The Tong Man (1919)

A rather dated view of Chinatown, containing a fair bit of action though certainly full of dated stereotypes. Louie Toy (Tojo Fujita) is a merchant (and drug smuggler) who refuses to pay the Tongs protection money. The Tong task their top assassin Luk Chen (Sessue Hakayama) with assassinating Toy. One complication however, is that Chen is in love with Toy's daughter Sen Chee (Helen Jerome Eddy)... 

Another complication is that Toy has given safe harbour to a murderous sailor on the run from the police (Yukata Abe), and he is obviously keen to have Toy's back. Yet another complication is the San Francisco Police sniffing around...

So, a world of opium dens, gambling debts, pigtails and endless intrigue and murder. The fact the Tong seem to get their orders from the statue of a dragon is genuinely hilarious. The film is a bit contrived but the film is well made, the story is nonsense though!

Time Chasers (1994)

A ridiculously low-budget time travel film. Nick (Matthew Bruch) has developed a time machine, which for some reason only works in a light aircraft fitted with a Commodore computer. Nick interests CEO J.K. (George Woodard) in investing in his machine. 

Unfortunately when Nick heads to the future with his lady friend Lisa (Bonnie Prichard) they find the future has changed and now has become a rather low-rent dystrophia.

Nick discovers that J.K. has misused the time machine and changed history for the worst. Nick and Lisa try and change history themselves by stopping J.K. which involves them heading back to the U.S. Revolutionary War but also crashing a car...

An enjoyable if ridiculous film which seems to have the budget of about $5. The film eschews any complications with time travel to keep things straight forward and reasonably exciting. The best thing about the film is that Nick and Lisa are so ordinary and yet have such amazing adventures.

Bruce Lee's Ways of Kung Fu (1979)

The title implies this is a Bruceploitation film though in reality this is standard Kung Fu fare which just uses Bruce Lee's name. The film takes place in the base of a Manchurian warlord (Ki-Ju Kim) and his eighteen female bodyguards. Many try to challenge the warlord but none get out alive, until Dragon Lee.

Dragon is seeking to avenge his father who was killed by the warlord, and does get badly beaten up but manages to escape and receives training from his new master (Choe Mu-Ling). His master is killed too by the evil warlord's forces but finally Dragon is ready to enter the base along with his friends Philip Cheung and Pearl Lin, defeat the eighteen female warriors and take on the warlord in a final showdown...

And it is all pretty terrible if we are to be honest. The film makes very little sense and sometimes feels like scenes from different films spliced together with various tangents and dubious comedy scenes. The fighting is not bad, frequently very over the top with the usual weird sound effects and lots of use of wires. Quite an experience for sure, from a cheese point of view it is highly entertaining.

The Perils of Pauline (Serial) (1914)

This is one of the earliest movie serials, although was more a series of standalone adventures with an overall theme rather than the multi-part adventures of later serials. Pauline's (Pearl White) uncle and guardian Sanford Marvin (Edward Jose) died and left Pauline a fortune. However, the money is in the care of Marvin's unscrupulous secretary Koerner (Paul Panzer) until Pauline marries. Koerner wants to keep the money for himself, he takes advantage of Pauline's zest for adventures by coming up with various schemes to get rid of her.

One example of this is she is tricked into getting into a balloon which is then set free and out of control. Others involve escaped lions, Indian tribes, bombs and various traps and kidnaps. Pauline escapes death often with the help of her beau Harry (Crane Wilbur) but not suspecting Koerner, he is free to try again next time!

Pearl White became the original serial queen, starring in a number of highly popular serials. She was notable for doing many of her own stunts, some of which did cause her life changing injuries. In many ways the serial is a bit obvious and nonsense but it had a huge influence on future serials and pop culture.

Hoop-La (1933)

Clara Bow's final film, although not a huge hit at least she went out still at the top of the bill. Chris (Richard Cromwell) runs away to join the circus, but its OK as his Dad Nifty (Preston Foster) works there as the manager. Hawaiian dancer Carrie (Minna Gombell) has her hooks into Nifty but she is resentful that Chris is ahead of her in Nifty's affections. She decides to get her fellow dancer Lou (Bow) to seduce Chris to sour the relationship between father and son and hopefully get the son sent packing...

But Lou falls in love with Chris for real. They end up getting married and an enraged Nifty kicks them both out of the circus. The couple head to Chicago where they fall on hard times. Can their fortunes be turned around and will Nifty forgive them?

An enjoyable film though fairly average overall, the cast make the most of a fairly thin script though the circus and carnival life is always an interesting watch. Clara Bow successfully made the switch to talkies, it is just such a shame she could not have continued her career due to personal problems. 

Lords of the Deep (1989)

A car crash of a movie, though as it takes place underwater maybe it should be called a sub crash? In an underwater base, Claire (Priscilla Barnes) is studying a mysterious goo... and getting an LSD trip by touching it. Then stranger things start happening such as a colleague returning to the base from a dive replaced by the same goo. A series of earthquakes rock the base. Claire also falls for O'Neill (Daryl Haney) with a really terrible 'tache. 

The always glaring base commander Dobler (Bradford Dillman) is hiding something from his team, and also killing them off with the help of his computer and control over the oxygen supply. Claire discovers the goo is a fast mutating life form. Dobler calls it a threat but Claire knows the real threat is elsewhere...

This is a terrible load of tosh. It has cheap sets, cheaper special effects, baffling plot and indifferent to terrible acting. Unintentionally hilarious and tremendous fun of course.

Planet Outlaws (1953)

If this seems similar to the 1939 serial Buck Rogers it is because it is a condensed version! Buck Rogers (Buster Crabbe) is a 20th century pilot who, along with Buddy (Jackie Moran), is put into suspended animation after an airship crash. When he is awaken in the future he finds the world to be much more advanced, and much more dangerous. He helps the good guys out against the evil plans of Killer Kane (Anthony Warde)...

Naturally as the nearly four hour original serial was edited down to a single film that's just over an hour long it is all rather breakneck. In fact it is maybe a little too frenetic as we move from action scene to action scene with hardly any time to breathe. The action is great though and includes rocket ships with sparks flying out of them, ray guns and an army of mindless robots - slaves controlled by fiendish helmets and worked until they die. 

Little to no subtlety maybe but it is all tremendous fun.