The Beast of Borneo (1934)

A rather mediocre jungle and animal exploitation film. The film is slow and stilted and it's never a good sign when some of the animals can act better than the humans...

Dr Borodoff (Eugene Siglaoff) has some strange theories about human evolution from apes and needs a live orangutan to complete his experiments. As animal hunter Bob Ward (John Preston) has failed to provide a specimen so far from the jungles of Borneo Dr Borodoff - who is billed as an Anglo-Russian scientist though sounds like he is from Brooklyn - heads to Borneo with his beautiful assistant Alma (Mae Thorne). There they persuade Bob Ward, who is hesitant to provide animals for vivisection though is ok to put them in zoos, to take them into the jungle to find the orangutan Borodoff needs...

Despite being set in the jungle, and thus potentially full of life, the film is oddly lifeless. It proceeds at a glacial pace. The acting is frequently odd too, though in Mae Thorne's case it looks like she knew the film was complete nonsense and was doing it for a laugh.

By the Sun's Rays (1914)

A run-of-the-mill but decent enough Western silent short. Frank Lawler (Lon Chaney) is a definite bad guy. As the clerk for a mining company he knows when the gold shipments go out and tells a gang of bandits so they can steal it. Frank is also after the mine owner's daughter Dora (Agnes Vernon)...

The mine boss (Seymour Hastings) is however suspicious there is an inside man and hires detective John Murdock (Murdock MacQuarrie) to infiltrate the gang and find out. Of course Murdock saves the day, and the girl.

The plot is fairly simple but works fine in a film that's just about ten minutes long, let's face it some much longer films have even more simple plots.

The Drums of Jeopardy (1931)

A somewhat creaky early talkie though worth seeing for Warner Oland in a pre-Charlie Chan role, here he plays a mad Russian scientist bent on revenge.

He wants revenge on the Russian Petrov princes (Lloyd Hughes and Wallace Macdonald) who he thinks caused the death of his daughter. After the Revolution the Petrovs are in exile in America and the mad scientist is now released from the gulag and has the help of the Bolsheviks...

He possesses jewels of the Petrovs called the Drums of Jeopardy, he promises to return the jewels to the family one by one as he disposes of them.

The jewels are cursed (naturally), it's said that if one of the drums is separated from the others whoever receives it dies within twenty-four hours...

There follows some murky goings on, some bumpings off and other evil schemes. The action isn't that great though certainly atmospheric and the acting (especially by Oland) a bit over the top but it is a fascinating film. Oland's character was Dr Boris Karlov, it's said that Boris Karloff got the idea for his screen name after reading the original novel.

Radar Men from the Moon (1952) (Serial)

Commando Cody (George Wallace) wears a rocket suit and also flies a rocket ship. In this exciting serial he is sent to the moon where the evil Retik (Roy Barcroft) plans to conquer Earth using his advanced atomic weapons. Although as usual with these kind of things, for all that high-tech advancement nothing can defeat good old American fisticuffs (as Captain Kirk proved later on, only his fists could save the universe).

As this is a serial (of twelve parts) of course it is fast moving and basically a series of action set pieces with cliffhangers. Can Cody escape being blown up or melted by lava? Find out next week!

Radar Men from the Moon reused a lot of footage from earlier serials. The rocket suit scenes for example were reused from King of the Rocketmen. Visually though this serial is a treat, spaceships with fins, laboratories fill of sparking equipment and mysterious dials. Most of the action is a series of somewhat lower-tech punch-ups though.

The Murder in the Museum (1934)

A "museum" - more correctly a rather flimsy freakshow of knife throwers, mind readers, a conjuror (Henry B. Walthall) and belly dancers - is under investigation from the city council. Much to the show manager's consternation as his show is a front for drug running...

When councilman Newgate (Sam Flint) is shot dead suspicion falls on a man with no arms but can fire guns with his feet (really!) But then Police Commissioner Brandon (Joseph Girard), a political rival of the victim, is suspected of the crime...

Brandon's niece Lois (Phyllis Barrington) teams up with plucky reporter Jerry Ross (John Harron) to find the real killer. Take away the freak show element then the film is a pretty basic murder mystery with Golden Age touches but it is pretty well done and the "museum" is hilarious. Especially when it re-opens after the murder with a big banner advertising that punters can see where Newgate was shot!

Troll 2 (1990)

Troll 2 is often listed among the worst films of all time, so is it? Troll 2 is a basic horror film involving murderous little goblins (not trolls - there are no actual trolls in the movie despite the title) terrorising a family in the middle of nowhere....

So the set-up seems fine for a basic horror flick, but what makes Troll 2 stand out is just how badly it was all executed. The plot, dialogue, acting and camerawork are all terrible... but happily it is so terrible as to be actually very entertaining.

Some examples of the (real) terror include a fly very visibly landing on an actor's forehead and the director not bothering to redo the shot. One of the main actors was a dentist (George Hardy) who turned up at filming for a laugh and ended up being made the lead. The goblins are defeated by eating a ham sandwich... Then there is Grandpa Seth (Robert Ormsby) who surely is one of the weirdest movie characters ever.

So it's utterly terrible, but so compelling. So it is one of the best worst movies of all time. Did I mention there is a scene where the boy starts urinating on the family's dinner?

Paradise Express (1937)

A small railroad run by grouchy Jed Carson (Harry Davenport) is facing bankruptcy due to the underhand tactics of a trucking company. Receiver Larry Doyle (Grant Withers) has been bought in not knowing it is the work of the crooked trucking boss (Donald Kirke) and part of his plan to get rid of the railroad and gain a freight monopoly.

Doyle, after a slightly fractious start with Jed and his granddaughter Kay (Dorothy Appleby), gets to work trying to save the railroad company despite the odds against him...

A neat little morality play of the type common at the time (when big business when hitting the real guy for real in 1930s America). The clerk Trotter (Arthur Hoyt) provides some comic relief.