Infra-Man (1975)

Incredible sci-fi kung fu mayhem. The Earth comes under attack from an army of monsters led by Princess Dragon Mum (Terry Liu) who wants to rule the world and make mankind her slaves. Normal weapons (well fists and pistols anyway) are useless against the monsters, however at a secret science base led by the Professor (Hsieh Wang) he converts Rayma (Danny Lee) into Inframan.

Inframan is a bio-electronical marvel who is powered by the sun (although still seems to be able to fight in the dark). He manages to turn the tide of the fight against the Princess and her army. However the Princess isn't finished yet and has plenty of diabolical plans...

Many highly entertaining fights involving people in rubber suits follow. The film is remarkable cheese though plot wise is a bit basic (not that that really matters too much in this kind of film). The film includes many strange scenes to enjoy, one of the best being the scene after the Professor is captured by the monsters and is taken to their lair in a speed boat, flanked by two rubber suited monsters!

Invasion of the Animal People (1959)

A Swedish cheesy alien invasion film, but made pretty incomprehensible by a badly executed American edit. John Carradine narrates the tale of an alien invasion, the aliens of course are after Earth women in the shape of Diane (Barbara Wilson). A group of scientists led by Engstrom (Stan Gester) investigate a meteor and some strange happenings in the frozen wastes of Northern Sweden (which the American edit seems to want to place in Switzerland - even though Lapland is mentioned a lot!)

The meteor turns out to be a spaceship, an alien monster destroys the scientists' plane and threatens a geologist and his ice skating girlfriend...

The Swedish original was a reasonable if not incredibly original science-fiction film but the American edit seems to take most of the sense out of it. A curious film with some truly laughable special effects (of course).

Ghosts on the Loose (1943)

Low wattage mirth and spookiness. The East Side Boys (an ensemble of characters who appeared in many a film in the 1940s) are decorating a house after one of the Boy's sister (Ava Gardner) gets married.

Naturally there is a mix-up and they enter the wrong house... one that is being used by Nazi spies led by Bela Lugosi. The spies want to get rid of the Boys and so play at spooks with various hidden trapdoors and panels behind pictures...

When we get onto the actual spookiness the film is fairly good though not very original. The earlier wedding segment does drag a bit with various gags which are stretched a bit thin. Luckily the film stays modest. Its a passable time waster but not much more.

Bar-Z Bad Men (1937)

A decent if not unexceptional B Western with some twists. Jim (Johnny Mack Brown) arrives at a ranch he is a new partner in. However before very long his partner Ed (Jack Rockwell) is shot in an ambush and his ranch's herd is larger than it should be. A neighbouring ranch owner, Hamp (Frank La Rue) has accused Ed of rustling.

Jim thus has to find out what is really going on. Hamp's foreman Brent (Dick Curtis) is behind the reverse rustling to further the nefarious schemes of townsman Sig Bostell (Tom London) to get hold of Ed's land...

So fairly a standard Western ranch war tale, despite the reverse rustling twist the story line is pretty straight forward. Jim defeats the baddies with some decent fighting (though as usual with these Westerns everyone seems to need about 20 shots to make one hit!) and horsemanship. Hemp's daughter Lois (Lois January) plays the love interest for Jim, will he get the girl in the end? There are no surprises there either!

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

A very strange film, apparently a Christmas tale though it spends quite a lot of time displaying nuclear missiles and bombers! Martian children are watching Santa Claus on Earth TV and are sad that they have no toys and joy, no Christmas! The leader of the Martians, Kimar (Leonard Hicks) decides to go to Earth. However, for a change the Martians are not bent on destroying the world or stealing our women... no, instead they want Santa Claus!

The Martians manage to kidnap the real Santa (John Call) and two children (Victor Stiles and Betty Conforti) and take them to Mars. Santa manages to defeat the Martians and bring Christmas to Martian children! Hooray!

Obviously very silly, and not a little trippy. It is also pretty low budget though that adds to the fun, the Martians are all in green and have antennae growing out of their heads of course! The special effects are fairly cheap (though better than some serious science fiction films). The man in the polar bear suit is hilarious.

The Looking Glass War (1970)

An excellent Le Carre adaptation, though one which differs from the book somewhat. The Department is a fading section of British Intelligence desperate to recapture former glories. When they find out about apparent Russian missiles in East Germany they see the chance to regain their standing by sending a man in to verify the information...

Polish layabout Leiser (Christopher Jones) is whom LeClerc (Ralph Richardson) and Avery (Anthony Hopkins) find to infiltrate the Iron Curtain. Leiser doesn't care about politics, he just wants to live in the West and chase girls. However he is trained to be a killer and some basic spycraft and then sent over. What could go wrong?

A lot in fact, from the start the operation is bungled and the East Germans are never far away from Leiser, who hooks up with local girl Anna (Pia Degermark) and travels across Germany in an old lorry leaving the odd body behind...

Dark and bleak but also having a touch of "Swinging London". Leiser is a bit of a blank slate, his motivation is rather vague, his characterisation a bit undeveloped. The film looks beautiful though and has a cynical edge to the glamour and sunshine.

Dogora (1964)

A rather confusing film. Although this is a Toho movie and involves a monster destroying perfectly made minature buildings, the main focus of the film is a crime story involving diamonds. Though the monster, a giant jelly fish from space, likes eating diamonds (and coal) so the stories are linked!

The crimes (and monster) is being investigated by Inspector Kommei (Yosuke Natsuki) and gaijin Mark Jackson (Robert Dunham), as well as bearded scientist Dr Munakata (Nobuo Nakamura).

The problem with the film is that is it neither one thing or the other. Most of the film is taken up with the diamond case, which is rather confusing though the actual crimes are well done. The monster seems a bit tacked on and doesn't take up much of the film, those does provide for the opportunity for some special effects... and destruction. Not a great film but it looks good.

Dead Men Walk (1943)

A decent creepy vampire tale. Dr Clayton (George Zucco) discovers that his twin brother Elwyn has gone into league with Satan. He secretly kills Elwyn but it is no use. Elwyn is now an un-dead vampire who has a taste for the blood of his niece Gayle (Mary Carlisle). Kate's beau David (Nedrick Young) at first suspects Dr Clayton of being behind Gayle's decline.

The town folk, a motley collection of gap toothed hicks, suspect Dr Clayton as being behind the dark forces taking place in the town...

The film has some good atmosphere, especially in the cemetery scenes, though the film isn't too original. It has all the usual elements of a vampire movie including a hunchback servant in Zolarr (Dwight Frye). The film needed a little more energy, Carlisle had an easy role in this, she spends most of the film in bed!

The Devil to Pay! (1930)

Ronald Colman excels in this film as Willie, a suave and workshy man with a heart of gold, but a weakness for gambling. He returns home, penniless from Africa, to his angry father (Frederick Kerr) - though very easily charms the old man. He also meets Dorothy (Loretta Young) who is engaged to marry a rather dull aristocrat. Willie and Dorothy fall in love...

However, there is a complication of course. Willie was in love with showgirl Mary (Myrna Loy). Willie has promised Dorothy never to see Mary again, and Dorothy's father has engaged a detective agency to find out if Willie breaks his promise...

A bright and breezy romantic comedy. Colman's cad-ish charm filled the screen. It is fairly light and inconsequential perhaps but a highly enjoyable little film.

I Bury the Living (1958)

A creepy film though most of that atmosphere is generated an excellent soundtrack. Robert Kraft (Richard Boone) has been made chairman of the cemetery, his job mostly entailing putting pins into a map of the graves and telling the strange caretaker Andy (Theodore Bikel) what to do. However to Robert's surprise he accidentally puts black pins into the burial plots of two friends who die soon after...

More black pins are put into the map, some when sceptical friends challenge Robert, and more deaths soon follow. Robert fears it isn't just a load of coincidences and that he has become an angel of death...

A simple film mostly filmed mostly in a somewhat run-down cottage. The film is tense and works well with it's low budget. The film has a twist though it isn't one that will surprise you. The twist changes the whole direction of the film, for better or worse depending on your point of view.

Jack and the Beanstalk (1970)

No doubt as the drug induced haze of the end of the 1960s began to slowly disperse, the idea of making a vaguely psychedelic and low budget version of a fairy story must have seemed a good idea.

So of course the story is very familiar, Jack (Mitch Poulos) is tricked out of selling his cow by Honest John (Chris Brooks) for a handful of magic beans instead of money. Mum (Dorothy Stokes) is displeased at this and throws the beans out of the window... but lo... the beans suddenly become a "giant" beanstalk (a rope with a few leaves tied onto it!)

Jack climbs the beanstalk and enters a magical realm inhabited by a grumpy giant (Renato Boracherro). Jack steals the giant's golden hen, but of course this puts the giant on Jack's trail...

A strange film that looks more like a filmed school play. The fairy tale is slightly modernised and the dialogue has a touch of late 1960s modernisation. It is a bit groovy, not brilliant but certainly different.

Tiger on the Beat (1988)

Tiger on the Beat is not that original a film, a veteran cop and a rookie have some mis-matched adventures but all comes right in the end to face the big baddie. Sgt. Li (Chow Yun Fat) is the veteran, a tough cop who eats whole slices of ham in one go and always has an eye for the ladies. Officer Tso (Conan Lee) is the rookie, eager and ready to use his martial arts skills.

Obviously the pair do not get on, but Li needs Tso to help him bust a big case and get his career back on track. After a good deal of humour and traditional HK movie oddness we get down to a decent showdown with the criminals, including a chain saw fight with Gordon Liu.

A good fun film if a little messy at times. Like many HK action films it could do with a little less. Chow Yun Fat plays a great role, cool and cocky, with plenty of humour. Conan Lee pulled off some incredible action scenes.

Diamonds are Forever (1971)

For our seven hundredth review, we enter the world of 007...

The seventh James Bond film, Sean Connery returning to the role after George Lazenby made his first and only appearance in the previous film On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Bond is sent to investigate a diamond smuggling ring, though of course as this is a Bond film there isn't as simple a reason for smuggling diamonds such as greed. Bond discovers that SPECTRE are using the diamonds to create a powerful orbital laser weapon. The laser is used to destroy nuclear weapons in the US, Russia and China...

Bond discovers this in his usual way, mostly wearing a dinner jacket in various nice bars and casinos. Bond befriends (and beds of course) the diamond smuggler Tiffany (Jill St. John), he also tangles with arch-nemesis Blofeld (Charles Grey). Bond also steals a moon buggy and it all ends up in a final battle on an oil rig. The usual campy and over the top 007 nonsense we love.

This was Connery's final "official" James Bond film, 1983's Never Say Never Again being not part of the Eon produced canon of course. It is a fine film which depicts the ridiculous stylised 007 spy game better than most. The title song by Shireley Bassey surely has to be one of the very best Bond themes.

Cynara (1932)

A compelling story of how an affair rips apart a "perfect" life. Jim (Ronald Colman) is a successful barrister married to Clemency (Kay Francis). Their marriage is happy though Jim's life maybe lacks a little excitement. When Clemency is away Jim meets Doris (Phyllis Barry), a young shop girl. Despite Jim's misgivings (and love for his wife) an affair with Doris begins...

But when Clemency returns home, Jim realises his mistake and tries to end his affair but of course these things cannot be ended as easily or as swiftly as they can begin.

A highly enjoyable drama. The film opens with the collapse of Jim's and Clemency's marriage, and Jim prepares to head abroad in exile after his disgrace, the affair is told in flashback. The affair is treated with shades of grey which elevates the film into something special. It is clear that Jim loved Clemency throughout and the film will tug your heart strings for sure.

Black Dragons (1942)

Rather baffling propaganda drama. A group of Fifth Columnists, out to harm the US' war effort against the Japanese are killed off one by one by the mysterious M. Colomb (Bela Lugosi) - who seemingly is allowed to wander around the house of Mr Saunders (George Pembroke) without anyone querying exactly why or who he is.

Young detective Dick Martin (Clayton Moore) and Saunders' niece Alice (Joan Barclay) are trying to find out what is going on though without much success (just like the film going public no doubt). Colomb runs rings around everyone, able to appear wherever he likes in Saunders' house...

A rather clunky film though full of suspense and dark shadows. There is also a lot of inept police work on show. The plot is rather confusing, though at the end things become a little clearer when Columb's real identity and purpose is known. Though while the plot becomes clearer plausibility is stretched somewhat. The film should just be enjoyed for what it is. Mostly nonsense, but decent enough nonsense.

Missile to the Moon (1958)

Another 1950s scientifically implausible space exploration film, though this one has an interesting twist. Gary (Tommy Cook) and Lon (Gary Clarke) are escaped convicts who stow away on a rocket ship. The ship's builder Dirk (Michael Whalen) finds them and decides they will be the perfect crew to take an unauthorised trip to the moon before the government takes his ship from him. Dirk's friends Steve (Richard Travis) and June (Cathy Downs) also end up on this trip to the moon.

When they arrive there (not without incident) they find giant lumbering rock creatures. They hide in a cave and are captured by buxom blue skinned women. Naturally the moon civilisation, led by Lido (K.T. Stevens), is dying...

The special effects are hilariously un-special. The scene where they first arrive on the moon is a case in point, the "rocket" in the background is obvious two-dimensional card. The "moon" in the background for some reason has visible room corners! The less that can be said for some of the monsters the better. This gives the film the required camp and cheese factor to make this an enjoyable, if fairly unoriginal, 1950s sci-fi romp.

City Hunter (1993)

Not one of Jackie Chan's best films though still worth investigating. A comic book adaptation where Jackie plays a rather lazy private investigator called Ryu. He, along with his assistant Kaori (Joey Wang), are hired to find the missing daughter of a Japanese businessman. The search takes them to a cruise ship, which then gets hijacked. Ryu gets drawn into the fight against the hijackers led by MacDonald (Richard Norton)...

It is all a bit silly though not without some good moments including a great Street Fighter scene. Some of the fights are pretty good too, including one that draws upon Game of Death, and the film has a rather anarchic feel.

Unfortunately the silliness is a little too over the top. The film is made as a live action anime and if approached in that way it does entertain. There is some Jackie magic but other films showcase it much better.

The Mark of Zorro (1920)

Zorro is a hero of the poor and oppressed in colonial Mexico, his dashing deeds causing the downfall of many a brutal Spanish governor or soldier. But who is Zorro, obviously it can't be the rather limp Don Diego Vega (Douglas Fairbanks). Though come to think of it, have you ever seen both of them at the same time?

A good fun film full of action and swashbuckling, allowing Fairbanks to display his athleticism. In playing Vega too he also displayed his acting ability and does both very well. This was the first Zorro film made, appearing just a year after the original story was published. There were many more films to come, few as good as this one though.

Lolita (Marguerite de la Motte) is courted by the gruff Colonel Ramon (Robert McKim) and Vega. Ramon, of course, is the bad guy and Zorro will be needed to save the day...

The Marines Come Thru (1938)

A rather middling spy drama, enlivened by a performing goose. Marine aviation mechanics Singapore (Wallace Ford) and Junior (Grant Withers) have helped the Marines develop a new bomb sight. A group of foreign agents including Beckstrom (Frank Rasmussen) and Dick Weber (Don Lanning) want to steal the plans and manage to infiltrate the base disguised as Marines...

Singapore and Junior overhear the agents' plans and head to an island which is the agents' base. There is also a fairly lengthy segment set in a night club with a performing goose, the goose is probably one of the best actors in this unexceptional drama.

In the end the good guys win through amid a propaganda heavy montage of military footage. However most the audience probably had zoned out by then. The film needed more of Lucille the goose to be honest.

One Body Too Many (1944)

A fun comedy horror / mystery romp. An eccentric millionaire has died, his relatives (whom he mostly hated) gather to hear his will. However he has a final strange stipulation, unless he is buried in a glass dome he will have the terms of his will reversed so those who get a lot will get little and versa. A string of mysteries and intrigues begin...

Hapless insurance agent Albert (Jack Haley) is dragged into the intrigue by Jean Parker and ends up having to try and find out who is trying to steal the body, bury him underground and reverse the will...

An entertaining film full of dark house mystery tropes (hidden passages, stormy night, real eyes behind paintings et cetera). It even has Bela Lugosi in it as the somewhat creepy butler obsessed with making coffee.

Bruce Li in New Guinea (1978)

Crazy Bruceploitation. Bruce Li (not Lee of course) plays an anthropologist who goes to New Guinea with his friend to explore the mysterious snake cult tribe. After a number of fights, including against the likes of Bolo Yeung, Bruce goes missing only to re-emerge from the jungle some time later. Back in HK he is a changed man, and seems to be possessed by the snake spirit...

Bruce remembers that he was nursed back to health by Princess Ankawa (Danna) after being poisoned in a fight against the Snake Wizard (Sing Chen)...

The plot is fairly simple and doesn't get in the way of a series of kung fu fights, some of which are pretty decent. However a little more storyline and a little less fighting might have improved the film a bit. The film is a perfect example of the genre: terrible dubbing, odd sound effects and fast editing. It even has a man in a rather unconvincing ape costume! Not terrible but not terribly original either.