Shake Hands with Danger (1980)

A safety film detailing the various grisly ways heavy machinery can mangle human flesh if you are not careful and the guys in this film certainly arn't. One of the guys is shown changing the wheel on a large excavator and ends up demolishing a house! 

What makes the film unintentionally hilarious is the gritty country & western soundtrack. As the song says, being distracted or hungover might cause you to fall from a JCV or have your hand cut to pieces in a grinder. So lay off the Jack Daniels and pay attention!

 

Pterodactyl Woman from Beverly Hills (1997)

A very strange and often funny film (for both the wrong and right reasons). Dick (Brad Wilson) is a palaeontologist who accidentally disturbs a sacred site in the desert, a shaman called Salvador Dali (Brion James) puts a curse on him, his wife is now a pterodactyl! Back home in Beverley Hills Dick's wife Pixie (Beverley D'Angelo) does indeed begin to feel strange. During the day she exhibits strange behaviour such as eating a live fish whole in a supermarket. At night she transforms and spreads her (actual) wings...

Her family, including her children (Aron Eisenberg and Sharon Martin), struggle to come to terms with this change in Mum. Dick finds it kind of works in the bed department though. However, they end up with a new addition to the family and decide it is time to find the shaman and get the curse lifted...

A light film, charming despite the strangeness and absurdity. The film is a bit disjointed but great fun, picked with odd characters. Barry Humphries makes a great cameo playing three different characters in one scene, including Dame Edna! The film isn't great but it is certainly different and enjoyable.

Bulldog Drummond Comes Back (1937)

Another in the long running Bulldog Drummond series, the hero this time played by John Howard for the first time. Drummond's fiance Phyllis (Louise Campbell) is kidnapped by the crooked duo of Valdin (J. Carrol Naish) and Soldanis (Helen Freeman) who seek revenge on Drummond. They set him a number of cryptic clues, getting him to charge about the countryside. Finally he is led into a trap where they plan to blow him up!

Drummond is assisted by Algy (Reginald Denny) and Tenny (E.E. Clive) of course. The Colonel (John Barrymore) also assists secretly by donning a number of disguises. The film is all rather breakneck as Drummond is sent from place by place by the clues, like a movie serial condensed into a single feature at times. Drummond is taken to a couple of places more than once which can make the film drag a bit but no doubt assisted with the budget.

The plot is simple and a bit silly, the evil plans of the criminals are so elaborate and long winded they resemble Bond villain schemes! The film is good camp fun but not much more.

The Coveted Coat (1924)

A charming little film by Gaston Quiribet which uses stop motion for a variety of special effects, part of his Q-Riosities series. Two tramps fight over a fine coat on a scarecrow. One of them warns the other that he took the coat yesterday but it is bewitched by dark magic! Whatever the wearer wishes happens to him. The tramp explains that that got him into loads of trouble including a car accident and receiving a beating from a jealous lover. Is he being completely truthful though?

The film is mostly a showcase for a number of cinematic tricks, rather than having much of a narrative, and very clever the tricks are too. The film is an interesting curiousity.

Devil's Express (1976)

This is a car crash of a film, in so much as it is like a mixture of different genres thrown together, hard. The film starts in ancient China where a demon is imprisoned. We jump to the present day (well 1970s anyway) New York and see Luke (Warhawk Tanzania) show off his martial arts skills with a funk soundtrack. Luke heads to HK with his friend Rodan (Wilfredo Roldan), while there Rodan accidentally releases the demon from it's cell...

The demon makes it's way to NY and begins to terrorise the subway, but above ground a deadly war between black and Chinese gangs rages. Luke gets involved with both gangs, and only he can stop the demon...

So, it is a mix of blaxploitation, kung fu, horror and total weirdness. The film switches between these genres quickly, at times you wonder if you have just sat on the TV remote. 

One of the strangest films you'll ever see, and very gory and violent too. Does it make sense? To be honest not in any way whatsoever. But it doesn't matter, this film is genuinely original and amazing.

Ice Cream Man (1995)

An incredibly bizarre horror film. A new ice cream van arrives in town, the seller being the rather overtly strange Gregory (Clint Howard). Not long after he arrives then people start to go missing. These people, or rather their bodyparts, end up in Gregory's ice cream. The adults in town don't seem to care though but a bunch of kids who call themselves the Rocketeers (and include a kid called Tuna (JoJo Adams) who wears an obvious fat suit for some reason) know Gregory is up to no good...

A couple of detectives (Jan-Michael Vincent and Lee Majors II) are investigating the disappearances and get a hot tip (from the kids) that Gregory is behind it. They search Gregory's ice cream parlour but for some reason do not look in his ice cream van. That isn't the only rather baffling bit of "police" work they do. They go to the asylum, which Gregory was once at, and find freakish scenes of torture and horror, even having to shoot their way out. And then it seems to be all forgotten!

Trashy films like this often make little sense, this makes even less than most. The horror is rather over the top gruesome (including an ice ball inside an ice cream) and the body count is pretty high. There are also a number of intriguing cameos including David Warner as a vicar! The film is a mess, as much a mess as the cops leave Gregory's ice cream parlour in, but it is rather compelling.

The Hand of Night (1968)

An engaging tale of Arabic vampires. Paul (William Sylvester), broken after the deaths of his wife and children in an accident, travels to Morocco. There he meets archaeologist Gunther (Edward Underdown) who is about to open the tomb of a priestess. Paul has already seen Gunther in a nightmare though along with various other strange things...

Then Paul ends up in a mysterious palace where he meets Marissa (Aliza Gur), funnily enough that is the name of the priestess in the tomb. Despite dancing girls and much exotica at night when Paul returns to the palace in the daytime he finds it is just a ruin. With the help of Gunther's assistant Chantel (Diane Clare), Paul seeks to find out what is going on. Why is he being haunted by Marissa? He cheated death, or did he?

An enjoyable horror romp, full of exotic mystery and no little camp.