Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Hell and High Water (1954)

A superbly tense Cold War drama, with a difference. A mysterious nuclear explosion occurs in the North Pacific, this film explains how it happens. Former submarine captain Jones (Richard Widmark) is recruited by a covert group, which includes the famous nuclear scientist Montel (Victor Francen) - who had recently been reported missing. They want him to command a former Japanese World War 2 submarine to investigate what is going on on some islands in the North Pacific...

Along with Montel and the rather more comely scientist Gerard (Bella Darvi), the submarine heads North. Only escaping an encounter with a Red China submarine by the skin of their teeth. When they reach the island they discover an ingenious plot to crash a former US bomber with a nuclear bomb in Korea...

This film combines submarine warfare with Cold War escapades and does it really well. The characters may be a bit one dimensional perhaps but the film is packed with so much action there probably wasn't the time.

Monday, August 30, 2021

Helpmates (1932)

Oliver Hardy's wife (Blanche Payson) has been away and the house is a complete wreck, when he finds out that his wife is on her way home today he panics and calls on Stan Laurel to help him clean up the house. Naturally calling on Stan's help results in complete chaos and much destruction. 

Finally the house is in something vaguely resembling tidy Oliver heads to pick up his impatient wife at the station, Stan decides to light the fire so all is nice and warm and comfy. However, as the fire will not light he gets some paraffin, what is the worst that could happen?

The humour and slapstick is pretty obvious, you can see the situations coming a mile off but they are all executed perfectly. A great comedy short.

Friday, August 27, 2021

Let George Do It! (1940)

Hilarious early wartime nonsense. When the ukulele player at an orchestra in Bergen, Norway is murdered, we discover that he was a British agent investigating the band leader Mendez (Garry Marsh), Mendez is a suspected Nazi agent sending the locations of British ships to u-boats. The British send another ukulele player / agent as a replacement but due to a mix-up in the blackout George Formby is sent instead!

George is completely hapless of course and has no idea what is going on when his contact Mary (Phyllis Calvert) tries to get him to help. George is spurred on to his patriotic duty and Mary's disappointment and, amid mayhem in a bakery, discovers how Mendez sends his codes (quite ingeniously it must be said). Mendez also discovers something, that George is a spy and he concocts a devious scheme to get rid of him...

Complete pantomime farce of course, especially George's dream sequence where he ends up punching Hitler! The slapstick mayhem is dialled up to eleven in the final act aboard the u-boat. To be honest if we'd have a few more George Formbys the war would have been over by 1941 one way or the other! Very funny indeed. Mother!

Thursday, August 26, 2021

Atragon (1963)

The ancient Mu Empire, from under the seas, is launching an attack on the world above. They are trying to seize engineers and experts, which brings them to the attention of Japanese photographer Susumu (Tadao Takashima) and retired Admiral Kusumi (Ken Uehara). The agents of Mu also try to kidnap Kusumi and Makato (Yoko Fujiyama), the daughter of the Admiral's former comrade Jinguji. Makato thinks her father was lost in the war but Mu seems to think he is alive and building a new super submarine...

Kusumi admits it is true and they go to find Jinguji, taking along in tow a reporter (Kenji Sahara) who is so overtly a Mu agent it is ridiculous! On a remote island in the Pacific they find Jinguji (Jun Tazaki) and he shows them the incredible flying submarine he has developed in secret. However, as Mu begins it's attacks on the world above and turns a big chunk of Tokyo into a crater... Jinguji won't help! He says his submarine is only for the glory of the Japanese empire! Can Kusumi and Makato persuade Jinguji to change his mind before the mighty forces of Mu led by the Empress (Tetsuko Kobayashi) conquers the world?

Very good Japanese sci-fi / monster nonsense (Mu has a living god sea serpent though it is beaten rather easily). The film drags at times and some of the storyline doesn't make a lot of sense but this is a fun film overall full of terrific special effects and mayhem. Jinguji's tension, torn between duty and his love for his daughter adds a welcome bit of depth to the film.

Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Quatermass 2 (1957)

Excellent science fiction horror thrills. Dr Quatermass (Brian Donlevy) is annoyed because Whitehall has canned his plans for a Moon base. Meanwhile, strange meteorites are landing in the countryside. When Quatermass goes to investigate, he discovers a secret base, just like his plans for a Moon base! His assistant (Brian Forbes) is afflicted by an exploding meteorite and suddenly strange men in masks appear and seize the assistant and send Quatermass packing...

Quatermass knows something weird is going on. He gains access to the base with the help of an MP (Tom Chatto) friend, but his friend dies covered in a bizarre substance and Quatermass narrowly avoids capture and probable zombification. 

With the help of another friend, Police Inspector Lomax (John Longden) and a reporter (Sid James), Quatermass tries to enlight the help of the men of a local village. At first they are hesitant, but when a local girl is hurt by a meteorite, they rise in rebellion and storm the base. Quatermass knows that an unimaginable alien horror lurks in the giant steel tanks...

Although the effects are dated of course the film is chilling, the Quatermass films were always able to portray inhuman horror and science terror perfectly. 

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Cowboy Holiday (1934)

An adequate yet unexceptional Western. Buck (Guinn "Big Boy" Williams) is a cowboy travelling across the range on holiday, after a slightly strange encounter involving a friend cowboy in a dress and some spanking, he arrives at the home of another friend of his, the Sheriff (John Elliot). Buck learns that the Sheriff is under pressure to bring in the Juarez Kid (Julian Riviero) or lose his job.



However, the Juarez Kid is another friend of Buck and he doesn't think the Kid is guilty. He decides to help the Sheriff and find out who is really doing all the stealing.

So pretty familiar stuff, including a budding romance with a rancher's daughter (Janet Chandler) of course. Unfortunately the film is rather flat and lifeless with some questionable execution. A more charismatic lead would have helped a lot to elevate the material, as it is the film is reasonably competent but no more.





Monday, August 23, 2021

Blind Date (1984)

A curious mess of a film. A deranged serial killer is incapacitating young women and practicing surgery on them. Meanwhile cocky advertising executive Jonathan (Joseph Bottoms), when he isn't sleeping with Kirstie Alley, is haunted by a girl called Rachel (Lana Clarkson) whom he once knew but lost contact with after a terrible incident in their past. Jonathan thinks he has found the girl in Athens but then he hits his head on a tree and is blinded.

(Mad) scientist (Keir Dullea) gives him the chance to "see" again using radar sensors hidden in a Walkman which feed into his brain. Although all he can "see" looks like an early 1970s video game, he is able to function again. He crosses paths with the serial killer, who has even disposed of Marina Sirtis, and begins a hunt for him. Can he catch him before the maniac kills Rachel?

Really this is two films, the amateur surgeon serial killer, and the story of how Jonathan loses and regains his sight. Both films are interesting, even pretty good. Unfortunately when they are put together it all becomes a bit of a mess. It is slash gore horror meets Tron, worth seeing mostly for curiosity value.

Friday, August 20, 2021

The Princess and the Pirate (1944)

A very funny Bob Hope romp. The brutal pirate Hook (Victor MacLaglen) aims to kidnap the Princess (Virginia Mayo) who is on the run from the King (Robert Warwick). She is aboard a ship along with Bob Hope and his rather second-rate comedy act as Sylvester. The Princess and Sylvester end up the prisoners of Hook but are freed by the eccentric Featherhead (Walter Brennan) who gives them a map to Hook's treasure.

The Princess and Sylvester are soon the prisoners of La Roche (Walter Slezek) who wants to claim the reward from the King but is also in league with Hook. A chaotic and hilarious sequence at La Roche's mansion ends up with Sylvester impersonating Hook...

A very silly film full of obvious (but genuinely funny) gags and slapstick. Bing Crosby makes an appearance right at the very end.

Thursday, August 19, 2021

Marabunta (1998)

Jim (Eric Lutes) arrives in Alaska for a spot of fishing, but his holiday gets off to a bad start when he finds a dead moose which has been eaten down to the bone in hours. Not long afterwards a human similarly consumed. And whats more... no fish!

Luckily Jim is an entomologist and soon discovers that meat eating ants from South America are to blame (obviously). With the help of the Sheriff (Mitch Pileggi) and teacher/future love interest Laura (Julia Campbell), the town is evacuated but no plan goes that smoothly...

Trapped in the town, our heroes are surrounded by ants as the town is overrun by the little things. As flamethrowers, guns and chemicals are not enough to stop the ants wiping out Alaska, Jim has a plan to blow up a dam to drown the ants. Only problem is to get the explosives required means going back into the midst of the ants...

Insect based monster films generally are cheesy and terrible, but Marabunta must rank as one of the worst. Low budget, ropey special effects, average acting and (as this was a TV movie) the action is nicely packaged for the regular advert breaks. It is terrible and somehow brilliant at the same time.

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

Another Fine Mess (1930)

The first official Stan Laurel & Oliver Hardy film was 1927's Duck Soup, this was a talkie remake of it and is a madcap comedy short packed full of gags and crazy antics. Colonel Buckshot (James Finlayson) is heading off to Africa on Safari, his staff leave the house empty early. It is thus in this condition that Laurel and Hardy, a couple of tramps on the run from the police, find the house.

Lord Plumtree (Charles Gerrard) and his wife (Thelma Todd) arrive to rent the house. Oliver pretends to be Colonel Buckshot and Stan has to pretend to be both the butler and the maid, outfit changed where necessary. Oliver manages to agree a price with Plumtree but their plan all falls through when Colonel Buckshot arrives back home early...

This is a fun comedy short though maybe packed with too much going on at times. The comedy replies more on gags and comedic repetition than slapstick though it does end with some remarkable stunts.

Tuesday, August 17, 2021

The Net (1953)

A bit melodramatic and uneven but an exciting enough aviation spy drama. Michael (James Donald) is the developer of the top secret research aircraft M7, he devotes so much time he neglects his wife Lydia (Phyllis Calvert) who briefly finds solace in the arms of fellow scientist Alex (Herbert Lom). Meanwhile, there is a spy in the base whom Sam (Robert Beatty) is hunting for...

We know who the spy is though, the doctor Bord (Noel Willman), who plans to steal M7 and Michael along with it. After a near disastrous first flight, he manipulates Michael into taking him with him on an unauthorised second flight and that is when he will strike...

The film isn't sure what it should be. It could be a spy drama, aviation adventure or melodramatic romance and if it had chosen one of those and stuck with it it probably would have been an excellent film. Unfortunately it tries to be all three with varying degrees of success. 

The special effects with M7, which is a classic British 1950s style vision of the future of flight (basically a Victor bomber with nuclear engines), are pretty good. The tension, when it is there, is good. The padding kind of ruins things a bit, but overall a decent watch.

Monday, August 16, 2021

Lady Ice (1973)

An enjoyably trashy though complicated crime movie. Andy (Donald Sutherland) is an insurance investigator who employs unusual methods to get back stolen gems. This includes handcuffing a fat man to a toilet and posing as a mechanic at the garage owned by Booth (Patrick Magee) as he knows Booth's daughter Paula (Jennifer O'Neill) is a top jewel fence along with Eddie (Jon Cypher). The law in the form of Pierce (Robert Duvall) are also after the jewels and Booth (who has suspicious sources of income) but is prepared to let Andy do the running for now.

A game of cat and mouse between Andy and Paula, who knows he is not what he seems - at first she just thinks he is just another thief. This ends up with Andy getting a kicking from Eddie's goons. Eddie wants Andy silenced permanently but Paula talks him out of it especially she now knows his true purpose and has taken a bit of a shine to his cocky charms... 

A jewellery store is robbed in Chicago, the jewels end up in Eddie's possession in the Bahamas but Andy arranges for Eddie to be mugged and gets hold of the jewels. He uses them in a complicated scheme with the police to get Eddie and his thugs busted and get Paula off the hook...

A decent film though a little hard to follow at times. It is also rather superficial, most scenes look cool (there are lots of hot sports cars in it for example) but lack much energy or much purpose and the plot does meander a bit. Treat it like a trashy airport novel.

Friday, August 13, 2021

Liberty (1929)

Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy escape from prison. They manage to get away fine with some help, though in their rush to get dressed they appear to have put on each others trousers! Changing into the correct trousers is of course not as simple as it sounds, and Stan ends up with a crab down his pair! This causes more slapstick mayhem.

With the police still after them, they hide in a workman's lift on a skyscraper building site. They of course end up on top of the building and have to creep along the bare girders with various death defying stunts.

Not the best Laurel and Hardy comedy short but with plenty of invention especially in the skyscraper sequence though this part of the film might go on a bit too long.

Thursday, August 12, 2021

The Jigsaw Man (1983)

An excellent spy drama. Kimberley, a former MI6 chief now Soviet defector in Moscow is tasked with retrieving a stolen document in England, he is given a new identity and face using plastic surgery and becomes Michael Caine! Kimberley immediately gives his KGB handlers the slip and contacts the head of MI6 Sir Gerald (Laurence Olivier), he wants to exchange the document for cash.

Kimberley also contacts his daughter Penelope (Susan George) and uses her help to stay hidden, and recover from an attempted assassination by the KGB. Sir Gerald knows that Kimberley is the man behind the new identity and a game of cat and mouse begins with rival spy boss Sir James (Charles Grey) and top agent Fraser (Robert Powell) who has been sleeping with Penelope.

A fairly complicated plot line ends up with a highly enjoyable and strange car chase through a safari park. The budget was fairly low and it shows, the film is very reminiscent of TV dramas of the time like The Professionals - and that is no bad thing.

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Raffles (1939)

A jolly crime caper. Raffles (David Niven) is a top-class cricketer by day and a master criminal by night. He is responsible for a string of daring crimes across London as the "Master Craftsman", taunting Inspector Mackenzie (Dudley Digges). 

However, Mackenzie gets a clue. Raffles is planning to steal the jewels of Lady Melrose (Dame May Whitty) in order to raise funds for his out of luck chum Bunny (Douglas Walton). Raffles and Bunny are guests at the home of Lord Melrose (Lionel Pape) along with Gwen (Olivia de Havilland), Raffles' new love interest. Mackenzie also invites himself to the house...

To complicate matters a much more mundane thief (Peter Godfrey) is also after the jewels. Raffles ends up stopping this theft and ends up with the jewels himself. Back in London, Raffles plans to fence the jewels but Mackenzie by now knows who the Master Craftsman is. Can Raffles evade the long arm of the law?

A light and fast moving crime drama that ends up a bit of a romp. It is slightly marred by the terrible British accents by some of the American actors but Niven plays a great role. Not very substantial but definitely fun.

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

One of Our Aircraft is Missing (1942)

A superior WW2 propaganda film. The cheekie chappie crew of a Wellington bomber bail out over the Netherlands after their plane is hit (though it continues on without them to eventually crash into a pylon back home!) The air crew, led by Haggard (Hugh Burden) and Corbett (Godfrey Tearle), meet up with Dutch locals and an English speaking teacher (Pamela Brown) who helps them get to the coast and evade the German patrols. However, the journey is fraught with danger, from the Germans and collaborators.

Finally they end up at the home of de Vries (Googie Withers), who at first appearance is a collaborator but is really fighting the Germans behind the scenes. She helps the air crew get a boat and they reach the North Sea and (eventual) safety...

A tense wartime drama, although made for propaganda purposes it is elevated by the shades of grey, realism and an attempt of some humanisation of the enemy. The Germans are still the bad guys but some attempt is made to make them more than cardboard characters. Our heroes are normal chaps who are trying to do their best not chisel jawed super men. A good film though a little slow at times. Notable for being Peter Usinov's film debut, though he is hardly recognisable until he speaks!

Monday, August 9, 2021

Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women (1968)

As with Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet, this is an edited version of the Soviet science-fiction film Planeta Bur with added footage of mysterious women of Venus led by Mamie van Doren who wear sea shells and have some silver paint on their bellies! The astronauts, which include Gennadi Vernov and Georgi Zhzhyonov, are supposedly American but don't ask why their space ship has red stars on it!

Venus is a strange world inhabited by various rubber monsters including a flying reptile the Venus women regard as their god. However, when the astronauts kill the creature the Venus women call up a volcano and earthquake...

The film is very surreal. Despite the fact the film is made from two completely different ones the result is reasonably coherent though does at times drag slightly. The film is dubbed and the dialogue is sometimes rather clumsy to match the original Russian speaking lips!

Friday, August 6, 2021

The Finishing Touch (1928)

Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy are tasked with finishing a house in record time by Sam Lufkin, what could go wrong? a framework Actually let us rephrase that, what would go right? Because a building site is just an endless opportunity for slapstick mayhem. The poor policeman Edgar Kennedy gets dragged into the destruction, a hilarious scene sees him covered in tar and then a load of roof slates fall on him and stick to him!

To make matters worse, the nurse (Dorothy Coburn) of a hospital next door is demanding that Stan and Ollie make as little noise as possible. As you can imagine this is a forlorn hope...

This is a very funny and very silly film, the story is pretty basic and largely a framework for a series of comedic situations. The slapstick doesn't always work but the film races along a such a pace that you don't have time to dwell on it when it doesn't.

Thursday, August 5, 2021

Twins of Evil (1971)

An excellent Hammer horror. Twins Freida (Madeleine Collinson) and Maria (Mary Collinson) are sent to live with their Uncle Gustav (Peter Cushing) in the countryside. Unfortunately their uncle is the leader of a fanatical Puritan sect who hunt for witches and burn them alive. The girls also live in the shadow of the castle of Count Karnstein (Damien Thomas), who really is a servant of Satan.

Despite the pleadings of the teacher Anton (David Warbeck) that their methods are flawed, Gustav's Puritans continue to pursue and burn young girls. Meanwhile the Count inducts Freida into the dark path of the vampire. Her insatiable lust for blood really does turn the village upside down...

Although nothing too original, this is a fun Hammer horror and vampire film which takes advantage of real identical twins for some big bosomed identity switching. The film has plenty of fake blood, dubious "Satanic" rituals and a big slice of cheese. All you really want from an early 1970s Hammer horror.

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Terror Train (1980)

A slasher killer loose on a steam train! A group of college kids hold their end of year party on a sleeper train, much debauchery is planned at night. What isn't planned is their ex-classmate Kenny (Derek MacKinnon), whom was sent to an asylum a few years ago after a prank went wrong, also joining the party and beginning his revenge with the help of various sharp objects.

While Alana (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Doc (Hart Bochner) are watching The Magician (David Copperfield), the body count starts to add up much to the consternation of the train conductor (Ben Johnson). Once the actions of Kenny are known a bitter and bloody battle for survival begins aboard the train as it steams through the night...

Although the slasher revenge theme is not too original, the setting is quite novel and adds an interesting dimension to the thrills and scares. The Magician adds a bit of mystery and cheese.

Tuesday, August 3, 2021

Brats (1930)

Sheer comic invention. With the wives away Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy are looking after the boys, who look remarkably like exact mini versions of their Dads. However, while Stan and Ollie are trying to play a quiet game of draughts the boys are always up to mischief. Finally they are sent to bed but this is where the problems and destruction go up another level!

This is an incredibly inventive little film. All of the props were made twice, one normal size and the other larger so Stan and Ollie can realistically play children. 

The slapstick and visual gags are standard Laurel and Hardy fare but done so well, they are easily able to carry this film on their own.

Monday, August 2, 2021

The Long and the Short and the Tall (1961)

A gritty war film. Mitchem (Richard Todd) is leading a British Army patrol in the Malayan jungle with the Japanese closing in. His motley group of men fulfil various British stereotypes including the anti-establishment cocky cockney Bamforth (Laurence Harvey) and the touchy, proud but conflicted Scotsman (Ronald Fraser). Mitchem's main problem seems to be with Corporal Johnson (Richard Harris) who questions his orders.

Holed up in a hut the men capture a Japanese soldier (Kenji Takaki), Bamforth forges a friendship with the man and ends up defending him when Mitchem decides the man must die, and Johnson shows a rather bloodthirsty desire to carry out that order. When it is established the Japanese are a lot closer than expected the patrol tries to retreat but is it too late?

Although studio based (with some stock footage of wild animals) the film makes the most of it's limited sets and budget to produce a realistic view of war, and it's effects on humanity. No daring chisel jawed heroes here, more like ordinary men hurled into extraordinary times and how the true man behind the facade emerges when the pressure is on.