The Galaxy Invader (1985)

Quite possibly the worst film ever made, an awful tale of rednecks versus an alien.

David (Greg Dohler) spots a UFO land in the woods, nearby terrible drunk Joe (Richard Ruxton) is out hunting his daughter with a rifle (something you imagine is a regular occurrence). He spots a green man carrying advanced technology and reacts as any real American would... he shoots it!

What follows is a horrendously dreary and garbled series of events in the woods as the alien is captured after a shootout, escapes, then is shot again. At the end though the true threat to life on Earth isn't the green man with his ridiculous laser gun but Joe in his torn t-shirt and massive capacity for alcohol and shooting... well anything.

Every redneck stereotype under the sun is employed in this ridiculous film. Somehow it is brilliant and hilarious, but quite how is a mystery beyond the ability of any advanced alien science to explain.

How Men Propose (1913)

An interesting short feature. Three men propose to the same woman (Margarita Fischer) - without realising. When they finally realise it they go to see the woman and discover that she was just researching for an article she was writing on how men propose for a magazine!

There isn't much to the film though it has some historic and curiosity value. 

Grizzly (1976)

What do bears do in the woods? We know they do that, but they also leave a trail of dead bodies behind them in this film...

Kelly (Christopher George) is a park ranger who has to handle the hunt for a killer grizzly bear as well as the usual stereotypes in this kind of film, Kittridge (Joe Dorsey) the reckless park administrator and Allison (Joan McCall) the female interest - but then who disappears in the last act of the film. 

Kelly is helped by a Vietnam vet helicopter pilot (Andrew Pine) and a naturalist (Richard Jaeckel) who both end up victims of the giant bear. Kelly, though, has a rocket launcher...

It is an enjoyable, if fairly unoriginal romp in the woods. The hunt for the bear is rather aimless and repetitive, to be honest even the bear seems to end up getting bored as he ends up finding them in the end. The gore is high though often ridiculous. Fun if you can bear it. Jaws in the woods.

The Screaming Skull (1958)

The makers of this film promised to pay for the funeral of anyone who died while watching it, but they probably didn't have to pay much out as it's a rather unscary horror...

Eric (John Hudson) and Jenni (Peggy Webber) are newlyweds, they move into the home Eric used to share with his first wife - who died in mysterious circumstances. Jenni starts hearing strange noises begins to see a skull. Eric tells her it isn't real, and we discover that Jenni had had some mental illness in the past. Eventually it seems it is the ghost of Eric's first wife and she is out for revenge...

Although not very scary really, this is a fun film due to all of the cheese including some very ropey looking special effects. 

Oblivion (1994)

Quite what is going on here i don't know. The film is set on an alien planet in the future but everyone dresses and acts like they are in an old Western. 

A cruel outlaw (a reptilian of course) called Redeye (Andrew Divoff) guns down the Marshal (Mark Genovese) of the town of Oblivion and takes over with his gang, which includes Lash (Muscetta Vander) who likes to wear bondage gear and whip people. The Marshal's son Zach (Richard Joesph Paul) lives out of town, unwilling to get involved in any gunplay because he feels the pain of his victims (something which seems rather variable if we are to be honest). He saves the life of cod-philosopher Buteo (Jimmie Skaggs) from a giant scorpion and finally gets involved in the fight and faces Redeye and his crew.

The film doesn't make a lot of sense and is packed full of strange cameos and random events and characters including Gaunt (Carel Struycken), a strange Death character who naturally is the undertaker. One of the cameos is George Takai, who plays the town's drunk doctor. He throws dreadful Star Trek related puns into his dialogue at random. We also have Isaac Hayes as a bar owner. He just seems to be there, because why not?

By no means is this a good film but it's awfulness is truly compelling. A film that needs to be experienced.

The Perils of Mandy (1980)

A (very) cheap bit of soft-core British sex comedy trash. The perils of Mandy (Gloria Brittain) include being beaten by a pervy old school master, sex in a haystack and being tied to some railway tracks. I suppose it can vaguely bring to mind the film serials of the 1910s such as the Perils of Pauline, though in a rather more racey manner! 

Expect plenty of stockings and spenders, don't expect much in the way of coherence or plot or acting for that matter. Unfortunately we are to be forever left hanging with the cliffhanger as to whether Mandy survives her final peril or not as no "Part 2" was ever made.

The Shape of Things to Come (1979)

Star Wars spawned many space opera imitators which ripped off George Lucas' film to various degrees, this film tries to rip off a number of other films too. One thing it doesn't rip off is H.G. Wells' story, it has pretty much nothing to do with it despite his name in the titles. The excellent Things to Come already exists of course.

We are in the future, Earth is inhabitable following a robot war and mankind lives on the Moon and elsewhere in space. The Moon, however comes under attack by a suicide freighter sent by Omus (Jack Palance) from Delta 3, which is also where the drugs which mankind needs to survive come from. Dr Caball (Barry Morse), his son Jason (Nicholas Campbell), Kim (Anne-Marie Martin) and the exploding robot Sparks (Greg Swanson/Mike Parr) set off to stop Omus...

Meanwhile, on Delta 3 Omus and his army of ridiculous looking robots are evilly hunting down the last survivors of President Niki (Carol Lydney) and her supporters. Omus has a devilish machine that can melt minds too, quite why is not quite clear...

This isn't a terribly great film, the space effects are passable (on the whole) though the sets and costumes betray a lack of budget. The story is rather slow and meandering, including a detour to Earth which doesn't really go anywhere plot wise. It has the required camp value for a late 1970s space opera but lacks much of a spark, despite Sparks' efforts. Palance is superbly over the top as the evil Omus.