Attack of the Super Monsters (1982)

These arn't just any old monsters, these are super monsters!

Evil Lord Tyrannos leads the Dinosaurs back to the surface of the Earth, having been living deep underground in secret all these years. He unleashes his monsters and waves of terrestrial mammals mutated by his evil powers on Earth to destroy mankind. He starts with a wave of red dogs. The only thing that can save humanity is, of course, four teenagers! Two of which have the Gemini power which means they merge using cyber power to become a super flying machine with drills.

You might have guessed by now that this is Japanese. The monsters are played by guys in rubber suits, destroyed cardboard buildings. The rest of the footage is anime and it can be a bit jarring at times switching between the two.

This film is made up of four episodes of a TV series (Dinosaur War Izenborg), each episode following the same formula so we get quite a bit of repetition. It is great fun though doesn't make a lot of sense, Tyrannos sounds terrific, though he it does seem like he needs something for his sore throat.

The Mole People (1956)

Although not executed that well this film has a brilliant premise. 

A team of archaeologists in Mesopotamia (we can guess, the film just describes it as "Asia" which doesn't really narrow things down much) discover some ancient writings near the top of a mountain. Dr Bentley (John Agar) and his buddies are trapped under a glacier after an earthquake and discover a lost Sumerian civilisation which has existed underground for the last five thousand years!

The Sumerians exist on mushrooms and enslave savage reptilian like creatures. They also have a harsh and deadly regime where surplus population are sacrificed to Ishtar. Bentley poses as a herald of Ishtar and has a crush on slave girl Adad (Cynthia Patrick). Meanwhile, the high priest (Alan Napier) is suspicious of Bentley and plans to get rid of him...

Although a fairly basic film in many ways i loved the idea of this film, being a historian myself (even if their "Sumerian" script is actually Egyptian hieroglyphs at times not cuneiform!) Lost worlds are always fun, more than the real world indeed.

Call the Mesquiteers (1938)

Part of the very long running Mesquiteers series of westerns, though as this takes place in the present (well 1930s) day can it be a western or just a crime drama with stetsons?

The Mesquiteers are dragged into a criminal conspiracy when their truck is stopped by some robbers on the run after doing a job. The criminals are killed in a shootout with the Mesquiteers but the police don't know that the Mesquiteers are innocent and now our heroes Ray Corrigan, Robert Livingston and Max Terhune are on the run from the law (who seem keen on doing an instant lynching) and catch the real criminals...

Despite the modern day setting this is a standard Mesquiteer film with the requisite amount of horse riding, fighting and interplay between the trio. Its a reasonable film, not the best in the series but perfectly fine to watch.

Santa's Christmas Circus (1966)

A somewhat awful little film in many ways though (unintentionally) funny in others.

The clown Whizzo (Frank Wiziarde), after much mild slapstick and messing about, finally gathers a group of children who sit around while he tries to entertain them and instil some Christmas spirit. To be honest they often look pretty bored and cough a lot (one seems to fart as well). Finally, Whizzo takes them to see Santa Claus (John Bilyeu) on a flying carpet (well of course). 

This is a strange film to be honest. Some of Whizzo's humour hasn't dated too well, though you wonder if it was that funny in the 1960s considering the audience reaction in the film! None of it really makes much sense. Maybe you shouldn't really expect it to?

The film has some nice footage of department store Christmas displays and a pleasing kitsch look and feel though at times will test your Christmas spirit. The real star of the film is the little girl who coughs throughout.

Santa with Muscles (1996)

A Hulk Hogan Christmas movie, this isn't as bad as you think it'll be. Its far worse.

Blake (Hogan) is a mean millionaire. In typical movie cliche style he bangs his head and now becomes a good guy in his amnesiac state. No one recognises him despite the fact he made his money selling best selling health supplements with his face plastered all over them! Plus the fact Hulk Hogan isn't exactly the most inconspicuous looking person in the world. As Blake banged his head wearing a Santa outfit for reasons he thinks he really is Father Christmas.

Meanwhile, another rich evil man called Ebner Frost (Ed Begley Jr) wants to close down an orphanage so he can get his hands on highly volatile crystals in catacombs below the orphanage. Blake, who by now has regained his memory, and also reveals he was at the orphanage as a child, becomes a good guy (yay!) and battles Frost and his collection of goons (which includes Brutus Beefcake as a "sumo lab assistant" - what?)

So, a very strange film indeed. Quite terrible in terms of story and plot too, some of the action scenes are well done - if rather inexplicable. The comedy though, which the film really should have more of, is lacking badly - apart from the unintentional of course.

The Christmas Tree (1975)

There isn't much to this short film. The tale of a tinsel Christmas tree that is taken to a home, stands watch over Christmas and is then binned and burnt (and goes to Christmas tree heaven!)

This tree has a face (Julian Chagrin) however, but the family do not seem to notice this oddity. It is a charming but somewhat odd film, and i love it. As a child of the 1970s, the most dear Christmas time to me was the mid-1970s when it was still a wonder to me and not a chore. The true magic of Christmas is there. Coming down to the tree all excited on Christmas morning to get my new toys. Luckily our trees didn't have faces, or die for that matter as it was made of plastic tinsel. 

So, this is a great little oddity of a film and the best Christmas film i've ever seen (though to be honest that isn't saying much as the genre is usually pretty awful). Anyway Merry Christmas!

Carry on Christmas (1969)

The Carry On team do a Christmas Carol... and er... Frankenstein and Dracula for some reason.

Scrooge (Sid James) makes the life of Cratchit (Bernard Bresslaw) a misery. Scrooge is visited by the ghost of Christmas past (Charles Hawtrey) and present (Barbara Windsor). We then get a rather odd horror film pastiche involving Dr Frank N Stein (Terry Scott) and then a pantomime. It is all rather strange and all rather awful...

The script was rather uninspired and it seems thrown together very poorly. The only real humour is from the classic catchphrases from the likes of Sid James and Charles Hawtrey. 

Its a real shame as this could have been something special with most of the classic cast being present. Best enjoyed on Christmas night after half a bottle of brandy.

The Fairy King of Ar (1998)

A whimsical tale of fairies and elves. 

Kyle (Jameson Baltes) and Evie (Brittney Bomann) are told tales of elves by their grandmother. A short while later, after their grandmother has passed, the family have come to live in her house. 

However, the family encounter strange reactions from, and are made unwelcome by, the villagers and the house's gardener (Malcolm McDowell). There is some sort of local secret the villagers do not want the family messing with. The children also begin to encounter little flying creatures in the woods. It all leads to an old gold mine where the fairies are trapped...

Its a nice little film but nothing much more than that. The children actors do a good job and the fairy special effects are quite enchanting. The plot though is as ethereal as any of the woodland folk and the whole film meanders at times.

Mandrake, the Magician (Serial) (1939)

An enjoyable comic book adaptation about a magician who fights crimes with his side kick (Al Kikume), kind of like Batman in a top hat.

Mandrake (Warren Hull) is on an ocean liner doing card tricks, and trying to avoid being shot by random hoodlums. Meanwhile, Professor Houston (Forbes Murray) is perfecting his new radium ray cannon but the technology is wanted by the maniacal villain The Wasp. Houston is kidnapped by The Wasp's henchmen. 

Can Mandrake and Houston's daughter Betty (Doris Weston) save the day in a series of death defying cliff hangers?

This is marvellously pulpy tosh though very entertaining all the same. It has all the ingredients for a decent 1930s serial and works very well overall though will get a bit a repetitive in the end as these serials tend to do. Great fun and The Wasp is a piece of genius.

Charlie Chan in Panama (1940)

One of the best Charlie Chan films as he uncovers an enemy plot to sabotage the Panama Canal...

Charlie Chan (Sidney Toler) is working undercover in Panama (selling hats of course). When a group of travellers arrive in town, one of them visits Charlie (his contact) but dies soon after, poisoned by his own cigarettes. Charlie and Jimmy (Victor Sen Yung) investigate the other travellers, one of whom is thought to be a mysterious foreign agent and who plans to attack the Panama Canal while a US Navy fleet is sailing through it...

This is a great film that keeps you guessing until the end (though seasoned watchers / readers of whodunnits from this period will probably guess who the agent is!) The high stakes (the world was at war, though America was not yet involved but probably knew they would soon), intricate plot and good performances (including by Jack La Rue, who always plays a good villain) make this a highly enjoyable film.

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957)

The Citizen Kane of bad movies, a legend in the trash movie genre. But it is really that bad? Yes.

Flying saucers (wobbly ones at that) are visiting the Earth. For some reason they are bringing the dead back to life, including the rather unfortunate Bela Lugosi (this was indeed his last film). These zombies can be controlled by the aliens for their own nefarious ends. The police and military vaguely mill around and eventually confront the aliens including Vampira and Tor Johnson on their wobbly space saucer...

A very low budget film indeed, and often unintentionally hilarious (such as when a soldier is supposed to be standing in the open but you can see the wrinkles in the "sky" behind him). The acting veers between basic and terrible and the story is very confused (is this a science fiction film or a horror?) 

It is wonderful though because of that, it's cult classic status is well deserved. Everyone needs to see this film at least once.

Robo Vampire (1988)

What on Earth is going on here, it seems like at least three films all spliced together. Well it is by Godfrey Ho...

Thai drug lords have a highly effective though also unusual weapon in their armoury: Chinese hopping vampires! Meanwhile, anti-drug agent Tom is killed in action, but then bought back to life in a knock-off RoboCop-like manner in a highly scientific operation carried out in a battered looking spare room at the police station. This version of the robot policeman however, looks rather laughable with his silver padded jacket and helmet. He battles the vampires, and the drug barons' hoods. Meanwhile, a female agent is captured by the drug lords...

This film makes no sense whatsoever! Godfrey Ho spliced together a Thai action movie with new footage (1984's Paa Lohgan to be precise) with some new footage of the Not-Robocop fighting hopping vampires. The result is incredibly incoherent but the film is undoubtably entertaining and frequently unintentionally hilarious with it's endless but also senseless action scenes. 

This film is pretty amazing, for most of it you won't really believe your eyes and maybe you will wonder if someone spiked your drink. Just be glad a film like this exists.

The Wonderful Land of Oz (1969)

Don't do drugs kids, you might end up making a film like this.

Evil Mombi (Zisca Baum) the witch threatens to turn young Tip (Chan Mahon) into a statue after he creates a man out of a pumpkin (George Wadsworth). He runs away with his pumpkin man to the Emerald City but gets mixed up in a military coup. Tip teams up with the Scarecrow (Michael R Thomas) and Tin man (Allen Joseph) to raise their own army against the revolution...

Where do we start with this film, it is all pretty awful. The sets are cheap and basic, the acting is mostly terrible (apart from Zisca Baum who is pretty good as a witch). If you haven't suffered enough then there are some dreadful songs too. 

Oh there is a badly made puppet cow head too. Its all pretty amazing, though mostly in a bad way.

Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974)

The first in a series of British sex comedies, you'll probably love or hate it. I love a bit of it!

Tim (Robin Askwith) is working as an apprentice window cleaner for his brother-in-law Sidney (Anthony Booth). However, Tim soon realises that bored housewives are driven incredibly randy by window cleaners apparently (knww i should have taken up my grandfather's trade)... 

Whilst indulging in saucy but what are often also rather awkward situations with various ladies, Tim falls in love with policewoman Elizabeth (Linda Hayden), much to the chagrin of his Dad (Bill Maynard) who has filled the house with nicked junk...

This is a typical early 1970s British film. Saucy, smutty, grubby and tawdry with a few decent tunes. However, it is also wonderfully enjoyable. The film is pretty ridiculous and is a great fun sex comedy, maybe not boisterously hilarious for a comedy but certainly has plenty of sex. John Le Mesurier is excellent as Elizabeth's disapproving police inspector father.

The League of Frightened Men (1937)

The somewhat unlikely screen detective Nero Wolfe's second and last appearance.

A group of Harvard alumni plea for help from private detective Nero Wolfe (Walter Connolly). At least two of their number have been killed and they think Chaplin (Eduardo Ciannelli), who became accidentally crippled due to their hazing at uni, is out for revenge and is behind the murders.

Wolfe, who is housebound, sends his assistant Archie (Lionel Stander) to do the legwork. Chaplin is a popular author and some of Archie's detective work includes trying to get his hands on Chaplin's typewriter and skulking around bookshops. The plot proceeds with the usual red herrings, tangents and clues of a typical 1930s detective B-movie...

Because that is what this is, a typical film of the genre. It isn't really a Nero Wolfe movie, from what i have read of the literary character, the Wolfe in this film is quite different (which is probably why the movie series ended with this one). So, treat it like it is, a decent if not overly brilliant detective film. It certainly has a great title. 

Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957)

Teenagers versus little green men, not as terrible as you might expect!

A UFO lands near a small town, the aliens having large heads and eyes and fingers that spread venom. They are encountered by some of the town's "teenagers" (who look on average 27) who are busy on Lover's Lane doing teenager things. When Johnny (Steven Terrell) and Joan (Gloria Castillo) run down one of the aliens all their troubles start, especially with an incredulous police force. Little green men eh? 

The US military know about the UFO though, and manage to blow it up. They blame the explosion on a jetplane crash, however a group of the aliens are still running rampant through the countryside worrying cattle. Looks like the teens may have to save the day...

A low budget science-fiction film, and often pretty silly and cheesy. However, the film holds together, remarkably well despite everything. Its a fun film and a decent watch.

Martial Law (1991)

This low-budget direct to video and somewhat cheesy martial arts crime movie could have been terrible but luckily/somehow it isn't...

The dangerous Rhodes (David Carradine) is a crime boss involved in gun smuggling and sports car theft, he is also a master of martial arts. So, who best to investigate him then than two cops who are also martial arts masters in the form of Sean (Chad McQueen) and Billie (Cynthia Rothrock)? However, Sean's younger brother Michael (Andy McCutcheon) has been dragged into a life of crime and comes under the wing of Rhodes...

So, you kind of know what this film is going to be like. A series of action set pieces held together by a serviceable though pretty flimsy and unoriginal plot. However, the action set pieces are in fact pretty good with plenty of violence and well planned fighting scenes. 

Much of the rest of the film is of variable quality but the sometimes unintentionally hilarious acting and storyline makes the film very entertaining indeed.

Gang War (1940)

A low budget "race movie" starring, made by and aimed at black Americans, and a fast moving snappy crime tale.

Killer Meade (Ralph Cooper) takes over a Harlem gang and then enters a war with a rival gang leader (Laurence Criner). Meanwhile, he is wooing Maizie (Gladys Snyder) though she is engaged to another man. Maizie doesn't want Killer to end up... er... killed. When Killer goes to finally finish off his rival, Maizie calls Lieutenant Holmes (Jess Lee Brooks). Killer ain't going to be taken alive though...

A breezy and cool film, much of the plot is detailed via newspaper front pages displayed in the screen. This gives more of the limited run time to more interesting things like shooting, and a lengthy scene at the club with various acts. The film is exciting though suffers at times from the low budget and limited acting abilities of some of the cast, though not the leads who all do a decent job. In fact this is a surprisingly good film.

Mars Needs Women (1968)

A rather bizarre science-fiction film, about the Martian need for Earth women...

Mars is dying due to reasons, the Martian Dop (Tommy Kirk) leads a team to Earth to find some suitable fertile females for breeding purposes. Dop announces this plan to the US military beforehand for some reason. Dop and his team begin selecting suitable females. Pole dancers and flight attendants seem to be the preferred choice (natch). 

However, Dop selects the female scientist Dr Bolen (Yvonne Craig) for his target and falls in love with her. The authorities are meanwhile searching high and low for the Martians...

This is a pretty awful film to be honest. The overall premise is sound perhaps though crudely implemented and overall the film is pretty sleazy and cheap. The story makes little sense of course and often is (unintentionally) hilarious.

Thru Traffic (1935)

Amiable melodrama that ironically doesn't get into high gear.

Two rival racing car drivers Martin (Paul Kelly) and Dan (Russell Hardie) have their careers cut short in a bad accident. They decide to go into business together with a garage. However, crooked politicians who want to involve the garage in their kickback scam and a love triangle with Pat (Marguerite Churchill) put their friendship in peril... 

It's a decent enough film, a typically fast moving B-movie that lacks a bit of depth. Everything is a little rushed due to the short B-movie running time. Its fine though, a perfectly inoffensive film but could have been better.

Double Nickels (1977)

A low budget and even lower plot car chase marathon but despite everything somehow this is a very good film.

Smokey (Jack Vacek) and Ed (Ed Abrahms) are Californian highway patrolmen who get involved with George (George Cole) and his car repro business to earn a little more dough. However, they discover that the cars they are repossessing are really stolen. George finds that he also has been duped by the Mr Big. The three of them team up to sort things out amid many car chases.

This is a low budget film with basic acting, indeed many of the cast are obviously none-actors but it does give the acting and film in general a genial and natural air. There is no need to worry too much about the acting or basic plot though, most of the film is car chases and sometimes are done very well. 

The film probably won't please everyone but i love low budget and basic films from this era. It works really well and is a very enjoyable film.

Journey to the Center of Time (1967)

Low budget and fairly low quality time travel science fiction fare, some of the ideas are quite interesting though.

Dr Gordon (Abraham Sofaer), Mark (Anthony Eisley) and Karen (Gigi Perreau) are working on a science project to see into the past. Unfortunately they can only see 24 hours into the past. Their backer Stanton (Scott Brady) tells them they need to show some better results or he is pulling the funding. During a last gasp experiment various things go bang and they can see into the far future. In fact they can't just see the future... they are there.

After a short period where they get involved in a short battle between future human barbarians and light blue skinned aliens, they are sent into the far past and get menaced by rather dodgy looking dinosaurs (even though they've only gone back 1 million years)...

This film is nonsense and takes place mostly on one set padded out with a lot of stock footage. The lab does have the necessary amount of dials and flashing lights so you know that SCIENCE is taking place! Various weird events take place and are explained using large amounts of scientific mumbo jumbo, thus this film can be seen as the forerunner of many awful Star Trek episodes. The film isn't very good but is entertaining enough to be able to hold your interest.

Cyber Tracker (1994)

We are in the future (2024 or thereabouts) and justice is dispensed by a cold heartless android killing machine. This is Terminator meets Robocop meets Judge Dread with about one hundredth of the budget.

Don (Don "The Dragon" Wilson) is a secret service agent tasked with protecting a senator (John Aprea) in a future America where the state has merged with a giant corporation. By now policing is done by near invincible androids who also act as judge, jury and executioner (one assumes they are not used to police jaywalking or parking offences). Don protects the senator from a terrorist group who want to stop the cyber police. 

The senator tries to bring Don into their dark secret though he wants to remain a good guy (of course). He is framed for murder and now the cyber cops and the human enforcer in the form of Ross (Richard Norton) are sent after him...

The story isn't up to much and doesn't have much originality. The film does have a lot of action and a lot of violence. Cars don't just crash, they explode. Most characters end up butchered by heavy calibre rounds. The violence does help to make the film watchable though overall the film isn't that great. The hi-tech "future" graphics and computers which look dated even by 1994's standards are funny though.

Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957)

The 1950s were a hazardous time, you couldn't move for some kind of radiation mutated monster. This time its the crabs...

A team of scientists arrive on a remote island to study the effect of nuclear weapon tests on local fauna. However, a scientist who was already supposed to be there has gone missing. Mysterious noises are heard of night and people start to die. The voices of some of those who have died, including the original scientist are heard at night...

To the horror of Dale (Richard Garland) and Martha (Pamela Duncan) the voices are from gigantic killer crabs! The radiation mutated crabs have eaten humans and absorbed their memories, and can even speak like them. The crabs are also impervious to anything fired at them...

Monster movies from this period are usually not the best of films but this one isn't that bad. It has some genuine suspense and builds the terror well. The monster crabs do not appear until well in the film, they arn't really worth the wait but you'll see a lot worse.

Charlie Chan at the Opera (1936)

Charlie Chan faces Boris Karloff, what more could you want?!

Years before a famous opera singer called Greville (Karloff) is thought to have died in a fire, but really he has spent his time in an asylum with no memory. That all changes though when he sees his former wife is in town performing at the theatre. He escapes and heads to the opera. 

When the people responsible for the fire (his wife and her lover) are killed at the theatre, Charlie Chan (Warner Oland) is bought in to investigate. Naturally Greville is suspected but is all that it seems?

The theatre setting and costumes give the film a feeling of the macabre at times and Karloff of course helps with the air of menace he can provide. All the ingredients for a good (if not one of the best) Charlie Chan films are there. The in-joke about Frankenstein is hilarious.

The Visitor (1979)

An entertaining if somewhat confusing and bizarre piece of science-fiction / horror.

The forces of good and evil are battling across the universe. On little old Earth a young girl called Katy (Paige Conner) is possessed by telekinetic powers and a desire to cause evil, her poor mum Barbara (Joanne Nail) gets crippled after Katy (accidentall? Maybe, maybe not.) shoots her in the spine. Police detective Durham (Glenn Ford) is convinced there is something going on with Katy, though the girl's demonic pet falcon soon sorts that out...

Meanwhile, Jerzy (John Huston) has arrived on Earth to find Katy and prevent her mum becoming pregnant again as the second child will be bad news for the universe...

It is all rather confusing with often strange visuals and a bizarrely inappropriate soundtrack. The demonic horror does work at times though, the film may have been better if it had concentrated on that and not the outer space battle stuff. However, the nonsense and oddness does make the film pretty unintentionally funny. Conner plays a great role as the demon child, though as with most 8 year olds it probably wasn't entirely acting.

New York Confidential (1955)

A tough and compelling crime drama.

The Syndicate run crime in the USA, in New York its headed by Lupo (Broderick Crawford) who is trying to arrange a billion dollar payday but this requires the help of Washington DC (a whole other level of hoodlum). Meanwhile, Nick (Richard Conte) is bought in from Chicago to make a hit. He soon gains Lupo's confidence and rises up the ranks. But trouble is brewing for Lupo, Nick and Lupo's daughter Katherine (Anne Bancroft)...

This is a dark Noir for sure. Nick makes an unlikely kind of hero considering the number of people he kills and maims but you do root for him. There is a real sense everyone is doomed though in this heartless and ruthless world. A very good film that doesn't waste much time.

First Spaceship on Venus (1960)

An East German science-fiction epic and it is equal parts amazing and weird.

An artefact from a meteorite strike is found to have come from Venus and contains a message. An international team of astronauts is sent off to Venus to discover what happened to the apparently advanced civilisation on the planet. Their mission soon runs into many hazards in outer space. When they reach Venus they discover the civilisation is in ruins, having destroyed themselves somehow while preparing to attack Earth. However, a super weapon is still aimed at Earth...

Although dubbed into English, this film stands out from other films of the period and genre with it's inventive set design and the thoughtful weighty plot. This isn't a space opera with all American heroes, in fact the film has a rather refreshing international feel about it. The film is pretty odd though, a lot of that is probably due to how the film was edited to fit the English dialogue. 

The Lady in the Morgue (1938)

A fast moving crime drama.

The body of a woman called Alice Ross is found hanging in a cheap hotel room, the police (Thomas E Jackson) call it a case of suicide. Private detective Bill Crane (Preston Foster) is hired by the healthy family of Kathryn Crawford (Patricia Ellis), who fear that Alice is really Kathryn, to investigate discreetly. However, the body disappears from the morgue and the police think Crane and his buddy Doc (Frank Jenks) have something to do with it.

Crane begins to unravel a complicated plot involving a mysterious women dancing in a bar, a jealous band leader and two rival gang leaders who were both involved with the missing/dead woman. He handles the case in breakneck fashion and with plenty of wise cracks.

This is an uneven film though held together by decent performances by the leads. There is quite a lot of story here and it is squeezed into a typically short B-movie length, some pruning of the story may have worked wonders. However, it is an enjoyable film for all the flaws.

Feeders (1996)

Aliens have come to conquer the world, though first it seems they need a snack... on humans.

A rather dodgy looking flying saucer deposits a couple of small aliens in the US backwoods. They begin to hunt down their prey, humans. Meanwhile, Derek (Jon McBride) and Bennett (John Polonia) are on a road trip and travel though where the aliens are. They are soon involved in the troublesome situation, with aliens who prove hard to kill until local girl Michelle (Melissa Torpy) treads on one...

This is quite an awfully made and zero-budget film. It looks like it was filmed in 1976 rather than 1996 and on well used video tape at that. The story and acting is rather poor and the special effects terrible. The film is of course... brilliant despite all of that, hilarious (usually unintentionally). The film has heart too, it doesn't feel cynical. 

The film is what it is and should be enjoyed because of that.

Unknown World (1951)

Low wattage thrills deep underground.

Dr Morley (Victor Kilian) is convinced the world is heading towards atomic annihilation and thinks mankind needs a new home deep underground to keep safe. He forms a foundation and raises funds to build a machine that can explore deep underground. With a team of scientists and rich playboy financier Wright (Bruce Kellogg) the mission begins...

Of course, deep underground is a dangerous place (though also unfortunately a bit dreary). However, finally they discover a huge cavern underground with a mysterious life source and a sea. The rabbits which Joan (Marilyn Nash) has bought with her prove to be sterile in this new world though, which dooms Morley's hopes...

This isn't a bad film, it's just a bit dull. It has the usual perils and personality clashes and a reasonably cool drilling machine but lacks a spark somewhere, the low budget didn't help. 

Cyborg 2087 (1966)

It is the future and mankind is under the control of deranged technology. A cyborg is sent back to the present day to prevent the invention of this technology and change the future. No, this isn't Terminator!

Garth A7 (Michael Rennie) is sent back to groovy 1960s Earth to prevent Professor Marx (Eduard Franz) from developing a mind to mind communication system which in the future is used to enslave humanity. Unfortunately he only has a short time period to do it before sentinels from the future are sent to capture him. He enlists the help of Marx's assistant Dr Mason (Karen Steele) and her friend Dr Zellar (Warren Stevens) but the sentinels with their zap guns are already on the case...

A low-budget science-fiction film that makes the clever decision, budget wise, to base most of it's action on present day non-SF film sets and locations. Although the film's plot does plod a little at times, and can be a little cheesy, this is not a bad film at all. The idea behind the film is very good, no wonder it was later used again.

Our Miss Fred (1972)

Danny La Rue versus the Nazis, so awful it's brilliant.

Fred (La Rue) is an actor who is called up by the British Army to entertain the troops in early 1940. However, while Fred is on stage in drag, the Germans launch a surprise attack and capture everyone. Fred is told he must stay in drag otherwise he'll be shot as a spy! Unfortunately for Fred, General Brincker (Alfred Marks) takes a fancy to them!

Fred soon finds themself involved with Miss Flodden (Lally Bowers), Miss Lockhart (Frances de la Tour) who are leading a bunch of English schoolgirls trapped in France (and as this is a 1970s comedy the girls are of course saucy and oversexed), and a shot down RAF pilot (Lance Percival) whom they are hiding...

So, this is a typically British piece of whimsical nonsense, containing so many innuendoes and obvious jokes. It is terrible but incredibly funny at times. The charisma and charm of La Rue holds the film together and somehow makes it work.

Charlie Chan in London (1934)

Charlie Chan tackles a complicated crime in an English country house, How could this be anything other than brilliant? Let's find out.

A young man (Douglas Walton) is due to go to the gallows for murder in a few days but his sister Pamela (Drue Leyton) is still desperately trying to prove his innocence. Charlie Chan (Warner Oland) is in London on another case but Pamela persuades him to help. Charlie heads up to the country house where the murder took place. 

He encounters some resistance from the upper class stereotypes assembled there for a hunting party. While they hunt foxes, Charlie hunts clues. But soon his own life is in danger...

This is an excellent instalment in the Charlie Chan series, though Charlie is on his own this time with no sons to help. Charlie expertly unravels the plot and ends up tricking the real murderer into unmasking himself. Great film indeed!

The Panther's Claw (1942)

An excellent crime drama that makes heavy use of red herrings.

Wig maker Digberry (Byron Foulger) is arrested acting suspiciously by a graveyard. He claims he is the victim not the crime and he was paying a blackmailer called the Panther. However, the police in the form of Commissioner Colt (Sidney Blackmer) soon unravel the blackmail plot and find it was fake, set up by Digberry himself to cover the use of money for another reason...

Then opera singer Nina (Gerta Rozan) is found dead and the evidence points to Digberry. The DA (Herbert Rawlinson) wants Digberry arrested by Colt, but the Commissioner isn't so sure...

A great crime drama with some solid police detective work, including typewriter forensic analysis which i particularly enjoyed. Everything points to Digberry but it is fairly obvious that that would be too easy, the question is just who is the real culprit and this film very cleverly shows us. Not many films have the creator and owner of a wig as a vital plot point.

The 27th Day (1957)

Usually, science-fiction films with low budgets means bad (though often very watchable) films, however it isn't always the case such as with this one...

Five strangers are plucked seemingly from the world at random by an alien (Arnold Moss). Onboard his flying saucer, they are each given a capsule containing a terrible weapon (which only they can use) that can wipe out millions. The alien tells them that they have twenty seven days (once they are returned to the world) to decide what to do with the weapon before it becomes useless.

The five strangers including reporter Jonathan (Gene Barry) are in shock and not sure what to do, though their terrible secret is soon out. Jonathan goes into hiding with Englishwoman Eve (Valerie French). German scientist Professor Bechner (George Voskovec) lies ill in hospital. In the Soviet Union, poor unfortunate soldier Ivan (Azemat Janti) is encouraged to give up his secret by the various robust methods of the KGB. As the deadline approaches can Bechner, Jonathan and Eve find a way to stop the weapon being used by the Soviets?

When you have a low budget and want to make a science-fiction film you can blow your budget on terrible special effects and various genre nonsense. Alternatively you can invest in a very good story and plot, happily this film takes this second option. A very interesting and thoughtful film, it probably did not score too well with people who did want cheesy monsters in rubber suits but you can't win them all.

Mind Ripper (1995)

Attempts to create a genetically engineered super soldier go wrong (what a surprise!)

At a secret government laboratory in the desert, scientists attempt to bring a corpse back to life. Finally their attempts work, unfortunately Thor (Dan Blom) has become an uncontrollable crazed beast augmented by genetic mutations. Alex (John Diehl) calls the project leader Stockton (Lance Henriksen) back to the lab. Naturally Stockton brings his young family with him to a remote desert laboratory where human experiments are carried out...

Meanwhile Alex, Joanne (Claire Stansfield) and Rob (Gregory Sporleder) are desperately trying to stay alive. Joanne discovers that Thor needs a certain chemical to stay alive, unfortunately Thor gets this chemical by growing a phallic appendage out of his mouth and then stabbing it into his victim's brain! 

This film has a lot of claustrophobic mayhem and running about into a barely lit underground bunker. The gore content is pretty high and the film does have the odd bright spot in it's plot though these are unfortunately largely lost in the gloom of stilted dialogue and repetitive nonsense. Not that a great film though fun to watch.

Meet Nero Wolfe (1936)

The first adaptation of the highly popular detective novels. 

Nero Wolfe (Edward Arnold), a housebound detective who likes his beer, is employed to investigate a couple of deaths which have been declared natural causes by the authorities. However, Wolfe suspects foul play and sends his assistant Archie (Lionel Stander) to find clues, who is eager to get married to his gal Mazie (Dennie Moore) but the case must be solved first. 

The case is complicated however and involves events which took place in the past in South America. Wolfe eventually assembles all the suspects, after an attempted shooting, a gas bomb and even an attack by a deadly snake...

Wolfe is a rather strange detective character, preferring to sit and drink beer rather than do anything else. Despite that the film's complicated plot moves apace, maybe too fast moving at times. Wolfe is an interesting character though maybe he didn't translate too well into the screen. Despite plenty of stories available to adapt we would only see one more film in this series in a couple of years.

Beyond the Time Barrier (1960)

A 1960s astronaut is sent into the far future... 2024 to be exact.

Allison (Robert Clarke) is testing the X-80, a new research craft. However, when he lands at his airbase he finds it derelict and everyone has vanished. He is soon captured by a strange group of people in matching outfits. Allison discovers that he is not in 1960 anymore, somehow he has been sent to 2024. 

The land has been devastated by cosmic rays and the remains of mankind live underground in rival factions. Allison is captured by one faction who are powerful but the radiation has made them largely sterile. Allison wants to return home though The Supreme (Vladimir Sokoloff) has other plans for him, he wants Allison to mate with his daughter Trirene (Darlene Tompkins)...

A slightly strange but enjoyable film. The budget is low but well used. The plot is a little more meaty than other examples of the genre. Of course their idea of the 2020s hasn't quite matched reality though the triangular doors really would be wonderful.

Hold That Woman! (1940)

The complicated life of the repo man, especially when he gets involved in a criminal plot.

Jimmy (James Dunn) is a skip tracer or repo man who is told he needs to get results or he will be looking for alternative employment. This is an annoyance as he wants to marry his sweetheart Mary (Frances Gifford). He combines a date with Mary with repossessing a radio from Lulu (Lita La Roy), unbeknownst to Jimmy Lulu is involved in a crime to steal jewellery from a movie star and has stashed the gems in the radio!

Jimmy's attempts to get the radio result in he and Mary spending the night in jail, however he is undaunted though unaware of the plot surrounding Lulu and the gems. When he finally does get them he finds himself in a car chase and shoot out with the gangster Steve (George Douglas)...

A great little film, a nicely involving story and some decent comedy moments but kept straight enough to take the crime element seriously. Great performances mean this film is well worth your time.

The Incredible Petrified World (1959)

A rather deep and dull adventure a long way underwater, one could say its a bit of a damp squid.

Four adventurers head deep underwater to explore a mysterious new layer on the sea bed. Something goes wrong of course and the adventurers end up trapped in a subterranean cave. The two males, Randall (Robert Clarke) and Paul (Allen Windsor) do their best to be butch and try and find their way out, the two females Dale (Phyllis Coates) and Lauri (Sheila Noonan) do their best to do the domestic chores and begin a long drawn out bitchfest. 

Things are complicated by another trapped man (Maurice Bernard) who has been down there for years and is a bit crazy, and tells them there is no way out. However, on the surface Professor Wyman (John Carradine) is preparing for a rescue attempt...

In theory this could have been a decent film but unfortunately it is rather dull with not a great deal happens. It's a short film padded out with stock footage and aimlessly wandering about a cave. Maybe if it's budget had been increased to say $20 it would have been more worthwhile, as it is the film is easily missable.

The Secret of Dr. Kildare (1939)

An amiable entry in the long-running Dr Kildare / Dr Gillespie series.

Dr Gillespie (Lionel Barrymore) has cancer and it is getting worse, he is also putting himself under terrific strain while searching for a treatment for pneumonia. His assistant Dr Kildare (Lew Ayres) concocts a scheme to force Gillespie to take a rest. Meanwhile, he takes on a case of a young woman (Helen Gilbert) who has gone blind even though there appears to be nothing physically wrong with her. 

Meanwhile, Kildare's father (Samuel S Hinds) might have something seriously wrong with him...

This is a fine little film, well structured and well made. Various plot lines neatly intertwine. The Gillespie / Kildare double-act works very well.

The Dead One (1961)

One of the earliest zombie movies in colour, quite terrible though reasonably interesting.

John (John McKay) and his new bride Linda (Linda Ormond) head up to the house in Louisiana which John has inherited. His cousin Monica (Monica Davis) already lives there and isn't that happy about John's arrival. She is into the voodoo cult which John dismisses as superstition in his typical bossy 1960s male way. 

At night Monica summons her recently deceased brother Jonas (Clyde Kelly) from the grave as a zombie (in a tuxedo). She sends him to kill Linda though he gets confused and kills a woman who was also staying in the house (Darlene Myrick) instead. John is still dismissive though soon realises the voodoo power is real...

A short movie though takes such an incredible amount of time to get going that it feels much longer. Not a terribly exciting story though an interesting example of a US indie film. One of the first two zombie films in colour, the other being Dr Blood's Coffin.

Doomsday Machine (1976)

A curious low-budget science fiction movie that looks like it was finished by different people than who started it, and funnily enough...

NASA is preparing for a mission to Venus, however a mysterious Chinese super weapon has spooked the rest of the world. NASA pushes the launch earlier and replaces three of the male crew with three women. As the rocket makes it's somewhat unsteady trip into space the reason for the change becomes evident. The Earth is about to be destroyed and the six crew of the mission are to head to Venus not to explore but to rebuild the human race...

But the mission runs into trouble including one crewman becoming a sex maniac and ultimately being accidentally ejected out of the airlock, various radiation dangers and mild late 1960s sexism. The film has a strange and bleak ending which kind of makes the entire film rather meaningless. It stars Bobby Van, Ruta Lee, Mala Powers and Henry Wilcoxon who do their best with the mediocre dialogue and often meaningless and lifeless scenes.

The film was started in the late 1960s but left unfinished, finally in the mid-1970s it was picked up and finished by another crew. The final scenes employ different actors to before which adds to the confusion. Its not great but unintentionally hilarious, there are some interesting ideas but rather lost in the poor execution. Ropey special effects add to the cheese.