Robot Holocaust (1987)

The post-apocalypse has never been more dangerous... or boring.

It is the post-apocalypse on a planet called New Terra (even though a rather intact Manhattan is clearly visible in some of the outside shots and Central Park in others). People in rags fight and die until the evil rule of Dark One and his robot army, led by the incredibly campy and over the top Valaria (Angelica Jager).

Neo (Norris Culf) arrives at this hell on ..er.. New Terra and is persuaded to help Deeja (Nadine Hartstein) rescue her scientist father Klyton (J. Buzz von Ornsteiner) from the Dark One as he has invented a weapon to finally defeat the Dark One. Neo assembles a mixed crew of scantily clad heroes and an annoying robot to face a series of dangers and quite a few rather inept fights.

The plot alone means this film won't be a cinematic classic but films like New Barbarians had ropey plots too but were still great fun to watch. The main problem with Robot Holocaust is that it is all so lifeless and dreary. Fights are slow and pointless, the characters move between somewhat similar looking though apparently completely different areas of the "wasteland" slowly for no reason. It is a terrible film, one of the worst ever. It is however, well worth watching for Angelica Jager alone. An astonishing performance is more ways than one.

Mesa of Lost Women (1953)

A rather mediocre mad science horror, the only really scary thing is the soundtrack.

Scientist Aranya (Jackie Coogan) (and as this is a movie he is of course a mad scientist) is conducting twisted human experiments using spider venom to create a race of indestructible and obedient women. Another scientist called Dr Masterson (Harmon Stevens) discovers the vile experiments and is driven insane. He escapes the asylum and forces a group of people including Richard Travis and Paula Hill back to Aranya's bizarre desert lair...

This isn't a very good film. It's very slow moving and dull though does have some enjoyable science weirdness and 1950s style sleazy exotica. 

The main problem with this film though is the soundtrack, a short piece of music which is on continuous repeat throughout the movie and will make you irritable and on edge after five minutes.

The Mystery of the Hooded Horsemen (1937)

Standard but well made B-movie Western adventures.

Tex Ritter encounters a dying man who has just been shot by a gang of masked thugs. Tex and Stubby (Horace Murphy) head to check a gold mine which the Sheriff and locals seem to want to keep people away from. Tex infiltrates the gang of Hooded Horsemen but is discovered and only just manages to escape. 

Who is the ringleader of the gang, can Tex find out before he either gets shot by the gang or arrested by the law?

This is a decent film, though apart from the bad guys in black masks there isn't anything you will have already seen in dozens of other B-movie Westerns. It has the usual fast horseriding, gun fights, a fight in a saloon and a few songs by Tex! 

Nancy Wilson provides the (another staple of these films) love interest.

The American Angels: Baptism of Blood (1990)

Ah this sounds like it could be a tough and gritty film from the violent world of wrestling, actually no this is a largely bloodless though frequently soft core bit of sexploitation.

Lisa (Jan Sebastian) is one of a number of girls who want to train to become wrestlers and join the American Angels organisation. Lisa has a secret though, her grandfather was Killer Kane (Robert D Bergen), notorious for killing someone in the ring. Luckily Lisa doesn't follow in his footsteps, yet. She is desperate to fight the champion Mimi (Mimi Lesseos) and will even seduce the show owner Diamond Dave (Tray Loren) to get her shot. As Diamond and Mimi are a couple this adds extra spice to the final showdown...

OK its fairly obvious who this film is aimed at, it's full of scantily clad fit and toned young women getting sweaty (so not all bad then). Despite all sexploitation nonsense, it isn't that bad a film and has some decent in ring action, assisted by real wrestlers like Susan Sexton. 

Not great but could have been a lot worse.

Galaxina (1980)

A campy science-fiction comedy that unfortunately isn't that funny.

A police space cruiser captained by Captain Butt (Avery Schreiber) - the name features in a number of jokes, as does Uranus, thats the level of humour here - is sent into deep space to discover a jewel called the Blue Star which contains unimaginable power. 

His crew are mostly misfits except for gorgeous android Galaxina (Dorothy Stratten) who basically runs the ship. Indeed the rest of the crew seem more interested in getting stoned and getting their legs over with either alien prostitutes with three breasts or Galaxian herself...

The film meanders along fairly amicably, the weirdness keeps you interested. In some ways this film reminds me of Dark Star, though this film is no where near as good or funny. It needed to be a bit more subtle. 

It's watchable, pretty ridiculous but could have been so much more.