy and the crystal. Bumbling plumbing brothers Mario (Bob Hoskins) and Luigi (John Leguizamo) are there to stop him... eventually.

A silly film though the world building is pretty well done, a world of trolley wire powered police cars, rocket boots and guns that can de-evolve creatures. 

It is terrible, though has it's moments and can entertain. The film has plenty of comedy packed into it though much of the comedy does backfire. The film goes on a little too long and the plot meanders too much. The characters ham it up like a pantomine, though it makes less sense.

Terror (1978)

A baffling but highly enjoyable low-budget horror romp. Many years ago a witch is burned and curses the Lord Garrick who ordered her death, with some immediate effects... 

However, this is just a horror film made by director James Garrick (James Nolan) about his ancestors and he has held a private showing to the cast and crew including his cousin Ann (Carolyn Courage).

Things soon going strange, Ann is hypnotised and tries to kill James with a sword! After she runs off, her friend Carol (Gynis Barber) heads off looking for her and is menaced by an unseen threat and then stabbed to death. Ann returns to her shared home with other girls, more deaths follow her including a pervert punter at the club she works at, he winds up impaled on railings! Deaths also start to mount up at James' studio. Really does seem being around the Garrick family is rather unhealthy...

A great horror film, the story is a bit light and is mostly a framework upon which a number of horror scenes are hung. The horror is full of suspense, violent, gruesome and frequently erotic. It is full of weirdness too, its trashy for sure and brilliant.

An Old Man's Love Story (1913)

An unusual love story. Ethel (Norma Talmadge) is in love with Cyril (Frank O'Neil), who has prospects though as yet not much else. Unfortunately for Ethel, her parents are poor despite all appearances and want to marry her off to a rich man. When their friend and retired businessman James (Van Dyke Brooke) turns up they want Ethel to marry him and send Cyril off...

When James discovers who Ethel's feelings are truly for he comes up with an ingenious (though somewhat implausible) plan for Ethel to marry money and Cyril...

A short film that packs a lot of story in though. The film has fairly natural acting though technically is still rather static. The film looks like it will go off in one direction though will surprise you with it's enjoyable twist. 

Inseminoid (1981)

An amazing science-fiction horror. On a remote planet an archaeological team investigates the remains of a long-dead alien civilisation. Mysterious things start happening, maybe the civilisation isn't quite dead after all, especially when the deaths begin. Sandy (Judy Geeson) is also attacked but survives her attack... but is now pregnant with alien spawn after it appears like she was penetrated by a green alien phallus...

Sandy, now under the control of the aliens, begins a violent series of attacks against the other crew including Mark (Robin Clark) and Kate (Stephanie Beacham). Can the crew stop Sandy, who is also now blessed with superhuman strength as well as homicidal aggression and a taste for human flesh?

Low budget maybe, and at times the acting is as creaky as the scenery, but this is a thrilling film full of gore and alien horror. The idea of the film isn't that original but this has a few interesting twists.

The Ape (1940)

Slightly sinister but mostly ridiculous monkey business. The idea of this film (mad scientist dresses as ape to kill men to enable his forbidden human experiments) sounds terrific though in reality it is all a little too cosy to truly work.

Dr Adrian (Boris Karloff) is an unpopular MD in a small town who is well-meaning but obsessed with helping Francis (Maris Wrixon) who is crippled after polio. The doctor devises a possible cure using spinal fluid but he runs out of fluid. Meanwhile, an ape has escaped from the circus. The ape attacks the doctor but he manages to kill it.

Doctor Adrian begins to use the skin of the ape to kill bad men and drain their spinal fluid so he can continue his treatments. Another Doctor (Selmer Jackson) becomes suspicious of Adrian and his methods...

This is a strange film, the ape is so obviously a man in an unconvincing suit (in fact it was Ray "Crash" Corrigan) and there is little actual menace because of that. A fun enough film all the same.

Morocco (1930)

This early talkie is notable for being Marlene Dietrich's Hollywood debut, though the film itself is a bit slow and light on plot though certainly worth watching. We are in Colonial Morocco during the Rif War, in Mogador the French Foreign Legion has returned from the fight, in their ranks is Private Brown (Gary Cooper). Also just arriving in Mogador is the nightclub singer Amy (Dietrich) who takes a singing job in a club.

Brown and Amy spark a friendship though he rejects the chance to have a relationship with her. However, Brown's past womanising and the fact rich La Bessiere (Adolph Menjou) is pursuing Amy makes their love rather difficult... especially when Brown has to return to the war.

Visually the film looks great, especially Dietrich's iconic nightclub performances in her top hat and tails, though is light on dialogue and a bit cliched. A film to savour for what it is but a film that is quite flawed.