Phantom Patrol (1936)

A suave crime-boss Dapper Dan Geary (Harry Worth) on the run from the police heads up to Canada where he discovers a famous crime writer is already up there who bears an uncanny resemblance...

Dapper Dan thus pretends to be the crime writer (who for some unfathomable reason they don't bump off) and manages to fool the local Mountie Jim (Kermit Maynard) and his girl Doris (Joan Barclay) who even ends up doing short-hand for the "writer".

Things get ever more complicated when a gang of local hoodlums also hide out with Dapper Dan. Despite a series of ridiculous coincidences Mountie Jim is rather slow to get suspicious about Dapper Dan...

Not a bad film which doesn't hang around though the plot stretches credibility a bit far at times. Mountie Jim is a clean-cut hero and the film doesn't lack for action. Harry Worth does well playing two roles.

Prince of Portland Street (1993)

Maybe only in HK cinema could you have a film starring two lovable cheeky chaps (Simon Yam and Dicky Cheung) playing woman beating and cheating pimps. But if you ever wanted to see a film about two lovable pimps then here is their story. It is actually well worth seeing.

Simon is the "Prince Of Portland Street" - a kind of uber-pimp, i guessing it's not an official position in the HK government.

All proceeds pretty smoothly (unless you are female) until he tangles with a rather nasty rival Triad boss and gets hit on the head with a gas bottle. Simon now acts like a child (which sounds very similar to God of Gamblers of course) and follows Dicky instead. However Dicky, although he tries hard to play the part, can't pull off the Prince role as well.

The Triad bad boy comes into the fray again though but once Simon hits his head again his "magical powers" are restored. Can't think where they got that idea from either...

In typical HK fashion this is a very violent film but with good humour, and questionable morals. The main theme behind this film is can two men escape their past? This film proves it is difficult. The HK in these two films is a neon-lit sleezy and violent world. Men drink, fight and enjoy women, then fight and enjoy some more women. Crime doesn't pay but you can have a good time finding out. Apparently.

Bulldog Edition (1936)

Bulldog Edition is a frequently ridiculous but fun 1930s newspaper / crime romp. Two rival newspapers are engaged in a bitter circulation war and a notorious gangster Nick Enright (Cy Kendall) is mixed up in it.

As one newspaper (the Daily News) is after him and trying to expose his crimes thanks to top newspaper men Ken (Ray Walker) and Jim (Regis Toomey) and cartoonist Randy (Evalyn Knapp) Enright muscles in to help the rival paper. Unfortunately the editor soon finds that a gangster's help comes with strings attached...

A fast moving film, sometimes a little too fast to be honest, but with lots of sharp dialogue. There are also a number of strange scenes which take the film off at odd tangents such as the radio game show which quickly erupts into a mass brawl! The rest of the plot is nonsense but great fun.

The New York Hat (1912)

A sweet if insubstantial little film. Mary Pickford plays the daughter of a stern father (Charles Hill Mailes) and dying mother (Kate Bruce). The mother writes to a pastor (Lionel Barrymore) and asks him to finally get her a treat which she had always been denied by her father. He buys her a fancy hat!

Unfortunately the village begins to gossip, not knowing of the letter, and Mary's father destroys the hat in a rage...

Well it's all very straight forward but nicely produced. Mary Pickford portrays her role perfectly.

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983)

Three women have crash landed on a plagued planet inhabited by a lot of people wearing rags, Wolff (Peter Strauss) - a kind of bounty hunter - is lured by the prospect of a big reward to rescue them. Once there he finds the rescue not as simple as he hoped especially when he hooks up with troublesome local girl Nikki (Molly Ringwald).

Wolff and Niki travel across various cyberpunk set masterpieces also linking up with an ex-colleague of Wolff, Washington (Ernie Hudson). Eventually they arrive at the forbidding HQ of Overdog (Michael Ironside) who drains essence from young woman and also hurls slaves into the Maze, a kind of deadly Total Wipeout with lots of sharp edges...

The film does genuinely look amazing though often unoriginal, at times it looks like a big budget remake of a low-budget Italian remake of Mad Max. Or maybe an overlong early 1980s pop video. The action is lacking at times though promises so much. It was released as a 3-D film so that explains a lot of the action involves things falling towards the camera, they maybe got a little carried away with that. The plot is basically one set piece of mild peril followed by another but amusing enough and there are some good lines especially from Overdog. The film is worth it alone though for the technology of the forbidden world especially the sail powered train!

Religious Racketeers (1938)

The Great LaGagge (Robert Fiske) is a fake fakir who helps troubled rich women with their troubles using the "psychic plane" and relieving them of the burden of having any money. The police are already after him though after an elderly victim dies of shock at his temple during a seance, the press in the form of reporter Elliot (Arthur Gardner) are also on LaGagge's trail.

One complication is that Martha (Helene LeBerthon), a rich but troubled young woman whom Arthur has the hots for, is drawn into LaGagge's net and targeted as his next victim...

Frequently ridiculous, especially the scenes in the temple with the "mystic" powers facilitated by some behind the scenes trickery, but hilarious (unintentionally). Things really go crazy when LaGagge whisks Martha off to Egypt (you'll know it as the Sphinx is in the background!) and then India. Martha and her friend Ava (Betty Compson) are somewhat suspicious though as the great mystic in the desert looks like LaGagge with a fake beard... and funnily enough...

Look out for the real Mrs Houdini who appears in a short cameo.

Missed Date (1986)

Olivia Cheng is a bored housewife who is neglected by her husband (Henry Yung). He puts his business (advertising executive natch - though which seems to mostly include flirting with female clients) first and his wife second even though she works hard to be the perfect wife (which happily for male viewers includes lots of yoga and aerobics).

However when she meets a tennis instructor played by Chow Yun Fat she toys with the idea of an affair but decides she cannot as she is loyal to her man...

But then she finds her hubby hopelessly drunk with a female client and follows them to a love hotel. While her man and the client indulge in the beast with two backs in one room Olivia and Mr Chow chat and laugh in another room in quite an amusing parallel. Yet, of course, both couples leave the hotel at the same time and meet up in an awkward moment.

The marriage is over but the hubby hopes to woo her again yet spends his time smoking at his desk wondering what to do. He is too late anyway, his wife has sailed off with Chow...

A pretty good 80s HK film that is accompanied by a couple of killer cantopop tunes by Andy Lau and Priscilla Chan. Cantopop was designed for such dramatic romantic times.